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View Full Version : MOMS & DADS - AGE LIMITS & PUBLIC TOILETS.



Don Allen
06-20-2011, 06:50 PM
In the last 60 days:

First my wife, In the ladies room of a Target store when a mom brings in a boy about 7-8 years old to use the bathroom. The boy is gawking at the other ladies in the room and my wife feels very uncomfortable and exits before finishing her business, opting to wait outside until these people are finished and leave.

Yesterday, I'm at a Bob Evans restaurant, Upon entering the bathroom is a father with two girls, one about 4-5 the other 6-7. While one is using the facility's the other is running around the room generally inquisitive as to what urinals are used for, I turned and waited outside as did another gentlemen who wandered upon the scene.

Now, as a father of three, I most certainly accompanied my children both my boy and my two girls into the washrooms when I wasn't accompanied by my wife. However, by the time they hit 4-5 I did as most other parents (I thought) do. Stood outside there perspective washrooms and waited for them to do their business, occasionally calling in to make sure they were fine, washing hands, etc.

Am I wrong to think children older than say 5-6 should be allowed to use a toilet facility without a parent,, with the understandable caveat of an undesirable location.....

An 8 year old boy in the women's room, to me seems wrong, but in today's world, who knows?

Any thoughts???

brainstorm77
06-20-2011, 06:52 PM
Does your wife is do her 'business' right out in the open? Wasn't there a stall?

What would you have her do with the eight year old while she is in there? With all the child predators on the go, my kid would be near me. Sorry.

Don Allen
06-20-2011, 06:53 PM
...Also, it's a given if the child is debilitated in some degree, I'm speaking specifically about normal healthy older children, just to be clear....

Vito
06-20-2011, 06:53 PM
I think moms and dads should be permitted to use the restroom, no matter how old they are. It's common courtesy.

Don Allen
06-20-2011, 06:53 PM
Your wife is doing her 'business' right our in the open? Wasn't there a stall?

There were several in which the boy stuck his head under one.

newbound
06-20-2011, 06:54 PM
8 years old? Yeah, I have to agree that he could use the men's room with the mother waiting outside. There are so many sickos that a woman by herself might be too afraid of what could happen, but he should be old enough to call out or run away if a strange man approached him. It's not as if he doesn't use the restroom by himself when he's in school. LOL

I have a toddler son, so of course he goes in the restroom with me. Don't really know when I'll feel comfortable to let him go in the men's room by himself. Guess I'll have to wait and see. :)

But an 8 year old peeking under stalls? Maybe he was retarded? He should have been in the stall with his mother, so he wouldn't have made anyone else uncomfortable.


I think moms and dads should be permitted to use the restroom, no matter how old they are. It's common courtesy.

LOL

milly
06-20-2011, 06:56 PM
I think it's much more acceptable to take a boy with you into a women's restroom if you needed to simply because there are stalls...and if, while you are waiting for a stall to open, you can't control your son and keep him from sneaking a peek under a stall, then you shouldn't take him...you should know your kid

as for taking a little girl into a men's restroom with urinals?? no way...I wouldn't even think of letting my husband take my youngest daughter and she is not even 3...because at her age, she already asks questions or is curious and aside from what I don't want to expose her to, I wouldn't want the men to feel uncomfortable

brainstorm77
06-20-2011, 06:58 PM
There were several in which the boy stuck his head under one.

You didn't say that in your first post. That is different, and a case of that parent not having control. He should have already been taught NOT to do that at eight. This is where I blame THAT parent and not the child in question.

Don Allen
06-20-2011, 06:58 PM
8 years old? Yeah, I have to agree that he could use the men's room with the mother waiting outside. There are so many sickos that a woman by herself might be too afraid of what could happen, but he should be old enough to call out or run away if a strange man approached him. It's not as if he doesn't use the restroom by himself when he's in school. LOL

I have a toddler son, so of course he goes in the restroom with me. Don't really know when I'll feel comfortable to let him go in the men's room by himself. Guess I'll have to wait and see. :)



...and to be clear, I totally understand and agree that toddlers and children to a certain age should be accompanied by their parents. Personally I'm uncomfortable using a facility, especially a urinal when a young girl 6-7-8 is in the proximity.....

Don Allen
06-20-2011, 07:01 PM
You didn't say that in your first post. That is different, and a case of that parent not having control. He should have already been taught NOT to do that at eight. This is where I blame THAT parent and not the child in question.

I said the boy was gawking at the women, trying to leave the sordid details out of the equation. I would have thought you understood my meaning, without telling you that the kid looked under the stall, and started giggling and carrying on like he seen his first porn mag.....


a little decor.... from me is restraint...

newbound
06-20-2011, 07:03 PM
But Milly, what about if your husband was out with your little girl without you? He can't exactly leave her outside if he had to use the restroom. Sometimes it's necessary to take small children into the restroom with you, no matter the sex of that child. :)

But this reminds me of a situation when I worked at a restaurant. I was finishing up when a little girl about 4 asked if I could help dress her little sister because she couldn't do it. I walked into the stall to find a 2 year old standing in her underwear. As I knelt there and completely dressed the child, I wondered where the hell were their parents? There was no man standing outside the restroom when I walked out, and the little girls ran back into the restaurant where their father waited at the table. What would have stopped those two little girls from walking into the men's room by mistake? Or go out the exit, which was right next to the women's room? That whole situation made me sick to my stomach, and I almost said something to the man...but I didn't. He was just lucky it turned out the way it did.

veinglory
06-20-2011, 07:03 PM
I have no trouble even with fully unisex bathrooms with stalls. It seems to me the problem was the parents not making the kids behave with an age-appropriate amount of decorum.

brainstorm77
06-20-2011, 07:03 PM
It wasn't that long ago that I heard a teen cursing at a Walmart greeter because she 'looked at him'. I was right behind him, and she looked and smiled at him like she did with everyone, including me. The teen was perhaps 14.

I would never have dared act like that when I was growing up.

mscelina
06-20-2011, 07:04 PM
Any little face that comes under the stall door while I'm in it will get a swift kick in the nose. That could teach him the control his mother did not.

What you're describing with the woman and the 8 year old boy is lazy parenting. But you said this was a Target store? The bathrooms at the Target here are right by the women's clothing department and dressing room, and are monitored by store employees.

Same thing goes for Bob Evans (you go to Bob Evans???? Geezer) We're not talking about bathrooms that are universally packed. A parent could send their opposite-gender child into the bathroom by herself and wait for her in the hall. That's just stupid. And lazy. And disrespectful.

These parents aren't doing their kids any favors.

brainstorm77
06-20-2011, 07:04 PM
I said the boy was gawking at the women, trying to leave the sordid details out of the equation. I would have thought you understood my meaning, without telling you that the kid looked under the stall, and started giggling and carrying on like he seen his first porn mag.....


a little decor.... from me is restraint...

But when posting, you should explain the whole situation. He could have been gawking at them in the general area which would make some people uncomfortable. And that's how I read it.

I like to know the full story.

ETA: I have never had a kid looking through a stall at me, nor have I ever witnessed it happening. Why would I assume it did here without knowing?

brainstorm77
06-20-2011, 07:06 PM
Any little face that comes under the stall door while I'm in it will get a swift kick in the nose.

That or a scream that would have been enough to scare the shit out of him, and a telling off to the mother involved.

milly
06-20-2011, 07:08 PM
But Milly, what about if your husband was out with your little girl without you?


will never happen

:tongue

she's a nightmare....

Don Allen
06-20-2011, 07:08 PM
Any little face that comes under the stall door while I'm in it will get a swift kick in the nose. That could teach him the control his mother did not.

What you're describing with the woman and the 8 year old boy is lazy parenting. But you said this was a Target store? The bathrooms at the Target here are right by the women's clothing department and dressing room, and are monitored by store employees.

Same thing goes for Bob Evans (you go to Bob Evans???? Geezer) We're not talking about bathrooms that are universally packed. A parent could send their opposite-gender child into the bathroom by herself and wait for her in the hall. That's just stupid. And lazy. And disrespectful.

These parents aren't doing their kids any favors.

Piss off, I love their breakfast, and now have a goal of taking you there:D

veinglory
06-20-2011, 07:09 PM
An 8 year old sticking his head under the door would be lucky to be reported just to the manager, and not the police. With the girls, similar deal but using a stall might be indicated to avoid any suggestion you had something to do with anything she managed to see.

brainstorm77
06-20-2011, 07:09 PM
I hate all public washrooms. I never use them unless I am desperate to go.

Don Allen
06-20-2011, 07:09 PM
Curious, no one else seems to have had a situation like this? Maybe we've just been unlucky...

newbound
06-20-2011, 07:10 PM
It wasn't that long ago that I heard a teen cursing at a Walmart greeter because she 'looked at him'. I was right behind him, and she looked and smiled at him like she did with everyone, including me. The teen was perhaps 14.

I would never have dared act like that when I was growing up.

Yeah, me too! That kid will probably be in jail by the time he is 18 (if not sooner).

This thread has become quite entertaining! LOL But no, I can't seem to recall seeing kids that old in the restroom. Maybe once the boy was close to that age, but he was so uncomfortable being in there, he cowered in the corner. I didn't pay him any mind, and he avoided eye contact with any of the women.

Don Allen
06-20-2011, 07:11 PM
An 8 year old sticking his head under the door would be lucky to be reported just to the manager, and not the police. With the girls, similar deal but using a stall might be indicated to avoid any suggestion you had something to do with anything she managed to see.

In my situation, the dad was in the stall with the younger girl while the older one was out and about, and the other was occupied....

veinglory
06-20-2011, 07:11 PM
I have been in loos at Borders with oldish boys in the room. But I was in a stall and they were outside, so it didn't bother me. I figured the mother wanted to know where they were while she peed rather then potentially have them get into trouble in the store.

robeiae
06-20-2011, 07:12 PM
I have to admit, the most disturbing thing in this thread is the mentioning of Bob Evans.

That said, the age isn't the problem. As has been somewhat noted, it's the discipline or lack thereof. Eight is too young to leave loose in a department store or mall, imo. I would take my eight year old into the restroom with me, if I needed "relief." And I would simply instruct him or her to "stand right there until I'm done."

Now, I'd probably let my eight year old use the bathroom by himself/herself and just wait at the door, as Don Allen described. Ditto for when they were five, six, or seven...unless they wanted me to come in. Then, into a stall in the men's room. Easy-peasy.

brainstorm77
06-20-2011, 07:12 PM
Yeah, me too! That kid will probably be in jail by the time he is 18 (if not sooner).

This thread has become quite entertaining! LOL

I felt sorry for the woman. It was awful to witness. I've had stuff happen to me.

Back when I smoked, I was outside of my work in the smoking area when a teen asked me for a cigarette. When I said no, he called me a 'fucking bitch'.

Don Allen
06-20-2011, 07:13 PM
I have to admit, the most disturbing thing in this thread is the mentioning of Bob Evans.




I'm so doomed....

newbound
06-20-2011, 07:16 PM
will never happen

:tongue

she's a nightmare....
LOL Oh, OK! ;-)

COchick
06-20-2011, 07:18 PM
I've seen women with sons the verge of puberty taking their sons in to the ladies room. If your kid is that old and can't stand in the hall while you take a whiz, there's a problem.

My two sons are 8 and 5. They both use the men's room alone, and know to meet me in the hall when they are done. The older one is very responsible and is more than capable of watching his brother for a minute, or else I might have to take the little boy in the bathroom with me. He has a tendency to wander. :tongue

My daughter goes with me, obviously. And my husband doesn't normally take her anywhere without me, so we haven't run in to that problem yet. But many places now have family restrooms, where the entire family can go in together to take care of business. Cuts out a lot of the problems.

milly
06-20-2011, 07:22 PM
yeah, the family restrooms that you see nowadays have really helped...it's more privacy and WAY more room especially if you have two toddlers with you at the same time

I also like restaurants where there are simply two restrooms, one male and one female, but that have just a toilet and a sink and a door that locks. For the smaller restaurants or stores, this is great because it eliminates the problem altogether even if it results in people waiting to use the toilet.

newbound
06-20-2011, 07:22 PM
I felt sorry for the woman. It was awful to witness. I've had stuff happen to me.

Back when I smoked, I was outside of my work in the smoking area when a teen asked me for a cigarette. When I said no, he called me a 'fucking bitch'.
Yeah, I could never be a greeter, since I probably would have cursed right back at the brat! :)


I've seen women with sons the verge of puberty taking their sons in to the ladies room. If your kid is that old and can't stand in the hall while you take a whiz, there's a problem.

I think you hit the nail on the head.

Vito
06-20-2011, 07:31 PM
I hate all public washrooms. I never use them unless I am desperate to go.

I don't blame you. Public restrooms usually are pretty nasty. :e2thud:

The problem is, most little boys can't "hold it" for very long when they need to take a whizz. They usually do the Pee Pee Dance for a minute or two, then they grab their private parts and make a run for the nearest restroom. I've seen it happen, many many times. Used to do it myself when I was a kid, and I'd do it again today if I could get away with it. It's a "thrill of the chase" kind of thing, I guess.

Don Allen
06-20-2011, 07:56 PM
I don't blame you. Public restrooms usually are pretty nasty. :e2thud:

The problem is, most little boys can't "hold it" for very long when they need to take a whizz. They usually do the Pee Pee Dance for a minute or two, then they grab their private parts and make a run for the nearest restroom. I've seen it happen, many many times. Used to do it myself when I was a kid, and I'd do it again today if I could get away with it. It's a "thrill of the chase" kind of thing, I guess.


Are we getting off topic, just wondering :Shrug:

Alpha Echo
06-20-2011, 08:09 PM
I think if my husband had the Little One somewhere without me, (she's 7), he'd wait outside while she went or have her wait outside the men's room while he went. If at a gas station or some place a little sketchy, he may lock her up in the truck while he went, and he'd probably take her into the men's room to go so he could help her stay off the seat.

But I'm usually there, and we always go to the bathroom together.

I've seen older boys in the women's room, but they're usually more embarrassed by it than any of the women. I've never seen the boys running around, peeking beneath stall doors. As has already been mentioned, that's poor and/or lazy parenting.

Cella
06-20-2011, 08:52 PM
better safe than sorry and just let 'em go in the middle of an aisle somewhere...

:rolleyes:

robeiae
06-20-2011, 08:59 PM
Children or husbands?

Cella
06-20-2011, 09:05 PM
Depends on how many wipes are in the diaper bag...

Perks
06-20-2011, 09:09 PM
For a good (or likely bad) derail, I am related, by marriage, to Bob Evans.

And I think there's something wrong with an eight year old who doesn't know not to peer through the door gaps and under the stall door. That's not normal.

And any father who would let his daughter skip thru the loo needs his head examined, but he was probably in a bind when the little one was desperate to go. He definitely should have made his apologies to any other man who came in to use the facilities while his girls had taken it over. It's a lot easier to be understanding when you're not left bewildered.

brainstorm77
06-20-2011, 09:15 PM
better safe than sorry and just let 'em go in the middle of an isle somewhere...

:rolleyes:

That's an idear LOL

amlptj
06-20-2011, 09:18 PM
Just stumbled upon this thread... I just had an encounter like this at a movie theater. There was a mom with two boys in the bathroom. One had to be at the least 10, the other about 7 or 8. I understand taking in little boys say up to 7 but other then that and I just feel uncomfortable.

As for little girls going into a mens room. Well i'm not a guy so i've never seen that but i would imagine that is not a good place for little girls to be. I've actually had an experience at a mall a few years ago (i was 15) when a father asked me if i could keep an eye on his little girl (who was about 6) when she went into the bathroom the same time I was. I thought that was a good approch to take for a father... but i guess with the way people are these days you can never be too careful.

I'm not a parent so I guess I cant understand the need to protect your kid. And i guess theres no way to really feel safe with your kids alone at public restrooms. I did while i was in Disney World see a few bathrooms that were called "Companion rooms" in which mothers with small boys and Fathers with small girls could use without making others feel awkward.... I think that is a good system!

tjwriter
06-20-2011, 09:21 PM
With a kindergartener, a preschooler, and an infant, it can be pretty tricky trying to haul everyone in to use the restroom.

I try to hit up the family restroom if I can. If not, I will send the 5 yr old in and stand guard outside the door. If it becomes a situation where I have to take everyone inside, I use the handicap stall where I can put everyone in the same stall with me and no running around.

CheekyWench
06-20-2011, 09:23 PM
Yeah, more "family restrooms" are cropping up, so you can take the whole clan with you needed.

Dh takes my 4 year old with him to the men's restroom but he's usually peeks in to make sure she doesn't get a free show - and if there's someone standing around, he covers her eyes. She giggles. No biggie.

tjwriter
06-20-2011, 09:24 PM
Oh, and I meant to add that an 8 year old should know better and that mother should have busted his butt for acting that way. Seriously. Parenting FAIL.

StoryG27
06-20-2011, 09:32 PM
Curious, no one else seems to have had a situation like this? Maybe we've just been unlucky...
I have a bladder the size of a sweet pea, so I've used many public restrooms and have never once had a child peeking under the door. We have had the debate ourselves about taking kids in to the restroom with us. My husband had no choice but to take my daughter in with him once (she was two). Normally, I have the kids and I've forced my son to go in to bathrooms with me. He didn't want to after about the age of four, but I made him. Trust me, he was more miserable and uncomfortable than any woman in the restroom. At about five, I'd let him use the men's room while I waited, but I couldn't very well leave a 5,6,7 or even 8 yr old to wait while I went in, where I would not be able to see or hear him. Sorry if that makes people uncomfortable, but I'm not chancing getting him kidnapped while I pee. Of course, if it was a place that I felt was well watched, he could wait outside, but otherwise, not until he was nine or so. I still get nervous and he's 12 (don't worry, he hasn't seen the inside of a woman's restroom in over 3 yrs).


I've seen older boys in the women's room, but they're usually more embarrassed by it than any of the women.
Yeah, this has pretty much been my experience.

better safe than sorry and just let 'em go in the middle of an isle somewhere...

:rolleyes:
Genius!

Vito
06-20-2011, 10:29 PM
Are we getting off topic, just wondering :Shrug:

Sorry, Don...my bad. :e2bummed:

backslashbaby
06-21-2011, 12:07 AM
I've seen older kids in there, but I really don't care. I would have said something to the kid for the stall-peeking, though. I only wouldn't yell in case he had disabilities. I'd still make it clear that it was inappropriate. No harm in that, I don't think.

I can't decide on the urinal one, other than the men's comfort, of course. Certainly an older girl shouldn't be in there! She could go in the ladies' whether she had to pee or not, lol.

Mr Flibble
06-21-2011, 12:25 AM
I've been known to use the men's, more than once.

What? I mean, when you're at a concert or something the queue for the ladies is HUGE and the one for the guys isn't sooo...Same for a busy night at the pub, or like that time at Disney when the ladies was out of action. *

I in no way do it for the amusement value of men squealing like girls.

I don't peer under doors/over shoulders though. :D



* I always announce myself before I go in. Gives 'em time to put anything away.

veinglory
06-21-2011, 12:49 AM
I've been known to use the men's, more than once.

Ditto. When you gotta go....

Vince524
06-21-2011, 01:06 AM
W/o reading throught the thread, here's my take.

It depends to a certain extent on the child. Some are more mature than others and such. However, as a rule, yes at about 7ish I would let my kids go in on their own. (I have 2 daughters, same age as each other.) However, I'd wait outside.

Now we let them go on their own, as long as it's not too far away. Like we went out to eat yesterday and a resturant, small enough. The bathroom wasn't in sight, but it was just around the corner. My daughter went on her own. If we were in a wallmart super store, I would still go with them becuase the store is too big. Although I think even that be getting to the point of changing.

And if the little tyke was looking under stalls, clearly he shouldn't be in the ladies room. And if the parents were in there with him, why weren't they kicking him in the butt?

Cella
06-21-2011, 01:09 AM
I've been known to use the men's, more than once.

What? I mean, when you're at a concert or something the queue for the ladies is HUGE and the one for the guys isn't sooo...Same for a busy night at the pub, or like that time at Disney when the ladies was out of action. *

I in no way do it for the amusement value of men squealing like girls.

I don't peer under doors/over shoulders though. :D



* I always announce myself before I go in. Gives 'em time to put anything away.
yep, me too.

*this is a good idea.

Don Allen
06-21-2011, 01:12 AM
About 10 years ago, I was at Chicagofest, and we strayed downtown on a Saturday where most of the businesses are closed. Naturally I was busting at the seems and ended up waiting in line with about 200 people at a McDonalds. Well, by the time it was my turn, I was pretty much ready to explode from both ends (No more details Brainstorm) anyway's I got my seat dropped trow when the door burst open and this teenage girl came in and slammed the door behind her while everyone else in line just gawked.

So, she turns to me and says, "I'm sorry but I couldn't. I was pissed, pissing, and craping all at the same time. "WTF!" I yelled at her".

Instantly my stall door opened again, and a security guard grabbed her by the hair and dragged her out of the stall,,,, Then he pops his head back in and apologizes to me....

Of course everyone cheered as i left, mostly because they wanted my seat I think, but it was definitely the single worst public bathroom experience I ever encountered....

COchick
06-21-2011, 01:40 AM
So what about adults behaving badly in restrooms?

We belong to a gym that has locker rooms for men and women (no one under 13 allowed) and locker rooms for families(split in to boys and girls, and a few separate rooms for families). So we took the kids swimming the other day, and my husband takes the boys in to the family/boys locker room to use the facilities before getting in the pool.

And there's a naked man in there, holding his--er, MAN PARTS beneath the hand drier, giving it the ol' fluff and dry. And there are no kids in there with him, so really, he shouldn't be in there. So my husband hustles the boys out of there and tells the manager, but not before my oldest starts making jokes about roasted wieners.

Sigh.

brainstorm77
06-21-2011, 02:27 AM
About 10 years ago, I was at Chicagofest, and we strayed downtown on a Saturday where most of the businesses are closed. Naturally I was busting at the seems and ended up waiting in line with about 200 people at a McDonalds. Well, by the time it was my turn, I was pretty much ready to explode from both ends (No more details Brainstorm) anyway's I got my seat dropped trow when the door burst open and this teenage girl came in and slammed the door behind her while everyone else in line just gawked.

So, she turns to me and says, "I'm sorry but I couldn't. I was pissed, pissing, and craping all at the same time. "WTF!" I yelled at her".

Instantly my stall door opened again, and a security guard grabbed her by the hair and dragged her out of the stall,,,, Then he pops his head back in and apologizes to me....

Of course everyone cheered as i left, mostly because they wanted my seat I think, but it was definitely the single worst public bathroom experience I ever encountered....

This just makes me NEVER want to EVER venture into a public washroom again!

Don Allen
06-21-2011, 02:36 AM
This just makes me NEVER want to EVER venture into a public washroom again!


LOL,,, on this we agree....

Fruitbat
06-21-2011, 02:39 AM
There were several in which the boy stuck his head under one.

ROFL! I took mine with me until maybe 7 or 8 (don't remember exactly but do remember at the time feeling like the last one to let them go without me).

I agree with the ones who say concern about molesters trumps concern about courtesy.

However, I see the problems here not really because of the age of the children but because the parents are not properly supervising their children.

rhymegirl
06-21-2011, 02:48 AM
I honestly can't remember how old my boys were when I let them go into the Men's Room alone. But I'm sure that even if it made me nervous, I just waited outside the door for them to finish.



Any little face that comes under the stall door while I'm in it will get a swift kick in the nose. That could teach him the control his mother did not/

And I really like this answer. No kid should be looking under the stall door. That is totally rude and inappropriate and kids should be taught that.

brainstorm77
06-21-2011, 03:04 AM
LOL,,, on this we agree....

I agreed with you the first time once I knew the kid was looking under the stalls. I most certainly wouldn't appreciate it.

Caitlin Black
06-21-2011, 03:09 AM
I don't have much experience with this issue. I don't have kids.

However, I know I had reached a pretty conscious age of childhood, noticing girls for the first time (so probably around 8 or 9) when mum and I were shopping, and she needed to pee. She made me go in with her and just stand around. I was totally uncomfortable, and stared at the wall. So I told her I didn't want to have to do that anymore, and she said, "Okay."

Apart from that, my only experiences are with kids coming into the men's room. This doesn't happen often at my local shopping centre, as there is a Family Washroom by one set of toilets and Disabled Stalls at all the sets of toilets, all separate entries.

Generally there'll just be a man with his toddler/slightly older son with him, using one of the stalls, if there are any young kids in there at all.

Although one time there was a woman of about 30 with a small boy who was just leaving the Men's Room as I was entering it. Surely the small boy could've gone with her into the Women's Room and not the other way round?

I remarked about this to some women I knew, and nearly all of them said that they used the Men's Room whenever there was a big line in the Women's.

/ramble

Vince524
06-21-2011, 03:11 AM
* I always announce myself before I go in. Gives 'em time to put anything away.

Just an FYI, it doesn't always work that way. It's not like a hose that you can just shut off the valve. In fact, it might make some dudes panic, try and stop and just pee all over themselves.

Caitlin Black
06-21-2011, 03:13 AM
Just an FYI, it doesn't always work that way. It's not like a hose that you can just shut off the valve. In fact, it might make some dudes panic, try and stop and just pee all over themselves.

Agreed. I don't even like peeing while standing next to another guy. I'm not sure what I'd do if a woman just walked on in.

Generally if there are other people using the urinals, I'll just use a stall.

/sharing

Mr Flibble
06-21-2011, 03:20 AM
Just an FYI, it doesn't always work that way. It's not like a hose that you can just shut off the valve. In fact, it might make some dudes panic, try and stop and just pee all over themselves.

I do give them time to sort 'emsleves out.

Unless I know them and want to wind them up :D Plus pelvic floor exercises are not just for women.

Vince524
06-21-2011, 04:09 AM
I do give them time to sort 'emsleves out.

Unless I know them and want to wind them up :D Plus pelvic floor exercises are not just for women.


Won't work. Once it starts, I can't stop when in full stream. I can hold it a long time if needed, but not once I start. And if you surprised me, well.... Let's just say I wouldn't be held responsible for your shoes. Or pants. Or.... well, you get the idea, right?

Guardian
06-21-2011, 04:45 AM
I think that by 8, the average kid should be able to go into their restroom while the parent waits outside.

If anyone peeked at me while I was in a stall, I would have a fit. The trouble is, sometimes the parents get so defensive over their precious children, even if the child is a spoiled brat. It's too easy these days for a kid to think they have no accountability for their actions. Worse is when they seem to recognize that and exploit it.

Silver King
06-21-2011, 05:17 AM
By the time my kids were four years old (one female and three males), they could easily navigate public restrooms in restaurants without any help. They'd been raised early on (before the age of two) to use the toilet and wipe their own asses. I'd stay within earshot while they used public facilities but never recall any of them having a problem that required immediate attention.

On a somewhat related note, I asked my daughter recently when she was going to start potty-training her son, who is nearly thirty months old now. She told me that he's not ready yet.

I said, "Ready for what?"

"Well, you know. He doesn't want to us the potty, so I'm not going to force him."

And that child, I imagine, will still be following his mommy into public restrooms when he's eight or nine years old.

backslashbaby
06-21-2011, 05:23 AM
I had a male (adult) peeper at Panera. It takes a second to figure out what the hell is going on. I thought someone (a woman) was getting on the floor because they were about to puke, actually.

Anyway, the management couldn't figure out what to do. I wanted a free latte, dammit. No, I didn't ask ;)

The dude was long gone, btw. So strange. He was terrified when I yelled something (I think I said 'Hello???' Hey, it was all very fast!). That's odd that he was so freaked, too, I think. What did he expect? Of course I'm going to yell at him :ROFL:

Don Allen
06-21-2011, 05:27 AM
By the time my kids were four years old (one female and three males), they could easily navigate public restrooms in restaurants without any help. They'd been raised early on (before the age of two) to use the toilet and wipe their own asses. I'd stay within earshot while they used public facilities but never recall any of them having a problem that required immediate attention.

On a somewhat related note, I asked my daughter recently when she was going to start potty-training her son, who is nearly thirty months old now. She told me that he's not ready yet.

I said, "Ready for what?"

"Well, you know. He doesn't want to us the potty, so I'm not going to force him."

And that child, I imagine, will still be following his mommy into public restrooms when he's eight or nine years old.


Sorry S.K. I love the sarcasm here, made me think of my son and his wife,,, all we can do is frown and walk away..... I feel your pain, lol...

mccardey
06-21-2011, 05:28 AM
An 8 year old boy in the women's room, to me seems wrong, but in today's world, who knows?

Any thoughts???

My immediate thought is that an eight-year-old boy who needs to be brought into a women's toilet AND peers under the door at women on the loo probably has some kind of developmental issue that isn't readily apparent to strangers. I'd probably tend to be kinder to his mother than anything else on the basis that she has bigger problems than I'll ever know.

Don Allen
06-21-2011, 05:30 AM
I'm actually quite proud of this thread. This is the first time I've brought a conversation into the shitter without Mac giving me the proverbial peepe whacking..

rhymegirl
06-21-2011, 05:37 AM
I'm actually quite proud of this thread. This is the first time I've brought a conversation into the shitter without Mac giving me the proverbial peepe whacking..

Actually, I think this is an interesting topic.

I asked my husband for his opinion and found we had differing viewpoints.

Cella
06-21-2011, 06:52 AM
I'd stay within earshot while they used public facilities but never recall any of them having a problem that required immediate attention.
I am all for early potty training, but I don't believe that restrooms had automatic flushers on toilets until somewhat recently. Those can understandably scare kids. Heck, I jump at them too.

:)

JimmyB27
06-21-2011, 02:00 PM
I asked my Mum, and she said that when I turn thirty in August, I'm going to have to brave the gents on my own.

heyjude
06-21-2011, 02:56 PM
My kids are 6 and 8 and if there's no other safe adult around they come in with me. They're respectful and well-behaved, but yeah, they come in. I occasionally look at the sex predator map for our area and there're WAY too many of them for me to feel comfortable letting my kids wander around a public place on their own.

brainstorm77
06-21-2011, 03:11 PM
My kids are 6 and 8 and if there's no other safe adult around they come in with me. They're respectful and well-behaved, but yeah, they come in. I occasionally look at the sex predator map for our area and there're WAY too many of them for me to feel comfortable letting my kids wander around a public place on their own.

I don't have kids but this scares the hell out of me! You can never be too careful.

Don Allen
06-21-2011, 04:01 PM
After reading these comments so far I guess the consensus really revolves around "good parenting" which I think is valid. I do think however, that a sign of good parenting would be using the utmost respect and observation of decorum when older children are brought into bathrooms of the opposite sex..

Mr Flibble
06-21-2011, 04:28 PM
I am all for early potty training, but I don't believe that restrooms had automatic flushers on toilets until somewhat recently. Those can understandably scare kids. Heck, I jump at them too.

:)

The first time we went to the US and encountered those...I think that was the first time I heard my MIL swear. Rather disconcerting if you aren't expecting it.

fourlittlebees
06-21-2011, 05:00 PM
I don't go to the bathroom when I'm out and about unless it's a dire emergency. With four kids, I send them to their respective bathrooms and wait outside for them to reassemble. And I started that as soon as oldest could help little one.

For Silver and Don... this is one of those parenting things that we younger ones do. You can "train" them much earlier, but odds are, you're training yourself to ask them all day long if they have to go and rushing them off when you think they're going to go. I had one train at 2, and one not train until 4.5, but when they did, that was it. Big-kid underwear, zero accidents. And I never spent a full day (or more) "training."

Don Allen
06-21-2011, 11:00 PM
Somewhat off topic, but since were in the toilet so to speak. My son, told me his story: "Dad you won't believe what happened today" "tell me" "I go to the doctor for the Police physical, and they told me they need a stool sample, and to bring it in tomorrow. I told them that we were in luck, it just so happened that I had to go now. So they give me a cuppy thing and told me to do my business and return it. So I decide to go into the public bathroom out in the hall and do my business. I drop the turd, stand up and turn around to retrieve it........and WHHHOOOSSSHHHH the automatic toilet flushs my sample away""""

The worst part dad, was trying to explain to the nurse what happened as she almost bust a gut trying not to laugh at me....."""


I cried when he told me I laughed so hard.... I keep trying to picture the face on that poor nurse......

mccardey
06-22-2011, 01:42 AM
For Silver and Don... this is one of those parenting things that we younger ones do. You can "train" them much earlier, but odds are, you're training yourself to ask them all day long if they have to go and rushing them off when you think they're going to go. I had one train at 2, and one not train until 4.5, but when they did, that was it. Big-kid underwear, zero accidents. And I never spent a full day (or more) "training."

In Australia, we always used to train them over a weekend during the child's second summer. No day nappies for the weekend, and as much time as possible outside with a potty of their own. I don't remember it taking more than one weekend with anyone I knew, but this was in the 1960s -1980s. It's become much more of a palaver now with the disposable nappy thing. Apparently disposable nappies are much less uncomfortable when wet ;)

Silver King
06-22-2011, 04:03 AM
My kids are 6 and 8 and if there's no other safe adult around they come in with me. They're respectful and well-behaved, but yeah, they come in...
If your kids are boys, that just seems a little too old to be following you into public restrooms. The same would be true if you were a man bringing his daughters into a men's room at that age.

(That's merely my opinion, of course, and in no way is it meant to be a reflection of how you choose to raise your children.)

...I occasionally look at the sex predator map for our area and there're WAY too many of them for me to feel comfortable letting my kids wander around a public place on their own.Statistically, most kids have a far greater chance of encountering a sex predator at a family gathering than just about anywhere else on earth.

Silver King
06-22-2011, 04:29 AM
...For Silver and Don... this is one of those parenting things that we younger ones do. You can "train" them much earlier, but odds are, you're training yourself to ask them all day long if they have to go and rushing them off when you think they're going to go. I had one train at 2, and one not train until 4.5, but when they did, that was it. Big-kid underwear, zero accidents. And I never spent a full day (or more) "training."
Again, this is only my opinion, but I can't fathom a child that is approaching five years old (barring any mental or physical impairments) who hasn't yet been toilet trained. It's simply not fair to the parents, nor the child, to have kids piss and shit themselves for that long.

With enough patience, even dogs can be housebroken in little more than a week's time.

rhymegirl
06-22-2011, 04:36 AM
It's simply not fair to the parents, nor the child, to have kids piss and shit themselves for that long.

Plus, there's the school situation. Teachers of pre-schoolers and kindergarten kids normally want them to be toilet trained before starting school. They do where I live anyways.

Fruitbat
06-22-2011, 05:44 AM
I would be very careful with young boys alone in a room where strange men have their pants down. It's an ideal place for a pervert to hang out. I think at all times your child's safety comes before what anybody might think of it.

Also, social service workers have a spike in child abuse cases at potty training time. There is no one size fits all way it goes. Some children simply aren't able to do it at whatever age anybody might think they should and that's that.

So I'd tell people to use your own judgement and err on the side of being thought to be doing things too late. Later for either of these things doesn't have any documented lasting ill effects as far as I'm aware, but too soon certainly does. JMHO of course.

mccardey
06-22-2011, 05:57 AM
I would be very careful with young boys alone in a room where strange men have their pants down. It's an ideal place for a pervert to hang out. .

No, seriously - I have trouble with the idea that child-seeking perverts hang out in public toilets with their pants down, hoping a child will appear... I know there was a bit of a belief about this some decades ago, but wasn't that overruled by the more likely view that child-seeking perverts are usually found hanging around families and looking pretty normal? Besides which I think it casts a bit of a shadow on all the perfectly nice men who use public toilets....

Fruitbat
06-22-2011, 06:02 AM
No, it doesn't cast a shadow on anyone. It is not an idea but a fact that it is a private space where strange men take their penises out and where children go unattended. Such a set up would always be a place for precautions. Just because it is what it is. As I said, JMHO.

Silver King
06-22-2011, 06:15 AM
I would be very careful with young boys alone in a room where strange men have their pants down. It's an ideal place for a pervert to hang out...
I've used public restrooms most of my life, hundreds of times in a number of states and countries, and never once did I ever see young boys treated any differently than anyone else. They walk in, take a wizz or a crap, or both, then leave.

The mere suggestion of "I would be careful with young boys alone in a room where strange men have their pants down" is absurd. And it plays exactly into the unfounded fears that parents have of allowing their children to use public restrooms.

Can it happen? Can your boy or girl be accosted by some dick-wielding sex predator in a public restroom? Sure it can, but the chances are so remote that you'd have a better chance of being hit on the head with a meteorite and winning the state lottery on the same day.

lachel
06-22-2011, 06:20 AM
If an 8 year old is "running around" a bathroom and putting his head underneath stalls, I would assume that he is developmentally delayed. A neurotypical child of that age would most likely be embarrassed to be in the "wrong sex" bathroom: that's a social convention strongly ingrained pretty much as soon as a child is school aged.

If the child can't control himself for that long, why on earth would you think the better option would be for his mother to leave him alone out in the restaurant?

I'm really surprised everyone is jumping to "bad parenting!" I'm sorry, I know I'm new here and all, but it's really sad just how quick people are to judge parents. It didn't occur to anyone that the behavior this child is exhibiting would be a prime reason NOT to leave him unsupervised, and that when a child is exhibiting behavior very inappropriate for his age it might actually be something other than his mother's fault?

mccardey
06-22-2011, 06:21 AM
Can your boy or girl be accosted by some dick-wielding sex predator in a public restroom? Sure it can, but the chances are so remote that you'd have a better chance of being hit on the head with a meteorite and winning the state lottery on the same day.

Not to derail, but I read that as "duck-wielding". Twice. I was starting to think that the whole paedophile issue had moved into a really weird place over the last few years....

mccardey
06-22-2011, 06:27 AM
I'm really surprised everyone is jumping to "bad parenting!" I'm sorry, I know I'm new here and all, but's really sad just how quick people are to judge parents. It didn't occur to anyone that the behavior this child is exhibiting would be a prime reason NOT to leave him unsupervised, and that when a child is exhibiting behavior very inappropriate for his age it might actually be something other than his mother's fault?

Ahem

And on behalf of all parents of non-typical children :Hug2:

lachel
06-22-2011, 06:30 AM
Ahem

;)

I managed to miss your comment the first time round, sorry :)

But, yeah. It's really upsetting to me that it took 3 pages of people criticizing the mother before anyone brought this up, even though it seems like a pretty obvious explanation.

Lyra Jean
06-22-2011, 06:34 AM
I work at Walmart where there are family bathrooms plus a Men's Room and a Ladies' room. Whenever I'm in the ladies room and a woman is there with her children she is either in the handicap stall with all of them or the children are in individual stalls right next to each other and the woman is standing outside the stalls.

The only time I've had it where the children were running around the bathroom is because there were two adults and one was in the stall and the other adult or older child is just not watching the younger one.

veinglory
06-22-2011, 06:37 AM
I see people saying the child's conduct is the mother's responsibility not the mother's "fault" (i.e. that she "caused it"). IMHO it is the mother's responsibility to do her best not to let a child repeatedly stick his head into toilet stalls occupied by random members of the public. That may not be simple to do with some kids, but who else is responsible for not letting the kid get himself in trouble?

Fruitbat
06-22-2011, 06:59 AM
I've used public restrooms most of my life, hundreds of times in a number of states and countries, and never once did I ever see young boys treated any differently than anyone else. They walk in, take a wizz or a crap, or both, then leave.


The mere suggestion of "I would be careful with young boys alone in a room where strange men have their pants down" is absurd. And it plays exactly into the unfounded fears that parents have of allowing their children to use public restrooms.

Can it happen? Can your boy or girl be accosted by some dick-wielding sex predator in a public restroom? Sure it can, but the chances are so remote that you'd have a better chance of being hit on the head with a meteorite and winning the state lottery on the same day.

I do not think my post was "absurd" or feeding into any "unfounded" fear at all, actually, but basic good sense.

As I said, JMHO, and I hope that made it clear that I was expressing my perception of it while still respecting that others' opinions may also have some validity. I would not want to do otherwise unless it was a topic on which I had considerable expertise.

A quick google search here shows plenty of crimes of this type and plenty of reasonable parents who take precautions... I'm glad you personally never encountered a problem with it, but I have. Many of us have never experience molestation, rape, or other sexual or other crimes but that has no bearing on how often or under what circumstances they actually occur.

I hope parents will err on the side of safety. Certain situations and locations absolutely are more dangerous than others. Wherever you have more opportunity for a particular type of crime, you will have more of that type of crime. I think that is again, a basic fact and not an inflammatory opinion.

http://www.google.com/search?q=boys+and+public+restrooms&rls=com.microsoft:en-us&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&startIndex=&startPage=1&rlz=1I7ADSA_en (http://www.google.com/search?q=boys+and+public+restrooms&rls=com.microsoft:en-us&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&startIndex=&startPage=1&rlz=1I7ADSA_en)


Veinglory, I agree with you. I'm sure people would cut the mother some slack if she had to use the restroom and that child had problems, but still, the parent is responsible for the child's behavior. Don't we all also run into so many who just have wild kids because they don't discipline them.

mccardey
06-22-2011, 07:04 AM
I see people saying the child's conduct is the mother's responsibility not the mother's "fault" (i.e. that she "caused it"). IMHO it is the mother's responsibility to do her best not to let a child repeatedly stick his head into toilet stalls occupied by random members of the public. That may not be simple to do with some kids, but who else is responsible for not letting the kid get himself in trouble?

Well, I don't have a non-neuro-typical child myself, but if I did I imagine I'd be so upset by the tone of this discussion (which includes the suggestion that kicking the child in the face would be an appropriate response) that the issue of whether this was my fault or merely my responsibilty might just bypass me entirely.

For what it's worth, if a child poked his head under the stall while I was in there, I think I'd say "shoo!"

And now I'm feeling so cross I'll go and make a cup of tea...

heyjude
06-22-2011, 03:25 PM
Statistically, most kids have a far greater chance of encountering a sex predator at a family gathering than just about anywhere else on earth.

True, but then there are images like this one (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJoID7VwRtM), burned indelibly in my brain. We were here when she disappeared and when her little body was found. We grieved with this town, even though we didn't know her. I've never been able to erase this image from my mind.

At 6 my boy is getting a bit old for coming in with me. We're going to have to work that out.

Don Allen
06-22-2011, 05:55 PM
Just to clarify,, The 8year old in question, (according to my wife) was being a brat to mom and mom seemed disinterested in making the child obey. There was no external obvious evidence of mental deficiency, mostly just a poorly behaved little boy who needed a slap on the ass....

tjwriter
06-22-2011, 06:08 PM
But if I had been that mother, child with an issue or not, and that child was doing this, I would a) be apologizing for my child's behavior profusely to all and b) dragging my child away so that he would physically be unable to to continue such behavior. That seems like an obvious response and I've received no impression this mother did that, so Parenting FAIL.

Don Allen
06-22-2011, 06:14 PM
But if I had been that mother, child with an issue or not, and that child was doing this, I would a) be apologizing for my child's behavior profusely to all and b) dragging my child away so that he would physically be unable to to continue such behavior. That seems like an obvious response and I've received no impression this mother did that, so Parenting FAIL.


No, you are correct. And from my wife's perspective, stalls or not, she felt the boy was too old to be in the ladies room. She said, "it just made me uncomfortable, he seemed to relish the idea a bit much, and it made her feel creepy.

Now obviously one experience shouldn't be used to draw a conclusion, but I do agree with Silver King that at a certain point, (sooner than later) a child needs to take that big step and wipe their own ass with the big boys and big girls... again, as stipulated, JMHO.....

tjwriter
06-22-2011, 06:24 PM
No, you are correct. And from my wife's perspective, stalls or not, she felt the boy was too old to be in the ladies room. She said, "it just made me uncomfortable, he seemed to relish the idea a bit much, and it made her feel creepy.

Now obviously one experience shouldn't be used to draw a conclusion, but I do agree with Silver King that at a certain point, (sooner than later) a child needs to take that big step and wipe their own ass with the big boys and big girls... again, as stipulated, JMHO.....
And I'm seeing two different things going on here, what with what SK posted and all.

I would expect to be able to send my 8 yr old into the bathroom to use it by himself. No problem.

I can see however, how a mother could be uncomfortable leaving her son hanging outside the bathroom while she had to go use it. In a perfect world, a mother wouldn't feel threatened by the thought of her child being by himself in a store, but it doesn't always work that way.

It really depends of the place where I am how I feel about that. Some bathrooms, such as our local mall here, are down an empty hallway where there are not even mall employees around to see what's going on. Other places, there are safe people swarming all over the place.

Don Allen
06-22-2011, 07:16 PM
And I'm seeing two different things going on here, what with what SK posted and all.

I would expect to be able to send my 8 yr old into the bathroom to use it by himself. No problem.

I can see however, how a mother could be uncomfortable leaving her son hanging outside the bathroom while she had to go use it. In a perfect world, a mother wouldn't feel threatened by the thought of her child being by himself in a store, but it doesn't always work that way.



Actually, I think your point here might be the most valid, of all the arguments presented. The child left outside is probably much more susceptible to danger of some sort than the child inside the washroom.

But again, there is only so much a prudent person can do to keep their children safe, and the interesting thing about that was brought up on a program I seen some time back.

A child molester was asked how he picked his victims, and in every case the answer was, "by the lack of supervision" from the child's parents.

So, a parent that instructs their child to wait by a bathroom door and scream bloody murder if anyone comes near, IMO should be pretty safe.

I know someone's going to google a story to prove me wrong, but hey, you can only protect them so much, right?