Whomever said history never repeats never worked in Hollywood. There, history doesn’t simply repeat it reproduces like rabbits on Viagra.
According to Box Office Mojo, 2011 will belch forth a whopping 27 sequels, breaking the record for most sequels since 2003. Anyone craving something original will look long and hard and mostly in vain. Originality from an industry that vomits out junk like Little Fockers? You silly fool.
Among the offerings coming to a multiplex near you:
Second films: Cars 2, Diary Of A Wimpy Kid 2: Rodrick Rules, The Hangover Part II, Happy Feet 2, Hoodwinked Too! Hood Vs. Evil, Johnny English Reborn, Kung Fu Panda 2, Piranha 3DD, Sherlock Holmes: A Game Of Shadows.
Third films: Alvin And The Chipmunks: Chipwrecked, Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son, Madea’s Big Happy Family, Paranormal Activity 3, Transformers: Dark Of The Moon.
Fourth films: Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol, Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, Scream 4, Spy Kids 4: All The Time In The World, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn (Part One)
Fifth films: Fast Five, Final Destination 5, Puss In Boots, X-Men: First Class, Winnie The Pooh.
Seventh films: The Muppets and Rise Of The Apes.
Eighth film: Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows Part Two.
MGM, newly risen from the dead, is planning sequels of Robocop, Poltergeist, Mr. Mom, and The Idolmaker. I know you're excited.
Sorry bad movie freaks. No Saw entry this year.
Next year though? 
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to decide between the third Big Momma's House: Like Father, Like Son or the Liam Neeson movie that isn't Taken 2: Retaken, but sure looks like it could be.
Movies are better than ever! Because they're the same damned movies!
According to Box Office Mojo, 2011 will belch forth a whopping 27 sequels, breaking the record for most sequels since 2003. Anyone craving something original will look long and hard and mostly in vain. Originality from an industry that vomits out junk like Little Fockers? You silly fool.
Among the offerings coming to a multiplex near you:
Second films: Cars 2, Diary Of A Wimpy Kid 2: Rodrick Rules, The Hangover Part II, Happy Feet 2, Hoodwinked Too! Hood Vs. Evil, Johnny English Reborn, Kung Fu Panda 2, Piranha 3DD, Sherlock Holmes: A Game Of Shadows.
Third films: Alvin And The Chipmunks: Chipwrecked, Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son, Madea’s Big Happy Family, Paranormal Activity 3, Transformers: Dark Of The Moon.
Fourth films: Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol, Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, Scream 4, Spy Kids 4: All The Time In The World, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn (Part One)
Fifth films: Fast Five, Final Destination 5, Puss In Boots, X-Men: First Class, Winnie The Pooh.
Seventh films: The Muppets and Rise Of The Apes.
Eighth film: Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows Part Two.
MGM, newly risen from the dead, is planning sequels of Robocop, Poltergeist, Mr. Mom, and The Idolmaker. I know you're excited.
Sorry bad movie freaks. No Saw entry this year.
Next year though? Now if you'll excuse me, I need to decide between the third Big Momma's House: Like Father, Like Son or the Liam Neeson movie that isn't Taken 2: Retaken, but sure looks like it could be.
Movies are better than ever! Because they're the same damned movies!
