I've edited my WIP as much as I can by myself, and I'm looking for a few fresh sets of eyes that can point out any gaping plot holes, leaps in logic, pacing problems, issues with characterization, etc., that I missed. I'm not looking for a line-by-line critique, just honest criticism on the above issues plus anything else you find. I have a thick skin, so you're welcome to be brutal! I'm also happy to beta for you in return.
Here's the rough summary I'm trying to shape into a query:
Sixteen-year-old Mag isn't fussed when her twin sister goes missing. Angry, sure, but not fussed. Running away is as much a part of Philomena's blood as is hemoglobin or plasma.
She is fussed, however, when the police break down her door. Seems Philomena has some part in the murder of a federal agent. With Philomena conveniently gone, all attentions turn to Mag, and they won't believe her when she insists she has no idea where Philomena's gone to. When one of the agents frames her for arson in an attempt to get her to divulge Philomena's whereabouts, she knows she's got to find her sister before her own life implodes into a fiery ball.
One major problem: after some digging, Mag discovers her sister's fled to the Living City, where rumors say the buildings breathe and the sewers suck in unsuspecting bystanders. It's the one place the agents are sure not to follow. And for good reason: everybody knows that NOBODY comes out of the Living City alive.
For the first time in her life, Mag's determined to be a nobody.
Here's the rough summary I'm trying to shape into a query:
Sixteen-year-old Mag isn't fussed when her twin sister goes missing. Angry, sure, but not fussed. Running away is as much a part of Philomena's blood as is hemoglobin or plasma.
She is fussed, however, when the police break down her door. Seems Philomena has some part in the murder of a federal agent. With Philomena conveniently gone, all attentions turn to Mag, and they won't believe her when she insists she has no idea where Philomena's gone to. When one of the agents frames her for arson in an attempt to get her to divulge Philomena's whereabouts, she knows she's got to find her sister before her own life implodes into a fiery ball.
One major problem: after some digging, Mag discovers her sister's fled to the Living City, where rumors say the buildings breathe and the sewers suck in unsuspecting bystanders. It's the one place the agents are sure not to follow. And for good reason: everybody knows that NOBODY comes out of the Living City alive.
For the first time in her life, Mag's determined to be a nobody.
