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View Full Version : You teach honors ELA? Really?



Devil Ledbetter
01-29-2011, 12:24 AM
Here's an email from my daughter's 8th grade honors ELA teacher:



Hello there...some Winter ELA updates!
3rd MP ended last Friday-Please check Edline for grades.
We are into 4th MP-still in the Odyssey-we have to pick up speed and read & cover 2 books a week! This week-end-the students should be starting Book VI(6). Many students maybe wrapping up an in class assignment @ home this week-end-their choice...to make a video ref. a section of an Odyssey Bk they need to share w/ the class on Monday. We will be writing our own Autobiography next week for our High School Counselor. ALL HS EXAM RESULTS HAVE BEEN GIVEN. Wow February next week! No school on 2/7th or 18th! Carnival 2/17th---volunteers needed!! We are in desperate need of kleenex & disinfecting wipes for our classroom! Your support is appreciated!!
Have a great week-end-Mrs. Redacted :)



Okay, I've no desire to bash public school teachers. My husband is a public school teacher and no, he doesn't write like this (nor does he teach ELA).

She's teaching 8th grade honors English/Language Arts, yet has no idea when and when not to hyphenate. Weekend. Lady, it's one word. And since when is autobiography capitalized and Kleenex not? She's using double exclamation points, for Pete's sake. And that's to say nothing of the run-on sentences, use of @ (what, did she key this in on her Blackberry?) inappropriate all caps and oddball abbreviations.

Dear Maude, I need ibuprofen.

milly
01-29-2011, 12:26 AM
this is hilarious

:)

Devil Ledbetter
01-29-2011, 12:26 AM
this is hilarious

:)
If my daughter wasn't in her class, it might be to me.

milly
01-29-2011, 12:30 AM
*cringes*

there, that better?

:)

amyashley
01-29-2011, 12:38 AM
O*M*G

I'd pull my kid out of her class and put her in another one. I really would.

What's with the IV(6)? Are we too dumb to know that? I mean just say SIX.

And don't text the stinking thing.



WEEKEND.

Devil Ledbetter
01-29-2011, 12:46 AM
I think I will assign my daughter the extra-credit homework of editing that.

brainstorm77
01-29-2011, 12:48 AM
I thought it was a Twitter post...

Chris P
01-29-2011, 12:50 AM
I thikn the teecher was on her coffe brake.

milly
01-29-2011, 12:51 AM
you think she texted the message?

(can I use text in past tense like that or is it just text?)

amyashley
01-29-2011, 12:52 AM
NO, it is txtd.

amyashley
01-29-2011, 12:53 AM
I'm not sure if any of us are young or hip enough to even know.

*clears throat...

Well I'm HIP.

Devil Ledbetter
01-29-2011, 01:13 AM
I'm not sure if any of us are young or hip enough to even know.

*clears throat...

Well I'm HIP.
I have hips. Does that count?

amyashley
01-29-2011, 01:29 AM
According to my husband, they only count if they're really well-padded. :)

Devil Ledbetter
01-29-2011, 01:38 AM
According to my husband, they only count if they're really well-padded. :)
It's all a matter of ratios.

Medievalist
01-29-2011, 06:24 AM
If my daughter wasn't in her class, it might be to me.

And people look surprised when I explain I dropped out of high school.

Sydneyd
01-29-2011, 06:29 AM
I thikn the teecher was on her coffe brake.

LLO

Silver King
01-29-2011, 07:27 AM
When my kids were younger, sometimes I'd correct their teachers' comments on the written portions of their papers and have them turn the work back in.

I stopped doing that when one instructor, a first year teacher, wrote back, "Your dad gets an A for correcting my grammar and punctuation, but you still failed the assignment. Sorry."

kayleamay
01-29-2011, 07:29 AM
I'm-feelin-your-pain.

I have two sons that can't do math to save their souls and one who wrote an essay last week about the American Collineys. They are all getting good grades. How is this possible?

Xelebes
01-29-2011, 08:10 AM
The hyphens are a code. I've almost broken it.

Steam&Ink
01-29-2011, 08:25 AM
...one who wrote an essay last week about the American Collineys.

Oh, Lord, I had a moment: "Who the heck are the Collineys? Are they a TV family?"

VP_Benni
01-29-2011, 08:34 AM
Yay, I'm not the only one with a crazy English teacher!! :D

~Amber~

benbradley
01-29-2011, 09:19 AM
O*M*G

I'd pull my kid out of her class and put her in another one. I really would.
I know enough of statistics to state firmly the chances are 50/50 another teacher would be worse.

amyashley
01-29-2011, 09:39 AM
I'd fly down Grandma for home school. I know she's good. Her National Board Certification is still valid too. It's like mini-private school.


blech.

backslashbaby
01-29-2011, 12:37 PM
Le week-end, maybe? She was fantasizing about France on her coffe brake.

Cliff Face
01-29-2011, 02:39 PM
Sum peep-all r dum, iz awl eye haf too-saye.

Devil Ledbetter
02-01-2011, 12:38 AM
Parents:
We are having our Valentine Dance on Friday, February 11th from right after school until 4:00. Cost is $3.00 per student. If they bring in a new notebook, package of pencils or box of Kleenex they will receive $1.00 of the admission to the dance. ( Items brought will help with classroom/student needs). Refreshments are available, Pizza $1.00 and Soda is 50 cents, as well has glow sticks 25 cents and if we have leftover valentine suckers from the Candy Gram Sales they will be 50 cents. Volunteers are needed to work the dance is anyone is interested please email us back or call xxx-xxxx ext. xxxx.
Thanks and we look forward to volunteering with you at the dance!


Candy Gram? Is that a type of blotter acid, or what? At any rate, I'm pretty sure I know who the "valentine sucker" is.

I'm getting her a box of commas and apostrophes for Valentine's Day, along with a bottle of appropriate capitalization.

stormie
02-01-2011, 12:43 AM
All I could think, after reading her latest, is "Candy Gram for Mongo. Candy Gram for Mongo" (from Blazing Saddles eons ago. Okay, I'm punchy today)

Anyway, I think getting her a Strunk and White's The Elements of Style book would be appropriate. Maybe she'll get the hint.

ETA: And stick that note she sent home inside the front cover.

Stlight
02-01-2011, 05:19 AM
If she teachs the advanced class, what are the other teachers... never mind, I probably shouldn't ask.

fireluxlou
02-01-2011, 05:23 AM
I think you should have words with the teacher about her less than professional letter.

MissMacchiato
02-01-2011, 05:45 AM
I just can't get past valentines day suckers.

What a strange, rambling woman.

Like me, before I have my coffee. But less gooder at grammer and such. LOL

Devil Ledbetter
02-01-2011, 06:11 AM
I think her school email account was hijacked by a lolcat jeeped up on valentine suckers and Candy Grams.

Silver King
02-01-2011, 06:37 AM
I think you should have words with the teacher about her less than professional letter.
That would be my first reaction also, but as I stated earlier, I've done as much in the past. What I've learned, though, is that the teacher will become instantly defensive and brush off any criticism of her missives to a harried schedule and "a rush to get my messages out there!!!"

Better to keep an eye on how she grades papers and make sure she's following acceptable grammar, spelling and punctuation usage; and if she's not, then that would be the time to make a stink out of how she's butchering the language and leading her students astray.

benbradley
02-01-2011, 07:04 AM
That would be my first reaction also, but as I stated earlier, I've done as much in the past. What I've learned, though, is that the teacher will become instantly defensive and brush off any criticism of her missives to a harried schedule and "a rush to get my messages out there!!!"

Better to keep an eye on how she grades papers and make sure she's following acceptable grammar, spelling and punctuation usage; and if she's not, then that would be the time to make a stink out of how she's butchering the language and leading her students astray.
Just from having been a public school student long ago and having heard about so many such situations since, saying anything to the teacher or any official at the school questioning the competency of a teacher will indeed "cause a stink." I don't know of any "good" way to do this.

VP_Benni
02-01-2011, 07:16 AM
Just from having been a public school student long ago and having heard about so many such situations since, saying anything to the teacher or any official at the school questioning the competency of a teacher will indeed "cause a stink." I don't know of any "good" way to do this.

I don't think there is a "good" way to do this. Everyone (including some of the staff) has been trying to get rid of my school's English teacher for years. She's fairly close to deaf, she's been caught throwing away students' assignments when they turn them in, and on a test we took earlier this year, she marked one of my friend's right on a question and another one wrong. It was true/false. They BOTH put false.
If someone petition's against her at school, she turns it around so THEY'RE the ones in trouble. One of my friends got suspended a couple years ago because her mother was unhappy with her teaching. She's had complaints about her teaching, and she throws them away and pretends they were never there. Kind of like she does with assignments.
She's supposed to have retired at least twice by now, but she keeps threatening to sue the school if they force her to. >.< No matter what you try, in any case, there's always going to be a downside...

~Amber~

Bookewyrme
02-01-2011, 07:20 AM
This is one of those teachers who would've HATED me. Yes, I was That Kid in class, the one who inevitably raised her hand to point out spelling and punctuation errors to her teachers. I swear it wasn't arrogance, mistakes like that just make me twitchy.

I agree you can't really say anything about her messages to her. It won't help and it'll just brand you as "the difficult parent." I'd definitely be watching closely for other bone-headed mistakes though. An advanced ELA teacher who is that careless in her professional communications is probably careless in other ways related to her class as well. From experience, watch out for badly graded papers, lost papers, and grades not being recorded. And have your child find out what her grading rubric is, so you can double check her math on your child's report card. You think I'm kidding, but I once got a D in a class that I didn't deserve because the teacher graded my papers, then never recorded the grades and apparently also couldn't add.

Devil Ledbetter
02-01-2011, 04:54 PM
No, I have no plans to say anything. The woman is on the fringes of my loose social circle -- we share some mutual friends. She's a sweet lady but a bit of a ditz. I can't fix that by complaining.

This is why I vent about it here. I know you folks understand.

stormie
02-01-2011, 05:18 PM
Valentine's Day gift to ELA teacher: The Elements Of Style book with her latest note home tucked inside.

jaksen
02-01-2011, 05:28 PM
Well the (V)alentine suckers are probably lollipops, right?

And the Candy Grams are probably the lollipops, or other sweets, that the students 'mail' or send to one another on Valentine's Day at the school.

(I taught in a junior high - middle school for many, many years.)

The other errors are inexcusable. Even if she dashed this off quickly, she certainly didn't proofread. However, I saw English teachers make many similar errors and if called on them, assumed an offensive position immediately. In one case I went into a classroom and corrected the errors on a blackboard. (Misspelled words: 'proceedure' and 'seperate' come to mind. There were others.)

In some cases it's best to lie low, however, distasteful as that may be.

Devil Ledbetter
02-01-2011, 05:51 PM
My issue with Candy Grams is that a coined word based on telegrams should be rendered candygrams.

She seems to have a lot of trouble with compound words. She doesn't even know how to handle weekend.

benbradley
02-01-2011, 11:10 PM
I think I'm remembering candygram from Saturday Night Live's "Land Shark" skit...

And as for The Elements of Style, the sentiment is good but it may be too advanced for her.

Perhaps there's some appropriate modern book that discusses how "getting the English and punctuation correct when writing a job-related email is just as important as when writing a business letter" with examples.

CaroGirl
02-01-2011, 11:23 PM
These-messages are in-app-ropriate for an english Teacher.

In the past, I've sent things like pizza order forms back with corrections. It makes me feel better.

Devil Ledbetter
02-02-2011, 01:36 AM
These-messages are in-app-ropriate for an english Teacher.

In the past, I've sent things like pizza order forms back with corrections. It makes me feel better.
And to think, when I was in school my English teacher told us he'd corrected all of the inappropriate punctuation on the menu at the Char House. (It was loaded with unnecessary quotation marks, e.g. "The Captain Suggests" Steak Dinner with "salad bar." It always drove me crazy, too. He was my hero.)

RaiTay
02-02-2011, 02:48 AM
And this is why I got my GED.

Haha sorry but most teachers don't have a clue.

(Although there are a hand ful of amazing ones out there :))

LilliCray
02-02-2011, 05:13 AM
For some reason, I've found an unfortunate number of English teachers aren't as well-versed in grammar as they should be.

Case in point: my "honors" language arts/reading program teacher. She theoretically proofreads each newspaper article that's printed, but our newspaper is FILLED with purely idiotic errors. Anyone with half a brain should have caught it. And the "official" correspondence the yearbook/newspaper sends out? Like, senior ads? Horrific. Like she's decided "grammar" is something you make up as you go along...

The literary magazine is worse. Run by a different English teacher, who also supposedly proofreads every story, but the magazine has so many horrific errors every year... which, again, so easy to catch.

I wonder if just the invention of "texting" has ruined grammar? Like, even if someone doesn't text, their grammar suffers, because there's some sort of trauma inflicted upon the English language just by people butchering it in texts...

Er, right, the whole point of what I was trying to say was: I commiserate, hope she's not teaching your kid the incorrect stuff, and there definitely seems to be a trend.

...I just realized, my calculus teacher has better grammar than the newspaper teacher who once taught English. Huh.

VP_Benni
02-02-2011, 06:35 AM
...I just realized, my calculus teacher has better grammar than the newspaper teacher who once taught English. Huh.

My math teacher teaches math AND English to us better than my English teacher does. :D This is especially sad because she was a math major in college. :roll: (correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't 4+6+8+10=28? because she gave me 30 out of 30 for that assignment... Not that I'm complaining about getting a better grade. :) )

~Amber~

MollyParrot
02-02-2011, 06:02 PM
I taught high school science, and I can safely say that if I sent out messages like that, I'd have heard about it from parents. Some of those parents would likely have followed up with a letter to administrators about my lack of professionalism. Administrators probably would not have cared so the complaint would have gone into a black hole of sorts.

Now, if only my students had anything approaching the writing abilities of that teacher, perhaps I could make sense out of their essay exam questions.

I would laugh at this, but the laughter would quickly turn into tears.

Amber: it is super easy to make a point error while grading a stack of 100 papers, math degree or not. Adding up points is tedious and time consuming, especially considering that most teachers have to grade assignments on their own, unpaid, time outside of school. Now, if she is making those mistakes while providing examples in class or on handout--then I would worry.

regdog
02-02-2011, 06:25 PM
:(

VP_Benni
02-02-2011, 07:33 PM
Amber: it is super easy to make a point error while grading a stack of 100 papers, math degree or not. Adding up points is tedious and time consuming, especially considering that most teachers have to grade assignments on their own, unpaid, time outside of school. Now, if she is making those mistakes while providing examples in class or on handout--then I would worry.

A stack of a hundred papers on that teacher's desk for my school is like three days worth of assignments... I go to a REALLY small school, and we only have about 15 people in the classroom on any given day. Subtract all the people who don't do it (about 3 or 4 people who don't care about their grades) and there's only about a dozen left to grade. =/ She has a student grading papers for her during class, which gets rid of most of what she has to have graded for other classes. There are actually a couple of us that point out to her on a regular basis when she's doing something wrong when she's giving examples... And eventually the class gives up and surrounds my desk, asking what the heck we're supposed to do with the assignment... >.<

~Amber~

Devil Ledbetter
02-04-2011, 09:34 PM
Happy snow day #3! Today marks my 20th yr of teaching...and I do not remember ever having 3 snow days in a row! Always work to do-kids or not...if any of you want to join me if your missing school :) First & formost...READ ODYSSEY BKS VII, VIII,& IX! Next week & week-end X-XII!
Remember...we are in a High School English class & we have to keep up w/ their pace. Secondly...
I wanted you to be thinking and writing about yourself over the long week-end-for your HS Autobiography we need to work on when you return next Tuesday! If you would outline your life-the significant events, people, places things-even write a rough draft-that would be a great head start!! Autobiography Directions: tell your counselor a little about yourself: something about your life, your interests, likes, dislikes, hobbies, concerns, goals, and/or plans for your future.
I will review outlining w/ you, cursive write rough draft and type final draft (lab time will be provided to type final). Therefor, your counselor will have a handwriting sample from you and they will read these papers and get to know you, before they sit down and schedule HS classes at the end of March-before Spring break! Again...if you could work on an outline & rough draft-that'll be HW next week-you will have it done early!! You have 4 more days-enjoy :) Mrs. Redacted



Bolding mine. Ugh. The run-on sentences are terrible. The woman has no idea when caps are and aren't appropriate. Twenty years.

stormie
02-05-2011, 12:40 AM
The run-on sentences are terrible. The woman has no idea when caps are and aren't appropriate. Twenty years.
Bolding mine. :eek:

That' sad. A high school honors English teacher w/ twenty years experience. (And I use the word "experience" lightly.)