Advice for the novice gardener

StoryG27

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As I was out weeding my garden this morning, I thought of helpful hints to pass along.

Now this one you may have heard. It was passed down for generations in my family.

1. If you don't know if a plant is a weed or something good you planted, grab it near the base and give it a gentle tug. If it rips out the entire root system easily, it was something you planted. If it won't come out, it is a weed.

2. Cotton gloves don't protect you from the pricklies.

Which brings me to my next and final point.

3. When you've dug down, can't find the root, and have decided to endure the pain of grasping the prickly stout weed and are pulling with all your might, aim your body toward your lawn and not toward the driveway next to it. Trust me, though you are locked in a bloody, sweaty battle with this vicious weed, something will give, and you will go flying backward.
i. Subpoint, when doing this, make sure your neighbor has not come out to check their mail. Though rolling down your sloped concrete drive with the top of a prickly plant in your hands is entertaining to said neighbor, his laughter gets very irritating, even while he is asking if you are all right.
 

Kate Thornton

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More hints:

1. If you want the wildflowers to come back next year, don't pull them out before they set seed. Even if they're ugly and the neighbors are disapproving.

2. The cactus is pretty. Don't try weeding it with your bare hands, even if you think that single grass stem will just pull right out. It won't.

3. Yes, if it is on the ground - even in your nice flower bed - and it looks like dog poo, it probably is. No need to pick it up or sniff.

4. Wearing gloves can help a lot of situations out there in the wilds. Remove them before you wipe your face.


..
 

StoryG27

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Thanks, Kate!

Here's another tidbit. It's okay to curse at your rose bushes (they're tough, they can take it), just make sure the three year old who lives two houses down isn't near you when you do.
 

Phaeal

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Some other tidbits to live by:

Know what poison ivy looks like, in all its tricky forms.

Hops will hopelessly stain anything their juice gets on. (What, you don't grow hops?)

Roses live to stab you. The flowers are a blatant lure. Of course, you can always go for the thornless varieties, of which Zephirine Drouhin (a very vigorous climber) is the queen.

Embrace the volunteers that appear out of nowhere. I currently have two nice honeysuckles which popped up exactly where I would have planted them anyhow, Solomon's Seal perfectly arranged under the above Zephirine Drouhin, lilies-of-the-valley that have colonized the otherwise desert ground under the lilac, a yellow sedum which makes a superb ground cover, ditto a crop of ostrich plume ferns, and a handsome wistaria (again, it popped up just where I would have planted it.)

Plant garlic chives, lady-bells, many campanulas, and violets at your own risk. At least in my area, they stage an annual Blitzkrieg through the entire garden.
 

L.J.

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Stinging nettle stings.
 

StoryG27

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I thought you said they "sing."

My second read through of your post wasn't as fun as the misread on the first.
 

Fenika

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1) Don't get frustrated by the learning curve

2) We have a gardening thread on AW titled Gardeners of AW, Unite :D
 

BardSkye

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Those who say "You can't kill mint or rhubarb" haven't met me.
 

benbradley

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1) Don't get frustrated by the learning curve

2) We have a gardening thread on AW titled Gardeners of AW, Unite :D
And isn't there a "hands on" or whatever its called subforum that this and that thread could go in?

If I get/make a 3d printer, could I post about it there, or would be need a new "hands off" subforum for it?
 

L.J.

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I thought you said they "sing."

My second read through of your post wasn't as fun as the misread on the first.

You must have heard me 'sing' when my leg brushed up against the stinging nettle. :)
 

StoryG27

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No, I missed it.
Can you do it again?


;)
 

backslashbaby

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I'll give one I should listen to, but I never do: If you plant all kinds of plants to attract bees, you really shouldn't go barefoot all the time. (And I'm sorry I killed you, little guy!)
 

Caitlin Black

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1. If you buy a plant that is supposed to remain small, specifically so that it will be in the right spot in the garden to give that right effect you're after, it will grow to be triple the size.
1b. In less than a year.
1c. Don't plant these ones near the fence, unless you want a large spider to build an enormous city of a web between it and the fence.
1d. That spider aint going anywhere.

2. Don't garden with anyone who decides temperatures reminiscent of the height of the Australian summer is the perfect time to do some heavy gardening, such as pulling out 6 months' worth of weeds or carting 8 tonnes of dirt from one place to the next.
2b. You're probably related to someone like that.
 

Mr Flibble

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If you do your yearly task of chopping that bloody elder that refuses to die no matter what and has taken root between the bricks in your wall, and you are doing so with a large scramasax and lots of vigorous swearing, try to make sure the new neighbours aren't moving in that day. Or they will look at you funny for the rest of the time they live there.

Also, try not to get a dog that likes to eat all your strawberry plants.
 

Voxtrot

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Cool thread... I love gardening :)

So here's something I recently learned the hard way: If you have a large vegetable garden in the same paddock as a horse and a cow, double check that your electric fence is working. In one absent moment, my whole garden looked like a herd of elephants had stampeded through it... *sob*