Say it here because you can't say it directly: the get if off your chest thread

LittleSpider said:

...It's not a place to air personal issues on the forums thought. I'll start.

When I got upset because, as you remember it, you critiqued my writing, I was actually upset because you had moved on from my writing and into my personal life. You weren't critiquing the essay anymore. You were critiquing my life choices.

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You are contradicting the purpose of this thread by airing a "personal issue" right off the bat.

Or am I not understanding the topic?

LittleSpider said:

I do want to note that the person I was imagining speaking to above is not someone from this forum or who would ever read this forum.

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First of all, welcome to the cooler
I'm glad to have this cleared up, LS. Hopefully your experience here will be better.

MIL: You asked me if I thought it was wrong that you wanted your boys to be doctors and I replied, "I think it's good to have high aspirations for your children. That they become doctors seems very specific."

What I meant was that I think it is weird that you have run a Montessori school for more than 25 years, dedicated to creating self-directed, intellectually curious and independent kids and at the same time would accept no other career goal for your own children than that they become doctors. I was pretty surprised when, despite his Phd in Neurosciences, JD and CPA (which he supported himself through), you announced in front of his friends that your son (my DH) is "not the kind of doctor that helps people". I also think it's weird that you raised him to be hard working, but see the long hours he put in as a scientist and now as a lawyer as evidence that he is a failure. My mind is boggled.

Carry on.

LittleSpider said:

...I do want to note that the person I was imagining speaking to above is not someone from this forum or who would ever read this forum...

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That wasn't apparent from your original post, which had me thinking you were referring to a member of this site.

Thanks for the clarification.

To my bro: you can't demand tons more consideration from others than you give yourself. Seriously, being the most insulting person someone has ever met while demanding a Princess and the Pea level of gushing and attention is against the rules of the universe. You, sir, are a big old ass.

To sis:

You have a giant ego. I can't wait for you to move out with your boyfriend (who also has a giant ego). And stop using my toiletries. You have a high-paying job and I'm unemployed. So why do you use my ear-cleaners, toothpaste and hair brush? And stop acting like I should clean the house every single time. You act as if I'm the only one making mess. Have you not noticed the huge amount of peanut butter left on 1 knife EVERY SINGLE MORNING by your boyfriend, who virtually lives here and has never paid rent?

Oh, I like this.

MIL: Just because you talk more and louder doesn't mean you are right.

czjaba said:

Oh, I like this.

MIL: Just because you talk more and louder doesn't mean you are right.

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That's no way to talk about my mother.

Can I steal that line?

To our New, Next-Door Neighbors:

Your barking dogs are getting on my last DANGED nerve!!!!!

Dear everyone,
I feel like crap. Be nice to me or go away.

Dear neighbor,
I had a very nice time this morning watching you try to remove an enormous tree stump with a bulldozer. I can tell you've never done this before. You looked like a child playing the claw game for stuffed animal. Hire a professional. You wasted three hours and all you managed to do was remove some of the bark. I hate you.

Dear Husband,
You've been off work for two weeks now and every day you have found a new "project" to work on around the house. I appreciate all you do around here, but if I have to listen to your 80's butt rock CDs vibrating through the wall from the garage for another minute, I'm going to blow up your stereo. Love ya.

Dear children,
If you are bored, it is not my job to entertain you. You have books, video games and an acre of land to play on. Figure it out.

Dear city surveyor guy,
My yard is private property, not a parking lot. If you park in my field again, I'm going to have you towed, just because I can.

Dear moron who caused the traffic jam on the I-5 bridge this morning,
If your car is held together by duct tape, don't take it on the freeway. You're lucky you didn't get come out of that ordeal in pieces.

To the askers of stupid question number one

Of course I farted. What do you think, I always smell like this?

Dear Boss:

Call me a f#ck up one more time after YOU break something. I dare you.

Mum:

I really love your habit of scheduling a busy day of workmen fucking about with the house when you know you're going to be elsewhere. I love the fact that I have to sit around the house, not doing anything loud (ie. music, DVD, whatever) because the workmen might need something and they only ever knock on the door instead of ringing the doorbell, or understandably don't know what part of the house I'm in and so they just wander around looking for me. It's totally awesome that my own plans of going out and having a barest semblance of a life (shopping, coffee, socialising with the cute barista) are not factored into your own devious plans to leave me home alone with 4 large workmen. And I love the fact that this has happened roughly 20 times in the past 12 months.

Mum, I'm being sarcastic. Take responsibility for your own damn house. You could've missed a couple days of work when they were fixing the balcony, and had the building company reimburse you for time off, seeing as how the builders were the ones who fucked the balcony in the first place. And today? You didn't even have work, you had 3 workmen coming around, and yet you decided to go into work and get a head start on the stuff you failed to finish last year due to having been on a 2 week holiday you yourself said you could hardly afford.

Mum, you've tried to teach me responsibility and wisdom, but now I see why it never really stuck. You're a hypocrite.

And the workmen are still here, it's 3.30pm, and my chances of getting out to the store are slipping away through my fingers. Good work.

Sister: Ok so you closed the deal on the *&@# piece of land we had to sell. You came out $400 richer from our brother and me, from just about extorting your "fee". Fee my ass. You got greedy. You know I'm struggling to hold on to my house, and you are a *&@#.

Sister: We're not going to move to our mom's condo no matter how much you want us to. That's that.

My fellow female coworkers, please learn to parallel park. You don't need to leave an extra six feet in front and back of your vehicle. The absence of Y chromosome doesn't excuse you from developing parking skills.

Dear landlord/housemate: You can't insult me and call me dirty and lazy when you won't live up to the same standards of tidiness that you demand of me. I'm not a guest, I'm paying to live in this house. Also, I work full time and come home late. You're unemployed. You have much more time to do your share of the chores than I have to do mine. I didn't demand special treatment, I demanded fairness.
And don't take that tone with me, I wouldn't take it from someone I care about and I most certainly will not take it from you!

This is why I'm moving out... I have a month to find somewhere for me and my cat to live in. You know it's time to leave when your housemate returns from holiday and the first thing he does is throw something at you.

LittleSpider said:

My toddler: It's really not grade-A comedy when you lick your hand and then rub it on me.

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To LittleSpider's toddler: That was total grade-A comedy.

My fellow men everywhere: Even though you are only standing up in the sit-down facilities you still need to flush.

PS: Are you colorblind? Can you not see the puddles of yellow coating the seat? If you don't want to wipe it off why do you think I want to?