Okay, I'm not much for reality tv. I get more than enough unscripted drama, I don't need a peephole into other people's. Still, my mum and dad have a real hard on for camera crews sliding down the rabbit hole, returning bearing wackos of all freakish stripe and unseemly feather. So, in order to bond with my brood, I watch with them. I'm bored out of my cavernous gourd, yes, but it's family time, it's supposed to be tedious.
Except for tonight, when I watched "Trading Spouses: Meet Your New Mommy," where they featured A) this retro-Cher hypnotherapist and B) that fat lady from "What's Eating Gilbert Grape?" only channeling the personality of a rabid Hampshire hog.
Good Lord: "EVERYTHING'S UNGODLY! NOW GET THE F**K OUT OF MY HOUSE, IN JESUS CHRIST'S NAME, AMEN!"
I mean, from that chasm between her upper incisors to the ultraconservativeness to that walk-out on the poor gay clairvoyant during the radio broadcast of "Love, USA" to the bout of vomiting in the yard (the highlight for my perpetually motion-sick mommy): Ugh! What a repulsing personality!
And how about all those grimly-pious gargoyles giving that innocent, good-hearted pagan lady the third degree.
Unrighteous tag team by the righteous right!
And this episode's a two-parter! I can't wait to see the climactic volcanic blast!
Kaboomsky!
Except for tonight, when I watched "Trading Spouses: Meet Your New Mommy," where they featured A) this retro-Cher hypnotherapist and B) that fat lady from "What's Eating Gilbert Grape?" only channeling the personality of a rabid Hampshire hog.
Good Lord: "EVERYTHING'S UNGODLY! NOW GET THE F**K OUT OF MY HOUSE, IN JESUS CHRIST'S NAME, AMEN!"
I mean, from that chasm between her upper incisors to the ultraconservativeness to that walk-out on the poor gay clairvoyant during the radio broadcast of "Love, USA" to the bout of vomiting in the yard (the highlight for my perpetually motion-sick mommy): Ugh! What a repulsing personality!
And how about all those grimly-pious gargoyles giving that innocent, good-hearted pagan lady the third degree.
Unrighteous tag team by the righteous right!
And this episode's a two-parter! I can't wait to see the climactic volcanic blast!
Kaboomsky!