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View Full Version : What do you want on your tombstone?



arrowqueen
10-19-2005, 12:01 AM
You're a writer. This is your chance to have the last word - literally! - so what final witticism will be chiseled on your headstone? 'The End'? 'Full Stop'? 'To be continued...'?

JoeEkaitis
10-19-2005, 12:11 AM
“And I thought REJECTIONS were a bummer. . .”

William Haskins
10-19-2005, 12:16 AM
http://poisonpen.net/images/db/db_37.jpg

September skies
10-19-2005, 12:19 AM
LOL - actually, I shouldn't be laughing. I never thought of what to put on my tombstone, but I have - however - written my obituary. (not the plain obit, but the story)

I write LifeStories for the newspaper. I look through the obits and then call the families and ask if they would like for me to honor their loved one by writing a story about their life.

I realized no one could really write mine, so I have it written it and keep it with all the other "important" papers - under the mattress. :)

threedogpeople
10-19-2005, 12:21 AM
See you on the other side.

trumancoyote
10-19-2005, 12:22 AM
He Hath Done What He Could.

robeiae
10-19-2005, 12:23 AM
I don't want a headstone, just a stone marker with my name, birthdate, deathdate, and "Don't Tread on Me"

Rob :)

three seven
10-19-2005, 12:24 AM
Told you it wouldn't work.

Unique
10-19-2005, 12:25 AM
'She's not here. Why are you here?'

trumancoyote
10-19-2005, 12:30 AM
All dressed up and nowhere to go.

Harhar.

Carole
10-19-2005, 12:30 AM
"She Lovingly Gave Of Herself, Without Limits"

Hubby said that about me once in a poem he wrote for my birthday. I think it would be nice to be remembered that way.

maestrowork
10-19-2005, 12:46 AM
"Yeah, What Haskins Said"

maestrowork
10-19-2005, 12:48 AM
"Loved Life. Now See What That Got Me."

astonwest
10-19-2005, 12:48 AM
What do you want on your tombstone?

Sausage and Pepperoni...

three seven
10-19-2005, 12:53 AM
Dead.

robeiae
10-19-2005, 12:54 AM
HE TRIED
Funny...Ray has that on a sign on the ceiling over his bed...

Rob :)

Kida Adelyne
10-19-2005, 12:59 AM
Sausage and Pepperoni...
:ROFL:

rtilryarms
10-19-2005, 01:05 AM
Here lies a number one best seller and unselfish philanthropist.

OK. so much for the lies, RT is dead and we buried him here. There is nothing more to say about this wuthless scoundrel.

rtilryarms
10-19-2005, 01:12 AM
http://poisonpen.net/images/db/db_37.jpg


Of course you know that people will have to now.

maestrowork
10-19-2005, 01:14 AM
http://poisonpen.net/images/db/db_37.jpg

Haskins, you just open yourself for crude jokes...

William Haskins
10-19-2005, 01:17 AM
Haskins, you just open yourself for crude jokes...

that happened the day i was born, ray.

Alphabet
10-19-2005, 01:27 AM
I don't know. something like...


Here lies
My Real Name
1972 - 2072
but
Don't Worry
Be Happy

kristie911
10-19-2005, 01:29 AM
http://poisonpen.net/images/db/db_37.jpg

I feel like I'm missing out...on my crappy screen I can't read the words. What does it say?

kristie911
10-19-2005, 01:32 AM
Mine will probably say:

Kristie
1975-(sometime in the future, hopefully)
Her last words were...
Hey, watch this!

ChunkyC
10-19-2005, 01:39 AM
::

JAlpha
10-19-2005, 01:41 AM
http://www.flowerchat.com/forums/images/SWsmilies/tombstone.gif

scfirenice
10-19-2005, 01:51 AM
Nothing. I wanna be incinerated.

BradyH1861
10-19-2005, 01:57 AM
How about "I told you I was sick."

Or, if it be in the line of duty:

"Remember for you tomorrow, I gave my today."

Or maybe something humorous:

"They call this hot?"

Brady

Susie
10-19-2005, 02:00 AM
I want mine to say:

"Here lies Susie,
She wasn't ready to go.
But no one listened,
When she said no!"

PattiTheWicked
10-19-2005, 02:03 AM
No tombstone for me. I'm having a Viking funeral, complete with sacrificial slaves, lots of drinking, and a burning ship.

Carole
10-19-2005, 02:43 AM
Nothing. I wanna be incinerated.
Me, too. I just want a plaque on or by the tree or something.

trumancoyote
10-19-2005, 02:45 AM
No tombstone for me. I'm having a Viking funeral, complete with sacrificial slaves, lots of drinking, and a burning ship.

Ooh! Can I be one? Can I be one?

rtilryarms
10-19-2005, 03:15 AM
I feel like I'm missing out...on my crappy screen I can't read the words. What does it say?


he thinks everybody are jerks

rtilryarms
10-19-2005, 03:17 AM
Here lies RT

Off to meet his 79 virgins

uh.....78

rhymegirl
10-19-2005, 03:50 AM
Extra cheese.

brokenfingers
10-19-2005, 03:51 AM
We Finally Got The Bastard

Cabinscribe
10-19-2005, 05:30 AM
Ooh! Can I be one? Can I be one?

You want to be a burning ship? ;)

Perks
10-19-2005, 05:45 AM
"Just Kidding"

MacAllister
10-19-2005, 05:51 AM
"Let this be a terrible lesson to you..."

PattiTheWicked
10-19-2005, 05:58 AM
Ooh! Can I be one? Can I be one?

Get in line, babycakes :)

mkcbunny
10-19-2005, 09:23 AM
I'm opting for cremation, but possibly cremation with a marker.

I don't think I'd write words for my own headstone. It's hard enough to write things that aren't etched in stone, let alone something that's supposed to represent me for generations to come. Someone else can come up with something kind to say about me when I go.

Tiaga
10-19-2005, 11:00 AM
Slip sliding away...

Mac H.
10-19-2005, 12:36 PM
I'm having a Viking funeral, complete with sacrificial slaves, lots of drinking, and a burning ship.That's a disturbing coincidence. I was just reading a first hand account of a Viking funeral this morning.

In this particular example, they only burned one slave - and they would call for a VOLUNTEER! After she had volunteered, though, she couldn't change her mind. She had to have sex with all of the dead man's friends (which might take a while if the dead guy was in his seventies!) and then was strangled and stabbed simultaneously, with everyone playing the drums loudly to cover up her cries. (Apparently they didn't want to put off any other slaves who might volunteer in the future).

It was quite a disturbing ceremony, which would take quite a few days.

Two references to a very bizarre and obscure ceremony in a single day.

I wonder if fate is trying to tell me something ??

Mac

PattiTheWicked
10-19-2005, 04:57 PM
Have you read Eaters of the Dead by Michael Crichton? He describes this very thing.

From my understanding, it was considered a pretty big honor to get selected to go on to Valhalla with the chieftain. The Vikings had a rather different view of death than we do in contemporary society. As long as you went out with honor, there was nothing for people to grieve about. Kinda cool, actually.

brinkett
10-19-2005, 05:26 PM
As long as you went out with honor, there was nothing for people to grieve about.
Sounds like Klingons. ;)

On my tombstone, something I first read about in an article on designer coffins:

Returned to sender

or perhaps:

Oops

AdamH
10-19-2005, 05:47 PM
"Adam wuz here...Still is." And an arrow pointing down. :)



-Adam

poetinahat
10-19-2005, 05:48 PM
No tombstone -- instead, cover me with a parquet dance floor.

No tears allowed. Big outdoor party, great music, swimming and frisbee and whatnot, bonfire when the sun goes down. Toast me once (raucously), and nobody goes home 'lonely'.

Pat~
10-19-2005, 06:49 PM
"Now at peace,
No more to whine,
She finally gets
Her own byline."

--P.S.B.

Gehanna
10-19-2005, 07:06 PM
I want to be cremated and snorted.


Edit to add - In case I should suddenly kill over, I am just joking.

StoryG27
10-19-2005, 07:10 PM
"May I send you my completed manuscript?"

arrowqueen
10-20-2005, 12:39 AM
You lot are brilliant!

Jaycinth
10-20-2005, 12:45 AM
A vulture and a raven. When they die, I want them replaced.

astonwest
10-20-2005, 01:31 AM
You lot are briliiant!

That's a rather strange thing to put on a tombstone...

eldragon
10-20-2005, 01:52 AM
I.too, will be cremated.


But, just in case someone decides to ignore my wishes, they can use this "


'Hey! I wanted to be cremated!'


Or, how about:

"What are you looking at?"

or

"This isn't natural. Got a shovel?"

StoryG27
10-20-2005, 01:56 AM
I want a motion sensor connected to tiny, hidden speakers on my tombstone so anytime someone walks by they'll hear muffled screams and frantic scratching. My tombstone will read:
BURIED ALIVE

mkcbunny
10-20-2005, 02:00 AM
As long as you went out with honor, there was nothing for people to grieve about.
I wonder how the families of the strangled/stabbed volunteers felt?

Unique
10-20-2005, 02:07 AM
I want a motion sensor connected to tiny, hidden speakers on my tombstone so anytime someone walks by they'll hear muffled screams and frantic scratching. My tombstone will read:
BURIED ALIVE

You are so bad, Storygirl. They'll end up telling legends about you.

rhymegirl
10-20-2005, 02:10 AM
How about: There's Room For One More

Unique
10-20-2005, 02:10 AM
I want to be cremated and snorted.


Edit to add - In case I should suddenly kill over, I am just joking.

That's funny, Gehanna. I had a friend who wanted to be rolled and smoked. (Oh, and I had to bring potato salad to her funeral buffet.)

StoryG27
10-20-2005, 02:15 AM
You are so bad, Storygirl. They'll end up telling legends about you.
That's just about the nicest thing anyone has ever said about me. Makes me all teary eyed.

Pat~
10-20-2005, 03:29 AM
In case hubby doesn't like my poem, he may use this instead:

"She finally got that column in the paper."

veinglory
10-20-2005, 03:34 AM
"I guess you had to be there"

rtilryarms
10-20-2005, 05:06 AM
exhume at your own risk

Gabriele
10-20-2005, 05:06 AM
No tombstone for me. I want my ashes to be strewn into the Baltic Sea.

Shwebb
10-20-2005, 05:20 AM
I want to be freeze-dried. Then I want my headstone to say:


Soylent Green is PEOPLE!


(I know it sounds weird, but I'm sure it sounds really weird to those who have never seen the movie.) I also wouldn't mind having my headstone be a bench right across from Haskins, where those who do what he didn't tell them can have a seat and a cigarette afterwards.

PattiTheWicked
10-20-2005, 06:06 AM
I wonder how the families of the strangled/stabbed volunteers felt?

That was an honor too. It was considered a noble and wonderful thing to be selected.

robeiae
10-20-2005, 06:14 AM
I also wouldn't mind having my headstone be a bench right across from Haskins, where those who do what he didn't tell them can have a seat and a cigarette afterwards.
Ha-ha...Can my headstone be the tall ashtray next to the bench? KTC's headstone can be the trash bin (imagine what will be going in it).

Rob :)

watcher
10-20-2005, 06:25 AM
By God, I made it! I never thought I would!

Project nachonaco
10-20-2005, 06:58 AM
http://www.roce.org/atmofinal.jpg

poetinahat
10-20-2005, 07:21 AM
Return to Sender.

watcher
10-20-2005, 07:50 AM
Kristie


I feel like I'm missing out...on my crappy screen I can't read the words. What does it say?

__________________
HERE LIES WILLIAM HASKINS
PLEASE, NO MASTURBATING

(I'm William's secretary)

rtilryarms
10-20-2005, 02:49 PM
Return to Sender.

Certified male

Yeshanu
10-21-2005, 01:43 AM
Just my name and the dates: 1960 - 2160

(I figure that in 200 years, I should be able to get at least one novel written, edited and published...)

Scott Perry
10-21-2005, 02:04 AM
Scott Perry
1986-30,000,000.

Then I'll be happy.

maestrowork
10-21-2005, 02:54 AM
"Took One for the Team"

poetinahat
10-21-2005, 02:55 AM
YOU ARE HERE ------> O

arrowqueen
10-21-2005, 03:18 AM
I like that one:

'Remember me as you walk by,
as you are now so once was I,
as I am now, soon you will be,
Prepare yourself to follow me.'

That should put the fear of God in the buggers.

poetinahat
11-02-2005, 02:43 PM
Ooooohhhh,
We're the boys in the chorus,
we hope you liked our show
We know you're rootin' for us,
but now we have to gooooooooooo!

pianoman5
11-02-2005, 03:31 PM
As seen on a snooty maitre d's headstone:


GOD FINALLY CAUGHT HIS EYE

Fractured_Chaos
11-02-2005, 03:50 PM
In the immortal words of Depeche Mode:


I don't want to start any blasphemous rumours,
But I think that God has a sick sense of humour
And when I go,
I expect to find him laughing

Vincent
11-02-2005, 04:45 PM
I have a kind of juvenile desire to never require a tombstone.

Elincoln
11-02-2005, 05:21 PM
"Out being chased by Ghost Hunters. Be right back."Wonder if anyone would stick around?

williemeikle
11-02-2005, 05:31 PM
How about "I told you I was sick."

Spike Milligan already used that one....

I'll have: "Forgotten, but not gone."


Willie
http://www.willie.meikle.btinternet.co.uk

robeiae
08-09-2006, 08:43 PM
I thought of a good one for Ray:

"I'm naked in here!"

maestrowork
08-09-2006, 08:45 PM
I don't know what's scarier... Rob thinking up a good tombstone for me, or he dug up a 9-month old thread...

robeiae
08-09-2006, 08:46 PM
Can't you taste the irony?

Stew21
08-09-2006, 08:51 PM
I think "Can't you taste the irony" is probably a good one for you, rob! :D

maestrowork
08-09-2006, 08:53 PM
I think this is good for Rob:

"No more snorkeling for me"

Stew21
08-09-2006, 08:54 PM
"I went deep and didn't make it back."

davids
08-09-2006, 09:14 PM
Lobster anyone? My avatar is above this

C.bronco
08-09-2006, 09:20 PM
"Have a nice day :)"

Robert Toy
08-09-2006, 09:21 PM
He was wrong

MidnightMuse
08-09-2006, 09:32 PM
Solve my murder,
Win a Million dollars.

dpaterso
08-09-2006, 09:54 PM
In very small print, "What the f**k are you looking at?" And a spring-loaded stone in the shape of my head that jumps up and butts the nosy b*stard.

(Traditional Scottish greeting.)

-Derek
My Web Page - shameless vampyre fiction & other shameless writings. (http://hometown.aol.co.uk/DPaterson57)
You made me have a bowel movement in my britches. I ain't never gonna forgive you for that.

Shadow_Ferret
08-09-2006, 10:11 PM
I always thought it would be funny to have a system set up so that at my funeral the people would come to view the body, they'd step on this sensor that would activate this pneumatic device that would pop my body up with a sound effect going, "Ha! I still got the last word in!"

DeborahM
08-09-2006, 10:12 PM
I always said,
Write it and it will come!

Raiyah
08-09-2006, 10:16 PM
For me:

"Here lay Ms. Raiyah Haider and her collection of shoes"

Angelinity
08-09-2006, 10:23 PM
she thought she could write

maestrowork
08-09-2006, 10:30 PM
"Paper cuts do kill"

Jaycinth
08-10-2006, 12:08 AM
Nothing.
But inside my tombstone I'd like laser sensors, trip wires and 400 lbs of some very interesting explosives.

TsukiRyoko
08-10-2006, 12:12 AM
My headstone will read either "Critique this!" And have a picture of me smacking my butt and sticking out my tongue, "Dig here", or "See you again, space cowboy" with a picture of Faye Valentine rocking that jumpsuit.


or maybe...
"Here she lies, yet there she goes. Again."

TeddyG
08-10-2006, 12:15 AM
Life though I love you, I leave you for now
My mission done, my days complete
Only one thing do I regret
That my family and friends may sorrow at my passing
For in that sorrow I may harm

Yet, maybe in Death
We can teach the living
Each moment in life is a treasure unto itself
May it be that one day the world
Will be brimming with life, happiness and beauty
Death will loose it’s companions and close it’s doors
Condemned to wander aimlessly
In the shadow it has created for itself

(Excerpt from prose I wrote many years ago though the thoughts have not changed)

Robert Toy
08-10-2006, 12:16 AM
Nothing.
But inside my tombstone I'd like laser sensors, trip wires and 400 lbs of some very interesting explosives.
Keep that up and I will resurrect “Are Women as Dangerous as Men”

deacon
08-10-2006, 12:38 AM
cremation.
plaque: blowin' in the wind

Elizabeth Slick
08-10-2006, 02:56 AM
cheese, pepperoni, tomato sauce, mushrooms and onions, just please, NO anchovies.

TrainofThought
08-10-2006, 03:13 AM
Bestselling Author of “Always Right, Never Wrong”
Sequel Coming Soon “Last Words - Get off my Grave!”

clockwork
08-10-2006, 03:29 AM
"Buried at sea - nobody told you?"

TsukiRyoko
08-10-2006, 04:24 AM
"...You're talking to a headstone..."

arrowqueen
08-10-2006, 04:36 AM
Good heavens. How ironic. My thread's been resurrected!

TsukiRyoko
08-10-2006, 04:42 AM
Good heavens. How ironic. My thread's been resurrected!

"Warning, don't water. May pop back to life."

robeiae
08-10-2006, 04:51 AM
Good heavens. How ironic. My thread's been resurrected!Yeah, somebody's got a weird sense of humor...



(but it's a good thread)

K1P1
08-10-2006, 05:35 AM
Sausage and Pepperoni...

OMG. I saw this and snorted out my martini. Love it.

whistlelock
08-10-2006, 06:14 AM
"Tag, you're it."

whistlelock
08-10-2006, 06:20 AM
"You've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya punk?”

writerterri
08-10-2006, 06:22 AM
Pepperoni and mushroom with extra cheese.

whistlelock
08-10-2006, 06:31 AM
The Peeps were sucessful in plotting my demise.

wyntermoon
08-10-2006, 07:24 AM
I'm with Stupid --->

TsukiRyoko
08-10-2006, 07:37 AM
:roll:

deacon
08-10-2006, 08:46 AM
"Well. sh!t !!!

My-Immortal
08-10-2006, 08:51 AM
"Well. sh!t !!!

Would that be a command or a statement? :)

deacon
08-10-2006, 08:52 AM
Would that be a command or a statement? :)

at that point it wouldn't matter :D

My-Immortal
08-10-2006, 08:55 AM
at that point it wouldn't matter :D

deacon will have the greenest grass growing over his grave.... :)

deacon
08-10-2006, 09:00 AM
deacon will have the greenest grass growing over his grave.... :)

nah, i don't think anyone would be able to go with a dead guy starin' at 'em. ;)

My-Immortal
08-10-2006, 09:02 AM
nah, i don't think anyone would be able to go with a dead guy starin' at 'em. ;)

I can't tell if that's a dare or a challenge.... :)

TrickyFiction
08-10-2006, 09:05 AM
I don't know what I would want, but my mother says she's going to have, "It isn't my fault," carved into my tombstone. Apparently, she's pretty confident that she's going to outlive me.

BardSkye
08-10-2006, 10:41 AM
"Her last words were: 'What happens if I push this -- oops.'"

billythrilly7th
08-10-2006, 11:40 AM
Here lies the body
of Billy Thrilly
He had one million posts
And a giant willy

(if I'm buried in England)

oswann
08-10-2006, 01:01 PM
"You should see the other guy"



Os.

dobiwon
08-10-2006, 03:48 PM
1946 - 2045
Infinity minus 99
...and counting

Nicholas S.H.J.M Woodhouse
08-10-2006, 06:44 PM
'its down to you now mate', or
'cheese is mouldy milk. smell my cheese you mother!', or
'after the show is the after-party', or
do not disturb, or
this guy was a real ****, or
make love on me, please. or
pull my finger

wyntermoon
08-10-2006, 07:17 PM
nah, i don't think anyone would be able to go with a dead guy starin' at 'em. ;)

ROFL!

ew.

jvc
08-10-2006, 07:21 PM
I though one of the best ones was - "I told you I was ill"

I think (someone can correct me if I'm wrong) it was Spike Milligan.

jvc
08-10-2006, 07:23 PM
I would like on mine - "Author of the 10 most successful novels - ever."

Shadow_Ferret
08-10-2006, 07:30 PM
You're...standing...on....my...airhole!

NightWynde
08-10-2006, 07:31 PM
"Here's hoping I didn't die as painfully as my characters did"

or

"I don't stand on your bed, please don't stand on mine."

or

"GET ME OUTTA HERE!"

or

"I'd rather be writing, swimming, horseback riding, backpacking, anything but this"

or

"Y'know, in the right light, the Grim Reaper doesn't look all that bad."

or

"Out haunting"

or

"Could you do me a favor? I've been lying like this for years and I've got such a crick in my neck. Could you dig me up and take care of it. Thanks."

or

"Just lyin' here until I figure out something better to do."

or

"Am I a zombie yet? If no, leave flowers. If yes, leave brains."

or

"Could someone turn on a light? It's dark in here."

I've got more, but I think I'll stop now.

dobiwon
08-10-2006, 07:33 PM
"No one told me it was going to be so dark.
Do you have a spare night-light?"

[NightWynde: Sorry, I wasn't trying to piggy-back on yours. Your post came up as I was writing mine, and I didn't see it until after I posted.]

Haggis
08-10-2006, 07:45 PM
http://www.izzy.net/%7Esmbmark/tombstone.jpg