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Penguin
01-02-2011, 04:18 AM
Hey, guys :),

I’m looking for a few betas for my YA Contemporary, Cruiser. It’s been read by one beta. The story is told from both male and female POV and has about 71k words. Here is the link to the first chapter on Share Your Work http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=183577, and below is a summary:

Rejected by his parents for his failure to fit into their “perfect son” mold, seventeen-year-old Cruiser Dalton needs to escape his hellhole of a home. Only two people hold him back: his twin brother, Rey, and his ex-best friend, Lex Woods, the girl who owns his heart.

Cruiser should really hold a grudge against his brother. Nothing says sibling rivalry like twins fighting for their parents’ approval. But unlike his parents, Rey accepts Cruiser for the person he is. Always looks up to him for guidance. So when Rey screws up by causing the accident that paralyzes Lex’s little sister, Cruiser takes the blame. It’s not like he’s got anything to lose. Unlike Rey, who has a bright future ahead of him.

Knowing that the girl of his dreams will never forgive him for ruining her family’s life, Cruiser gives his love to her the only way he can—by coaching Rey to be the perfect boyfriend to Lex. At least this way, he’s got some sort of connection to her.

But when Rey leaves for England, Cruiser jumps at the chance to confess his true feelings to Lex. He soon learns that the accident is not the reason Lex turned cold against him. He broke her heart three years ago, and Lex’s been masking her pain and love for him with hatred ever since.

Now only one question remains: whether Cruiser can get his girl to forgive him and stop him from taking off for good.


What I’m looking for in a beta: I’m really not picky, so I’m grateful for anything you have to offer (be as harsh as you like ;)).

I need:

1) Someone to read my MS to see if you understand the plot and see the overall picture, whether my characters are 3-D, and areas where my plot can be strengthened.

2) Someone to look at the actual writing, see if the voices in both POVs work, whether I need to put more “show”, whether the dialogue is realistic, whether my scenes are believable, etc.

I’d love to return the favor, and if we like each other’s styles, I’m hoping we can become permanent beta partners (if you want to, of course :D)

My MS has cursing.

PM me if you’re interested. Thanks!