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MacAllister
02-20-2011, 12:00 AM
I've thought for years I should post some of the weirder stuff that shows up in my email, just for everyone's general amusement -- sort of a "From the Mailbag" kind of a thread.

Then I got this today, from someone who quite clearly has too much time on their hands. It was just too funny to not share it with all of y'all:

On Feb 19, 2011, at 11:46 AM, <info@crooksforchrist.net> <info@crooksforchrist.net> wrote:

Our "Crook For Christ" profile next week will be that of the great slime ball MacAllister Stone. Ms. Stone is the owner/moderator of www.absolutewrite.com where she promotes false and damaging information about innocent people! She is truly the worst of the worst when it comes to human life! Ms. Stone will also be our opening guest when we launch our newest site in about two weeks at www.theworstpeople.com Ms. Stone is a deaf ear to those who ask for her to stand up to people when they use her site www.absolutewrite.com to launch destructive campaigns to try and destroy the reputations of those who do in fact treat people fair and honest. Ms. Stone is by all accounts a "domestic terrorist" promoting the destruction of innocent reputations! Please join us next week when we welcome Ms. Stone!

Till then,

The Staff At www.crooksforchrist.com


It is, by the way, perfectly appropriate to point and laugh.

Kateness
02-20-2011, 12:03 AM
Yes, those dirty agents/publishers definitely don't deserve to have their scams uncovered!

Please, someone, think of the scamsters, for god's sake!

stormie
02-20-2011, 12:09 AM
I just had to click through. :roll:

Are they for real?!

akaSylvia
02-20-2011, 12:09 AM
Wow, seriously? That's a bizarre attempt at an insult! Domestic terrorist? Really?

Bubastes
02-20-2011, 12:09 AM
:points and laughs:

CheekyWench
02-20-2011, 12:11 AM
just... wow. That's impressive!



:popcorn:

regdog
02-20-2011, 12:12 AM
http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l117/regdog/tuzki-bunny-emoticon-048.gif

evilrooster
02-20-2011, 12:13 AM
Oh, bless (as it were).


This is a forum where you can call attention to the people that operate as crooks in the Church.

Thing is, though I have great fondness and reverence for you, I had no idea AW was a church.

I know. Silly of me.

Say, do you sell indulgences?

Jersey Chick
02-20-2011, 12:13 AM
**points**

**laughs**

**hurts self from too much laughing**

**doesn't care**

MacAllister
02-20-2011, 12:14 AM
Usually, I at least have some idea who the bizarre stuff is from. In this case, I'm still laughing too hard to start investigating the headers, even.

regdog
02-20-2011, 12:15 AM
Oh, bless (as it were).



Thing is, though I have great fondness and reverence for you, I had no idea AW was a church.

I know. Silly of me.

Say, do you sell indulgences?

I sell passes to the pool on the roof

Sophia
02-20-2011, 12:15 AM
Do you think they'd mind if I contacted them to say it should be "treat people fairly and honestly?" I could direct them to the Grammar and Syntax forum, too.

Mr Flibble
02-20-2011, 12:16 AM
You're a domestic terrorist? Who for? The Authors Liberation Front Army League for Not Getting Scammed? Oh, I know, it's the People's Front of Judea!

Or Bookwriters Offence League Likes Oppressing Conartist Know-nothings. Sadly (or not) the acronym is Bollock.

Pro tip: Hiding explosives in your bra can be dangerous and is not recommended. ;)

amergina
02-20-2011, 12:17 AM
:Wha:

That's... odd.

alleycat
02-20-2011, 12:17 AM
13 guests (probably us clicking the link), no users.

Should make for an interesting debate.

Boston Steve
02-20-2011, 12:18 AM
Do you think they'd mind if I contacted them to say it should be "treat people fairly and honestly?" I could direct them to the Grammar and Syntax forum, too.

Grammar Nazi. :tongue

StoryG27
02-20-2011, 12:18 AM
"the great slime ball"
That is simply poetic. Almost good enough for a new user title.

Snowstorm
02-20-2011, 12:20 AM
I'm relieved that you're taking this in stride, MacAllister. I'm swinging between being livid for you and being stunned into disbelief.

Old Hack
02-20-2011, 12:22 AM
NOT FAIR! I didn't get one. I guess I'm just small-fry compared to you on the Worst People scale.

*points*

*laughs*

*wonders who else will appear on this website and considers alerting Victoria*

evilrooster
02-20-2011, 12:23 AM
To be fair, it's not certain that that the brethren on that forum have any connection with that charming missive. They may just be looking at their traffic spike and saying wtf*?

-----
* what the Father?

Smish
02-20-2011, 12:23 AM
:e2point:

evilrooster
02-20-2011, 12:26 AM
I sell passes to the pool on the roof

I would think that a roof pool would be a useful boost for the market for indulgences.

cryaegm
02-20-2011, 12:26 AM
But wait. You're not a moderator.

They can't even keep their facts straight. So disappointing. *Snubs them.*

Btw, what terrible things have you said about them? :tongue

Medievalist
02-20-2011, 12:28 AM
It makes me long for the now defunct MacAllister Stone Writes With Her Fangs.

alleycat
02-20-2011, 12:28 AM
Do you think they'd mind if I contacted them to say it should be "treat people fairly and honestly?" I could direct them to the Grammar and Syntax forum, too.
You might want to point out the overuse of exclamation points to them while you're at it!

Medievalist
02-20-2011, 12:30 AM
Personally, I think it's always a good idea to explore the port situation on a new site.

scarletpeaches
02-20-2011, 12:31 AM
Sheesh. And all I get is Nigerian princes offering to increase the size of my tumescent love-length if I wire them my bank details.

evilrooster
02-20-2011, 12:34 AM
Personally, I think it's always a good idea to explore the port situation on a new site.

Be nice. They might be dupes roped in for effect.

I'd start with the headers on the email.

tiny
02-20-2011, 12:36 AM
I'm jealous. Official titles always look good on a resume.

Medievalist
02-20-2011, 12:36 AM
Be nice. They might be dupes roped in for effect.

I'd start with the headers on the email.

Sorry, I meant to say the Port situation in a new city.

Mind, I also like Sherry.

ksbaby
02-20-2011, 12:37 AM
First of all, crooks for christ? Don't we see enough of them on T.V. speaking in tongue on Sundays?
But seriously, I don't know how Mac can qualify as one. It's beyond.... (can't finish)

KatieT
02-20-2011, 12:37 AM
I just shook my head while reading that.

Nothing surprises me on the internet anymore. Everyone is fair game.

MacAllister
02-20-2011, 12:37 AM
I'm actively hoping for a follow-up. How much time d'ya think someone is actually going to put into carrying on with this? It's almost as funny as the old "MacAllister Stone Writes With Her Fangs" site was.

Ambrosia
02-20-2011, 12:41 AM
Could it be a joke? I realize it's not April Fool's Day yet, but it has all the makings of an April Fool's Day joke.

Old Hack
02-20-2011, 12:45 AM
I don't remember the "MacAllister Stone Writes With Her Fangs" thing. I have missed out on so much.

I MUST remember to spend more time on teh intarwebz.

PattiTheWicked
02-20-2011, 12:45 AM
Jesus wept.

Scribhneoir
02-20-2011, 12:51 AM
Crooks for Christ? :e2smack: So Christ is now head of a crime ring? :roll:


Mac, you will let us know which scammer this turns out to be, won't you?

BenPanced
02-20-2011, 12:55 AM
Jesus wept.
He LOL'd so much.

BenPanced
02-20-2011, 12:55 AM
Personally, I think it's always a good idea to explore the port situation on a new site.
Personally, I prefer a good cider.

Rowan
02-20-2011, 12:57 AM
Wow... Mac is famous:


Ms. Stone will also be our opening guest when we launch our newest site in about two weeks...


What an honor! ;) How'd you beat out all the other "slime balls", aka: people who tirelessly devote their time and effort into helping others?


Posted by Medievalist:
Sorry, I meant to say the Port situation in a new city.

Mind, I also like Sherry.
Priority: check out wine situation in every new city. Stat.<!-- / message --><!-- sig -->

JoNightshade
02-20-2011, 01:01 AM
This reads to me like some sort of scam letter to get you to log into their site and protest for... some reason.

MacAllister
02-20-2011, 01:05 AM
Someone really has registered both domains, via GoDaddy, through a Domains-by-Proxy WhoIs mask. Maybe they'll really follow through with it! That would be AWESOME!

MacAllister
02-20-2011, 01:08 AM
Crooks for Christ? :e2smack: So Christ is now head of a crime ring? :roll:


Mac, you will let us know which scammer this turns out to be, won't you?

Oh definitely. This is the sort of thing that whoever it is won't be able to resist bragging about, somewhere, sooner or later. Then it'll leak to the greater Netosphere.

scarletpeaches
02-20-2011, 01:10 AM
Wow, Buster. You must be, like, totes evil to inspire such hate. What did you do this morning? Kick a puppy? Burn down an orphanage?

MacAllister
02-20-2011, 01:11 AM
I ate an entire litter of kittens, still alive, on buttered wheat toast.

Then burned down an orphanage.

scarletpeaches
02-20-2011, 01:12 AM
I ate an entire litter of kittens, still alive, on buttered wheat toast.

Then burned down an orphanage.You're fucking hardcore evil then!

MacAllister
02-20-2011, 01:13 AM
I keep trying to explain that to people. But they just sorta smile and nod.

Izz
02-20-2011, 01:15 AM
Betcha i know who it is (or relates to). And no, it's not me :D

alleycat
02-20-2011, 01:18 AM
I ate an entire litter of kittens, still alive, on buttered wheat toast.
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Oqb4XJTDGUc/SYCzIGzfAgI/AAAAAAAAAHE/o0ceUxJwuJg/s320/surprised-cat.jpg

scarletpeaches
02-20-2011, 01:19 AM
I keep trying to explain that to people. But they just sorta smile and nod.You need to grade AWers then according to their relative evilness.

I suggest (in ascending order of evilness-level):

Sycophants
Minions
Henchmen
Acolytes

Boston Steve
02-20-2011, 01:21 AM
Ooh, can I be a minion? I've always wanted to be a minion.

scarletpeaches
02-20-2011, 01:22 AM
That's only one step up from sycophancy, though. Are you sure you have enough chapstick to kiss that much ass?

CACTUSWENDY
02-20-2011, 01:22 AM
And what miffs me is....................................You granted an interview? Will this be an 'on the phone interview', or just a 'email interview'? (Inquiring minds want to know.)

What time of the month is the collection plate passed? (I want to make sure I have the right change to put in.)

Is clothing attire of any special kind required? (Need to make sure my laundry is done.)

Any chance of a potluck after 'services'? (I have to eat every few hours to keep up my strength.)

Jersey Chick
02-20-2011, 01:23 AM
I ate an entire litter of kittens, still alive, on buttered wheat toast.

Then burned down an orphanage.
An orphanage with orphans and puppies in it, no doubt.

evilrooster
02-20-2011, 01:24 AM
You're fucking hardcore evil then!

Ah, nonsense. Buttered wheat toast? White toast with margarine is what we serve in the Evil Club.

alleycat
02-20-2011, 01:24 AM
An orphanage with orphans and puppies in it, no doubt.
And she kicked Haggis!





Oh, wait. Never mind.

scarletpeaches
02-20-2011, 01:27 AM
An orphanage with orphans and puppies in it, no doubt.An orphanage full of blind orphaned puppies.

MacAllister
02-20-2011, 01:31 AM
Ohhhh! An AWers Potluck would be AWESOME fun, wouldn't it?

Anaquana
02-20-2011, 01:31 AM
*emerges from her long absence just to point and laugh*

I seriously needed that laugh today.

cryaegm
02-20-2011, 01:35 AM
Wait, wait, wait.

Am I the only one who read it as "Cooks for Christ?"

I was so confused on what this had to do with cooking for Christ and MacAllister being a big ol' phony/evil witchdoctor.

Medievalist
02-20-2011, 01:35 AM
Ohhhh! An AWers Potluck would be AWESOME fun, wouldn't it?

Are you referring to the guests or the entrees?

Because it does make a difference. I ask only because you're all evil and stuff.

alleycat
02-20-2011, 01:35 AM
Ohhhh! An AWers Potluck would be AWESOME fun, wouldn't it?
Until someone started a discussion about prologues . . .

Izz
02-20-2011, 01:38 AM
Wait, wait, wait.

Am I the only one who read it as "Cooks for Christ?"
No, i read it that way too, initially. Made the ?huargh? even ?haurghier?

cryaegm
02-20-2011, 01:39 AM
No, i read it that way too, initially. Made the ?huargh? even ?haurghier?
And here I thought they were trying to be clever and disguise themselves as cooks, cooking for Christ. :( I'm so disappointed.

Jersey Chick
02-20-2011, 01:42 AM
An orphanage full of blind orphaned puppies.
three-legged blind orphaned puppies, I'm thinking.

JulieHowe
02-20-2011, 01:42 AM
Ohhhh! An AWers Potluck would be AWESOME fun, wouldn't it?

Not if you're fricasseeing the souls of innocent baby kittens and passing off the meat as filet mignon.

Ol' Fashioned Girl
02-20-2011, 01:42 AM
I object!

I've worked 57 years to reach the level of teh ebil Mac has apparently attained in one swell foop!

I'm going to go set up a site called 'bustermacisapoopoohead.com'.

alleycat
02-20-2011, 01:44 AM
three-legged blind orphaned puppies, I'm thinking.
three-legged blind orphaned puppies left out in the cold and rain . . .

Calla Lily
02-20-2011, 01:44 AM
Dammit, I escape the convent and get excommunicated by the RCC and now it turns out AW is a CULT?! How did I not see this? I know the cult signs!

*sigh* There must be something in the soothing blues of the forum. It implants subliminal keywords and turns us into proper-grammar-using writers.

So what's our uniform? And does everyone get to kick Haggis? Like, once a week after our mind-control refresher? Or should we just round up blind orphaned puppies for the next barn-burning?

Anaquana
02-20-2011, 01:45 AM
three-legged blind orphaned puppies left out in the cold and rain . . .

That makes them more tender, you know. :evil

BenPanced
02-20-2011, 01:46 AM
Until someone started a discussion about prologues . . .
Or first vs. third person.

scarletpeaches
02-20-2011, 01:46 AM
three-legged blind orphaned puppies, I'm thinking.With rickets and mange.

Cranky
02-20-2011, 01:46 AM
I'm speechless. Mostly because I'm laughing too hard to speak.

"Crooks for Christ". That totes needs to be on a bumper sticker. Well done, Mac, you slimeball terrorist you. :ROFL:

Mr Flibble
02-20-2011, 01:46 AM
So what's our uniform?

We're supposed to be wearing clothes? But the goat blood never comes out!

ETA: No, see, waning gibbous moon. Should never wear clothes on a waning gibbous moon. Or your ears fall off.

MacAllister
02-20-2011, 01:47 AM
I think a secret handshake is in order. OFG, Callalily? Can I put you guys on designing us one?

evilrooster
02-20-2011, 01:48 AM
Are you referring to the guests or the entrees?

Because it does make a difference. I ask only because you're all evil and stuff.

It does indeed make a difference; in the former scenario people get just desserts, while in the latter they get their just desserts.

scarletpeaches
02-20-2011, 01:48 AM
I always said Mac was an evil cult.

Sydneyd
02-20-2011, 01:49 AM
At this point I really hope you show us what else is in your mailbox. I could stop buying books altogether and turn to you for free entertainment.

MacAllister
02-20-2011, 01:51 AM
Sydney, most of the time I'm afraid it's just boring, run of the mill "You better delete that thread or I'll sue! You and yer little dog, too!!eleventy!" stuff. This one had some originality, though, so it was crying out to be shared.

Izz
02-20-2011, 01:51 AM
Or first vs. third person.Or anything relating to semicolon usage.

Sydneyd
02-20-2011, 01:51 AM
Sydney, most of the time I'm afraid it's just boring, run of the mill "You better delete that thread or I'll sue! You and yer little dog, too!!eleventy!" stuff. This one had some originality, though, so it was crying out to be shared.

There goes my dreams. Crook for Christ indeed.....

MacAllister
02-20-2011, 01:52 AM
Or anything relating to semicolon usage.

There's always "literary vs. genre" and the what constitutes passive voice...

BenPanced
02-20-2011, 01:53 AM
I always said Mac was an evil cult.
And if you know what's good for you, you'd better believe it.

Jersey Chick
02-20-2011, 01:53 AM
Are we sacrificing those poor puppies as well?

Izz
02-20-2011, 01:54 AM
There's always "literary vs. genre" and the what constitutes passive voice...*gasp* to bring both of those up at once truly is evil :evil

:chair

Ol' Fashioned Girl
02-20-2011, 01:55 AM
I think a secret handshake is in order. OFG, Callalily? Can I put you guys on designing us one?

Who better than the Pagan and the ex-Nun?

Calla Lily
02-20-2011, 01:56 AM
No, no, we're burning the puppy orphanages. We're sacrificing cuddly, deaf, paraplegic baby goats nder the gibbous moon while wearing only body paint in AW's colors.

Calla Lily
02-20-2011, 01:56 AM
Who better than the Pagan and the ex-Nun?

But of course. *ponders brief yet complex rituals*

Ol' Fashioned Girl
02-20-2011, 01:57 AM
There's always "literary vs. genre" and the what constitutes passive voice...

'Who' vs. 'that'... 'proper use of the comma'...

AlexPiper
02-20-2011, 01:57 AM
Then burned down an orphanage.

But it was self defense. The orphanage was clearly attacking! (http://www.lfgcomic.com/page/4)

Calla Lily
02-20-2011, 01:58 AM
The Serial Comma.

Anaquana
02-20-2011, 01:59 AM
No, no, we're burning the puppy orphanages. We're sacrificing cuddly, deaf, paraplegic baby goats nder the gibbous moon while wearing only body paint in AW's colors.

Ack! In my rewriting induced hazed I thought we were devouring the orphan puppies... *burps*

Mr Flibble
02-20-2011, 02:00 AM
At this point I really hope you show us what else is in your mailbox. I could stop buying books altogether and turn to you for free entertainment.


Ha anyone else got the urge to go to an internet cafe, use that other email address and see who came come up with the weirdest email to Mac? 'We of the Adverbs Must be Preserved Society insist your posters cease and desist with their vile insults against the poor, endangered adverb forthwith! Failure to comply will mean we thrillingly, spoofily, spiffingly, cringingly, litigiously, sillylyly and satiisfyingly sue your butt!!'



No?

MacAllister
02-20-2011, 02:00 AM
Ack! In my rewriting induced hazed I thought we were devouring the orphan puppies... *burps*

It looks like we're gonna need more orphan puppies. Who wants to volunteer?

Calla Lily
02-20-2011, 02:01 AM
The antacid is in the medicine cabinet, next to the Oxy-Cl3an (for removing the bloodstains).

Calla Lily
02-20-2011, 02:02 AM
It looks like we're gonna need more orphan puppies. Who wants to volunteer?

Haggis has a way with females.

Boston Steve
02-20-2011, 02:02 AM
But it was self defense. The orphanage was clearly attacking! (http://www.lfgcomic.com/page/4)

Well, not yet. But we had no indication they weren't about to, so a preemptive strike was clearly in order.

Mr Flibble
02-20-2011, 02:03 AM
It looks like we're gonna need more orphan puppies. Who wants to volunteer?

Haggis is quite small. He'd go nice with the neeps and tatties.

Snowstorm
02-20-2011, 02:03 AM
Oh, cool! A gathering of evil at AW ... I've always wanted to wear my pointy cowboy hat. I'll bring the deviled eggs.

scarletpeaches
02-20-2011, 02:03 AM
Who better than the Pagan and the ex-Nun?
No, no, we're burning the puppy orphanages. We're sacrificing cuddly, deaf, paraplegic baby goats nder the gibbous moon while wearing only body paint in AW's colors.I'm a lapsed Christian. Can I join in?

Calla Lily
02-20-2011, 02:05 AM
This will be the only meeting I've ever looked forward to, scarlet.

JulieHowe
02-20-2011, 02:08 AM
I'm going out to hunt for my dinner right now. Guess I should pick up a few extra rabbits. Roadkill, anyone?

Mr Flibble
02-20-2011, 02:09 AM
I'm a lapsed Christian. Can I join in?


Well, there's always a need for the person to do the thing with the entrails.

Boston Steve
02-20-2011, 02:12 AM
I'm going out to hunt for my dinner right now. Guess I should pick up a few extra rabbits. Roadkill, anyone?

Ooh... stewed bunneh... :drool

JulieHowe
02-20-2011, 02:13 AM
http://www.chicksonpowertrips.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/roadkill2.jpg

Sydneyd
02-20-2011, 02:13 AM
Ha anyone else got the urge to go to an internet cafe, use that other email address and see who came come up with the weirdest email to Mac? 'We of the Adverbs Must be Preserved Society insist your posters cease and desist with their vile insults against the poor, endangered adverb forthwith! Failure to comply will mean we thrillingly, spoofily, spiffingly, cringingly, litigiously, sillylyly and satiisfyingly sue your butt!!'



No?

Yes. :D

VP_Benni
02-20-2011, 02:15 AM
http://www.chicksonpowertrips.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/roadkill2.jpg

:roll:

~Amber~

JulieHowe
02-20-2011, 02:17 AM
Here is the photo which will at last get me banned forever from AW:

http://funnywebjokes.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/1-easter.jpg?w%3D470%26h%3D376

dgrintalis
02-20-2011, 02:20 AM
Wait, wait, wait.

Am I the only one who read it as "Cooks for Christ?"

I was so confused on what this had to do with cooking for Christ and MacAllister being a big ol' phony/evil witchdoctor.

Nope, I read it that way, too. Holy toast! :D

scarletpeaches
02-20-2011, 02:26 AM
/derail

Your hair looks utterly gorgeous in your avatar.

/rerail

Mr Flibble
02-20-2011, 02:26 AM
Yes. :D


Dear Ms Stone,

We of the People for the Rehabilitation of People Who Insist on Using Prologues have now received our government mandate to eliminate, er, forcibly rehabilitate anyone using a prologue. Please forward all details of known offenders, including but not limited to, name, address, DOB, telephone number, inside leg measurement (for coffin purposes), passport numbers, social security or other national ID number, birthmarks, scars, embarrassing incidents and sexual predilections. Offenders will be spirited away under the cover of darkness to a luxury 'resort' and will never darken your forums again. Or indeed reappear, except as fertiliser.

We eagerly await your reply.

Medievalist
02-20-2011, 02:27 AM
There's always "literary vs. genre" and the what constitutes passive voice...

Number of spaces after a period.

Courier vs TNR

MacAllister
02-20-2011, 02:28 AM
Dear Ms Stone,

We of the People for the Rehabilitation of People Who Insist on Using Prologues have now received our government mandate to eliminate, er, forcibly rehabilitate anyone using a prologue. Please forward all details of known offenders, including but not limited to, name, address, DOB, telephone number, inside leg measurement (for coffin purposes), passport numbers, social security or other national ID number, birthmarks, scars, embarrassing incidents and sexual predilections. Offenders will be spirited away under the cover of darkness to a luxury 'resort' and will never darken your forums again. Or indeed reappear, except as fertiliser.

We eagerly await your reply.
Heh - you've no idea how many letters demanding user-information like that I actually do get (maybe not the inseam, but otherwise...). Enough so that I have a boilerplate email reply that essentially says, "Show me a court order or else piss up a rope."

alleycat
02-20-2011, 02:30 AM
Number of spaces after a period.

Courier vs TNR
Who started this?






Oh. Never mind.

Izz
02-20-2011, 02:31 AM
You'll never take my Comic Sans!

Mr Flibble
02-20-2011, 02:31 AM
"Show me a court order or else piss up a rope."

It should actually say that. Much more fun :D

Old Hack
02-20-2011, 02:34 AM
Who said it doesn't?

Bookewyrme
02-20-2011, 02:34 AM
Holy cow, 5 pages in two hours?

Also...
*dies laughing at the letter* Some people...

Medievalist
02-20-2011, 02:36 AM
Be careful

The site and the forums are unsecured. It's an opportunity for someone to seed visitors with malware.

cryaegm
02-20-2011, 02:49 AM
You'll never take my Comic Sans!
*Hiss.* Not Comic Sans!

My eyes! Now how am I going to read and write on the internet? If I hear Comic Sans, I'll go deaf, too!

*Wish I had a custom emoticon that I use on MSN here. Would make it more worth it than talking about it.*

thothguard51
02-20-2011, 02:50 AM
Bet its someone who got banned recently...

Ol' Fashioned Girl
02-20-2011, 02:53 AM
I'm a lapsed Christian. Can I join in?

Absolutely! You know who to bring.

scarletpeaches
02-20-2011, 02:56 AM
Absolutely! You know who to bring.Satan, otherwise known as Gerry?

Cassiopeia
02-20-2011, 03:04 AM
Ohhhh! An AWers Potluck would be AWESOME fun, wouldn't it?I have a new recipe for Cream Potato and chicken soup...can I bring it?


Who better than the Pagan and the ex-Nun?
well, der...a Mormon :D

You'll never take my Comic Sans! OR MINE!

nicolane
02-20-2011, 03:06 AM
This forum has the best crazies!

Whenever I am feeling stupid I stroll on over and read some of the "Crazies" threads - In no time at all I begine to feel like Einsteins slightly brighter sister.

Thanks folks! and please pass me the popcorn?

alleycat
02-20-2011, 03:09 AM
That's crazy slime ball terrorists.

Ol' Fashioned Girl
02-20-2011, 03:11 AM
Satan, otherwise known as Gerry?

Wait... you mean... I really AM a Satanist?!?


well, der...a Mormon :D

Well, DER! :D Of course!


This forum has the best crazies!

Whenever I am feeling stupid I stroll on over and read some of the "Crazies" threads - In no time at all I begine to feel like Einsteins slightly brighter sister.

Thanks folks! and please pass me the popcorn?

:popcorn: Extra butter.

BenPanced
02-20-2011, 03:16 AM
Wait... you mean... I really AM a Satanist?!?
No, no! You're a SATIRIST. I believe Peachie misspelled it.

Medievalist
02-20-2011, 03:17 AM
I'd just like to point out, smugly, my user title.

You don't have to tell ME about a cult.

All you ever wanted to know about the gopher cult. (http://absolutewrite.net/forums/showthread.php?t=105896)

alleycat
02-20-2011, 03:19 AM
Or a SANTARIST, that's people who worship Santa Claus.

I was a Santarist when I was six.

Haupe
02-20-2011, 03:29 AM
http://cherrytart.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/crooks-for-christ-e1298158012305.png

EFCollins
02-20-2011, 03:34 AM
Man... why is my spam box so boring? All I ever get are male enhancement emails, The famous Nigeria emails (though I did get a new set of them recently that was the same old Nigeria scam with a twist. The sender was supposedly from the Federal Bureau of Investigations.... oh yeah, I'll get right on THAT once I find out when the US government started handing the FBI Nigerian money to send to people) and offers for Percocet and Vicodin at a fraction of the price!

Mac, being an Atheist, I find myself appalled to be part of your cult. I spurn religion, darn it! How am I supposed to spurn religion with any conviction if I worship at the altar of the MacMommy? You have ruined me as an Atheist. *tearsnifflesnot*

Just one question. Can I wear a robe? Not like a bathrobe, but like... you know... a monk-like type thing. I'll stay if I can have a robe. This cult can't be that bad if they let us wear cool robes and, you know... teach us to use proper grammar and practice good business techniques.

Cliff Face
02-20-2011, 03:35 AM
Say... who's doing the music for this Cult? I do a mean growl... Just sayin'.

...

Also, that e-mail immediately made me think of the thread which I read first out of any at this site. I found the site doing a search for reviews of Publish America, which seemed to be promising the world. Then I had my eyes opened by the fine people here (thank Satan!).

Anyway, that e-mail made me think of one of the statements by the leader of PA who was actively arguing with about 50 people here, but never on these boards - only in statements.

So my guess would be that whoever created that site is probably the owner of a scam-Publisher who has been outed here on AW.

...

Also, I too read it initially as "Cooks For Christ". But seriously... "Crooks For Christ" - are they implying that Mac is a devoted Christian and a crook? Or that the person who is affiliated with Crooks For Christ is a crook who happens to be Christian?

*headshake*

Rowan
02-20-2011, 03:36 AM
Satan, otherwise known as Gerry?

Bring the dude in your avi, along with Gerry and Dick, or I'll put a hex on you. ;)

Cliff Face
02-20-2011, 03:40 AM
A Sex Hex with Tex Mex?

*clears throat* Hi, I'm the regional representative of the Mad-Rhymes Association. We're holding a fund-raiser to try to find an English rhyme for "rhythm". The lack of one is a blight on our organisation. All donations can be sent to Dr. Cliff Face, and are tax-deductible if over $100.

scarletpeaches
02-20-2011, 03:42 AM
Bring the dude in your avi, along with Gerry and Dick, or I'll put a hex on you. ;)Add Purefoy, and you've got yourself a Satanic AW orgy right there! :D

Calla Lily
02-20-2011, 03:51 AM
pfft, scarlet, you can have your av, I'll take his brother. Wearing nothing but a smile.

I can't sew robes, but I can knit nifty fingerless gloves for our cult. If we can throw some lambs and bunnehs onto the sacrificial altar, I'll spin their wool and fur, and knit in an Old English "M" on them to identify us to each other. Plus, our fingers will be free to do... cultlike things... with ease.

Jersey Chick
02-20-2011, 03:54 AM
<--- I think we should throw some Hugh into the mix as well. :D

Rowan
02-20-2011, 03:54 AM
Add Purefoy, and you've got yourself a Satanic AW orgy right there! :D

Score! I'll bring the cauldron and my book of shadows. And Ian Somerhalder... :drool Think I went into evil thought overload...:e2thud:


Posted by JerseyChick:
I think we should throw some Hugh into the mix as well. :D

Yes please!

Calla Lily
02-20-2011, 03:56 AM
*fans self*

scarletpeaches
02-20-2011, 03:58 AM
Alexander Skarsgard would make it a full set. :drool

Bookewyrme
02-20-2011, 03:58 AM
Oh! This cult should also have a secret handshake. Because...BECAUSE. Something suitably writerly, too. Not sure what that would look like though...

Boston Steve
02-20-2011, 04:00 AM
A Sex Hex with Tex Mex?

*clears throat* Hi, I'm the regional representative of the Mad-Rhymes Association. We're holding a fund-raiser to try to find an English rhyme for "rhythm". The lack of one is a blight on our organisation. All donations can be sent to Dr. Cliff Face, and are tax-deductible if over $100.

Once you're done with 'rhythm' you can work on 'Worcester' and 'orange'.

Rowan
02-20-2011, 04:00 AM
Alexander Skarsgard would make it a full set. :drool

It will be like True Blood Season 2 minus the maenad but with a Mac making us do evil, nasty things... ;)

AlexPiper
02-20-2011, 04:05 AM
Wait... you mean... I really AM a Satanist?!?

Oh, man. We're supposed to be Satanists? All this time, I've been trying to practice Santaism. Now what am I going to do with these reindeer, anyway?

kaitie
02-20-2011, 04:09 AM
Oh man, I'm dying of laughter here. This is utterly fantastic. I'm just disappointed I missed the Writes with her Fangs site. :tongue

Bookewyrme
02-20-2011, 04:11 AM
Oh, man. We're supposed to be Satanists? All this time, I've been trying to practice Santaism. Now what am I going to do with these reindeer, anyway?

Sell them on e-bay, of course. Or else cook 'em and bring them to the AW Potluck. Whichever.

And apparently my reading comprehension is not so good today, since I totally missed that Mac had already suggested a secret handshake. :e2smack:

Calla Lily
02-20-2011, 04:12 AM
Satanism is so last week. We need a proprietary cult.

Busterdom. Puppies and hot babes of both sexes can apply in the express lane.

JulieHowe
02-20-2011, 04:15 AM
http://albums.mouseplanet.com/PhotoContest/brown3.sized.jpg

Calla Lily
02-20-2011, 04:17 AM
Reindeer-eating puppeh!

This one doesn't get put on the pyre because he brings dinner.

whimsical rabbit
02-20-2011, 04:18 AM
I'm going out to hunt for my dinner right now. Guess I should pick up a few extra rabbits. Roadkill, anyone?


Ooh... stewed bunneh... :drool



I can't sew robes, but I can knit nifty fingerless gloves for our cult. If we can throw some lambs and bunnehs onto the sacrificial altar, I'll spin their wool and fur, and knit in an Old English "M" on them to identify us to each other. Plus, our fingers will be free to do... cultlike things... with ease.

STAND BACK YOU SLIME-BALL MINIONING CANNIBALS, OR YOU SHALL SUFFER MY WRATH (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcxKIJTb3Hg)!




I suggest (in ascending order of evilness-level):


Bunnies
Sycophants
Minions
Henchmen
Acolytes



Here. I fixed it for ya. :evil

Calla Lily
02-20-2011, 04:23 AM
I could use some minions.

Mr Flibble
02-20-2011, 04:24 AM
So, to recap

Because it's a waning gibbous moon, none of us are wearing clothes. Blind orphan limping puppies with mange are already cooking, and now we're sacrificing Haggis to the sound of dying goats. SP will read the entrails (check to see if the liver wobbles. V important), Callily has made the robes we won't be wearing and there will be a lot of hot men.

At this point in the proceedings I would like to quote Fat Freddy and the Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers. Music maestro, please....

Let's all get drunk and gooo naaaaaehked! And fall in a great big pile!

That's what I call a Saturday night!

Rowan
02-20-2011, 04:25 AM
Word. Oh, and you forgot there will be evil bunnies afoot.

JulieHowe
02-20-2011, 04:26 AM
http://www.ratemyfunnypictures.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/drunk-cat.jpg

Calla Lily
02-20-2011, 04:26 AM
It's good to know the right people.

*checks on the sauce for the puppeh BBQ and paints inappropriate "clothing" on several cultists*

EFCollins
02-20-2011, 04:27 AM
That tickles, Lily.

Calla Lily
02-20-2011, 04:28 AM
But your design is so good!

JulieHowe
02-20-2011, 04:29 AM
STAND BACK YOU SLIME-BALL MINIONING CANNIBALS, OR YOU SHALL SUFFER MY WRATH (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcxKIJTb3Hg)!




Here. I fixed it for ya. :evil
http://www.sofakingdrunk.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/drunk-easter-bunny.jpg

alleycat
02-20-2011, 04:32 AM
Word. Oh, and you forgot there will be evil bunnies afoot.
Then we will have them for breakfast. Because . . . we're evil.

http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRm5HP0a9ezx7ObyXZUnMd9xmKKqL0JL gjat34H5rx4bHzO5eHmWw&t=1

Calla Lily
02-20-2011, 04:34 AM
http://cinemafantastique.be/IMG/jpg/wicker2-2.jpg

Bookewyrme
02-20-2011, 04:36 AM
http://cinemafantastique.be/IMG/jpg/wicker2-2.jpg

That picture appears to be missing a lot of bunnies.

scarletpeaches
02-20-2011, 04:36 AM
Ooh! Ooh! Move to suggest we burn a wicker man full of trolls. All those in favour...?

EFCollins
02-20-2011, 04:39 AM
Ooh! Ooh! Move to suggest we burn a wicker man full of trolls. All those in favour...?

Aye!

@Lily, yes. Yes it is a good design.

Boston Steve
02-20-2011, 04:40 AM
:D

http://i65.photobucket.com/albums/h236/SteveR61/gal_dwarves.jpg

Rowan
02-20-2011, 04:44 AM
Ooh! Ooh! Move to suggest we burn a wicker man full of trolls. All those in favour...?

Aye!!!!

Mr Flibble
02-20-2011, 04:47 AM
That picture appears to be missing a lot of bunnies.

It's missing various hot men and a bbq'd Haggis too.


Ooh! Ooh! Move to suggest we burn a wicker man full of trolls. All those in favour...?

No wait, move we grease a hot man in a wicker basket!

I put my hand, upon her thigh, and she said..do you want to try?


:D

http://i65.photobucket.com/albums/h236/SteveR61/gal_dwarves.jpg

Is..is...that what I think it is? Spinal Tap? :rofl

Boston Steve
02-20-2011, 04:48 AM
Is..is...that what I think it is? Spinal Tap? :rofl

Yup

Calla Lily
02-20-2011, 04:51 AM
God, I love writers.

alleycat
02-20-2011, 04:55 AM
Ooh! Ooh! Move to suggest we burn a wicker man full of trolls. All those in favour...?

The first batch are a crispy golden brown. May I suggest a pale ale to go with them.

http://www.whats-on-in-cardiff.co.uk/images/st-fagans/wicker-man-burning.jpg

Well, okay, we may have burned that batch.

Mr Flibble
02-20-2011, 04:57 AM
Well, okay, we may have burned that batch. We could toast their passing with the ale? I mean, don't like to see it go to waste and all...

Calla Lily
02-20-2011, 05:01 AM
Anyone have mead? I loves me some mead.

Mr Flibble
02-20-2011, 05:05 AM
Mead is mine. My mead. Mine.

My mouth is a tad glued together....but it's mine, my own, my precious.

http://i110.photobucket.com/albums/n83/spinynorman_2006/fallofman.jpg

alleycat
02-20-2011, 05:08 AM
Anyone have mead? I loves me some mead.
Coming right up from the Shady Grove Meadery.
http://www.shadygrovemead.com/images/FROMROAD2.jpg

Fine Tennessee mead. Vintage, uh, 2010.

JulieHowe
02-20-2011, 05:18 AM
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3497/3754799053_3b40599fbb.jpg

JulieHowe
02-20-2011, 05:21 AM
One more.

http://www.motifake.com/image/demotivational-poster/0909/forum-flamers-fire-demotivational-poster-1252479155.jpg

Medievalist
02-20-2011, 05:34 AM
Anyone have mead? I loves me some mead.

Funny you should mention that . . . I'm about to be the recipient of a gift of mead.

The first time I had mead was in Bath, England.

I was seventeen.

My host said, handing me a very full glass, "Here this is medieval and made with honey. You'll love it."

It was yummy.

I sat on the couch the rest of the afternoon, and he kept bringing me more . . .

Boston Steve
02-20-2011, 05:41 AM
http://i65.photobucket.com/albums/h236/SteveR61/arwedda-fish-god_cult.png

Calla Lily
02-20-2011, 05:42 AM
Medi, that must've been an epic headache. Ouch.

Cyia
02-20-2011, 06:02 AM
I could use some minions.

Not with bunnies. They ruin the taste. Stick with toadies, or if they're in season, toady-bugs.

SaraP
02-20-2011, 06:06 AM
Best. Thread. Ever.

:ROFL:

You people are so full of awesome. I mean, evil. :roll:

Boston Steve
02-20-2011, 06:08 AM
http://i65.photobucket.com/albums/h236/SteveR61/demotivational-posters-wtf.jpg

JulieHowe
02-20-2011, 06:35 AM
http://i65.photobucket.com/albums/h236/SteveR61/demotivational-posters-wtf.jpg

That is beautiful. :) Yes, I'm sober. It's too damned cold to go out and find any alcohol.

timp67
02-20-2011, 06:58 AM
WHAT ... ARE ... TOADY-BUGS???

Bluestone
02-20-2011, 07:07 AM
Oh, I am so glad I was directed to this thread! Aside from being somewhat incoherent (I can picture spittle flying from the writer's mouth), the email is too utterly bizarre and demented to even warrant getting all worked up in righteous indignation. Although I will if you want, Mac. :D

Please can we have more installments and any opportunity, should it present itself, to rush to your defense. I don't think they quite realize that they are attacking the might of AW when they attack the Mac.

Ol' Fashioned Girl
02-20-2011, 07:14 AM
http://cinemafantastique.be/IMG/jpg/wicker2-2.jpg

Why are they all gathered around a giant CD?

Calla Lily
02-20-2011, 07:16 AM
It's the latest evolution of the Justin Bieber fangirls.

:scared:

SaraP
02-20-2011, 07:22 AM
:ROFL:

BenPanced
02-20-2011, 07:48 AM
http://pics.livejournal.com/benpanced/pic/000fgz8x

MacAllister
02-20-2011, 07:53 AM
Gawd I love you people.

Cyia
02-20-2011, 08:40 AM
I can think of no better place for this:

http://i250.photobucket.com/albums/gg274/ErisFury/darthvader-i-am-your-mother.jpg

SaraP
02-20-2011, 08:49 AM
:ROFL: Priceless.

Giant Baby
02-20-2011, 09:12 AM
So, to recap

Because it's a waning gibbous moon, none of us are wearing clothes. Blind orphan limping puppies with mange are already cooking, and now we're sacrificing Haggis to the sound of dying goats. SP will read the entrails (check to see if the liver wobbles. V important), Callily has made the robes we won't be wearing and there will be a lot of hot men...

I'm sorry, was anything said before or after this? It was all such a lot to take in, but then suddenly it all became crystal clear. And heralds of angels sang... or something.

Satori1977
02-20-2011, 09:35 AM
Why didn't I see this thread earlier??

Oh, and bunnies are evil.

http://i97.photobucket.com/albums/l203/artemis_moonfairy/plotbunny.jpg

DreamWeaver
02-20-2011, 10:42 AM
A special message from Basement Cat to the person claiming to represent the staff at Crooks for Christ:

https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/_5GmXLJxooDs/TWC3P1CNH4I/AAAAAAAAANc/jD5lo4vsGA8/s400/idliketoseethingsfromyourpointofviewbut.jpg

Broadswordbabe
02-20-2011, 02:24 PM
Dear Goddess I love this place.
Haven't written a word this morning. Too busy laughing.
Can I be a minion too? Please? I have a sword, if that helps.

Cliff Face
02-20-2011, 02:58 PM
I'll be the Sycophant who is secretly a Minion keeping an eye on all the other Sycophants.

Is it okay if I get uppity? :D:D

evilrooster
02-20-2011, 03:20 PM
Is it okay if I get uppity? :D:D

Would it not being OK stop you?

Wait, wrong thread.

whimsical rabbit
02-20-2011, 04:09 PM
Oh, and bunnies are evil.

http://i97.photobucket.com/albums/l203/artemis_moonfairy/plotbunny.jpg

I just hate it when the paparazzi catch me in the wrong moment. :rant:

Anyway Mac, I can guard your gates if you fancy. I'll give a whole new meaning to the name Cerberus.

All I ask in return is a generous treat of carrot Mojitos, a few weekly massage sessions and an occasional loud-mouth puppy feast. :evil

Plus. I always wanted to say this to someone:

YOU SHALL NOT PASS!

regdog
02-20-2011, 04:20 PM
Mac, in case more minions are needed.

http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l117/regdog/316833208v1_225x225_Front_padToSquare-true.jpg

regdog
02-20-2011, 04:21 PM
Dear Crooks for Christ, just in case you were wondering

http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l117/regdog/400860311v1_225x225_Front_padToSquare-true.jpg

regdog
02-20-2011, 04:29 PM
You need to grade AWers then according to their relative evilness.

I suggest (in ascending order of evilness-level):

Sycophants
Minions
Henchmen
Acolytes



Perhaps we should change from Flying Mod Monkeys to
SyncoMods
Modions
HenchMods
AcoMods

alleycat
02-20-2011, 04:57 PM
Perhaps we should change from Flying Mod Monkeys to
SyncoMods
Modions
HenchMods
AcoMods
Slimettes?



Never mind.

BardSkye
02-20-2011, 06:33 PM
I'd like to be a henchman, please.

Will you be wearing your jackboots for the interview, Mac?

Soccer Mom
02-20-2011, 06:40 PM
http://images.icanhascheezburger.com/completestore/2008/10/8/128679566155562100.jpg


Iz time to turn from teh darkside and follow Ceiling Cat. AW iz a false cult. Pass it on.

thothguard51
02-20-2011, 06:42 PM
Wow.... what an education I is getting.

Bookewyrme
02-20-2011, 07:55 PM
Wow.... what an education I is getting.

AW is totally all about the education. :D

Ol' Fashioned Girl
02-20-2011, 08:32 PM
And here is how Our Evil Overlord will carry out Her plan for galactic domination (http://www.cobysev.org/overlord.html)...

ETA... speaking of 'education'... :)

Jersey Chick
02-20-2011, 09:39 PM
http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb134/JerseyChick71/fuzzeh.jpg

BenPanced
02-20-2011, 11:21 PM
http://pics.livejournal.com/benpanced/pic/000h5ssq

C.H. Valentino
02-21-2011, 02:58 AM
New favorite thread ever.

Right here.

alleycat
02-21-2011, 03:10 AM
http://cdn1.fizzy.com/screenshots/fullsize3/slimeball.jpg

Oh, no! She's got another poor fraudulent agent in her evil clutches!

VP_Benni
02-21-2011, 03:15 AM
http://cdn1.fizzy.com/screenshots/fullsize3/slimeball.jpg

Oh, no! She's got another poor fraudulent agent in her evil clutches!

Ehhh...
>.<
I keep hitting the "PLAY" button but it won't play...
xD

~Amber~

alleycat
02-21-2011, 03:17 AM
Just keep clicking it.

Sometimes it runs slow.

VP_Benni
02-21-2011, 03:32 AM
Fifteen minutes later and it still won't go anywhere... :(
Shame... I wanted to see the lady get eaten...

~Amber~

FOTSGreg
02-21-2011, 03:51 AM
And she kicked Haggis!

Well that's nothing special. We do that all the time down in the Horror Hounds threads.

It hardly qualifies Mac for evil demoness of the year.

However, Mac, you really write with your fangs? Now, if it's rejection notices, that could earn you a nomination or two...

FOTSGreg
02-21-2011, 03:53 AM
That's only one step up from sycophancy, though. Are you sure you have enough chapstick to kiss that much ass?


It's not how much ass you kiss, but whose, how long, and if you give enough tongue in the process.

:)

FOTSGreg
02-21-2011, 04:02 AM
Hey, Mac, I could sic the membership of The Mundy Society on 'em for ya'.

The only problem, of course, is that our membership is so secret most members don't even know they are members.

Makes our annual meetings kinda' boring (but we do have a secret handshake).

MacAllister
02-21-2011, 04:07 AM
Heh. I'm honestly not even sure the Crooks for Christ people had anything to do with the email -- it looks like it comes from their email domain, sure...but it also had a spoofed IP and was carefully sent through proxies.

thothguard51
02-21-2011, 04:19 AM
Its a DHS conspiracy...

Mr Flibble
02-21-2011, 04:22 AM
http://i110.photobucket.com/albums/n83/spinynorman_2006/haggis.jpg

FOTSGreg
02-21-2011, 04:37 AM
Haggis, you bringing your new girlfriend to the party at the bar tonight? Word is some friends of Mac's are dropping by for a visit.

brainstorm77
02-21-2011, 04:40 AM
I did snicker reading it, I admit that. The scary thing is that there is someone out there that has reasoned it to be true in their own mind. *shudders*

DreamWeaver
02-21-2011, 05:44 AM
https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/_5GmXLJxooDs/TWC3PpZZGPI/AAAAAAAAANY/2QhhUpE5v1w/s400/gotzmaiminionsonspeedeedile.jpg

bettielee
02-21-2011, 06:35 AM
The first batch are a crispy golden brown. May I suggest a pale ale to go with them.

http://www.whats-on-in-cardiff.co.uk/images/st-fagans/wicker-man-burning.jpg

Well, okay, we may have burned that batch.

has anyone got dipping sauce?!

bettielee
02-21-2011, 06:36 AM
http://cdn1.fizzy.com/screenshots/fullsize3/slimeball.jpg

Oh, no! She's got another poor fraudulent agent in her evil clutches!

again, dipping sauce... I really need some ranch or honey mustard to enjoy this kind of thing....

Matera the Mad
02-21-2011, 08:58 AM
Whoever set up the forum knew what they were doing -- that's almost scary. :ROFL:

Bartholomew
02-21-2011, 11:29 AM
I DEMAND MOAR EMAILS FROM MAC. MOOAAAHHHRRRR.

CACTUSWENDY
02-21-2011, 11:38 AM
So, what are our 'hollowed' days? Do we have any 'special' gift giving day of the year? Since there are already cults that observe full moon times might we observe no moon times? (It does pay to be a bit different.)

I am all for 72 well seasoned males waiting on my every need once I get to the after life. In fact.....make that more on the order of 144. (Double the pleasure, double the fun.)

I'll be back later with more of my demands....I mean ideas for our set up.

Mr Flibble
02-21-2011, 06:17 PM
I am all for 72 well seasoned males waiting on my every need once I get to the after life. In fact.....make that more on the order of 144. (Double the pleasure, double the fun.)



I like the way you're thinking! I'd even attempt to be good for that.

tjwriter
02-21-2011, 06:49 PM
I can't believe I missed this all weekend!

Best. Monday. Morning. Read. EVAH!

Anaquana
02-21-2011, 09:31 PM
I like the way you're thinking! I'd even attempt to be good for that.

If we're an evil cult, wouldn't being good produce the opposite result -- an afterlife spent listening to Ben Stein reading aloud the very worst offerings from fanfiction.net.

Mr Flibble
02-21-2011, 09:42 PM
If we're an evil cult, wouldn't being good produce the opposite result -- an afterlife spent listening to Ben Stein reading aloud the very worst offerings from fanfiction.net.

*Slaps forehead* OF course! I will go and be evil to small children(mine) immediately. For my son, that means kissing him in public :evil

Calla Lily
02-21-2011, 09:43 PM
Ooh! for me, that'd be telling my teenage sons to fetch me a tampon form the bathroom cabinet, because it's that time of the month. :evil

Boston Steve
02-21-2011, 09:51 PM
Ooh! for me, that'd be telling my teenage sons to fetch me a tampon form the bathroom cabinet, because it's that time of the month. :evil

Are either of them old enough to drive yet? Cause then you can send them to the store for tampons. :evil

Calla Lily
02-21-2011, 10:00 PM
Yes, the older one is. :evil I could wait till he's driving the GF somewhere and call him to ask him to make a quick stop for me.

Bookewyrme
02-21-2011, 10:06 PM
*Slaps forehead* OF course! I will go and be evil to small children(mine) immediately. For my son, that means kissing him in public :evil


Ooh! for me, that'd be telling my teenage sons to fetch me a tampon form the bathroom cabinet, because it's that time of the month. :evil


Are either of them old enough to drive yet? Cause then you can send them to the store for tampons. :evil


Yes, the older one is. :evil I could wait till he's driving the GF somewhere and call him to ask him to make a quick stop for me.

*Takes notes industriously*

I might have a son one day. :evil

Boston Steve
02-21-2011, 10:16 PM
Yes, the older one is. :evil I could wait till he's driving the GF somewhere and call him to ask him to make a quick stop for me.

Ooh, even better. I like how you think. :evil




*Takes notes industriously*

I might have a son one day. :evil

Tormenting your kids is the payback for all the crappy, thankless parts of the parenting gig.

Soccer Mom
02-21-2011, 11:20 PM
:evil I have custody of my son's iPod. What should I download for him? Maybe some Barbie songs? Those should go over big in the weight room.

Bookewyrme
02-21-2011, 11:23 PM
:evil I have custody of my son's iPod. What should I download for him? Maybe some Barbie songs? Those should go over big in the weight room.

Disney tunes. If he's watched enough disney movies as a kid, he'll be singing along before he can stop himself, which will make it that much worse. :D

Calla Lily
02-21-2011, 11:24 PM
Definitely Disney. Throw in a little Bieber for good measure.

Ol' Fashioned Girl
02-21-2011, 11:27 PM
Barney! "I love you... you love me... we're a happy family..."

VP_Benni
02-21-2011, 11:32 PM
:roll:
I'm glad I'm in charge of my own iPod, I'd be scared to see what MY mother would put on it...

~Amber~

Boston Steve
02-21-2011, 11:38 PM
:evil I have custody of my son's iPod. What should I download for him? Maybe some Barbie songs? Those should go over big in the weight room.

Justin Bieber. And Hannah Montana. :evil

Kaiser-Kun
02-21-2011, 11:51 PM
You people are all amateurs at being evil. I'm so totally evil. Do you know how many suckers I RickRoll'd today? TWO.

Birol
02-22-2011, 12:27 AM
You people are all amateurs at being evil. I'm so totally evil. Do you know how many suckers I RickRoll'd today? TWO.

You mean you were evil by doing the same thing everyone else has been doing forever? Puh-leaze.

Birol
02-22-2011, 12:29 AM
:evil I have custody of my son's iPod. What should I download for him? Maybe some Barbie songs? Those should go over big in the weight room.

Find every small child's earworm you can find and upload them all. OR you could go with old country story songs.

Kaiser-Kun
02-22-2011, 12:29 AM
You mean you were evil by doing the same thing everyone else has been doing forever? Puh-leaze.

Yeah but I did it twice. That's bad.

Also, while nobody looked, I switched the air conditioner's level from eight to seven. I'm a hellion.

VP_Benni
02-22-2011, 12:33 AM
Yeah but I did it twice. That's bad.

Also, while nobody looked, I switched the air conditioner's level from eight to seven. I'm a hellion.

0.0
Don't you see?
He's challenging your evilness!!
FIGHT BACK!!!
:box:

~Amber~

Mr Flibble
02-22-2011, 03:22 AM
*Takes notes industriously*

I might have a son one day. :evil


http://i110.photobucket.com/albums/n83/spinynorman_2006/funny-frog-pictures.jpg