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nocomposer
03-04-2011, 10:32 PM
Q: How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: It's a really obscure number you've probably never heard of.

Sad Soup-eating Girl
03-04-2011, 11:33 PM
I love lightbulb jokes.

Q: How many Palestinians does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None, they just sit in the dark and blame the Jews!

Chris P
03-04-2011, 11:36 PM
Q. How many women on PMS does it take to change a light bulb?

A. Three

Q. Why three?

A. It just does, okay?!? God you're an idiot!

MacAllister
03-04-2011, 11:37 PM
I love lightbulb jokes.

Q: How many Palestinians does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None, they just sit in the dark and blame the Jews!

And with that, I'm not just pretty sure we're being trolled, I'm positive.

Chris P
03-04-2011, 11:37 PM
Q. How any body builders does it take to change a light bulb?

A. Three. One to change the bulb and two to stand around and say "You're looking huge, man, you're looking huge!"

Lavern08
03-04-2011, 11:41 PM
Q. How many women on PMS does it take to change a light bulb?

A. Three

Q. Why three?

A. It just does, okay?!? God you're an idiot!


* Wonders why he ^ hasn't registed in the Old Farts thread yet? * :tongue

Chris P
03-04-2011, 11:43 PM
* Wonders why he ^ hasn't registed in the Old Farts thread yet? * :tongue

Q. How many 40 year old men does it take to change a light bulb?

A. I wouldn't know, I'm not 40. Um, yeah, for real. Do you buy it? Oh look! The first robin of spring! *points*

backslashbaby
03-05-2011, 03:35 AM
Insert your favorite regional rivalry:

How many Carolina students does it take to change a lightbulb?

Three. Two to get the keg, and one to phone daddy.

Cliff Face
03-05-2011, 04:08 AM
Q: How many quantum physicists does it take to change a lightbulb.

A: 4. 2 to build the machine that can generate velocities. 1 to do the calculations such that the known velocity coming from the machine distorts the position of the lightbulb, thus removing it, and then to do a replacement the same way. Did I say 4? Well, the last one might not be there. There's a large box in the room, and nobody wants to change what's inside by observing it, but the 4th one might be in there.

...

Yeah. That might just be the worst-told lightbulb joke ever...

Goldenleaves
03-05-2011, 04:09 AM
How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Gahhh. I'll do it later.

mccardey
03-05-2011, 04:12 AM
How many psychologists does it take to change a lightglobe?

One - but it has to really want to change...

Goldenleaves
03-05-2011, 04:14 AM
How many health and safety experts does it take to change a lightbulb?
Following the risk assessment and ordering the specially designed helmet, gloves and protective suite and - what are you doing? Don't light that candle

mccardey
03-05-2011, 04:14 AM
(And this one is for all the scriptwriters....)

How many film producers does it take to change a lightglobe?

First of all, does it have to be a lightglobe?

cooeedownunder
03-05-2011, 04:38 AM
How many aussie men does it take to change a lightglobe?

Five. One to climb on the chair, one to pass him the globe, another to hold the chair, and another to catch him if he falls, while the fifth stands back holding a beer and cheering them on.

Mr Flibble
03-05-2011, 04:44 AM
8, plus natives.



Scotty will report to Captain Kirk that the light bulb in the Engineering Section is burnt out, to which Kirk will send Bones to pronounce the bulb dead.

Scotty, after checking around, notices that they have no more new light bulbs, and complains that he can't see in the dark to tend to his engines. Kirk must make an emergency stop at the next uncharted planet, Alpha Regula IV, to procure a light bulb from the natives.

Kirk, Spock, Bones, Sulu, and 3 red shirt security officers beam down. The 3 security officers are promptly killed by the natives, and the rest of the landing party is captured.

Meanwhile, back in orbit, Scotty notices a Klingon ship approaching and must warp out of orbit to escape detection.

Bones cures the native king who is suffering from the flu, and as a reward the landing party is set free and given all of the light bulbs they can carry.

Scotty cripples the Klingon ship and warps back to the planet just in time to beam up Kirk et. Al .

The new bulb is inserted, and the Enterprise continues with its five year mission.

nocomposer
03-05-2011, 06:03 AM
some good ones!!

muse
03-06-2011, 12:16 AM
How many grad students does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but it takes ten years.

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
Two: One to hold the giraffe and one to put the clocks in the bathtub.

How many telemarketers does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but she has to do it while you're eating dinner.

How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but it takes three visits.

How many communists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None ... the bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution!

How many real estate agents does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten, but we'll accept eight.

Bmwhtly
03-06-2011, 12:48 AM
And with that, I'm not just pretty sure we're being trolled, I'm positive.Be fair, though, Mac. For a troll, it does have good taste in usernames.

Chris P
03-06-2011, 01:33 AM
How many star athletes does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. He stands with the bulb in the air and the world revolves around him.

Button
03-06-2011, 07:35 AM
How many Buttons does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one. I know, I know. One isn't enough for the world, but it'll have to do. ;)

Cliff Face
03-06-2011, 09:25 AM
How many singers at a musical convention does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one. But first you've got to figure out who hit the high note that shattered it in the first place...

Victoria
03-06-2011, 10:20 AM
One of my favorite jokes, alas, not a lightbulb one...

What is the last thing to go through a bug's mind when it hits a windshield?

Its ass.

cooeedownunder
03-06-2011, 10:47 AM
:ROFL: But, but that's cheating :D

Cliff Face
03-06-2011, 03:32 PM
How many cheaters does it take to change a lightbulb?

First you need the manager to notice the three lightbulbs up each of their sleeves, then get them sentenced to community service of changing lightbulbs in inner-city schools.

seun
03-07-2011, 08:10 PM
If anyone watched Mad Dogs which recently finished on UK TV, there was a good lightbulb joke in the first episode. Not sure if I can post it without getting in trouble, so best if I don't.