Complex plot- simple query

I've read so much about queries and my query letter has gotten 7 partial requests.... however I do wonder about "missing information."

My plot is complex and there are some unexpected twists, including a big reveal about the true identity of one of the main characters that sort of changes the game for the others involved. But you just can't get all that into a paragraph or so.

Is it okay to simply say that John Doe Character has hidden something about his identity and leave it at that without explaining? Then if they read the full synopsis, which many of them do want along with the query, they get more info.

The reason I ask is that I had a big agency reject me with a very long letter saying that they loved my writing, called it sharp and witty, and then specific reasons they loved the 3 main characters, but ultimately rejected me because the scifi twist with that main character didn't appeal to them when they read the synopsis.

So... is my query deceiving if I don't mention that? And maybe another agent would like that twist and it would make them want to see the manuscript.

Does this make any sense? LOL

MissMacchiato said:

it does make sense.

I guess you have to pick your agents with care.

Essentially, you want to get a foot in the door, and it sounds like you've done that. If you're choosing agents who specifically mention that they don't deal in Sci Fi, then that might be something to alter with future queries you send.

You're getting a good response, so I say just stick at it! Good luck!

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That was the bummer about it. They did have sci fi listed on their Publisher's Marketplace listing. {sigh} I'm finding that agents just put whatever on there sometimes. I always check their websites thoroughly and this one did not say no Sci-fi. They are a huge agency too. But sometimes they will have it listed on their PM listing but on the site it will say no sci fi. Maybe they just don't bother to update the PM listing.

MissMacchiato said:

you'd think that they'd shy away from doing that, as wasting not only your time, but theirs too.

That's tough. I wouldn't add the sci fi twist in though, I'd leave it where it is in the synopsis and just keep searching Don't be disheartened!

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Thanks for the encouragement! It's sort of a naturally disheartening process, but we just have to keep plugging away right?

PinkAmy said:

Maybe the problem was that in your query, you listed the genre wrong or that you're conceptualizing the genre wrong, so that you're not approaching the best agent for your book. I despise sci-fi and fantasy (sorry, I know lots of people love it), so I'd be extremely disappointed if I was reading a book I thought was straight fiction and it had that component mid-way, changing everything.

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I totally get what you're saying! Although I converted a friend of mine. She hates sci fi/fantasy and loathes romance, but agreed to read my book as a favor. She is great at editing because her job involved a lot of writing. She couldn't put the book down and stayed up until 3 a.m. the night before a big event to find out what happened. LOL


After the feedback here and looking carefully at all the agent feedback I received I completely reworked my query. I'm going at it from more of a sci/fi thriller angle because when I really get down to it, that's what the book is. There is a romantic relationship and because there's time travel involved I delve into the tensions in the romance because of differing values, etc. but the romance evolves out of the fact that she has been attacked and is being stalked by a psychopath.

I think what you're talking about is exactly what was happening with all the agents who requested to read my partial or full. They were expecting one thing and getting another and then they were confused.

Now I feel sort of dumb for not realizing that about my own work. UGH. It's hard to step back and look at it as one from the outside. It's all a learning process I guess. The next book I'm 3/4 finished with is straight fantasy, girl superhero in another world stuff. Much easier to categorize.

Wanted to add I can't wait to get to 50 posts so I can post my query for feedback. Don't have time to post like crazy so I must wait.

gothicangel said:

Agents come and go. Maybe the only agent who dealt sci-fi in the agency moved jobs between sending the details to PM and you picking it up.

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Oh that is so true! I've been querying for a few months now, sending out small batches and then making changes based on feedback. I've gone back to websites and agents are gone, or they've changed what they are looking for. Sometimes the whole agency has changed its focus and its website.