The strangest thing anyone's said to me in a long time...

Look on the bright side--at least he didn't say, "Can you read?"

I would be a bit offended myself. Apparently you've been mistaken for one of those who never reads yet has the hubris to think their life is interesting enough to write about. We've all met someone like this; stories abound in a thread on here called something like "Dumb Things Non-Writers Say". Anyhoo, being mistaken for some kind of lowbrow who doesn't read should certainly piss you off. Hopefully you snapped back with something...tactful or not....

seun said:

So I just had a wee in their coffee.

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Way to go!

Maybe it was a rhetorical question made just to start conversation on the subject. But I've had people shocked both at that I read or (try) to write. I actually like to see the surprise since I'm the type of person who likes to keep people off balance. The ole sleight of the hand trick

seun said:

"We weren't sure if it was for you. Do you read?"

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To which you say:

"YOU MEAN THAT ISN'T THE DVD?!!!!" Then dissolve into appropriate histrionics / cursing about how you've had it with Blockbuster and their screw ups, you're switching to Netflix.

seun said:

What? This person knows I write. How can I be a writer who doesn't read?

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I only know of one person who writes but doesn't read, used to go to the same local writing group. He won't read because he doesn't want to be influenced. Not been published yet, hasn't tried as far as I know. I've seen some of his writing and his technique is poor, but he writes some really entertaining stuff.

They probably weren't sure how you'd turn pages with your knuckles dragging on the ground.

Here's yer answer -

A writer who doesn't read is like a chef who doesn't eat.

Perks said:

Here's yer answer -

A writer who doesn't read is like a chef who doesn't eat.

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I prefer the 'wee in their coffee' answer.

scarletpeaches said:

I prefer the 'wee in their coffee' answer.

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Let's be practical. How easy, honestly, is that sort of aim?

Um, don't you work in a LIBRARY? I thought that was sort of a prerequisite.

I don't get the writer who doesn't read thing. That makes NO SENSE. Completely ridiculous notion. I read more because I write.

Perks said:

Let's be practical. How easy, honestly, is that sort of aim?

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Squat and hover, Jamie my love. Squat and hover.

amyashley said:

Um, don't you work in a LIBRARY? I thought that was sort of a prerequisite.

I don't get the writer who doesn't read thing. That makes NO SENSE. Completely ridiculous notion. I read more because I write.

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Because I work in cafes or restaurants, people ask me what I'm doing at university. I reply 'Scottish Literature', they then look at me like I've just dropped from a dog's bum.

'You, like, read?'

Perks said:

Let's be practical. How easy, honestly, is that sort of aim?

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As a trained barista, you really don't want to hear my answer.

You might want to stay out of my coffee shop too.

gothicangel said:

As a trained barista, you really don't want to hear my answer.

You might want to stay out of my coffee shop too.

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Mine's a mocha choco latte chunky venti frothy cappufrappecystitis, please, barista.

Gotta love PissBucks.

I once had a coworker call me illiterate. Okay, so she probably didn't even know what "illiterate" meant, given her own state of literacy. I had to leave the room, as if I'd just been hit with a loathsome racial/ethnic/religious slur. OMG, the "I" word!

As this person called herself a fat stupid slut with remarkable self-complacency, there was no hitting her back with verbal ammunition.

seun once called me a Dan Brown fan, the shiny-headed ratbastard.

Why is he still alive?

He isn't.

For the last year, AW has been slowly taken over by an army of PeachBots, one at a time.

seun is an android, as is Perks, Buster, Medievalist and the bunneh. My army grows in number. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

I will create an army of zombies and rise up AGAINST YOU!!!! We will kill you with kindness, smother you with gigantic oversize images of Gerard BUtler, and bribe you with cupcakes.

You WILL be assimilated.

Pfft. You'll never manage it, not when your zombie army's body parts start dropping off come the revolution.

We have ghoul seamstresses at the ready to sew them back on. You don't understand, you. We are very serious about our nefarious designs.


We even have...GODIVA!