Queries: Is there a point when a query gets too short?

LizzieFriend · Jan 28, 2011

I've heard queries should be 250 words, but if you can tell your story concisely in 150, should you? Or should you use the extra 80 words to fill out some interesting details?

I'm trying to get a sense of whether shorter is *always* (generally speaking of course, I'm sure there are exceptions) better, or whether cutting down too much can be a problem.

Any thoughts?

katiemac · Jan 28, 2011

LizzieFriend said:
I've heard queries should be 250 words, but if you can tell your story concisely in 150, should you? Or should you use the extra 80 words to fill out some interesting details?

I'm trying to get a sense of whether shorter is *always* (generally speaking of course, I'm sure there are exceptions) better, or whether cutting down too much can be a problem.

Any thoughts?

Why use more words than necessary? Especially in a situation where you only have 30 seconds to get someone's attention. Long and exciting is better than short and boring, but short and exciting is the best option.

amyashley · Jan 28, 2011

Mine was 163 from (and including) Dear XXX to Amy Ashley.

It was massively approved by QLH squirrels.

Jamesaritchie · Jan 28, 2011

LizzieFriend said:
I've heard queries should be 250 words, but if you can tell your story concisely in 150, should you? Or should you use the extra 80 words to fill out some interesting details?

I'm trying to get a sense of whether shorter is *always* (generally speaking of course, I'm sure there are exceptions) better, or whether cutting down too much can be a problem.

Any thoughts?

That 250 words includes everything in a query, not just the synopsis, but, yes, short is good, if you say everything that needs to be said.

LizzieFriend · Jan 28, 2011

katiemac said:
Why use more words than necessary? Especially in a situation where you only have 30 seconds to get someone's attention. Long and exciting is better than short and boring, but short and exciting is the best option.

I get what you're saying--thanks. I'm mostly curious if agents think distilling the story down to its most basic bare bones is the supreme goal, or if leaving in some unique details that help flesh out why your story is different from other similar stories is a good thing. I've heard a lot of talk on agent blogs about the fact that most stories can be boiled down to one of about a dozen different formulas (example: "poor girl meets rich dude and falls in love" can describe lots of very different books in their most basic form). I'm just trying to avoid boiling my plot down to something that's no longer unique.

FTR, I'm not sold either way. My query could comfortably be 150 or 250. I'm just trying to get a sense of whether either of those is inherently better. It sounds like the consensus is 150 though, so I'll see what I can do.

LizzieFriend · Jan 28, 2011

Jamesaritchie said:
That 250 words includes everything in a query, not just the synopsis, but, yes, short is good, if you say everything that needs to be said.

No worries, I was referring to 250 for the entire query. "If you say everything that needs to be said,"...that's the rub

It's tough to know.

amyashley · Jan 28, 2011

It needs to be unique and have personality. You should post it in Query Letter Hell. They will help you there. It is quite awful, but when you come out the other end you will be better off for it.

LizzieFriend · Jan 28, 2011

I took that leap yesterday, and you're right--it's a little scary, but very helpful. It's under "Mystery Query - OLD MONEY" if you'd care to stop by. Thanks for the tip!

amyashley said:
It needs to be unique and have personality. You should post it in Query Letter Hell. They will help you there. It is quite awful, but when you come out the other end you will be better off for it.

jclarkdawe · Jan 28, 2011

My shortest query, to a magazine editor I had done work for before, consisted entirely of "Want?" with the article attached. Response was "Yes." And as is always important, the check arrived in a timely fashion.

If you can sell your book in thirty words, or fifty words, then do it. Most people spend way too many words in their query, and often end up taking a good idea and unselling it. Take a look at Cyia's query (Non-standard Query -- YA contemporary (

1 2)). Eighty-four words and very effective.

Best of luck,

Jim Clark-Dawe

LizzieFriend · Jan 28, 2011

jclarkdawe said:
If you can sell your book in thirty words, or fifty words, then do it. Most people spend way too many words in their query, and often end up taking a good idea and unselling it. Take a look at Cyia's query (Non-standard Query -- YA contemporary (

1 2)). Eighty-four words and very effective.

Best of luck,

Jim Clark-Dawe

Thanks, Jim! I've seen that query in the QS archives. It's fantastic--definitely a perfect example of how breaking the rules can work. I just posted a version of my query that cut out another 80 words, so we'll see what the QLHers think.

Jamesaritchie · Jan 28, 2011

jclarkdawe said:
My shortest query, to a magazine editor I had done work for before, consisted entirely of "Want?" with the article attached. Response was "Yes." And as is always important, the check arrived in a timely fashion.

If you can sell your book in thirty words, or fifty words, then do it. Most people spend way too many words in their query, and often end up taking a good idea and unselling it. Take a look at Cyia's query (Non-standard Query -- YA contemporary (

1 2)). Eighty-four words and very effective.

Best of luck,

Jim Clark-Dawe

Your query is a lot shorter than mine. I think my shortest query for a novel was, "I'm writing another western. Got room for it now?"

Somehow, I doubt this would work with an agent or editor you hadn't dealt with before.

Barbara R. · Jan 28, 2011

LizzieFriend said:
I've heard queries should be 250 words, but if you can tell your story concisely in 150, should you? Or should you use the extra 80 words to fill out some interesting details?

I'm trying to get a sense of whether shorter is *always* (generally speaking of course, I'm sure there are exceptions) better, or whether cutting down too much can be a problem.

Any thoughts?

250 is on the long side. Agents read and hear so many summaries that their eyes start to glaze over on the third sentence. And most stories sound flat in summary. I had a look at the YA query someone referenced in this thread, and agree that it was first rate. If I were still an agent, I'd have asked to read it on the strength of the writing of the summary: you can see immediately that whoever wrote it has a voice. If you can keep it short and punchy, you're way ahead of the game.

Barbara

LizzieFriend · Jan 28, 2011

Barbara R. said:
250 is on the long side. Agents read and hear so many summaries that their eyes start to glaze over on the third sentence. And most stories sound flat in summary. I had a look at the YA query someone referenced in this thread, and agree that it was first rate. If I were still an agent, I'd have asked to read it on the strength of the writing of the summary: you can see immediately that whoever wrote it has a voice. If you can keep it short and punchy, you're way ahead of the game.

Barbara

Hi Barbara--thanks for the response. I can't remember exactly where I got 250 (just from one source, I'm sure) so it's good to know that's actually considered to be on the long side. Thanks again!

Queries: Is there a point when a query gets too short?

LizzieFriend

katiemac

Five by Five

amyashley

Stunt-Writer

Jamesaritchie

LizzieFriend

LizzieFriend

amyashley

Stunt-Writer

LizzieFriend

jclarkdawe

Feeling lucky, Query?

LizzieFriend

Jamesaritchie

Barbara R.

Old Hand in the Biz

LizzieFriend