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Mr Flibble
12-21-2010, 10:00 PM
So, we'll all be getting pressies we don't want. I thought we could swap my 'WTF have you bought me?' for your 'Seriously, what is that?'


I'll start. I have been given pleurisy, a course of antibiotics and an unpaid week off work. Any offers?

bettielee
12-21-2010, 10:02 PM
I'll take the unpaid week off work and give you this awesome pair of mittens so tiny I don't think a Japanese school girl could wear and this old hunk of some sort of homebaked catastrophy... I think it's walnut bread... or it has walnuts on the top, or it has growths that look like walnuts....

alleycat
12-21-2010, 10:04 PM
Someone once gave me a battery powered electric tie rack ("Hey, look, it will save you from having to reach over that extra eight inches!"). I still have the thing in the original box (because I sure ain't planning on using it).

I will swap for just about anything but a Chia pet or one of those Fushigi balls.

Mr Flibble
12-21-2010, 10:13 PM
I will swap for just about anything but a Chia pet or one of those Fushigi balls.

One dose of pleurisy in the post!

scarletpeaches
12-21-2010, 10:14 PM
I've got Karl Urban loafing around the house and he's not really much use to me. You can have him for Aidan Turner and a bucket of maltesers.

Mr Flibble
12-21-2010, 10:16 PM
I've got Karl Urban loafing around the house and he's not really much use to me. You can have him for Aidan Turner and a bucket of maltesers.


It just so happens I have an Aidan in the cellar. He might be a bit shop soiled. But I'll add in some Quality Street?

Writer5
12-21-2010, 10:19 PM
I've had pleurisy, so no thanks. I'd rather work (except that I'm retired) but if I come up with a mild cold or sore throat after you've healed, maybe we can talk then. Get well!

alleycat
12-21-2010, 10:20 PM
One dose of pleurisy in the post!
Do I get the week off as well?

scarletpeaches
12-21-2010, 10:20 PM
It just so happens I have an Aidan in the cellar. He might be a bit shop soiled. But I'll add in some Quality Street?Ooh, my favourite! Bung in a bottle of lucozade and I'll send you some free baby oil for the jacuzzi. :D

Writer5
12-21-2010, 10:21 PM
I was given something similar and called it "wart" cake. Why do people do that? Don't they taste what they make before sending it out to others? Or maybe they DO taste it and that's why they give it away.

CatSlave
12-21-2010, 10:36 PM
I'm hoping to get a bobble-head Cthulhu and a President Obama Chia pet head.

Priene
12-21-2010, 11:17 PM
I've got a crate of Owd Roger, a Heston Blumenthal christmas pud, a 1978 Rich Kids T-Shirt and sclerosis of the soul. I'll give it all to the person who can guarantee Bruce Forsyth never appears on television again.

Shakesbear
12-21-2010, 11:32 PM
I've got torn ligaments in my shoulder (don't ask!) for which I have been given pain killers which are bigger than smarties and are shocking pink. Priene if I send you some of the pink pills you won't care if BF appears on the telly again - you won't even care if it is Monday or breakfast.

Kaiser-Kun
12-21-2010, 11:45 PM
A sticker bearing the confederate flag and text HERITAGE, NOT HATE appeared in my car trunk last month. Take it away fro me.

Mr Flibble
12-21-2010, 11:47 PM
I've got a crate of Owd Roger, a Heston Blumenthal christmas pud, a 1978 Rich Kids T-Shirt and sclerosis of the soul. I'll give it all to the person who can guarantee Bruce Forsyth never appears on television again.


I'll take your Owd Roger (and probably some liver failure). *loads shotgun* All right my love?

RichardLeon
12-21-2010, 11:50 PM
I have -10C of cold.

Would consider a swap with someone who owns a Caribbean island and has a lot of stuff that needs to be kept chilled. (Fish fingers, pizza, flesh eating shape shifters from space, etc.)

Caitlin Black
12-22-2010, 01:06 AM
I'll take the -10C of cold weather, and I'll offer up this lovely pack of soluble Panadol which taste horrible.

Jersey Chick
12-22-2010, 01:17 AM
I have a really creepy Raggedy Ann and Andy doll-thing (they are conjoined, to make them creepier still) that sings I Got You Babe. For some reason known only to her, my MIL gave it to me last Christmas. I don't know why.

(I made my husband put it out in the shed because I can't sleep if it - they?- are in the same house as me.)

Devil Ledbetter
12-22-2010, 01:44 AM
I have a wicked crush on a barista half my age. Would gladly trade that for some high-end wrinkle cream.

Caitlin Black
12-22-2010, 02:09 AM
Sorry Devil - I already have a wicked crush on a barista. Though she's not half my age... if she were half my age she'd be 13, and that'd just be so wrong... I'd guess she's actually about 20.

I have a DVD copy of Alien that someone can take if they want it.

bettielee
12-22-2010, 04:17 AM
I have a wicked crush on a barista half my age. Would gladly trade that for some high-end wrinkle cream.

omg.. there is a Latin Colin Ferrel (sp?!) at my Starbucks. I get all goofy when he ...serves me....

tiny
12-22-2010, 06:09 AM
I have the most beautiful case of strep. It's warm, cozy and a good year. Smooth, however, it is not. Enjoy it with your family and friends. Who'd like a bit? Don't all jump at once. There's enough to go around.

Jersey Chick
12-22-2010, 06:11 AM
So, no one wants the creepy conjoined Raggedy Ann and Andy dolls?

I. Am. Shocked. ;)

tiny
12-22-2010, 06:19 AM
So, no one wants the creepy conjoined Raggedy Ann and Andy dolls?

I. Am. Shocked. ;)

If you take the whole case I've got, I'll take the dolls. What do you say?

Caitlin Black
12-22-2010, 06:24 AM
I just received a present that I want to get rid of:

A thank-you note from last semester's Uni lecturer, who I did not like.

I'll accept nothing less than a coffee-maker for this valuable item. :D

Jersey Chick
12-22-2010, 06:24 AM
Hmmm... are there any good drugs involved?


Wait... I can't get sick, no matter how many drugs are involved. Sadly, I think I gotta keep those creepy dolls. You know how creepy they are if I was considering swapping for strep. :D

Cella
12-22-2010, 06:25 AM
*drops box of ceramic "tumbling" snowmen at thread's door*
*leaves*

tiny
12-22-2010, 06:30 AM
Hmmm... are there any good drugs involved?


Wait... I can't get sick, no matter how many drugs are involved. Sadly, I think I gotta keep those creepy dolls. You know how creepy they are if I was considering swapping for strep. :D

Dang... maybe they're too creepy for strep. They sound like the staring into your soul kind of dolls.

I have a ceramic Santa that appears to have no pants on. Don't tell my mom, she thought he was 'charming'.

Devil Ledbetter
12-22-2010, 06:31 AM
Sadly, I think I gotta keep those creepy dolls. You know how creepy they are if I was considering swapping for strep. :DI will take your creepy cojoined raggedy Anne and Andy if you will take the neighbor brat who threw a chunk of ice at my boy's face today, badly bruising him just in time for holiday photos.

I could have him delivered to your door fresh or frozen.

Caitlin Black
12-22-2010, 06:36 AM
I'll take the bad kid free of charge, delivered fresh please. I could use a new slave...

Does anyone have some handcuffs I could get? I'll offer up a yellowing and breaking-apart pillow, and half a bottle of Jim Beam.

Jersey Chick
12-22-2010, 06:40 AM
I swear, they are in the shed because I couldn't sleep knowing they were in the house. They are eeeeevil.

Devil, I hope your son's okay. You know, if you beat the brat with a big icicle, the evidence will melt and no one will be able to prove it was you.

just something to keep in mind

tiny
12-22-2010, 06:43 AM
Directly from Christmas past, I have a four piece, black lacquer and plastic and gold paint pen, Asian wall hanging of the seasons. It's hideous and went directly to the back of my closet four years ago waiting for the time when it could be revealed in all it's glory... on someone else's wall. It's huge people. Take it. I don't even need a trade. It could be my gift to someone's tacky homage to their gran's living room with the red fighting cock couch under plastic. Please.

I'm begging.





Devil, hope the boy is okay.

Devil Ledbetter
12-22-2010, 06:43 AM
I
Devil, I hope your son's okay. You know, if you beat the brat with a big icicle, the evidence will melt and no one will be able to prove it was you.

just something to keep in mind
I'm shipping him off to Cliff Face, along with the previous two decades of my life so I can be the appropriate age to woo the young barista. Cliff could use a couple of more decades, right?

My son is okay. He just has a couple of welts the size of half dollars on his cheek, and a scrape.

BeatrixKiddo
12-22-2010, 06:53 AM
I have a really creepy Raggedy Ann and Andy doll-thing (they are conjoined, to make them creepier still) that sings I Got You Babe. For some reason known only to her, my MIL gave it to me last Christmas. I don't know why.

(I made my husband put it out in the shed because I can't sleep if it - they?- are in the same house as me.)


I bet those eyes follow every move don't they? My mom bought a ceramic cat at Goodwill about a month ago. It has those "types" of eyes. Creeps me out. Creepy cat for creepy doll trade? ;)

Caitlin Black
12-22-2010, 07:26 AM
I'm shipping him off to Cliff Face, along with the previous two decades of my life so I can be the appropriate age to woo the young barista. Cliff could use a couple of more decades, right?

My son is okay. He just has a couple of welts the size of half dollars on his cheek, and a scrape.

Mwuahahhaahhahha! My slave is in the mail!

I'll take one of your decades, but you'll have to unload the other one elsewhere.

Devil Ledbetter
12-22-2010, 07:28 AM
Mwuahahhaahhahha! My slave is in the mail!

I'll take one of your decades, but you'll have to unload the other one elsewhere.
I will give it to the barista. Purrrrrfect.

Caitlin Black
12-22-2010, 07:34 AM
It's win-win-win-lose (the lose being my horrible slave kid).

Jersey Chick
12-22-2010, 07:37 AM
I bet those eyes follow every move don't they? My mom bought a ceramic cat at Goodwill about a month ago. It has those "types" of eyes. Creeps me out. Creepy cat for creepy doll trade? ;)
Not on a bet.

I think those dolls are going to come after me one of these nights.

kayleamay
12-22-2010, 07:37 AM
A hand-embroidered pillowcase with my name on it. Misspelled.

Who wants it?

poetinahat
12-22-2010, 07:46 AM
I do! My Aunt Yakmalayee will love it!

I can give you a halter top made of Budweiser pull tabs, and a pair of "male/female" symbol mood earrings.

kayleamay
12-22-2010, 07:47 AM
I do! My Aunt Yakmalayee will love it!

I can give you a halter top made of Budweiser pull tabs, and a pair of "male/female" symbol mood earrings.

You're on! I've been asking for one of those Budweiser halters for years. YEARS!

BeatrixKiddo
12-22-2010, 07:54 AM
Not on a bet.

I think those dolls are going to come after me one of these nights.


lol. A la Chuckie Style?

You could give them a doll funeral. Just tell whomever asks, the surgery to separate them went poorly and once one died, one simply couldn't survive without the other. (1. You've just found an excuse to get rid of them for good, and 2. you can pretend that you buried them out of "love" if anyone questions your "actions")

CatSlave
12-22-2010, 08:09 AM
I have an idea for a new birthday or holiday tradition. Say, for April Fool's Day.

Invite all your friends to a potluck party, with instructions to bring a wrapped gift, the more horrible the better.
Everyone who brings a gift gets to put their name in a hat.
The group leader starts pulling out names one at a time, and each person gets to select a gift in turn.

It's like a white elephant swap meet, lots of fun.
Especially when everyone can enjoy the look on the face of the recipient of conjoined dolls.

CatSlave
12-22-2010, 08:33 AM
Or even better, make it a Twelfth Night party on January 6th and have Krampus hand out the gifts everyone brought.
Drink eggnog, dance around a fire, and have everyone roll in the snow and swat each other with evergreen branches.
Clothing optional. *grin*

Do I know how to party, or what?

BardSkye
12-22-2010, 08:46 AM
:Hail:

Smish
12-22-2010, 08:52 AM
I was given a scarf a few days ago that smelled like onions and had crumbs on it (onion ring crumbs?).

Clearly this person took the scarf she was wearing and stuck it in a gift bag...

I really, really want the Budweiser halter top, but I see kayleamay's already nabbed it. K - can I interest you in a stinky scarf? It's very cold outside... wouldn't you rather have a cuddly warm scarf than a halter top? :rolleyes:

Caitlin Black
12-25-2010, 09:32 AM
I'll offer up an ugly T-shirt (size large) with horizontal stripes. I just got it today, and I know I'm never ever going to wear it...

Strangely enough, I got 2 T-shirts from mum for Christmas. The other one said, "I'm not drunk, I'm just chemically imbalanced." How can she have such good taste with the slogan T, and then add the sort of T you see homeless people wearing?

*shakes head*

It's free for any takers. (And if you're wondering how ugly it is - it is VERY ugly. So ugly I capitalised instead of italicising. Yeah.)

Button
12-26-2010, 02:36 AM
I ate some fruit cake and then promptly spit it out. Any takers? There's only a little slobber...

CatSlave
12-26-2010, 04:05 AM
I ate some fruit cake and then promptly spit it out. Any takers? There's only a little slobber...
So you got The Fruitcake this year; this one has been in circulation since about 1965.

Eudoxia
12-26-2010, 05:20 AM
I'm giving up a tunic (Size: Medium) that's in between the colors of light steel-blue and dark slate-blue. It has a sort of weird design on the front....not sure how to explain it, but it just makes the tunic look terrible. The tunic also doesn't really fit me. It's too over-sized and it's not made with cotton so I doubt it will shrink. It's like one of those kinds of clothes that your grandma buys/wears.

If you want it, you can have it.

CatSlave
12-26-2010, 05:39 AM
When you're a grandma, you can get away with wearing weird shit and people think it's cute.

Caitlin Black
12-26-2010, 06:31 AM
I'll take the tunic, just so I can say I own a tunic. :) Same goes for anyone wanting to get rid of a cape...

But someone, please, take my crappy striped-makes-me-look-fatter-than-usual T-shirt!!!

Neurotic
12-26-2010, 07:36 AM
I have a really creepy Raggedy Ann and Andy doll-thing (they are conjoined, to make them creepier still) that sings I Got You Babe. For some reason known only to her, my MIL gave it to me last Christmas. I don't know why.

(I made my husband put it out in the shed because I can't sleep if it - they?- are in the same house as me.)

Kill them with fire. Here.

http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5085/5291657775_44490577ed.jpg

http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5285/5291657657_9ae0568516.jpg

I don't need anything in return. Knowing they've been obliterated is reward enough for me.