Nonresponsive agent

did you sign a contract with him?

This sounds like the kind of agent whose style doesn't mesh well with yours. If you need a responsive agent and he isn't one then you should try to find a responsive agent. if you can.

I like to suggest telling people you're unhappy. (I'm a scardy cat an hate doing such things). if you're not under contract, find other interested agents then tell him you're unhappy and if this won't change then you need to go your ways. maybe he'll change or promise to change or accept that you can't work well together and you'll have already checked with other agents...

my 2 cents...

GOOD LUCK

I dont think there is a "normal" with agents. I'd send him a polite e-mail voicing your concerns

Nancy, I don't have an answer regarding the agent, but what a great adventure!

Nancy,

Did you discuss a potential timeline with him initially? I ask because from my own experience he's not being particularly dilatory. I found that once I handed over work to my agent, time slowed, the world almost stopped. I had to abandon all notions of haste and hurry. Not because she's not responsive, she really is, and I'm blessed to have her, but because publishing is a twilight zone that operates on whatever the opposite of dog years is.

I guess I'm saying that for an agent not to get to something in a couple of months is not even close to being a surprise to me -- unless, as I said, you'd initially discussed some sort of timeline.

Good luck!

Mark

nancy sv said:

He originally told me he would like to shop it around in November - implying that it would have to be finished in October. Then he said he would like to shop it around in january, which means it would need to be finished in December.

I guess this is more or less normal, then? I won't worry at this point and will see how it goes.

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I think it's time for a conversation. Things happen, and he may have been knocked off your book by other things with the best of intentions, but the above is a concern to me. Two missed shopping targets is one thing. The lack of response is another.

There's no way to know what's going on with him or why this is happening without asking, but I think you do need to ask him at this point. A polite, professional email stating your concerns and inquiring when you should expect to be back in working order should be enough to provide some answers and get things on track again. If it's not, now's the time to find that out. You've got an interesting story, nancy sv. Please don't let an agent who's not passionate about selling it shop it around to houses.

I remember reading about you in the Guardian in the summer.

If it were me in your situation, I would force myself to bit the bullet and ring the agent up for a conversation. It may be that he hasn't got back to you because he's busy or he's trying to clear his desk before xmas - whatever. The bottom line is that all you have is a verbal contract and that isn't worth anything. As you say, you want to capitalise on the coverage you are getting right now and that isn't happening. There isn't even any obligation on his part to make that happen. For me, I think this needs a conversation to satisfy yourself everything is going as it should.

It is a scary thing to do, but you are (potentially) employing this bloke. It is not an unreasonable thing to get a written contract sorted out between you. It's not an unreasonable thing to ring him up if he hasn't answered your emails and twitter (Although personally I think twittering somebody is a bad idea, even a DM).
If he's changed his mind about it, grand, but you need to know so you can go out and make alternative arangements.

Best of luck with it.

It sounds to me like there are two issues. One, he feels the manuscript itself (or the chapters in the proposal) need work. Two, he hasn't found the right hook. "Family makes 18,000 mile journey by bicycle" isn't as compelling as, say, "Breast cancer survivor rediscovers family, self, and world on an 18,000 mile journey by bicycle." I don't know your story, so obviously I made up that last one.

I'm not trying to suggest you have to make something up -- only that you need to find the *emotional hook* underlying your journey. What did you learn? How were you changed? THAT's the story. Eat, Pray, Love became a bestseller because of how the author was changed by the events of the book, not because of the exotic travel experiences.

The writing changes he needs may not be a reflection of your writing style/talent/abilities, but merely a statement that the book will need to be re-visioned once the hook becomes clear.

nancy sv said:

This is what I have in the proposal - any suggestions?

The Ultimate Field Trip: A Family Cycles to the Ends of the World is the story of two young boys growing up and gaining their independence as they explore their world on bicycles. It’s the story of a mother and father grappling with the uncertainty of allowing their children to reach for the stars. In the end, it’s a story of a family uniting and working together toward a common goal.

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I think I'm a bit puzzled by the agent's response; if the 'hook' isn't clear to him, then maybe the two of you need to have a conversation and process it more. I can't say for sure, but it might be possible for you to find an agent who sees the hook right off and can give you the direction you need. It would be frustrating to sit, waiting endlessly for feedback he might not ever be able to give.

re: suggestions...I think the first two sentences are interesting/intriguing, but the final one is not nearly as unique and kind of kills off the uniqueness initiated by the first two sentences.

Remember, as you write this, that even though it's a memoir that recounts your family's journey, all throughout you need to answer the readers' question "What's in this for me?" What is your 'take-away?' What do you hope will occur in the reader as a result of reading your book. That might help you come up with a stronger conclusion. (For example, do you want it to be an inspiration/guidebook for other families to do the same kind of thing? Do you want it to encourage people to live a more adventurous life or to trust their children with bigger experiences? The answers to those kinds of questions will help address the 'structural' issues the agent mentioned. The writing itself is an easier thing to work on. Without the purpose/structure for the book, there isn't really anyplace to go with it.)

It would be more interesting if you include a few words about the adventures along the way..flat tires, foreign languages, roadside hazards, encountering kind people (and maybe some who aren't so kind)...something about how "This journey to explore the world taught them each more about themselves and each other."

If you were to sum up your trip at this point, what would you say about it?

I'm a little stunned that your agent doesn't think the hook is clear. Really?

PortableHal said:

I'm a little stunned that your agent doesn't think the hook is clear. Really?

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^This.

You: "Hey - we've just cycled 18,000 miles and we have the story of a personal family adventure with bears and cliff hangers and danger and kids and stuff. On a family bike. Is that a book?"

Agent: "Nope."

Mmm, k.

The lack of a contract is also cause for serious concern. It implies - let's be kind - a level of commitment that may be less than enthusiastic and total.

Unless your writing really, really sucks rancid moose fewmets I'd be considering a Plan B, agentwise.

What you currently have as your "hook" or "elevator pitch" is what is in your mom-heart, but all the stuff about bears and volcano's and stranded families is what will hook a reader. There is probably a way to mesh the two. (I have to say that it's a bit incongruous to me to talk about letting boys grow up and find their "independence" when one of them is riding a bike hooked to you.)

It seems like most of us here think you clearly have a great story to tell; but refining your messaging to capitalize on the inherent excitement might help you take it further.

nancy sv said:

This is what I have in the proposal - any suggestions?

The Ultimate Field Trip: A Family Cycles to the Ends of the World is the story of two young boys growing up and gaining their independence as they explore their world on bicycles. It’s the story of a mother and father grappling with the uncertainty of allowing their children to reach for the stars. In the end, it’s a story of a family uniting and working together toward a common goal.

Click to expand...

I bolded the part that I think is weak. "letting their children reach for the stars" does not mean a single thing to me.

You are bicycling across a jillion miles...WHY? To teach your children values about culture that you cannot teach them in the city? To make sure they have really muscular calves? What? I think when you boil down what you are trying to show with this trip (and book), you'll have a more direct hook.

My two cents:

The agent must have seen something in the proposal to sign you on. Why not directly ask him if he thinks this book is worth his time or not. Sounds like he's dragging his feet for a reason. The anticipated writing style? The draw for readers? A hook in itself, since he already took you on as a client, shouldn't be the only reason.

At this point in time, arrange by email for him to call you to discuss this.

Then you can decide if he's the right agent for you. Agents and clients should be able to communicate and work together.

So sorry to hear that.....

I agree with Irysangel and CAWriter -- the journey itself isn't enough of a hook. How were you and your family transformed by this adventure? What did you learn about yourself and about each other? What personal challenges did you overcome? IMO, without the personal angle, all you have is a bunch of travel anecdotes.

I'd consider thinking about your bike trip through a storytelling lens (with narrative arc, character development, conflict, building tension, climax, etc.). In my experience, memorable non-fiction still incorporates fiction techniques to tell a compelling story. That might help you develop a hook. Good luck!

Hi nancy,

I'm throwing in my hat with CAWriter, Irys and Bubastes-I think what may be the issue is that what you've set out is cliched ("reaching for the stars," "hanging in there will yield rewards," and so on). They're all worthy sentiments, but they (imo) dilute your experience.

For example: you, your husband and your kids just took three months out of your lives to take this incredible trip. Why? What would make you put aside that much time, put in that much commitment? What you did was incredibly special, but you have to boil down your experiences so that the emotion and realness come through.

Like Bubastes said, tell a story. And good luck! .