Finished
Hi,
I finished it! The rough draft that is, 5800 words. I have put it down for over a week and can't wait to get some more opinions on it before I make a final edit and submit.
Here's a sample:
Chapter 1 An Old Rival
It was late afternoon in a forgotten part of the city. A lone superhero snooped around outside the old vacuum cleaner factory.
Ba-bop, ba-bop, ba-bop...
“What‘s that noise? I should go in and investigate.”
The costumed boy sneaked inside the building. The ice cream cone on his chest flashed many colors. A large man and some small helpers were fiddling with a giant machine. The boy moved in closer.
The large man was really a half robot-man, dressed in black clothes. He ran his hand along the heavy machine as he grandly said, “With my new weapon, I, Backwards Vacuum Cleaner Man, will rule the world! Ha, Ha, Ha…” He laughed, evilly.
A chill ran down the boy’s spine. By reflex, he yelled, “Not so fast, Backwards Vacuum Cleaner Man!”
The Backwards Vacuum Cleaner Man turned his face towards the boy. The boy began to tremble and shake as he looked back and forth between the real eye and the robot eye, the real eye and the robot eye...woo-oo, woo-oo, woo-oo.
“We meet again Ice Cream Boy,” the villain said. “You are just in time to test my new weapon.”
Ice Cream Boy heard a click and looked both ways. Then, he looked straight up. He stood under the vacuum cleaner by mistake! “Oh, multiple sadness,” he whispered.
Then, the villain commanded his helper, “Throw the switch!” The helper pulled the vacuum cleaner switch into the new, backwards position. The machine roared on! Rmmmm!
Ice Cream Boy pulled out his Ice Cream Gun. He aimed at the vacuum’s spout as first grains of dirt started pouring down and grunted, “I’m too late!” Mountains of dust, small toy parts, gum wrappers, food crumbs, hair, and pebbles spewed on top of him. Ba-dump, bump, bump.
“Ha-ha-ha! It works!” the villain laughed. “With Ice Cream Boy out of the way, I can now turn the Backwards Vacuum Cleaner on the city.”
