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View Full Version : How important is a good engagement ring?



vivid2012
04-13-2011, 12:37 PM
A question for both genders. Guys, do you feel the need to go all out and spend thousands on an engagement ring to please the girl? Ladies, does the ring or amount spend actually increase how much love you feel for your man? do you care about size of the ring?
I don't think size is an issue, as long as it fits your finger, right? But my gf doesn't think so. The other day, I bought this ring (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ) for her. Who knows, she said it not big enough. And she even implied the size is sort of matters.. If I don't get a good ring- then what does that say for the rest of the relationship or marriage... It predicts bad things! I'm so confused now. So, what's your opinion?

dpaterso
04-13-2011, 01:21 PM
Take back the ring and ditch her.

-Derek

Priene
04-13-2011, 02:12 PM
Take back the ring and ditch her.

Caitlin Black
04-13-2011, 02:16 PM
Take back the ring, tell her to try spending $700 on you, then reevaluate your feelings for her.

Seriously, that ring was $703. That's a shitload of money just to say "Will you marry me?"

shelley
04-13-2011, 02:18 PM
Take back the ring and ditch her.

-Derek


Pretty much.

whimsical rabbit
04-13-2011, 02:26 PM
When my husband proposed to me we were both so broke that we had to choose between ordering takeaway or going out for pints. My engagement ring cost about 50, an amount of money he could not possibly afford to spend as a freelance runner when the fiscal crisis hit London, and when I saw it, when I saw the silver-platinum base and the little shiny stones adorning it, a ring exactly like I always imagined it and always dreamed about, I broke down and cried my eyes out and thought I'm the luckiest woman ever to walk this planet.

But even if he could afford it, I'm not even a diamond person. In fact, I'm sort of against diamonds. Africa blood diamonds and all that. It's just a piece of anthrax that drives people mad, that's it.

I'd rather spend that money travelling. But then that's just me.

Shakesbear
04-13-2011, 02:30 PM
Take the ring back. Ditch her. Invest the money and when it makes a million go and flaunt it at her!

Caitlin Black
04-13-2011, 02:39 PM
Y'know, you could take the ring and go to a bar. Find a nice-looking woman who doesn't have a man crowding around her.

Say, "Can you believe my girlfriend didn't like this engagement ring?"

Bam, shows you can commit, have good taste (it's a nice ring) and aren't happy right now. I can't think of a better use of an unwanted ring.

But then, I'm an optimist.

Sophia
04-13-2011, 02:51 PM
I think she has a fair point. A good engagement ring should give you dominion over the races of Man, Elf and Dwarf, thus securing one's position as the all-powerful Lord (or Lady) of the world. I could be wrong, but I believe that ring you link to only grants dominion over two Orc units and Saruman. I think I'd hem and haw a bit, too.

regdog
04-13-2011, 03:29 PM
Joining the chorus of Ditch Her Take the Ring Back

Shakesbear
04-13-2011, 03:44 PM
I think she has a fair point. A good engagement ring should give you dominion over the races of Man, Elf and Dwarf, thus securing one's position as the all-powerful Lord (or Lady) of the world. I could be wrong, but I believe that ring you link to only grants dominion over two Orc units and Saruman. I think I'd hem and haw a bit, too.

What about the Ents?

cray
04-13-2011, 03:49 PM
And she even implied the size is sort of matters.


i knew it!











*wanders out of thread weeping*

Grrarrgh
04-13-2011, 03:52 PM
As someone who got the exact ring she had always dreamed of, I can tell you that as much as I loved/love my ring, and still 6 years later look at it admiringly at least 2x/day, I am firmly in the 'take the ring back and ditch her' camp. I love my ring. Love it. But I love the guy who gave it to me even more. Yes, stars aligned, circumstances were right and he was able to get me something he knew would be exactly right. But if that hadn't happened, if he had gotten me a different ring, it wouldn't have made any difference in my answer to his question or how happy we've been since then.
Take the ring back. Ditch her.

fourlittlebees
04-13-2011, 04:02 PM
I miss my engagement ring. I don't miss my ex.

That said, what everyone said. It's not about the ring. Ditch her. She's never going to be happy. My mother's engagement ring was so small we had a family nickname for the diamond size; my parents were dead broke when they got engaged. She cried when she broke her finger and they had to cut it off her along with her wedding band. My father got her a new one, and she insisted that the original, tiny diamond was put in the new ring.

brainstorm77
04-13-2011, 04:15 PM
You don't let a ring judge your relationship.

NeuroFizz
04-13-2011, 04:19 PM
The issue with that ring with be nothing compared to the size of the tethered ring she will likely have threaded through your nose if you go buy a larger engagement ring that meets her "approval." Run. Away. Fast.

Anne Lyle
04-13-2011, 04:23 PM
A comfortable fit is important, but I wouldn't think much of a man who blew a month's salary or more on a bit of jewellery. It's supposed to be a token to demonstrate his solvency, not a cause of debt!

My engagement ring is aquamarine, not diamond - it's my birthstone, and is also reputed to promote domestic harmony :)

ETA - Just took a look at the picture. If she complained it just wasn't her style and could she choose something the same price but different design, I would understand - I'm a very picky person myself in that respect. But wanting something bigger is just selfish. Another vote for running away...

Ol' Fashioned Girl
04-13-2011, 04:36 PM
Oh, boy.

You know how tiny, soft breezes can be the harbinger of storms that wipe out hundreds of thousands of square miles, rack up untold millions in damage, and destroy lives?

This is one of those breezes.

Save yourself.

lastlittlebird
04-13-2011, 04:41 PM
Sounds like this doesn't work for the both of you. So I am echoing the general sentiment of the thread. Find someone who is gonna love the ring that you want to buy her.

Perks
04-13-2011, 04:43 PM
Yeah, run away.

Wayne K
04-13-2011, 04:45 PM
I vote: Run away

Cella
04-13-2011, 04:46 PM
Tell her go and pick just the perfect ring--the one she's always dreamed of. Then tell her she can purchase it for herself.

Adam
04-13-2011, 04:55 PM
Take back the ring and ditch her.

-Derek

Ditto.

It's a piece of metal, nothing more.

Leah J. Utas
04-13-2011, 05:25 PM
This is an early warning sign. Turn and run and don't look back. Get the ring back and go.

Uncarved
04-13-2011, 05:30 PM
The issue with that ring with be nothing compared to the size of the tethered ring she will likely have threaded through your nose if you go buy a larger engagement ring that meets her "approval." Run. Away. Fast.


THIS.

I don't need material goods, what I need can't be measured by mere carat weight. Trust, Adore, Follow, Lead, Love....but don't buy me shiny things. Anyone can BUY something, it takes a real man to give things that are difficult.

So yea, ditch the ring ditch the bitch and find someone real.

rhymegirl
04-13-2011, 06:03 PM
I have known women who are very fussy about the size and cost of rings. To me, that's very shallow.

When a man gives a woman a ring I think she should be grateful and appreciative, no matter what.

Wicked
04-13-2011, 06:05 PM
Yikes.

Put your running shoes on and don't look back.

Lavern08
04-13-2011, 06:14 PM
The issue with that ring with be nothing compared to the size of the tethered ring she will likely have threaded through your nose if you go buy a larger engagement ring that meets her "approval."

Run. Away. Fast.

Yep, what Fizz said ^

(Twenty-four years ago, Mr. Hunny had just started a new job when we got engaged, and I knew he didn't have much money, so I told him I didn't *need* an engagement ring.

While he was short on cash, he was - and still is - a man of great compassion, wisdom and integrity - And that's why I married him - NOT because he gave me a huge diamond) ;)

Roger J Carlson
04-13-2011, 06:33 PM
A woman doesn't accept or reject an engagement ring. She accepts or rejects the man giving it. Strikes me, she's already rejected you.

If she will only accept you if you spend more, ask her if she's willing to spend money on breast enhancement and imply that size really does matter. Fair's fair.

shadowwalker
04-13-2011, 06:41 PM
Yeah, I'd be heading back to the jewelers (to return it)... if I were a guy. Now, having once accepted an engagement ring that came out of a gumball machine (yes, seriously - both broke and completely in love) and then having that relationship end in WWIII (luckily before the wedding), I would at least want a ring that, when hocked, would buy me a nice coat or a pair of boots... :evil

Chicago Expat
04-13-2011, 06:46 PM
This is a spam thread. Vivid2012 has posted this thread all over the internet.
Don't follow the link.

JoNightshade
04-13-2011, 06:53 PM
Wow, none of you guys smelled the spam here? ;)

Sophia
04-13-2011, 06:56 PM
The OP has moved me to song.

Ohhh...
Sweet imaginary girlfriend of a drive-by spammer
You didn't think your life would turn out like this.
You thought money was great
and he told you he rated
you
for your hones-teee.

And then one day he bought you a ring
And you knew it wasn't just a fling
with this guarantee of authenticiteee.
And so you told him your heart:

How it was only a start
And if he really loved you he could surely see
That the perfect ring could not be bought
for a measly
dollars seven hundred and threeee

Oh sweet imaginary girlfriend of a drive-by spammer
He told you your appreciation of bling
was part of your charm.
But now your words are out
In the world
And are judged
Oh so very harshleeee.

And so your moment ends
As he moves on to another site
And your existence remains for all to seee
A wreck of a love
That you thought was so right
Provides no buoyanceeeeeeeeee
As you lie, in the ditch, once his babe, now a bitch.

Wicked
04-13-2011, 06:56 PM
Wow, none of you guys smelled the spam here? ;)


My node id pugged up.

mscelina
04-13-2011, 06:56 PM
3/4 of a karat's worth of diamonds isn't big enough? Seriously?

Wow. Think of it this way then: all your married life, nothing you do will be good enough. You'll never make enough money. You'll never be good-looking enough. You'll never satisfy her in bed. You'll never live in the right place, have the right friends, enjoy the right hobbies, do the right job. Your family will always be inferior to hers. Your writing? Might as well give it up--it'll be considered a waste of your time, time you could be using to support her in the style she prefers. You will never, ever make this woman happy and will be consigning yourself to a lifetime of inadequacy and misery if you shackle yourself to a partner with this little regard for your feelings and too much regard for WHAT PEOPLE THINK.

Sound harsh? That's nowhere near as harsh as your life will be if you don't heed this very horrific warning sign.

I'd go and return that ring immediately. Use part of the money to buy luggage, packing boxes, bubble wrap and duct tape. Then give THAT to her.

Your money will be much better spent on Samsonite and U-haul products than on any piece of jewelry at this point.

Flee. Run as fast as you can and don't look back.

Roger J Carlson
04-13-2011, 07:01 PM
Wow, none of you guys smelled the spam here? ;)If I researched every odd thread in Office Party, I'd get even less work done than I do now.

Priene
04-13-2011, 07:09 PM
Wow, none of you guys smelled the spam here? ;)

Yeah, but look how much fun we're having. And how united we are.

Adam
04-13-2011, 07:11 PM
Wow, none of you guys smelled the spam here? ;)

Given that we get all sorts of bizarre topics come up on AW, this one was in no way fishy to me. We've had genuine engagement question threads before, and not that long ago.

scarletpeaches
04-13-2011, 07:15 PM
Am I the only woman who wouldn't wear an engagement ring at all?

Roger J Carlson
04-13-2011, 07:22 PM
Am I the only woman who wouldn't wear an engagement ring at all?My wife didn't want one. Thirty-three years later, we're still happily married, so I guess it didn't matter much.

JoNightshade
04-13-2011, 07:28 PM
It's not the topic; it's the wording, plus the link, plus the very specific little linguistic tics. It screams SPAM at me... perhaps just because I'm in marketing? :D

Roger J Carlson
04-13-2011, 07:31 PM
... perhaps just because I'm in marketing? :DAnd to think I used to like you. :tongue

Perks
04-13-2011, 07:32 PM
This is a spam thread. Vivid2012 has posted this thread all over the internet.
Don't follow the link.
What happens if, say, you did follow the link?

cray
04-13-2011, 07:34 PM
i did.

and i loved it.

Uncarved
04-13-2011, 07:37 PM
Following the link showed me what was behind the curtain.
I laughed, I cried, I asked for cheese nachoes.
Sigh....if only clicking the link again could bring back those first few moments of innocence again.

Chicago Expat
04-13-2011, 07:37 PM
What happens if, say, you did follow the link?

Oh, it could be anything. It might be there just to drive traffic to a site as easily as it could be for more malicious intents (spyware, adware, etc).

If you have a decent virus and spyware program, I wouldn't worry much about it. When I googled the url that the link connects to, the results didn't scream huge warning signs. And when I googled the username vivid2012, it showed up on StopForumSpam as well as showed that it had been banned on other forums for posting the same or similar threads to this one. So my guess, the only real damage you suffered by following the link is that you'll never regain the few minutes of your life spent on the other site and then replying here.

If it would give you some peace of mind, go ahead and run an unscheduled spyware run on your system. But, again, I'm not sure you need even be that afeared.

EDIT: I actually used the word 'afeared' naturally in a sentence, without blinking. :partyguy: :cry: :flag: I truly am being enveloped by my new southern hometown. Add to the mix that last night, at our Humane Society meeting, a woman poked her head in the door and said there was a chicken walking down Main St. about a half block away. Not only did this news not affect me, but I was able to tell her that I knew whose chicken it was and not to worry, the chicken would find its way home.

Adam
04-13-2011, 07:37 PM
I followed it. T'was a nice ring. I didn't get the urge to buy it though, and no viruses invaded mah brainz. ;)

sassandgroove
04-13-2011, 08:01 PM
yeah I clicked on it too. it was a ring.

my wedding bands were not expensive, it doesn't fit anymore, and I wear different cheapo rings on different days on my ring finger in their place. its fun. what matters is my hubby!

aadams73
04-13-2011, 09:36 PM
I'm pretty sure my guy Smeagol is going to give me a ring any day now.


What?

Soccer Mom
04-13-2011, 10:04 PM
I'm pretty sure my guy Smeagol is going to give me a ring any day now.


What?

His ring is very preciousssssssssssssssss.

Just sayin'

whimsical rabbit
04-13-2011, 10:13 PM
This is a spam thread. Vivid2012 has posted this thread all over the internet.
Don't follow the link.


Wow, none of you guys smelled the spam here? ;)

Sigh. I knew it. I started suspecting it when after a bunch of posts the OP didn't return to comment.

I did follow the link; ring much too flashy for me, so no thanks.

But hey, it was nice to read everyone else's replies. I guess sometimes spam brings unanimity?


Am I the only woman who wouldn't wear an engagement ring at all?

Well. I wear both my engagement and wedding ring for what they stand for. But I must be one of the very few women on this planet that have absolutely no interest whatsoever in fine jewelry. I can wear tons of boho accessories sure, necklaces, charm bracelets, thumb rings, slave bracelets and all that. But diamonds? Pfft! Little pieces of unbelievably expensive anthrax, that's all.

Roger J Carlson
04-13-2011, 10:40 PM
If you value your sanity, you will not, I repeat, will not click the link.

It's too horrible.

Soccer Mom
04-14-2011, 01:07 AM
Yeah, whatever you do DO NOT CLICK. You'll have nightmares.

Williebee
04-14-2011, 01:12 AM
I clicked. She turned me into a newt.

Caitlin Black
04-14-2011, 06:30 AM
Sigh. I knew it. I started suspecting it when after a bunch of posts the OP didn't return to comment.

I thought the same thing after maybe 8 or 9 responses, but then I went to bed. I'm far too trusting of people... :(


I did follow the link; ring much too flashy for me, so no thanks.

But hey, it was nice to read everyone else's replies. I guess sometimes spam brings unanimity?

I followed the link too. Soooo glad this wasn't a malicious virus spam! I only just (like, 2 days ago) paid $60 to fix my computer after getting invaded by a few Trojans... Granted, this computer now has up-to-date virus protection, but still... I'd hate to have to fix my computer YET AGAIN so bloody soon afterwards...


Well. I wear both my engagement and wedding ring for what they stand for. But I must be one of the very few women on this planet that have absolutely no interest whatsoever in fine jewelry. I can wear tons of boho accessories sure, necklaces, charm bracelets, thumb rings, slave bracelets and all that. But diamonds? Pfft! Little pieces of unbelievably expensive anthrax, that's all.

I like some jewellery... Rings tend to annoy me a little - I can't get comfortable with a a ring on my finger, and I always worry my finger will swell up in the heat and I won't be able to get the ring off... But I do like some necklaces. Nothing too clunky, and always silver in colour (I can't afford real silver, and I don't think it looks any better than the fake-silver stuff that you can buy for $10), usually with some sort of semi-precious stone in it, like rose quartz or something... The most expensive necklace I own cost $50 or so.

That said, I hardly ever wear my many necklaces anymore. I went through a phase of wearing one every day, which is why I wound up buying about 6 of them... but now they just irritate me a bit.

So the only "jewellery" I wear now is an expensive watch (a gift) because I like knowing what time it is, and my glasses (el cheapo ones) because otherwise I get headaches.

*shrug*

Mom'sWrite
04-14-2011, 06:48 AM
Yeah, whatever you do DO NOT CLICK. You'll have nightmares.

I clicked it. I liked it. I'ma gonna click it again, so there.

poetinahat
04-14-2011, 07:01 AM
I clicked it. I liked it. I'ma gonna click it again, so there.
Oh, no. You shouldn't.

You should give it up.
You should let it down.
You should play around and desert it.
You should say goodbye.
You should make it cry.
You should tell it lies and hurt it.

Victoria
04-14-2011, 07:46 AM
Yeah, Rick Astley.

Mom'sWrite
04-14-2011, 07:48 AM
You should give it up.
You should let it down.
You should play around and desert it.
You should say goodbye.
You should make it cry.
You should tell it lies and hurt it.

Too late. I've decided to have his baby.

poetinahat
04-14-2011, 07:57 AM
I won't preach then.

Alan Yee
04-14-2011, 08:15 AM
Now I have "Papa Don't Preach" stuck in my head. *blames Poet*

scarletpeaches
04-14-2011, 04:36 PM
Oh, no. You shouldn't.

You should give it up.
You should let it down.
You should play around and desert it.
You should say goodbye.
You should make it cry.
You should tell it lies and hurt it.We've known each other for so long. You know the rules and so do I!

Adam
04-14-2011, 04:41 PM
Now I have "Papa Don't Preach" stuck in my head. *blames Poet*

Poet's in trouble deep.

scarletpeaches
04-14-2011, 04:51 PM
Poet's in trouble deep.I've been losing sleep.

JimmyB27
04-14-2011, 05:42 PM
Y'know, you could take the ring and go to a bar. Find a nice-looking woman who doesn't have a man crowding around her.

Say, "Can you believe my girlfriend didn't like this engagement ring?"

Bam, shows you can commit, have good taste (it's a nice ring) and aren't happy right now. I can't think of a better use of an unwanted ring.

But then, I'm an optimist.
Genius. I'm off to buy an engagement ring.

poetinahat
04-14-2011, 05:51 PM
Poet's in trouble deep.


I've been losing sleep.

Yup, I'm grounded, and everybody's gonna Wang Chung tonight.

JimmyB27
04-14-2011, 05:55 PM
But hey, it was nice to read everyone else's replies. I guess sometimes spam brings unanimity?
The phentermine thread (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=52836) is legendary.