A comma or an em dash?

My inexperienced 2bits...

The first one. The comma in the second one only comes across as a pause...not what you want, and the em dashes seems like some other narrator stepped in and embellished the first narrator.


ETA: Maybe this because it is a convoluted sentence but the comma still seems out of place.

A series of voters in the first and second district was called and, over continual defense objections, testified about the forcing of votes for the remainder of the day.

Can you shorten or split it?

Shouldn't that be "were called"?

"Series of voters" seems slightly odd to me. Perhaps "group of voters" or something similar? I have no idea what "forcing of votes" actually means.

And, to keep it simple, I would probably just use a comma after and.

You could also rewrite it:

For the remainder of the day, a series of voters in the first and second district were called and testified about the forcing of votes, even though there were persistent objections by the defense.

Just an idea.

I agree. I think it should be were if you're using the word 'series'. Also, should it not be 'from' the first and second districts?

As for structure, I'd stick with the commas. alleycat's example is what I'd go for.

You can use the dashes or put a comma after and (not after called). It's over continual defense objection that is the interrupting phrase and gets surrounded by punctuation.

A series of voters in the first and second district was called and, over continual defense objections, testified about the forcing of votes for the remainder of the day.

Series…was is correct (series is singular), but voters is likely to throw readers off and make them question it. Maybe something like "Dozens of voters…were called."

Plot Device said:

A series of voters in the first and second district were called and--over continual defense objections--testified about the forcing of votes for the remainder of the day.

Click to expand...

Well, first, you should have the "was" being "were" like I put in purple. Just so the plural matches up (if you take out the prep. phrase 'of voters in the first and second district', it'd sound better as 'A series were called'. I would go with the em dashes because the over continual defense objections isn't really needed, but it seems better than with commas. By taking the phrase out of the dashes (completely. Pretend it's not there.) it flows better. Of course, I'm kind of a more em dash person

I thought was was correct...a series was as opposed to voters were.



ETA: But you could start the sentence with Voters were called... and not lose a thing.

Series is singular. The World Series IS held every year.

The reason to change the sentence is not that it is incorrect but that readers may stumble over it and wonder about the grammar.

Definately the first one.

I liked alleycat's suggestion, but I got the feeling a bit more contempt is called for in the sentence ...For the remainder of the day, a series of voters in the first and second district were called and testified about the forcing of votes, despite the persistent objections by the defense.

I guess the answer would be whether it's meant to be a subjective or objective statement.

I'd rephrase "for the remainder of the day."

I know people use it this way, and this usage is becoming more frequent, but to me "remainder" is similar to "majority" in that it shouldn't be used with a word like "day."

Again, this is my personal preference and not necessarily a grammar issue (it's quite possible I'm wrong, and I'm admitting that in the hopes of avoiding a dogpile), but for whatever reason this usage of "remainder" has always set my teeth on edge.

remainderization

I'll agree, 'the rest of the day.' is perfectly good.
use lil wds. not bigs uns if u can.