The person below me

True, but I only use a wooden spatula. I have a non-stick face.


The person below me pretends they're a race car driver on their way to work every morning.

False. I try not to go to work.

The person below me IS below me. Simply. Not. As. Good. As. Me.

False. I'm above you. Just look.


The person below me is looking forward to Valentine's Day so they can pig out on candy.

False. Jewelry. Gimmee!!!

The person below me politely calls everyone ma'am, regardless of gender.

False, I'm afraid. But thanks for the laugh!

The person below me has worked at least in one shitty job during their lifetime so far.

True.

The person below me knows how to play chess.

True. Sorta.

The person below me wants to play Twister with his sister, mister.

False. I don't have a sister and these joints don't bend how they used to.

The person below me knows pi to more than 5 decimal places.

True. I want pie to all the decimal points!

The person below me saves up for all the latest "As Seen on TV" products.

False. Seriously false.

The person below me hasn't had a cold in over a year.

Tralse.

The person below me sneeze can only make consonant sounds

True... False... *Brain explodes*

The person below me didn't eat breakfast yesterday.

~Amber~

False. The most important meal of the day, dahlink.

The person below me chews ice.

Not anymore. I started taking iron supplements and my craving for ice ceased.

The person below me was off work yesterday.

True! And hopefully every day for the rest of my life!

The person below me pinches others whenever they think they can get away with it.

False. A babysitter's daughter used to pinch me when I was a kid. I dislike pinching.

The person below me stayed up writing all night last night.

False. I did stay up later than I wanted to finishing reading a book.

The person below me owns at least one article (hat, gloves, coat, etc.) that is at least partially made from natural fur.

True. I assume my G-string counts.


The person below believes in reincanation (that's when you come back in a can).

False.

The person below me needs to go to the dentist.

False. I went two weeks ago, and my mouth's still a little sore. Good dentist, just fat fingers.

The person below me uses WD40 to loosen the finger joints for a day of writing.

False. I use an alarm and reset it throughout the day.

The person below me is allergic to peanuts.

False. I'm eating right out of a peanut butter canister as we speak.

The person below me has a sick obsession with gummy candy.

false. The occasional bear is nothing but an indulgence.


The person below me forgot something very important a long time ago...

False. I didn't forget it, it died.

The person below me used to collect something as a kid.

So true! 52 issues of an older-kids Fantasy/Sci-Fi picture story book complete with playing cards and special bonuses. The complete collection of the limited edition magazine called "Bugs". Books on Dinosaurs. Toy cars, so that I could race them around the living room on tracks made from pencils. Video games.

I collected a lot of stuff as a kid. I still have some of it... somewhere.

The person below me has called someone a "young whippersnapper" before, preferably more than once.