View Full Version : I Need A Better Fortune Cookie Fortune!

Kitty Pryde
06-17-2011, 08:24 AM
We had some chinese food delivery last night, and it came with The Most Bogus Fortune Cookies EVER. In place of a fortune was A FREAKIN ADVERTISEMENT that read "CRAPPY COOKIE-USURPING AIRLINES now serves 10 new destinations from LAX, including Shanghai, non-stop." W. T. F. Is the world coming to??? On the back, I am urged to visit Crap Airlines' website and enter a giveaway. So much rage! People. A fortune cookie must contain a FORTUNE, and at the most some lucky numbers or a Mandarin vocab word.

You're all writers! Please help: write me a proper cookie fortune!

06-17-2011, 08:36 AM


Caitlin Black
06-17-2011, 09:39 AM
"Beware the snake in your midst. Try our new Anti-Venom Cocktail today!"

06-17-2011, 04:38 PM

06-17-2011, 05:30 PM
Increasingly I find fortunes have been supplanted with bromides. I don't want some wise saying, I want the future predicted, damn it!

Maryn, who rarely gets take-out

Chris P
06-17-2011, 05:41 PM
"You are somewhat less hungry than you were 30 minutes ago."

Wow, do they know me or WHAT?

Jess Haines
06-18-2011, 12:00 AM
Best one I ever got:

"Don't kiss an elephant on the lips today."

...as opposed to tomorrow? :crazy:

06-18-2011, 12:05 AM

06-18-2011, 12:18 AM
I remember one which told me I would meet a dark handsome stranger and fall madly in love. I laughed my head off at this one because I was and am happily married. A week later I came home from work and there the dark handsome stranger was on the deck. Sidhe the cat.

06-18-2011, 12:39 AM
I got one about 10 years ago which said "Help! I'm trapped in a fortune cookie factory!", which I assumed was a one-off joke, til I saw someone get that on a TV show a few months ago. One I got recently was "Luck will come to you some time in the future". Hmmm.

06-18-2011, 12:42 AM
"You will read a small piece of paper today."

06-18-2011, 02:32 AM
"Go to Crap Airline's Website - receive many more cookies."

06-18-2011, 03:09 AM
"You will have many novels and become famous...when your dead."

Caitlin Black
06-18-2011, 04:19 AM
"Tomorrow's Lotto Numbers are: 5, 14, 23, 26, 31 and 42. Unfortunately, this Fortune Cookie is a month old."