I Need A Better Fortune Cookie Fortune!

Kitty Pryde · Jun 16, 2011

We had some chinese food delivery last night, and it came with The Most Bogus Fortune Cookies EVER. In place of a fortune was A FREAKIN ADVERTISEMENT that read "CRAPPY COOKIE-USURPING AIRLINES now serves 10 new destinations from LAX, including Shanghai, non-stop." W. T. F. Is the world coming to??? On the back, I am urged to visit Crap Airlines' website and enter a giveaway. So much rage! People. A fortune cookie must contain a FORTUNE, and at the most some lucky numbers or a Mandarin vocab word.

You're all writers! Please help: write me a proper cookie fortune!

Guardian · Jun 16, 2011

Caitlin Black · Jun 16, 2011

"Beware the snake in your midst. Try our new Anti-Venom Cocktail today!"

regdog · Jun 17, 2011

Maryn · Jun 17, 2011

Increasingly I find fortunes have been supplanted with bromides. I don't want some wise saying, I want the future predicted, damn it!

Maryn, who rarely gets take-out

Chris P · Jun 17, 2011

"You are somewhat less hungry than you were 30 minutes ago."

Wow, do they know me or WHAT?

Jess Haines · Jun 17, 2011

Best one I ever got:

"Don't kiss an elephant on the lips today."

...as opposed to tomorrow? :crazy:

Haggis · Jun 17, 2011

Komnena · Jun 17, 2011

I remember one which told me I would meet a dark handsome stranger and fall madly in love. I laughed my head off at this one because I was and am happily married. A week later I came home from work and there the dark handsome stranger was on the deck. Sidhe the cat.

C.J.Lindsay · Jun 17, 2011

I got one about 10 years ago which said "Help! I'm trapped in a fortune cookie factory!", which I assumed was a one-off joke, til I saw someone get that on a TV show a few months ago. One I got recently was "Luck will come to you some time in the future". Hmmm.

MattW · Jun 17, 2011

"You will read a small piece of paper today."

GailD · Jun 17, 2011

"Go to Crap Airline's Website - receive many more cookies."

Undercover · Jun 17, 2011

"You will have many novels and become famous...when your dead."

Caitlin Black · Jun 17, 2011

"Tomorrow's Lotto Numbers are: 5, 14, 23, 26, 31 and 42. Unfortunately, this Fortune Cookie is a month old."

I Need A Better Fortune Cookie Fortune!

Kitty Pryde

i luv you giant bear statue

Guardian

just the worst honestly

Caitlin Black

Wild one

regdog

The Scavengers

Maryn

Baaa!

Chris P

Likes metaphors mixed, not stirred

Jess Haines

Boldly going nowhere in particular.

Haggis

Evil, undead Chihuahua

Komnena

In Honor of Peter Tomich,USS Utah

C.J.Lindsay

figuring it all out

MattW

Company Man

GailD

Still chasing plot bunnies.

Undercover

I got it covered

Caitlin Black

Wild one