I have decided I don't care

I mean it. Admittedly, I am really drunk. But heres the thing. The last two years every incidental person I;ve met has done their best to persuade me that the basic person I am is worthless. That I'm weird, and unlikeanle.

I have died my hair back ti scarlet, got drunk, and decided this is ture. Fuck them. I am aweosme, wether or not people like me. I am clever. anf funny, and talented, and pretty. I will not be bound by the rules of some self-obseesed, smalle souled idiiots.

M,y depression is lifitng because I;ve realised who I am and who I am doesn't care.

you probably don;t either. That's fine. I just needed to tell someone outside of my circle of firends.
I'm free.
fuck their small, normarive view of the world. I am excellent just the way I am.
apologies for mispeling. I m haf a bottle of vodka down.

I have barely drunk the last year, partly because I have stayed in my house for the last year all 'i am scared, please don't hate me'

I recently had a bit of a break down by which I mean I was too scared to do anything.

This may be false courage, but I am actually pretty awesome.
I am giving myself a drunk tonight, as it has honestly taken me several gym sessions and some booze to make me realise that I'm actually pretty great.

Also. my liver can handle it.

It sounds weird and defensive to say, but I have a terrifying alcohol tolerance. I'm fine, just emotional and honest, which as I'm british is terrifying. My husband spent the 90's drunk, and he taught me well.

Goddamn emotions. I should suppress them, like a proper british person.

I love you.

edit: I don't care about bigamy; marry me.

Other edit\; despite the general belief of my friends, am honest. Ask me about having a breakdown, those of you who havent (I doubt I'm alone)

The last 24 months, in phrases:
" you can't dye your hair that colour"
"Whar are you so weird?"
"my aunt died; I didn;t have anytime off work."
"Want to take a ride home in my car?" (boss)
"You've gained a lot of weight since you started here."
"we're sorry about your mental issues; but we're gonna have to let you go."
Fuck em.

I'm getting back to mysef, and myself is not someone they'd mess with.

ah, bless. This is normal saturday drunken for my friends.

Hubby will be home soon, and he'll laugh at me. I can't drive, so there's no driving fear. Like a lot of people with my intelligence I am aware of how drunk I am yet enjoying it at the same time.

It's been years since I've felt able to let go this much. Isn;t that sad? I'm only 25.

regardless, to save my blushes. I apologise for drunk emotionalism/offense. and wish to remind you that I'm great, regardless of your initial impressions.

After all, I only have a third of a bottle left and I can STILL spell 'impressions'.
also, can I show you my epic new hair? Together with terrible facial expression?

scarletpeaches said:

How the hell do you get your hair that colour? Every time I bleach mine to colour it, the red never holds and it goes orange.

WHAT IS YOUR SECRET?!

Click to expand...

Ok.
I'm naturally mousy blondish brown
for this colour I stripped the ten years of 'natural' reddish dyes I'd applied.


Then I bleached it

The I dyed it with Schawzhckopf 'live' 'real red'.

The I applied Directions 'La riche' pillarbox red over the top.