This has really been bugging me. I live in a very racially diverse area. This is not a big deal. However, I recently joined an interest group in a nearby area that is predominantly one race. We'll call it RaceA. This group is maybe one or two hundred people large, so it's a big group. 80 or 90% are RaceA, while a minority are my race (say, RaceB) or something else (RaceC).
All but one of the leaders are RaceA, and on my first visit they introduced me to the group, how it works, the rules, etc. Everyone was very perfunctory, not particularly friendly, but I thought well maybe they are just very businesslike here, I can handle that, and also I'm just nervous so maybe that's making me overly sensitive.
My next visit, I got thrown in with everyone else. I was confused and kind of lost and since nobody offered to help my obviously confused self I had to beg for assistance to be told where to go, etc. I was feeling pretty left out, but then a couple of different people stepped up and introduced themselves and told me they were glad I had come, made chitchat, etc. You know, the kind of thing it's nice to do with new people.
It wasn't until later, thinking back on the experience, that I realized that every single person who nicely introduced themselves... was either RaceB or RaceC. Aside from the folks in charge who had to interact with me, RaceA totally ignored me, as if I didn't exist. This is especially weird, to me, because I came with my toddler, who is adorable and gets compliments from others every time we go out. He was one of the only kids there and nobody even said "Oh how cute!" When I took him into the nursery, he was taken by, once again, someone of RaceB.
So... am I just being ridiculously paranoid? Is this just a coincidence I should ignore? Or even if it's not a coincidence, should I just shrug it off and keep going? Is it natural for people of the same race to congregate together? I'm afraid of ending up in the "RaceB group," you know? Like, even if it's not my doing, I don't want to end up just making friends with the other RaceB folks. Honestly, even talking about this makes me feel weird and scared of being racist myself.
All but one of the leaders are RaceA, and on my first visit they introduced me to the group, how it works, the rules, etc. Everyone was very perfunctory, not particularly friendly, but I thought well maybe they are just very businesslike here, I can handle that, and also I'm just nervous so maybe that's making me overly sensitive.
My next visit, I got thrown in with everyone else. I was confused and kind of lost and since nobody offered to help my obviously confused self I had to beg for assistance to be told where to go, etc. I was feeling pretty left out, but then a couple of different people stepped up and introduced themselves and told me they were glad I had come, made chitchat, etc. You know, the kind of thing it's nice to do with new people.
It wasn't until later, thinking back on the experience, that I realized that every single person who nicely introduced themselves... was either RaceB or RaceC. Aside from the folks in charge who had to interact with me, RaceA totally ignored me, as if I didn't exist. This is especially weird, to me, because I came with my toddler, who is adorable and gets compliments from others every time we go out. He was one of the only kids there and nobody even said "Oh how cute!" When I took him into the nursery, he was taken by, once again, someone of RaceB.
So... am I just being ridiculously paranoid? Is this just a coincidence I should ignore? Or even if it's not a coincidence, should I just shrug it off and keep going? Is it natural for people of the same race to congregate together? I'm afraid of ending up in the "RaceB group," you know? Like, even if it's not my doing, I don't want to end up just making friends with the other RaceB folks. Honestly, even talking about this makes me feel weird and scared of being racist myself.
). OTOH, if you aren't familiar with the town, it's not like it's impossible that they have race issues wherever you were. I've had my little naive self smacked down by that on more than one occasion!
