Or am I doomed to the eternal pits of hell?
Seriously after all these years I am finally realizing I just don't like them- now they never beat me, abused me, neglected me - anything like that, I think they did they best they knew how to do, but quite frankly they sucked at being parents-
I will be 50 this year and I guess I am re-evaluating my life and this is what I came up with and yeah I feel a little guilty over the fact but I can't change it-
My Mother was always a spoiled child and she is an equally spoiled adult- she has never done anything that did not benifit her in the end- she never went to Any of my school activites - plays, sports, hell she even missed my graduation- first communion and confirmation- we lived only three houses away from my church and elementry school and a block from my HS- they missed my confirmation because they wanted to watch the last part of a mini-series (before VCRs)
My dad was/is an enabler. he created the spoiled monster that my mother is today and as far as I'm concerned he can have her-
He is an okay guy, but par for his generation his idea of being a good father was to provide the essentials for his family-food clothing shelter- which he did-
They are both 80 and in poor health and my sisters think I should resolve my feelings for them while they are both still alive- personally I'm okay with not doing that- my mother is hugely passive aggressive and the times I have tried to tell her the times she had broken my heart, my spirit, my soul as a child she always turned it around that I was persecuting her- she would cry and slamm her bedroom door- can you say denial?
anyway the point of this post was simple purging and was initiated by a comment my mother recently made-
she read my book- told me how much she enjoyed it and then said- "you know I've been right there with you through this journey" (of trying to get published)
Bull- she never even knew I was trying to get published - I gave her a rough draft of my first MS when I was 17- she never read it and never even realized when I took it back- THAT change our realationship forever- but that comment made me see red-
Okay- I'm done and thanks for reading- I am now purged
Seriously after all these years I am finally realizing I just don't like them- now they never beat me, abused me, neglected me - anything like that, I think they did they best they knew how to do, but quite frankly they sucked at being parents-
I will be 50 this year and I guess I am re-evaluating my life and this is what I came up with and yeah I feel a little guilty over the fact but I can't change it-
My Mother was always a spoiled child and she is an equally spoiled adult- she has never done anything that did not benifit her in the end- she never went to Any of my school activites - plays, sports, hell she even missed my graduation- first communion and confirmation- we lived only three houses away from my church and elementry school and a block from my HS- they missed my confirmation because they wanted to watch the last part of a mini-series (before VCRs)
My dad was/is an enabler. he created the spoiled monster that my mother is today and as far as I'm concerned he can have her-
He is an okay guy, but par for his generation his idea of being a good father was to provide the essentials for his family-food clothing shelter- which he did-
They are both 80 and in poor health and my sisters think I should resolve my feelings for them while they are both still alive- personally I'm okay with not doing that- my mother is hugely passive aggressive and the times I have tried to tell her the times she had broken my heart, my spirit, my soul as a child she always turned it around that I was persecuting her- she would cry and slamm her bedroom door- can you say denial?
anyway the point of this post was simple purging and was initiated by a comment my mother recently made-
she read my book- told me how much she enjoyed it and then said- "you know I've been right there with you through this journey" (of trying to get published)
Bull- she never even knew I was trying to get published - I gave her a rough draft of my first MS when I was 17- she never read it and never even realized when I took it back- THAT change our realationship forever- but that comment made me see red-
Okay- I'm done and thanks for reading- I am now purged