View Full Version : Lovely Betas for a YA/Urban Fantasy? *puppy dog eyes*

12-18-2010, 12:51 AM
Hi guys and gals of the beta forum!

I'm thinking of suspending my querying process in order to get a few more beta reads! Here's the details;

-FEAR ITSELF/SIGHTLESS is a 84k-word Urban Fantasy/YA with light Sci-Fi elements and a strong, spunky heroine. A quick blurb as though you'd be reading the back of the book;

Noa Lockhart is the cure to an alien disease.

It wasn't in her plans, of course. Noa just wanted to finish school at the prissy private high her mother's sent her to, and maybe dodge around the uptight aunt she's now living with. Noa didn't expect to be the cure - inside her is a potent catalyst that a secretive government organization will kill for, and an alien race will die for.

The aliens send a magnetic young man named Shadus Grey to retrieve the cure, and the GCIP send hordes of ruthless agents after Noa. Caught between two sides of a covert war, Noa must fight - and kill - to defend herself and the ones she loves.

Link to the first chapter is here (but please keep in mind it has changed since then, it's not quite as turn-offish spicy);


It's first person POV, and polished until it gleams, but it needs more beta advice.

I'd be looking for;

-Comments on overall chapters
-Most any comments in general
-Syntax comments if you can
-Grammar comments if you can
-Plothole/loop spotting
-Anything else you can think of.

Please PM me if you're interested, and thanks in advance. @___@

12-23-2010, 04:41 AM
i started reading and I"d be willing to work with you, in exchange for reading my work? feel free to email me at rsr6680@rit.edu

12-23-2010, 08:33 AM
I'm also interested, I'm a pretty prompt and thorough beta, my MS is 95k YA fantasy. If you're interested, email me at lukewarmshadow@hotmail.com.