Writer's Problems

First. . . Welcome to AW!

What I try to do is remember compliments people I love/respect have told me. For instance, the other day I brought my ms. into my piano lesson so that I could start editing/etc. while waiting. When I showed it to my teacher, he skimmed through it for several minutes and told me that I wrote beautifully. It made me feel better about my book, because I know that if it doesn't work out, I can always start over again. It gave me confidence. If you're comfortable with it, I would suggest asking a family member or friend to read what you've gotten done. They can help give you some direction. They can tell you what they like/dislike. Use that information -- it can really really help.

I don't know what genre you write, but I've found that (I write fantasy) reading fairy tales and nursery rhymes helps. Sounds ridiculous, I know. But it helps. Listening to music helps. It's inspiring. Read about authors. You'll find that most of them started out like you and me. I'm sure every serious writer has been discouraged! You just have to pick yourself up and tell your ms, "I am going to conquer you!" And if you stick with it, you will. It might take a lot of rewrites (I know my story is going to), but I think that eventually you will find that perfect rhythm.

But that's just my 2 cents.

These two quotes really helped me:

The faster I write the better my output. If I'm going slow I'm in trouble. It means I'm pushing the words instead of being pulled by them.
— Raymond Chandler

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Writing is easy: All you do is sit staring at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead.
-- Gene Fowler

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Just keep going!

From what you described, it sounds like you're trying for perfect prose on the first go-round. That can become very wearing (most everyone here goes for multiple, multiple edits after that first draft.)

My suggestion is to write a short story - all the way through. Pick a topic you feel comfortable with, make sure you have a plot, and then write it. Let it sit for a week and then go back and read it and see what you think.

Writing should be fun and not a chore. And yes, it is a lonely world until you're able to share what you've accomplished with someone else. Puma

Puma makes excellent points. Childoflight too, actually.

*Look for inspiration in the little things, because, yes, sometimes writing can make you feel isolated if you have no one to share it with. Share it with us

*Write for fun first and foremost. Why else would you pursue it?

*Write, read, then judge. There'sno way of knowing if you're any good if you have
nothing to go on. And remember, your early finished pieces won't be gold, but keep at it and you'll get better. Everone needs practice.

For me, writing isn't lonely just solitary. I enjoy the world I've made and the people who inhabit it. By choice I don't share my work with anyone else while I'm creating but if you want to share what you're working on and get a bit of feedback from fellow writers why not post something in Share Your Work?

I'm with puma, maybe you need to kick yourself in the ass a bit and hit fast-forward; try pushing through a draft once then revising after.

As for uniquely alone, I disagree. I went to graduate school and my parents asked what I was doing; when I discussed scraping retinas off cow eyes, harvesting them and isolating mitochondria, and dosing them with formate to study methanol toxicity, their eyes glazed over the same way. A few years later, my mom told a friend if i wanted to I "could be just like those CSI guys on tv", confirming they didn't understand a damn thing.

I don't tell any of my friends I write. (Many of my friends aren't biologists, either.) My wife knows I write, nobody else. The folks here don't know who I am, the folks in lab don't know I write. I could care less; I do it in the hopes of one day making money, and to prove to myself I can. If you want/need to talk to others, there are plenty of groups you could find in most fair-sized towns, and online communities, but for me at least writing isn't lonely at all. It is just an area where I have to self-validate, because I don't expect anyone else to do it for me.

Maybe you should stick around here long enough to develop a presence and meet a few folks from your part of the country? That, and maybe self-flagellate less at your computer......if I read right, it sounds as though you pine for hours and hours, only to finish a page or less; everyone is different, but you might be better served at least taking a stab at a forced run, shooting for closer to like ten pages in 2 hours each day until you finish a work, and then going back and revising, again for a few hours at a time. whole days alone in front of the computer, for months on end, aren't good for anyone. Especially if you fdon't have an after-hours social outlet.

Anyway, welcome to AW, stick around awhile.

Quick

Hi, there! Welcome!

I don't blame you for feeling a little lonely. But there are some people here who are willing to help you feel less that way . Just keep focused on your goal and run with the winners.

Good luck!

i'm not sure anyone has kicked him while he's down; so far folks have recommended trying a new pace, listening to music, reading, SYW, and meeting folks here and/or at writing groups.

BlackFlag said:

Hi all. This is my first post here and I figured instead of writing a usual introduction thread, I will just go ahead and post here because I have some concerns that I'd like to share with some of my fellow writers.

I'm not a newbie to fiction writing. For as long as I can remember, I always wanted to be a writer. The main reason I wanted to write was because I wanted people to experience what I experienced when I read a really good book. Although my drive for the ultimate dream of becoming a successful writer isn't gone, I am finding it very difficult to continue the way I am.

It seems to me as if writing is a very lonely thing, and to be a writer is to be alone. What I mean by that is that nobody in my life seems to understand what I'm going through or what I'm trying to accomplish. When I find myself sitting in front of a computer for hours at a time trying to write one word, and not being satisfied with anything that comes out, I have to admit, it really sucks. Also, even when I start to get into a rhythm with my writing and I belt out some sentences that seem quite good, I still end up second guessing myself and, in the end, I am unable to really discover whether my writing is good or not. I just don't know.

I have a feeling I am not alone in this regard, which is why I decided to post here. I don't feel like I have any confidence in myself or my work. I guess what I really need is some words of encouragement. In any case, I can't wait to hear what you guys and gals have to say about this.

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Well, there is a difference between being alone and being lonely. I love to be alone. I thrive on it. Coming from a hugely social family in which each member has at least 8-10 friends, this wasn't an easy thing growing up. I remember dragging a typewriter to the family vacation house and my grandfather telling me I didn't know how to have fun...

Because I wanted to sit on the porch and write while they all went water-skiing. It's hard to be the 'different one' in a group like that. But I persevered and told them (in my head) to all shove off and I did what I wanted.

Just keep working at it. Dont sit at the PC for hours anymore. Tell yourself you'll work for one hour, or 30 minutes and see what you can come up with. Make up some characters, put them on paper, let them start talking and see where they bring you. (That's how most my short stories begin.)

You are NOT alone when you are here, btw. There is a diverse array of writers on this forum. Outgoing and introverted; flamboyant and subdued; opinionated and open-minded. The one thing we all share is we write.

Try posting on other forums. Check out SYW. You are in good company here.

Two things. First: Make friends who are writers, so you can talk to friends who understand the unique problems of being a writer.

Second: Get out more often and socialize with everybody you know. It's valuable to your writing and to your psyche to be around people you enjoy and love. Writing is a solitary task, but writers don't have to be lonely people.

It's true that a disciplined writer, particularly one who has a day job, finds little time for socialization. And you shouldn't let your writing suffer so you can get out and have fun. You'll need to plan your time well, but plan in some down time with friends and family. You need it. I've got a weekly writers' group meeting I attend and a weekly game night as well...one gets me out around other writer types so I can talk to them about writing, which is important to all of us; the other gets me out for just plain fun and lets me see the other people who are important in my life.

I write about 2000 words a day on average, and I do not feel like a lonely person.

Hi! It's a good thing you joined a site such as this one. Writers are a community, and sometimes it's nice to have a community around that shares your interest and can encourage you.
I feel like that sometimes, especialy when I read other's superb writing. But it's good to remind yourself to just keep writing and that there are many other writers who've had the same crisis as you.
Happy Writings!

I used to think that way too, that writing is a lonely endeavor. But yeah, do write for fun... that's the only way you could find joy in it. The only way you could make your readers enjoy what you wrote is to have fun writing it. Believe me, it shows in your output.

Writing can e very isolating and while sites such as this are a great place to go and get feedback, nothing can replace face to face meetings with others who share your pain - err I mean joy of writing...

Check with your local libraries or colleges to see if there is a writer's group close by. This can be tougher to find in more rural areas but not impossible. If there isn't a group consider starting one. You can also check for Writer's conferences that are close by and look to attend. Just being in the midst of other writers and immersing yourself in the culture can be comforting.

I wish you the best (and yes you are not alone - we all feel that way )

I agree that writers need a social life, as stated on many of the posts here...

However not all of us need a big one. I am content with a few friends and my family. That's all I need. I spend a week alone every summer - ALL ALONE. I so cherish that time. I count the days to it. My family, esp. my mother, thinks I'm a bit odd to want to be alone, but it's when I can really dive into whatever I'm writing. When it ends, I actually cry. (Though I don't let my kids or husband see me.)

So perhaps you're more of an introvert (than that other type) of person. If so, living in an extroverted world ain't easy. But you definitely aren't the only writer out there who's like that.

Hang in there.

BlackFlag said:

It seems to me as if writing is a very lonely thing, and to be a writer is to be alone. What I mean by that is that nobody in my life seems to understand what I'm going through or what I'm trying to accomplish. When I find myself sitting in front of a computer for hours at a time trying to write one word, and not being satisfied with anything that comes out, I have to admit, it really sucks. Also, even when I start to get into a rhythm with my writing and I belt out some sentences that seem quite good, I still end up second guessing myself and, in the end, I am unable to really discover whether my writing is good or not. I just don't know.

I have a feeling I am not alone in this regard, which is why I decided to post here. I don't feel like I have any confidence in myself or my work. I guess what I really need is some words of encouragement. In any case, I can't wait to hear what you guys and gals have to say about this.

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You are most certainly not alone!!!

One of the issues that I have is that my critical editor is really a bitch. And there are days when she has more to say than my writer.

I like the discipline of just writing without critiquing. In these days of computers, it is too easy to delete. So perhaps you would be better off just going longhand for a bit?

Have you read Natalie Goldberg's Wild Mind?

keep your pen moving.

I know that I am "a writer" because I get high from crafting a perfect grammatically correct sentance.

There are, indeed, lots of us here.

Hi, I just want to pop my two cents in here and say - if you get a job that has a lot of public contact you'll never be short of ideas and won't worry about solitude, (because you could come to love it).

I am really really old, and trust me, no-one ever understands you. Fact of life. Accept it.

I actually wrote something for the someone the other day (non-paying) and loved it at first. Sent it. The next day I read it and it was just the dumbest thing - hang my head in shame - ugh - but they wanted it and thought it really good. Now I hate the fact that people will read it with my name on.

That's what life's like for me. I insist on having a good time anyway. Stuff it. Hah!

I LOVE my writing time. I come from a big family and have a big family. When I sit down for those precious hours,it is glorious. It's nice and quiet. No one is saying Mama or Kitty every five seconds. It's just me,my stories,and my music. So much fun!


Second guessing keeps you from moving forward with your work. Stop it and write. That first draft won't be perfect. That's what revision is for. Right now,ass in chair and keep it pushing. Silence that inner hag that critiques everything and makes you feel like everything that you write sucks. She'll serve her purpose later when it comes time to go back and edit.

I feel a lot the same way - I hate the solitariness of writing and not even having a reasonable guarantee of praise and/or pay when I finally get done. I've tried finding a co-writer, but haven't had success at that. I've tried joining a game design project and writing as part of a team, but those never seen to result in a finished game.