View Full Version : Looking for a Beta - BURNING EDEN

03-03-2011, 02:52 AM
Hey guys,

I'm looking for a beta on my fantasy novel complete at 130,000 words.

Let me know if you're interested and have the time. I'm rerunning over the typos for the 3rd time so you can basically ignore whatever typos are there. Just go with plot, character devo., plot holes, the grip, etc.

I've had a hardcopy beta read and they loved it immensely. The plot is complex and hard to explain (which I'm trying to work on with the QT crowd).

Here is my "working query" which I haven't been able to post on AW because of my limited posts but I'm working on it. And my ORIGINAL QUERY is below that.


When Brigadier General Sadi Chesearean is declared an enemy of the Empire for staging an assassination against the powerful man who killed her mother, she doesn’t expect to come face to face with the lover who abandoned her years before. In fact, she expects to complete her mission without interruption. Though when her own name shows up as the next target on her list, it does well to dissuade her course.

When Sadi and her former beau are nearly assassinated by the same man whose continuous meddling now threatens the free world, she quickly realizes the pieces are being staged so that she takes the fall.

As every able hand scrambles to claim their bounty, the only one to succeed is the leader of the nation damned by the Empire’s holy goddess. The antithesis of the Arganian Empire’s vast aqueducts and sprawling forests, Azkadra is a vile, desert wasteland that even the gods have abandoned. Or so, the world believed.

When Sadi finds herself lured into the hallowed realm where the gods dwell between the worlds, she unknowingly becomes Azkadra’s crowning glory as she stumbles upon the key to Argana’s damnation. With time racing against her, she struggles to correct her wrongdoing before both her people and those that she love face extinction.

Complete at 130,000 words, BURNING EDEN is an epic fantasy novel that asks at what cost does redemption come, and what happens to us should we fail?


Two thousand years ago the gate to the Níuheimir, the Nine Worlds, shattered in a single instant forcing Arielle, the goddess of Argana and guardian of the gate, to seal her protégé and elected successor into eternal damnation in a single instant.

Now, millennia later, Sadi Chesearean; Brigadier General of the Havandir, the Holy Light of Argana's empirical guard, believes the most difficult task of her military career is assassinating the corrupt council surrounding her mother's death. Although it isn't until the strings of fate begin to move that she realizes her family's past may have its hand dipped in a conspiracy millennia in the making, one that is great enough that it will shatter the foundation of what she knows to be true or worse: the world.

While the path to revenge is tumultuous and kind to none, it is within her companions that her resolve will stand unwavering and unyielding as she protects them even with her life. As she treads upon the hallowed realm where the gods stand to lose everything she stands to gain, she will be the only one to sway destiny's swift hand into salvation for all or complete annihilation.


Thanks guys! :hi:

03-03-2011, 06:15 AM
Sounds intersting. I wouldn't mind giving it a go. ;)