Conversation misstarters

EFCollins

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Let's play a game. Give us sentences that would catch you off-guard, make you go "Hmm." or laugh inappropriately if you walked into a room and heard it used unattached to any particular conversation. They can be real lines you've been struck funny by or ones you make up yourself... though if you use things from games and movies, please credit it, please, please, please.

I'll start.

"Oh my God you look just like my Peter." ~ said by old woman on the video game "Red Dead Redemption"

"I thought it was kind of weird the other day when my dad mounted his cat." ~said by my young cousin
 

alleycat

Still around
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One I've heard of . . .

There was a woman who used "secs" as a shortened version of "seconds" at mealtime. One day her daughter brought her young man home for dinner.

During the meal the mother asked the boyfriend, "Do you want secs?"
 

poetinahat

say it loud
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At the record shop:
"Hey, are you into AC/DC?"
"Not really, I'm a big Tool fan."
 

Devil Ledbetter

Come on you stranger, you legend,
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"Daddy finally got it up today."

My mother at pub, overheard by my friend who didn't realize my mom was referring to the Christmas tree.
 

Caitlin Black

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"So I killed him with a shovel, then took his money, then he came back as a zombie and..."

Or variations thereof, always uttered by teenaged boys hanging out near video game stores.
 

Callista Melaney

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"I don't shave down there." -which was said by my sister's friend referring to a mysterious scar on her ankle.
 

Mr Flibble

They've been very bad, Mr Flibble
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WARNING - NOT FOR THE SENSITIVE! SERIOUSLY! I so wish this one wasn't true. Said to a mate of mine by a lady at least thirty years his senior as he stood at the bar: 'You look just like my son. I'd like to sleep with you like I used to sleep with him....' Followed by a lewd wink. Even Usain Bolt never moved as fast as my mate did!
 

milly

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my 5 year old daughter

"mom, I keep blowing on this but it won't get bigger"

as she tried to inflate a miniature beach ball

:)
 

EFCollins

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Several years ago, when my husband and I first moved in together (we were only dating then) and we were young... spry... full of lust. You know how it is.

My phone just refused to stop ringing. Finally after the fourth call that just kept ringing and ringing and ringing... I picked it up. Pre journey's end. So I was not happy. I screamed into the phone, "Would you PLEASE stop calling, I am TRYING to have sex!"

Much to my embarrassment... it was my best friend's younger sister (she was 16, so... it wasn't sooo bad) wanting to borror a shirt of mine she loved. Needless to say, I didn't visit them for a few days. *blush*