Book Query Review

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Button

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I wasn't sure where to put this, but I had a wild new concept to write a book on and I've been researching and talking with supporting life coaches and psychologist and other authors who are interested in helping with this project.

This is the letter for this. Would anyone like to offer any tips on improving it?

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The brothers Grimm brought more than princesses and witches to their stories. Other writers have also developed the deeper meanings into our favorite childhood classics, but what practical uses could the have for a modern woman these days? Could Snow White really teach us about patience and looking for the good in everyone?



The Fairy Tale Life will offer a look at the deeper meanings to fairy tales and their practical application techniques to improve your life. The book will help women pay attention to the way they have created beliefs based on these classics. Tying in certain behaviors with specific fairy tales may help increase the effectiveness of the advice on living a better life.



Women do like to identify with familiar characters, and finding ones that are representative of particular though patters would really lead the way to a revolutionary new technique of thinking.



A similar title, From Cinderella to CEO: How to Master the 10 Lessons of Fairy Tales to Transform you Work Life, focuses more on teaching women about how to become a CEO and working the way up the corporate ladder. The Fairy Tale Life differs by offering a more self-help supporting role for women who are most likely housewives. Imagine the concepts and philosophies of The Uses of Enchantment by Bruno Bettelheim mixed with practical applications from Life Strategies by Phillip C. McGraw.



In addition, I have envisioned supplementary titles about The Fairy Tale Love and The Fairy Tale Faith, with possibly more concepts to add on.



As a freelance writer published in international publications, I feel confident I can create an enchanting book in The Fairy Tale Life.



Would you like to see the proposal and sample chapters?

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Any thoughts? Should I mention a few of my contacts and how they would like to offer support for this?
 

AdamMac

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Hi Button

First off, you're missing a few words here and there. It makes the opening a little hard to follow. You might wanna edit or resubmit this.

I think this is a great idea and you're sure to get a lot of interest from agents and editors. The idea itself, though, didn't really become clear to me until the fourth paragraph - when I read the title of the competing book!

How about:

``I would like you to represent The Fairy Tale Life, a book that will teach readers to improve their lives with nuggets of wisdom from the Seven Dwarves, the Three Little Pigs and the Old Lady Who Lived in a Shoe.''

Or whatever. I just think this very original idea has to ring crystal clear at the outset.

Adam
 

christa

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"``I would like you to represent The Fairy Tale Life, a book that will teach readers to improve their lives with nuggets of wisdom from the Seven Dwarves, the Three Little Pigs and the Old Lady Who Lived in a Shoe.''

Damn Adam. You're good.

Button, I agree with Adam here--it's a bit of a rough read due to some jerky wording. I love your idea but seems to lack the knock-me-down-and-take-my-sox-off sort of pizzazz which is hell-bent in its potential.

Also, your wording comes across somewhat a bit stiff and too formal sometimes with over-elaboratedness. I think the following here makes little sense, you almost lost me altogether:

"Women do like to identify with familiar characters, and finding ones that are representative of particular though patters would really lead the way to a revolutionary new technique of thinking."

I tried to break it down so I could see what exactly you were trying to say:

Women identify with familiar characters. Finding [archetypes] that are representative of particular thought (?) patterns (?) [may] lead to revolutionary new thought.

I'd suggest you do this kind exercise with each paragraph--and then rewrite the tightened version--using something like Adam's lead.

I think you might have something here. Reminds me of a book I know called "Women Who Run with Wolves" or something like that.

Good luck!




 

Button

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Thanks guys. :)

I've been happy with the overall concept and it's acceptance. I'll be using the advice here to tighten up the information.

Thanks for the comments!
 
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