Shiny, happy distraction thread

TerzaRima · Jun 8, 2011

Some of you who pay attention to um, less weighty current events may have read that Kim Kardashian recently became engaged, and that the family feted the happy couple with "an intimate family celebration including two glitter-covered miniature horses."

This revelation made me feel like Nick Gatsby or something. My celebrations, intimate and otherwise, have been sadly devoid of glitter covered miniature horses. It's like I've been living a little demi life in the horselette-free shadows. Anyone else?

muravyets · Jun 8, 2011

This is why the French had a Revolution, and the best part is, I don't think anyone in the Kardashian family knows that. There's a point at which cluelessness reaches its own critical mass, and it doesn't even matter if there are any starving peasants about or not. When your intimate family gatherings include live My Little Ponies, the tumbrels are going to be stacked 3 deep outside your manse before you know it -- just because the dumb burns so bad...must...make...stop...

Maxinquaye · Jun 8, 2011

"If they don't have bread, let them eat horselettes"?

muravyets · Jun 8, 2011

Mmm....horselette burgers... sparkly...

William Haskins · Jun 8, 2011

Sadly, the glitter-adorned horsies were ripped apart and eaten by Kardashian's sister Khloe, who wandered around the estate coughing up mane-hair from her blood-smeared maw, while keeping police at bay with a horse leg that she alternately gnawed and brandished as a weapon.

After several unsuccessful tasings, she was finally brought down with a battery of nearly a dozen tranquilizer darts. Family members say she is now napping in the kiddie pool.

.

mscelina · Jun 8, 2011

What? No PETA response? No animal cruelty charges? I've tried to remove glitter from cats before; I can't imagine the little horsies were comfortable.

Don · Jun 8, 2011

muravyets said:
This is why the French had a Revolution, and the best part is, I don't think anyone in the Kardashian family knows that. There's a point at which cluelessness reaches its own critical mass, and it doesn't even matter if there are any starving peasants about or not. When your intimate family gatherings include live My Little Ponies, the tumbrels are going to be stacked 3 deep outside your manse before you know it -- just because the dumb burns so bad...must...make...stop...

I wasn't aware that before the french revolution, the peasants were going into hock to buy the same boobs, clothes, cars, and experiences as Marie Antoinette and her court.

Deleted member 42 · Jun 8, 2011

mscelina said:
What? No PETA response? No animal cruelty charges? I've tried to remove glitter from cats before; I can't imagine the little horsies were comfortable.

Mini horsies are mini because they're tiny condensed balls of stupidity and bad temper.

You want them de-glitterfied, you're on you're own.

William Haskins · Jun 8, 2011

Medievalist said:
Mini horsies are mini because they're tiny condensed balls of stupidity and bad temper.

the same often holds true for short men.

TerzaRima · Jun 8, 2011

Mini horsies are mini because they're tiny condensed balls of stupidity and bad temper.

That confirms my (scant) experience. The only mini horse I know is like a quadriped ex-con. The disconnect between the adorable and the crazymeanbitey is disorienting. So I have reluctantly said neigh to the inclusion of lilliputian horsies in my (one day) hobby farm.

Deleted member 42 · Jun 8, 2011

William Haskins said:
the same often holds true for short men.

I find the use of the s-word socially unacceptable.

blacbird · Jun 9, 2011

TerzaRima said:
This revelation made me feel like Nick Gatsby or something.

This characteristic, exactly, is why I effing hate F. Scott Fitzgerald's wealth-worshipping snob-adoring fiction, including especially The Great Gatsby. I don't give a rat's how technically proficient F. Scott was at his prose. I'll enjoy a good home-grilled hamburger long before I crave any Volga caviar on toast points. For reading, gimme Steinbeck any day.

poetinahat · Jun 9, 2011

Me, I don't give a rats what's on the plate. For reading, gimme a good story.

Speaking of which, any chance the Kardashians are related to the Yossarians? That'd make a Heller-va family reunion...

sassandgroove · Jun 9, 2011

it's been a long time since I read Great Gatsby- but i don't remember it glorifying wealth. I remember the characters were all sad. maybe I remember it differently?

Xelebes · Jun 9, 2011

I remember reading the Great Gatsby in high school. The main theme of the story was the shallowness of wealth.

darkprincealain · Jun 9, 2011

Well, I think glitter horselettes certainly qualifies as shallow. But if you need to check for glitter horselettes when these people are reality tv stars to tell if they're shallow, more power to you.

And isn't Kim a little too old for My Little Ponies?

adnan · Jun 9, 2011

Miniature horses were probably bred by Czarist Russians who wanted to destroy bonsai gardens of Japanese. They have nothing to do with French revolutionaries.

Kaiser-Kun · Jun 9, 2011

muravyets said:
Mmm....horselette burgers... sparkly...

Gale Haut · Jun 9, 2011

I was expecting another Weiner thread from the title.

Xelebes · Jun 9, 2011

Gale Haut said:
I was expecting another Weiner thread from the title.

You wanted to talk about horslette wieners?

Shiny, happy distraction thread

TerzaRima

Absinthe O'Malice

muravyets

Old revolutionary

Maxinquaye

That cheeky buggerer

muravyets

Old revolutionary

William Haskins

poet

mscelina

Teh doommobile, drivin' rite by you

Don

All Living is Local

Deleted member 42

William Haskins

poet

TerzaRima

Absinthe O'Malice

Deleted member 42

blacbird

poetinahat

say it loud

sassandgroove

Sassy haircut

Xelebes

Delerium ex Ennui

darkprincealain

adnan

Kaiser-Kun

!

Gale Haut

waxing digital artistic

Xelebes

Delerium ex Ennui