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mirandashell
06-08-2011, 09:48 PM
.... survive high school?

I saw an advert today about a website called 'It does get better.' I got the impression that it's for gay high school students and has loads of people, including some celebs, saying that life will get better after high school and they have to tough it out.

This got me thinking. I've seen so many films, books, dramas etc about how horrible high school is. How much bullying goes on.

This got me thinking....

Did anyone on this board actually enjoy high school?

regdog
06-08-2011, 09:52 PM
:hi: I did. It's been awhile since high school, but I had a good time

Wayne K
06-08-2011, 09:52 PM
I didn't finish 8th grade

veinglory
06-08-2011, 09:53 PM
High school can be hell, and not just in the US.

alleycat
06-08-2011, 09:54 PM
Did you ever watch My So-Called Life?

In one of the first episodes the main character is joining the yearbook staff (or being forced to). As she's meeting with the yearbook faculty adviser there is a voice-over (paraphrased, since I don't remember it exactly): "What do they even do yearbooks? If people really remembered high school the last thing they'd want to do is make a record of it."

There are some good things about high school, but it's a difficult time for most kids. It's not just the school, they are starting to become adults, but not quite, and without the freedom they think they deserve. I remember thinking that my life would be perfect once I got my driver's license and a car . . . that way I could get away from those pesky, demanding parents.

Bubastes
06-08-2011, 09:54 PM
No. To me, high school was an evil place with evil people doing evil things. Extracurricular activities with kids from other schools saved my sanity.

Guardian
06-08-2011, 09:54 PM
Yes, I loved high school.

Representation of high school on TV makes me wonder if I ever went to a "real" high school. Sure, we have fights, some drug problems, a campus officer, and kids gets suspended. We don't have gangs, though we had a couple of fake ones as a joke. Everyone seems to have somebody for a friend, except for one kid I can think of. He said stupid things and instead of owning up to it, just acted like a jerk. People tried to be nice to him, but he kept acting like a jerk. He also assaulted his girlfriend, though they are still together I think, and he probably dropped out. Too bad, but he was really a strange exception to the rule.

Kids call names, they toss around "fag" and stuff, but we really don't have a big bullying problem, at least not like TV shows. I watched a movie where some girl dumped her drink on another girl's head, etc. That would never fly.

The gay population is small, but we do well here, thankfully. At worst, there is an undercurrent feeling of anti-gay sentiments. It's discouraging, but I've never been outright harassed for being gay. I'd get all in their face first. :P

CheekyWench
06-08-2011, 09:55 PM
For me, High School wasn't as bad as Middle School.

mirandashell
06-08-2011, 10:01 PM
Ah right. I did think it was probably overstated but it does seem pretty rough.

Could someone help me out? What the ages for high school? And middle school?

I can remember not being very happy at school but that was more to do with my age. Being a teenager is tough no matter where you are.

But one thing I don't remember about school is the groupings. We didn't have jocks, geeks etc. To other people, American high school seems really cliquey. With all the attendant hassle that entails.

mirandashell
06-08-2011, 10:03 PM
And thinking about it..... is that website needed?


Edit: by asking this question, I'm not trying to say that it isn't. I'm asking if the bullying of LGBT kids in high school is really bad. I'm English, I don't know.

It is in no way a judgement.

Maxinquaye
06-08-2011, 10:04 PM
High school is Year Nine (in UK terms) to A-levels afaik. From 13 to 18 afaik.

ETA:

I think the US (like the UK) have good schools and bad schools. Some of the secondary schools my friends have had contact with (in the UK) are horror stories in their own right, for LGBT kids. Others are decent enough. THere's a strong undercurrent of homophobia in UK schools as well. 'Poof' and 'wooftah' are heard in breaks, without adults getting involved.

Guardian
06-08-2011, 10:09 PM
Let's see.... Junior High is grades 7-8

High School is grades 9-12
Freshmen, Sophomores, Juniors, and Seniors

Seniors tend to be turning 18 years old so the ages of high school would be about 15-18

Junior high is about ages 13-15

Middle school here is 5-6 so the ages would be 11-13 about
BUT middle school can also be grades 5-8 and eliminate Junior High

Elementary goes from ages 5 to 11

mscelina
06-08-2011, 10:09 PM
I loved high school, except for the fact that I wasn't a *pretty* girl and didn't have boyfriends. As soon as I went away to college that all changed and I couldn't figure out why.Then I went to a high school reunion and found out that all the guys I had crushes on were too afraid of me to ask me out.

Not sure how that happened.

I was a busy kid, though. I was racking up any and every extracurricular activity that would increase my chances of a good college. So between JCL, forensics, student council. theater, writing competitions, chess club, math team, announcing high school sporting events blah blah blah I didn't have time to be miserable. I was never bullied, although my brother was bullied pretty horrifically until he hit 6'2" and 195 lbs in his sophomore year. Then he became really popular. I was never popular, but I was respected. I wasn't part of a clique, but I had an airtight circle of friends who shared the same interests and with whom I still communicate today. All of the bullying I experienced when I was a teenager came at home.

Middle school in my part of the world was sixth grade through eighth--ages 12-14 approximately. High school started in ninth grade(freshman year) and finished with the twelfth (senior year), when most of the graduating class is eighteen. (I wasn't. I was a year younger than my class) Some parts of the country have different definitions for middle school and high school. I was actually in the first ninth grade class to be put into high school; before that, ninth grade was the last year of middle school.

Alpha Echo
06-08-2011, 10:13 PM
For me, High School wasn't as bad as Middle School.

This. Middle School was awful.

High School where I went wasn't like it is on TV though. It was mostly divided between the athletes and the brains. The athletes had their own breakdowns, though I don't know what those would be b/c that was not my group.

Then the brains split into several groups. The most popular kids who ran Student Government (and the school) were in all the AP classes. They were the ones who had the leads in the plays and musicals, they joined all the other groups like Spanish or Latin club. Then there's the smart unpopular kids like me - in the same classes and clubs and in the same musicals and plays...but running in our own little circle of friends on the outskirts of the popular kids.

We were pretty segregated racially too. I don't say this to sterotype, but it's true - there were only 2 black kids in any of the AP classes or Honors classes. The rest were athletes - and our school was not known for its sports. LOL. We sucked.

No gangs, as far as I knew. I didn't know anyone who claimed to be gay or who seemed like he/she may be. I did know a boy in middle school who was not shy about being gay and had the biggest crush on a football player. The football player took it all in stride too. It was pretty cool.

Chris P
06-08-2011, 10:13 PM
I hated high school. Life started getting better at college (university to you UKers) and has been getting better ever since. You couldn't pay me to go back to high school. Even if I could know what I know now I wouldn't go. Not for anything.

Alpha Echo
06-08-2011, 10:14 PM
Could someone help me out? What the ages for high school? And middle school?



Middle School - 11-14
High School - 14-18

veinglory
06-08-2011, 10:15 PM
And thinking about it..... is that website needed?

The youth suicide rates, especially amongst gay and lesbian kids suggests it is. You might want to look into why it was created and why people are supporting it.

I was lucky enough to have an older sister whop came back from uni and told me basically the same thing. It had a huge, huge effect one me to know that things got better after you got out of the festering bitch-pit that was my high school.

Lavern08
06-08-2011, 10:17 PM
:hi: I did. It's been awhile since high school, but I had a good time

Me too - Lurved every minute of it. :Sun:

mirandashell
06-08-2011, 10:28 PM
The youth suicide rates, especially amongst gay and lesbian kids suggests it is. You might want to look into why it was created and why people are supporting it.




I kind of thought I was.... ;):)

Being English, I hadn't really thought much about it. It was that advert that got me started. And I was on this board and there's a lot of Americans here so....

I don't remember anyone gay at school. But there probably was. Just my gaydar wasn't as refined as it is now. And it wasn't something we talked about back in the 70s.

Guardian
06-08-2011, 10:31 PM
There was a rash of gay suicides that sparked the "It Gets Better" campaign. Shouldn't have needed those suicides to start a movement, though. :(

veinglory
06-08-2011, 10:37 PM
I kind of thought I was.... ;):)



I mean on the site itself, it is all explained there.
(http://www.itgetsbetter.org/pages/about-it-gets-better-project/)
I am not American but had no trouble understanding where it came from. While I was in high schoolI saw enough kids called fag and slammed against lockers, I saw a girl with mental illness deliberately goaded into rage attacks on a daily basis, I saw a girl who disclosed she was sexually abused by her dad followed by her peers chanted 'daddy's girl' over and over--and I could go on with dozens more examples.

If you happened to go to a school that didn't tolerate that, that's great. But it is not about nationality and a lot of people were not that lucky.

Maxinquaye
06-08-2011, 10:38 PM
The problem is of course that there was just as many teen suicides a year before the "spate", and there will be as many a year from now: both in the UK and in the US. :(

mirandashell
06-08-2011, 10:48 PM
Ok, veinglory.


I wasn't actually being nationalistic, or making a judgement, or claiming that my school was better than anyone elses, or saying that bullying never happens over here.

Of course it does. I got bullied myself.

I was just curious about what American high schools are really like cos I've never experienced one.

Is that ok? Or do I have to justify myself a bit more?

And yes, I am being snarky.

Sarah Madara
06-08-2011, 10:49 PM
I have recurring nightmares where it turns out that I never completed the credits needed for high school, and unless I go back and redo it, my college and graduate degrees won't count.

I didn't think I hated it that much at the time, but my dreams say otherwise.

veinglory
06-08-2011, 10:50 PM
Well, you suggested the problem only exists in American (or the initiative is not needed at all), I pointed out that it doesn't exist only in America and is really pretty bad in a lot of places around the world. That is all. And I'm not being snarky. I had a lot of pretty traumatic experiences in high school, and that's without dealing with homophobia.

mirandashell
06-08-2011, 10:51 PM
Sounds like it, Sarah! I think your subconscious remembers things you don't. Just leave them there in the dark.

mirandashell
06-08-2011, 10:52 PM
Well, you suggested the problem only exists in American (or the initiative is not needed at all), I pointed out that it doesn't exist only in America and is really pretty bad in a lot of places around the world. That is all. And I'm not being snarky.


No I didn't! I never said that at all. Don't put words in my mouth.

Actually don't reply. This winding me up so I won't bother answering.


Jeez... you ask a simple question....

Cranky
06-08-2011, 10:56 PM
Maybe you didn't mean to suggest it, Miranda, but coupled with your thread title, and you later post asking if such an initiative was even necessary definitely lead me to believe you were asking if this was a problem specific to American high schools, and the latter question suggested that perhaps it wasn't really that bad.

If kids are killing themselves, it's certainly bad enough.

So your posts weren't coming across that way just to veinglory, for the record. Just something to note -- what we mean doesn't always come across in what we actually say, you know?

defyalllogic
06-08-2011, 10:59 PM
Degrassi (TV show set in Canada) is probably the most accurate representation of American high school life I can think of, both the good and bad aspects.

mirandashell
06-08-2011, 10:59 PM
Well ok. Maybe I should have phrased it better. But I honestly didn't mean to make it look like that. So my apologies to anyone I pissed off/made upset.

But you know what, yours was a much better way of telling me.

cray
06-08-2011, 11:00 PM
i had pulled pork for lunch.

brainstorm77
06-08-2011, 11:00 PM
I'm not American. But I did hate school. It wasn't because of bullying. I just hated being stuck inside that place for hours at a time.

brainstorm77
06-08-2011, 11:01 PM
Degrassi (TV show set in Canada) is probably the most accurate representation of American high school life I can think of, both the good and bad aspects.

Loved the 80's series and DH. Not so much now.

ETA: Bullying is univeral and seems to happen in most aspects of peoples lives. I've had it at work. It can get extremely bad.

Guardian
06-08-2011, 11:02 PM
I've wanted to kill myself many times, but not because of gay bullying. Just my input.

mirandashell
06-08-2011, 11:04 PM
I'm not American. But I did hate school. It wasn't because of bullying. I just hated being stuck inside that place for hours at a time.


Oh yeah, I remember that! Looking at the sunshine, thinking of all the things I could be doing instead of struggling with naffing quadratic equations....

defyalllogic
06-08-2011, 11:07 PM
Loved the 80's series and DH. Not so much now.

I watched Degrassi: The Next Generation (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Degrassi:_The_Next_Generation), which is still on but with characters I don't know because they cycle out (graduate).

Maryn
06-08-2011, 11:07 PM
But if the It Gets Better program stops some kids from considering suicide, even if their number is small, then for those kids, their families, and their communities, it's a huge success.

Consider all the schools where bullying anybody different is the norm, where the staff probably feels as much loathing for the gay student as the kids do, and don't step in as quickly or as often as they might to end bullying or taunting. The gay kids will, of course, hide that they're gay, each one thinking he or she is the only one. They will not realize the world has a bazillion gay men and women who are happy, productive, and loved. Their present torment seems like a life sentence. If those kids learn about It Gets Better, maybe they'll believe that It Gets freakin' Better, it really does.

My husband and I each went to a high school where the jocks ruled, kids' cruelty was tolerated more than it should be, and where anybody different hid that difference when they could, whether it was brains or sexual orientation or being Jewish. We bought a house in this school district when our kids were babies, because here, the brainy kids rule--and they're smart enough to know different is okay.

Maryn and her tasseled loafers*

*The first President Bush denigrated liberals as ACLU members wearing tasseled loafers, so I bought a pair

Amadan
06-08-2011, 11:08 PM
I have recurring nightmares where it turns out that I never completed the credits needed for high school, and unless I go back and redo it, my college and graduate degrees won't count.

I didn't think I hated it that much at the time, but my dreams say otherwise.


Is there anyone who doesn't have that dream now and then? Or the one about arriving to take a final exam and realizing you forgot to attend class all semester?


High school wasn't exactly hellish for me, but it wasn't much fun either. I've never gone to any of my reunions because most of my friends were in another grade and/or at different schools.

firedrake
06-08-2011, 11:09 PM
I hated high school. It was very cliquey. Most of the kids had known each other since elementary school and I was always a bit of an outsider. It didn't help having an ex-best friend who turned from an ugly duckling into a swan overnight who ended up dating the guys I told her I fancied.

Yeah, it sucked. So glad to get out of there.

COchick
06-08-2011, 11:10 PM
High school wasn't too bad for me, but middle school...Blah. I hit puberty pretty early, and there was a lot of pinching and teasing.

mirandashell
06-08-2011, 11:13 PM
I had the opposite problem. I hit puberty late. And the names I got called and the suggestions made don't bear thinking about.

Cranky
06-08-2011, 11:15 PM
Well ok. Maybe I should have phrased it better. But I honestly didn't mean to make it look like that. So my apologies to anyone I pissed off/made upset.

But you know what, yours was a much better way of telling me.

Well, I'm glad that was cleared up, then. I dunno about better, though. I was terribly long winded -- and I think that first sentence is a helluva run-on. *smacks own hands with grammar book* :D

That said, I think it's awful that we even have a need for such a website. I wish that things were different, that kids could *be* different, be themselves, and not be so cruelly punished for it. But I'm so glad the website and the videos are there. If it helps even one kid through a black time, then it is so worth it. It's a remarkable thing to see so many people visibly coming together and telling their stories, in hopes that it will help save someone else.

Mr Flibble
06-08-2011, 11:39 PM
Bullying isn't restricted to any one nation. But how that bullying comes out may be coloured by the culture the kids are in.






Consider all the schools where bullying anybody different is the norm, where the staff probably feels as much loathing for the gay student as the kids do, and don't step in as quickly or as often as they might to end bullying or taunting. The gay kids will, of course, hide that they're gay, each one thinking he or she is the only one. They will not realize the world has a bazillion gay men and women who are happy, productive, and loved. Their present torment seems like a life sentence. If those kids learn about It Gets Better, maybe they'll believe that It Gets freakin' Better, it really does.



Gay kids get bullied over here (and straight kids and everyone probably) but any teacher espousing any views about gays being 'wrong' or going to hell etc, would (except possibly in church schools) find themselves in a fair bit of trouble, I suspect. (For instance, last year (http://www.christian.org.uk/news/tory-teacher-warned-over-homosexuality-comments/) a teacher got a formal reprimand for saying that as a Christian he doesn't see homosexuality is the norm, though homosexuals should still have basic equal rights. He also got suspended from the Tory party) Teaching about homosexuality as a valid expression of sexuality was dealt with at the same time my kids did their basic sex ed, and it's ongoing (and this is about as Conservative an area as you can get). I suspect this would be the same in many US schools, but not in all (from what I've seen/read anyway) If a school/area/culture doesn't deal with it/think of it the same way, bullying will take different forms. It doesn't mean there won't be bullying, just that, to some extent at least, the form changes depending on the background culture.

My son got bullied about being gay (he's not) just before last Christmas, but the school stamped on that one, and hard.

KellyAssauer
06-08-2011, 11:47 PM
Did anyone on this board actually enjoy high school?

It wasn't me.
I still hate them.

and if I say anything more,
I'll start getting upset, and they're not worth my getting upset.

.

Jersey Chick
06-08-2011, 11:58 PM
I liked high school. I was one of those kids who didn't fit into a particular clique, but was friends with just about everyone anyway. There were some people I'd gladly have run over, backed up, and run over again, but there weren't many. :D

I don't remember any bullying going on, but that doesn't mean it didn't exist. There were a few kids who were different (one guy wore a kilt & combat boots all the time. He is now a very famous someone and who knows? Maybe he's still wearing that kilt and those combat boots in his spare time.) One guy didn't come out until well after high school, but no one was surprised because we all kind of suspected it and no one seemed to ever care. He was a cool guy. However, I do remember one guy getting picked on because he was barely 5' tall as a senior in high school. He was a real nice guy, whose only crime was that he was very short.

I do remember the jocks & cheerleaders thinking they ran the place, though. It was poetic justice when I went back to my tenth reunion and saw the bitchy cheerleaders (not all of them, just a select few) were already beginning to fall apart and the stuck-on-themselves jocks were going to pot. :D

Karma. It can be a bitch. :D

JimmyB27
06-09-2011, 12:21 AM
Not American, or homosexual, but I didn't enjoy grammar school one little bit.
Actually, it might have helped if I was gay - I went to a boys' school.


Also, all I know about the It Gets Better thing is that George Takei is made of win.

Mr Flibble
06-09-2011, 12:32 AM
Also, all I know about the It Gets Better thing is that George Takei is made of win.

He was awesome!

I mainly found school boring. There was one girl I kept out of teh way of, but then again so did everyone, even the lads. She was 6ft tall, built like a tank and seriously pissed off at the entire world...

Belle_91
06-09-2011, 02:37 AM
No. To me, high school was an evil place with evil people doing evil things. Extracurricular activities with kids from other schools saved my sanity.

THIS!!!!!!! My high school was terrible. We had amazing teachers, but terrible students. All of my friends went to different schools, which sucked. I was, however, the first one out of the parking lot at 2:50.

Guardian
06-09-2011, 02:42 AM
Our class really sucked, though. We did a bad job at fund raising. We lost all of the homecoming competitions, even in senior year. We lost a couple thousand with a failed comedy show (bad idea to start with, paying so much for an unknown act). We nearly were the first to have our pictures have to be printed in black and white for the yearbook.

Our class wasn't violent or particularly mean or anything. But there was such a pervading sense of crushing apathy from everyone. So much so, they should have provided prozac with the school lunch.

Belle_91
06-09-2011, 02:51 AM
Kids are cruel. I work at a camp this summer, and there's a girl who I think is 3 or 4...we'll call her Mary. There is another girl with a disability.

I was walking up the stairs and I saw Mary and the girl with the disability standing next to the camp counselor that was supposed to be looking over her. I heard Mary call the other little girl a freak.

I mean, Mary is 3-4 and she probably doesn't know that's mean, but it still really bothered me--it certainly didnt help that she peed everywhere before we went into the pool.

I wonder what Mary is going to be like when she hits high school...

rhymegirl
06-09-2011, 02:55 AM
I hated high school. If not for my English teacher in 9th and 10th grade, who knows what would have happened. He was one of the few people who was nice to me.

William Haskins
06-09-2011, 03:30 AM
kids in general are little shithead bastards (not yours, of course, they're special snowflakes). so yeah school is a cesspool of mood swings, raging hormones, runaway acne, poor hygiene, bullying, fighting, the smell of urine and body odor and math.

but the US is smart in encouraging, even enforcing, attendance at these dead-end warehouses because otherwise they'd be breaking into your homes and raping your pets.

Sarah Madara
06-09-2011, 03:44 AM
kids in general are little shithead bastards (not yours, of course, they're special snowflakes)
:roll:

I asked my mom once if it was weird that I wanted to have kids when I hate kids. She said she was the same way, and it's okay 'cause you always like your own.

Although honestly I never got the impression she liked me that much....

Mr Flibble
06-09-2011, 04:04 AM
We were all kids once, shithead bastards or not. Even Haskins. ( I dread to think)

Some people grow out of that. *shrug* Some people get stuck.

thothguard51
06-09-2011, 04:13 AM
Then I went to a high school reunion and found out that all the guys I had crushes on were too afraid of me to ask me out.



I was a geeky 9th grader/freshman and road the activity bus to a football game one Friday night. When the most beautiful girl in school got on the bus, she took the seat next to me. I kept thinking why is she sitting next and riding the activity bus, she should be with some guy who has a car.

We introduced ourselves and started chatting. I finally got the courage to ask her why she was riding the bus and not with some jock. She told me the boys were all too afraid to ask her out. (I had not considered that and her statement aloud me to relax for some odd reason. I just kept thinking, don't be geeky.)

She was a senior and we became good friends that year. But I do understand your statement about guys being to afraid to ask you out.

Me, I got famous that year just for being her friend, but that is another story...

rhymegirl
06-09-2011, 04:46 AM
I wonder what Anthony Weiner was like in high school.

Silver King
06-09-2011, 04:55 AM
I wonder what Anthony Weiner was like in high school.
He was probably voted, Most likely to succeed in politics yet throw it all away through an out-sized sense of vanity and sheer stupidity.

Sarah Madara
06-09-2011, 05:03 AM
He was probably voted, Most likely to succeed in politics yet throw it all away through an out-sized sense of vanity and sheer stupidity.

Damn, all I got was most easily embarrassed.

Ol' Fashioned Girl
06-09-2011, 05:09 AM
I wonder what Anthony Weiner was like in high school.

With a name like 'Weiner'? I'd guess he was the most picked on in every grade... unless he went to the same school as Richard Head or Peter Foskin.

Anacry
06-09-2011, 05:22 AM
I was a nerd eccentric in a town where 98% of the school were the popular type. The popular kids played basketball, had parties and did drugs (I know this because my little sister was a cool kid - but she never got into the drugs).

Middle School (Junior High) was the worst. In Grade Seven alone, people called me a Dyke because I was androgynous and teased me relentlessly for several monthes on end, I got beatup by boys on two different occasions and my English teacher threw a textbook at my head (she had anger issues and was known for this sort of thing, some poor kid got hit with a desk).

High School was tame in comparision - I didn't get beat up, people were more accepting of GBLTs. The teachers were all idiots, more concerned with being popular with the students than actually teaching us anything. I'm not kidding. The Math Teacher had us call him by his first name, eat in class and watch movies every Friday (The only one I remember was that fast car one with Nicholas Cage).

I cut class a lot to hang out in the town library. The school librarian was a crazy person, we used to call her The Book Nazi.

mscelina
06-09-2011, 05:29 AM
I was a geeky 9th grader/freshman and road the activity bus to a football game one Friday night. When the most beautiful girl in school got on the bus, she took the seat next to me. I kept thinking why is she sitting next and riding the activity bus, she should be with some guy who has a car.

We introduced ourselves and started chatting. I finally got the courage to ask her why she was riding the bus and not with some jock. She told me the boys were all too afraid to ask her out. (I had not considered that and her statement aloud me to relax for some odd reason. I just kept thinking, don't be geeky.)

She was a senior and we became good friends that year. But I do understand your statement about guys being to afraid to ask you out.

Me, I got famous that year just for being her friend, but that is another story...

I got the impression that they were more afraid of my scathing wit and huge vocabulary than anything else. By the time we were old enough to drink legally, though, they all got over it.

Bookewyrme
06-09-2011, 05:32 AM
I loved high school (though I don't particularly miss it anymore), but I went to a sort of abnormal school. On the surface it was just like any rural southern school; tiny, no funding, and not a lot of education opportunity outside of the basics required by law. However, there was one pretty important difference at my school which changed a lot of the social interactions: the Band-geeks truly ruled the school. We were the only group that consistently and publicly won awards (our football team was once featured on Jeopardy....for it's record-breaking losing-streak, and most of the other sports teams were similarly bad), and we had a fairly large band despite our small school size, so there were a comparative lot of us. Almost all of the smartest, coolest, most respected kids in our school were in band, and those who weren't hung out with the band kids.


With a name like 'Weiner'? I'd guess he was the most picked on in every grade... unless he went to the same school as Richard Head or Peter Foskin.
There was actually a girl (and her sister, but I didn't know her sister well) named Weiner in my class. I think there was an occasional snicker about her name, initiated as often as not by a joke she made herself, but I don't remember her getting teased much at all, and certainly never really picked on. She was one of the more popular kids in school.

mscelina
06-09-2011, 05:36 AM
My agent's last name is Weiner. So I can't pick on the name. Just...can't...

Jersey Chick
06-09-2011, 05:36 AM
I also found out at that 10th reunion that the kids who had been labeled as nerds were the ones who actually did stuff after graduation. Interesting stuff. I sat and talked with people that I was way too cool to talk to in high school, and they were far cooler than I thought. I'm still in contact with a lot of them and I wonder just how interesting they were back then, if I hadn't been too cool for them. :)



ETA: I used to work with a guy whose first name was Weiner. For the life of me, I can't remember what his last name was, though.

Sirion
06-09-2011, 06:07 AM
You've been watching too much television.


I could insert a tv stereotype of the English here to prove my point, but instead I will let you just think one up for yourself.

Snitchcat
06-09-2011, 07:08 AM
Hmm... you couldn't pay me enough to go back to that particular period of growing up. And if I were forced back thanks to a time portal and a cruel accident, I would bring some creative explosives with me (might include flesh bombs)...

Um... did I mention I didn't like my time in high school at all? :p

Xelebes
06-09-2011, 07:42 AM
Canadian school:

Junior High A: Hell. There were several pieces missing in the community as a whole and it showed. A person with invisible (maybe visible too) disabilities is thrown to the wolves. Epic brawls happened between the Public and Catholic schools which neighboured each other, sometimes having as much as 200-300 people involved.

Junior High B: Pretty swell. Awesome community, awesome principal. The time I left, an awful principal came in and discipline went out of whack.

High School: Probably a unique experience. The school was literally divided into two campuses and I spent equal time on both, having extra fun on the shuttle buses. Apparently you can fit 45 people in a 15 passenger van. There were groups but if you found yourself on the academic campus, the groups were less tight. On the main campus, the groups could be tighter, like with the preps.

benbradley
06-09-2011, 08:17 AM
And thinking about it..... is that website needed?
You betcha.

(woops - that's not likely to be something Palin agrees with, but whatever)

Edit: by asking this question, I'm not trying to say that it isn't. I'm asking if the bullying of LGBT kids in high school is really bad. I'm English, I don't know.

It is in no way a judgement.
Maybe I'm different, but I didn't take it as you trying to be negative or judgmental or anti-USA, just asking. Maybe it's because I'm thinking you're probably right.

It may well be worse (here) in the USA than elsewhere. I suppose you could look teen suicide statistics, and similar things, in different countries. Yes, it looks like everyone in this thread says school sucked big-time, but I know logically it's a biased sample, even though I agree 100 percent.

I hated school almost from the beginning. I hated my parents too, and that was frustrating as well because everything I was taught was you're supposed to love your parents, and I could never say I hated them. I could never really put the reasons into words for myself. Looking back, there was good reason to hate them, but this is getting into another thread. Suffice it to say I never learned social skills worth a shit, which made school substantially worse for me than other kids.

I didn't know of any gay people in high school (1970's) but I did hear some guys call others queer. I think that was just a name to call them, as far as I know none of them were actually gay. God help any of them who actually WERE.

When I got to colllege the bullying and emotional abuse stopped, but I was still left with a lack of social skills.

There was a rash of gay suicides that sparked the "It Gets Better" campaign. Shouldn't have needed those suicides to start a movement, though. :(

The problem is of course that there was just as many teen suicides a year before the "spate", and there will be as many a year from now: both in the UK and in the US. :(
What is pertinent about those gay teen suicides is that, unlike other ones at other times, they were prominently covered in the news.

You've been watching too much television.


I could insert a tv stereotype of the English here to prove my point, but instead I will let you just think one up for yourself.
"We don't need no education..."

Yeah, shitty schools are everywhere, though some places may well be worse than others.

StoryG27
06-09-2011, 08:25 AM
I was well liked by peers and teachers, athletic, got good grades, invited to all the parties, asked to all the dances (rarely went), and wasn't bullied.
And I hated high school.
To be fair, I couldn't stand teenagers even when I was one.

BenPanced
06-09-2011, 09:08 AM
.... survive high school?

I saw an advert today about a website called 'It does get better.' I got the impression that it's for gay high school students and has loads of people, including some celebs, saying that life will get better after high school and they have to tough it out.

This got me thinking. I've seen so many films, books, dramas etc about how horrible high school is. How much bullying goes on.

This got me thinking....

Did anyone on this board actually enjoy high school?
No. Speaking as one who was bullied, it was the absolute lowest ring of Hell.

akaria
06-09-2011, 09:42 AM
HS was just as bland as the town it was located. We'd moved from NYC to MD and in my teenage eyes MD just couldn't hold a candle to this Queens born girl.

I got good grades. Had many friends. Did well in my extra-curricular activities. I was really focused on getting to college because I wanted to go back to NY and that wasn't happening w/o a scholarship. A lot of these kids had grown up with each other since elementary school and carried the baggage of those years. I floated outside all that drama. I was nice to the ones that were nice to me and ignored the rest. Kinda like now.

envision
06-09-2011, 10:08 AM
And thinking about it..... is that website needed?


Edit: by asking this question, I'm not trying to say that it isn't. I'm asking if the bullying of LGBT kids in high school is really bad. I'm English, I don't know.

It is in no way a judgement.

I used to live in England and one reason why I loved England was b/c the English seemed more accepting of others, especially the homosexual community (from what I've seen). It's a different story here, especially in the Southern U.S. That website is needed like you would not believe. It's horrible how badly people are bullied for being LGBT, even in colleges! Heck, even after college people are still treated horribly for being LGBT.

Granted, my school ended up with their backs against the wall when a group of girls came out about their lesbianism. They would make out in the hallways even though the school had rules about kissing in the halls. However, they did not want to get sued by the ACLU for being anti-gay. So, they let it slide while enforcing the rules between heterosexual couples. However, the kids were horribly rude to gay guys in particular (the lesbians, not to sound stereotypical, were pretty tough ladies and were less likely to be picked on by people). So many of my male friends had to hide who they were and occasionally asked me to the dance so they could have an alibi.

And it's not just the kids either. Some of the teachers and even school board members in the U.S. are horrible when it comes to how they deal with homosexual teens. If you want to know why the "It Gets Better" campaign is needed, a great example is former Midland School District Vice President Clint McCance: http://articles.nydailynews.com/2010-10-28/news/27079562_1_school-board-member-facebook-page-support-for-gay-youth

I'm straight, but I hated school with a passion until I went to college. At my school, people were so judgmental that even the friendliest person in school had packs of enemies. There was a lot of backstabbing too. I was the quite person who sat there and did my homework, yet people still chose to pick on me. So, I grew up hating this region (luckily I wasn't born in Hillbillyland) and have very little sympathy for the kids who picked on me and ended up in low-paying jobs, unhappy relationships, etc.

Mr Flibble
06-09-2011, 02:47 PM
I could insert a tv stereotype of the English here to prove my point, but instead I will let you just think one up for yourself.

We all sit around drinking tea, being evil masterminds. We either say things like 'Jolly good show' or 'Cor blimey guv.' :D

The OP (and myself) have never been to a US high school, so we don't have much else to go on, except ask you guys. From TV you all look a lot more glamorous than our schoolkids!

seun
06-09-2011, 04:05 PM
School was fine for me. I wasn't one of the cool kids or athletic or a brain or...anything really. To be honest, most people weren't a label. We didn't really have groups along those lines.

rhymegirl
06-09-2011, 04:40 PM
To be fair, I couldn't stand teenagers even when I was one.

This is very interesting. I might have said this myself.

I was much more comfortable around adults when I was a teenager. I thought they were just so mature. I thought the teenage boys in particular were just so immature, throwing clay at each other in art class, laughing about stupid things, making fun of anyone who wasn't perfect.

defyalllogic
06-09-2011, 06:16 PM
We all sit around drinking tea, being evil masterminds. We either say things like 'Jolly good show' or 'Cor blimey guv.' :D

The OP (and myself) have never been to a US high school, so we don't have much else to go on, except ask you guys. From TV you all look a lot more glamorous than our schoolkids!

Skins and Inbetweeners are the UK high school representatives...

Maxinquaye
06-09-2011, 06:24 PM
We all sit around drinking tea, being evil masterminds. We either say things like 'Jolly good show' or 'Cor blimey guv.' :D

The OP (and myself) have never been to a US high school, so we don't have much else to go on, except ask you guys. From TV you all look a lot more glamorous than our schoolkids!

There certainly is a definite lack of spotty geeks that are actually fourteen on US school television shows.

Mr Flibble
06-09-2011, 06:43 PM
Skins and Inbetweeners are the UK high school representatives...


I feel thankful I've never watched them :D In reality of course, we're all like St Trinians girls.


There certainly is a definite lack of spotty geeks that are actually fourteen on US school television shows. Probably the same these days over here (If I watched any, I'd know lol). Now Grange Hill, that had spotty oiks galore!

JimmyB27
06-09-2011, 07:24 PM
I feel thankful I've never watched them :D In reality of course, we're all like St Trinians girls.

Probably the same these days over here (If I watched any, I'd know lol). Now Grange Hill, that had spotty oiks galore!
Everyone in Inbetweeners is (and looks!) at least 22. Which is actually a good thing, because it meant I didn't need to feel guilty about finding any of the girls attractive. :tongue
Random trivia, Simon's big crush, Carli is played by Emily Head, daughter of Anthony.

shadowwalker
06-09-2011, 08:31 PM
Our HS was small (my graduating class was large, with 73 in it) and in a farming town. Everybody's parents were either farmers, merchants, or teachers. My dad worked for the railroad and my mother was a seamstress - so I was blue collar without the 'farming credentials', which meant I didn't really fit in with any social group (and my social acumen proved it). Add to that my older brother (class president who pissed off the principal on a regular basis by being smarter) and my older sister (Homecoming Queen, for god's sake!) and my penchant for picking friends that other people picked on, being interested in politics and religion when girls were just supposed to be interested in marriage...

Yeah, it was a real joy. :cry: (Actually, the 10 year reunion was fantastic - I'd blossomed and gotten some real confidence - no one recognized me! :evil)

mirandashell
06-09-2011, 09:44 PM
I watched one episode of Skins and Inbetweeners. Certainly ain't how I remember school!

mirandashell
06-09-2011, 09:49 PM
Maybe I'm different, but I didn't take it as you trying to be negative or judgmental or anti-USA, just asking. Maybe it's because I'm thinking you're probably right.

It may well be worse (here) in the USA than elsewhere. I suppose you could look teen suicide statistics, and similar things, in different countries. Yes, it looks like everyone in this thread says school sucked big-time, but I know logically it's a biased sample, even though I agree 100 percent.



Ben, thanks mate.

It isn't that I think it's worse in America. It's just that American schools are the ones in films and TV and whatnot. So that's what got me thinking about that website. I'd always assumed that what I saw on TV wasn't real but the website just got me curious.

I think the major difference between schools here and in the US is that we don't have the group structure. Yes, friends hang around in groups but they're not structured in the same way.

For instance, we can't ask each other 'what were you in high school?' because our groups were much looser and undefined.

Jessianodel
06-09-2011, 09:52 PM
The thing is that for most people it's not that bad. But if you're "different" then you get targeted. Thing is, in my high school at least, there are so many groups of people that like different things, it's pretty easy to make friends if you talk to people.

Maxinquaye
06-09-2011, 09:57 PM
For instance, we can't ask each other 'what were you in high school?' because our groups were much looser and undefined.

This. There are no "jocks", or "nerds" or "cheerleaders" or whatnot, not as group identities. There are sporty kids, there are nerdy kids, but they're not conscribed to a rigid group structure. At 5pm our schools close, and the kids go home, and they meet their friends outside school.

There's are no extracurricular activities per se. I can't speak for every school, naturally, but I think in general our schools are not group oriented.

Bookewyrme
06-09-2011, 10:14 PM
The OP (and myself) have never been to a US high school, so we don't have much else to go on, except ask you guys. From TV you all look a lot more glamorous than our schoolkids!

One of the more absorbing past-times among my friends while I was living in England was asking the "Resident American" (i.e. Me) what life was like in America, especially with regards to school. I found it all enormously hilarious, partially because I was every bit as curious what school and stuff was like in England, so we traded. I like to think everyone came out of the exchange a little more enriched. :)
At the very least I hope I impressed on them the fact that there's no such thing as "normal life in America" (as evidenced by the wide variety of high school experience in this thread) the best you can do is break it down into broad generalizations about relatively small regions. :D

Mr Flibble
06-09-2011, 10:19 PM
At the very least I hope I impressed on them the fact that there's no such thing as "normal life in America" (as evidenced by the wide variety of high school experience in this thread) the best you can do is break it down into broad generalizations about relatively small regions. :D

I think that's part of the thing we have trouble getting our heads round - you're so big! The US where a hundred years is a long time,and the UK where a hundred miles is a long way...

I mean we have regional differences, but yours are, well, bigger. A LOT bigger!

Bookewyrme
06-09-2011, 10:35 PM
I think that's part of the thing we have trouble getting our heads round - you're so big! The US where a hundred years is a long time,and the UK where a hundred miles is a long way...

I mean we have regional differences, but yours are, well, bigger. A LOT bigger!

Heh, yea that saying got tossed around a lot, and it made me giggle every time because it was SO true! As for the size thing, I always laughed when we took a trip to London or something (I was living in Durham up north) and my friends would look at it as a major vacation, while I viewed it as a quick weekend trip. After all, it takes longer for my parents to get to North Carolina, where my mother's sister lives, than to get from Durham to London, and my mother usually does that about once every other month. Funny how what you're used to can change your perceptions so dramatically. :tongue

Er, anyway, got a bit OT there. Sorry.

Sarah Madara
06-09-2011, 11:23 PM
One thing that always strikes me when I watch high school-based tv or movies is the cliques. My high school was very cliquey, but it wasn't a hierarchy the way they show. We had the dumb jocks, the smart jocks, the religious group, the drama group, the band geeks, the goth crowd, the pot smokers, the super-intelligent but holed up playing D&D, etc. I don't recall one group ever seeming to think of another as "cooler," or wishing they could get invited to the good parties, etc. I didn't hang out with the cheerleaders because I had nothing in common with the cheerleaders, so why would I care what parties they throw? You found your crowd and you pretty much stayed with it, but we didn't have that thing where certain kids seem to "rule" the school.

Maybe it's because I'm from an urban area, and sports were viewed more as another thing on your college application than an end in themselves? I don't know. But that whole idea of a certain crowd having all the social power and making other groups miserable just wasn't my experience. The misery was more diffuse than that...

Soccer Mom
06-09-2011, 11:49 PM
I liked high school. I still have friends I made back then (I graduated in '86). It wasn't all warm and fuzzy, but nothing in life ever is.

Ink-Stained Wretch
06-09-2011, 11:53 PM
I absolutely loathed high school, and it wasn't just due to adolescent angst; even as an adult I look back at things and think "Wow, how incredibly pointless." I was not a "bad kid" by any sane measure, yet still had a disciplinary record for ridiculous non-offenses: during a mandatory in-school pep rally, I read a book rather than cheer the football team and pretend to care whether they won or lost the upcoming game. I still maintain that an institution supposedly dedicated to the education of the young should not view "reading for pleasure, rather than cheering an athletic team" as a punishable offense.

Ink-Stained Wretch
06-10-2011, 12:05 AM
Having said that, I gather certain British kids hate high school just as much; I base that on the British sci-fi show Primeval. The idea is that holes in space-time result in prehistoric creatures invading the modern world; in one episode, some carnivorous monsters were in a high school (or whatever they're called in Britain), and one of the monster-hunters commented how high schools hadn't changed since his day; "smells like pimple cream and misery."

Mr Flibble
06-10-2011, 12:23 AM
There's probably a lot the same - but High School v College over here - going to college isn't compulsory, it's voluntary. That may make a difference somewhere. (Although that's changing, you'll have to be in at least P/T education (or an apprenticeship) up till age 18 if you are currently in year 9 or below. Seems silly to me)

Ink-Stained Wretch
06-10-2011, 12:58 AM
Delete double post. Whoops.

BeatrixKiddo
06-10-2011, 06:18 AM
I think kids have just become more vicious over time. Now kids bully online. I'd be scared to be in highschool these days. (I swear teenage girls are worse the boys)

Then we have all the lovely gang activity at schools now which just makes school dangerous.

BenPanced
06-11-2011, 09:47 PM
Skins and Inbetweeners are the UK high school representatives...

What's the difference between those two shows?

Besides the titles and cast members, I mean.

mirandashell
06-11-2011, 09:57 PM
Inbetweeners is supposed to be funny. Skins is supposed to be angsty.