View Full Version : YA Contemporary Critique Wanted

03-31-2011, 10:49 PM
I need someone to help me weed out places where I am telling rather than showing, cliches, and places where I can develop my characters a little more.
I've had beta readers, but mostly they just gave reader feedback and basic grammar. I've had a deep edit on the first 3 chapters from an author who has publishing company.

I read contemporaries and most paranormals.

I would like someone who can get through pretty quickly--I will do the same for you (within a week, if that is reasonable)

Here's my description:
Meredith has learned the rules for survival: never be late, call home secretly, and above all, keep Kaden happy.

Seventeen year old Meredith wants to be cherished, to fill the void that her father’s death left in her life. When she meets Kaden, a charming engineering student, she’s swept up in her first love and feels like she can be whole again.

As the weeks pass, a darker side to Kaden emerges. She makes excuses for his mood swings and eventually his fists as she clings to the boy that made her laugh and feel normal. But when the plus sign on the pregnancy test gives her the results she fears, Meredith is desperate. Kaden promises to never hurt her again, and wants a happy family together. Meredith doesn’t know if she can trust him, but is also afraid to be a single mother and the thought of adoption scares her. She’s making decisions for two now, and it’s harder than ever to keep Kaden happy.

03-31-2011, 11:01 PM
Hi Brandi

Whats the word count like?
Maybe you could send m a little to see if I dig on our style.
cpaigemcd at yahoo

04-02-2011, 09:45 PM
I would really like to read this if you're still looking for readers. Not sure about the speed, though, but I'll do the best I can if you still need one. :)

04-18-2011, 04:59 AM
I'd love to help you out, if you're still looking for betas. Message me with what you're looking for if you're interested in my help :)