What would you do if you lost your word center?

I have a severe memory disorder from a head injury 36 years ago -- it's getting progressively worse. I write slowly, with lots of notes and outlines. I'm working on a paranormal romance. I've given up the idea of changing the world with my prose!

I have momentary lapses where I can't communicate via speech, writing or any other. Sometimes it is catatonic and sometimes it is just shutdown. Sometimes it is distressing, other times I just sit back and just wait for it to return. The latter is the better of the two solutions.

I blogged on that article a couple weeks ago. No idea what I'd do--probably similar to Mr. Lubbock, I'd try to document it as it happened. But I couldn't think of a worse way to exit this world. I'd rather lose almost any other function of my body aside from that.

Such a sad story. Makes you appreciate what you have.

I had one scary moment a year or two back, post-migraine. The phone went, and I picked it up, knowing I was expected to say a word. But I couldn't for the life of me remember what that word was.

I stared at the thing in my hand - phone, yes, that's the word! - and willed my brain to come up with the thing I was supposed to say.

Then my dad said, "Hello? Hello? Are you there?"

"Hello!"

I must have shouted, because he asked if I was all right, and I said, "Hello, that's what I was trying to say."

First time it ever happened, that a migraine (or the shadow thereof) wiped something so simple from my brain, but it's a bloody scary thing for a writer, to lose words like that.

Occasionally I point at things and say to people, "Could you put the...thing...on? Oh, what's it called? Kettle!" or "Would you pass me my...oh, those things you put in a door...what are they called again? Keys!"

I know the feeling will pass and my memories will come back, but I dread to think how I'd cope if such a condition were permanent and terminal.

Maybe I wouldn't.

In the middle of my worst cases of fibro fog I know what it is but the names escape. You'll frequently hear me say "I need to put these things on....these.... the things that go on my feet to walk outside with (shoes)" or "I'm flicking the remote but the.... the box where the shows and programming come on.... the movie box.... the TV!" I know things, but they are very slow in coming.

It also affects me at times when I don't understand questions. Those are the worse. Thankfully the fog doesn't last long and when I know I'm fixing to slide into one I pull out the post it notes and put the word processor on auto save

This indeed a very scary situation, and I can honestly say that I have no idea how I would react. Oliver Sacks has written a lot about how people cope with various unique neurological disabilities. If you are interested, I suggest you check out "The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat." It's quite brilliant.

I've read that, it was a fascinating read.

Actually I was more terrified when I thought that I was in the middle of very early stage Alzheimers. When I was diagnosed with fibro and they described what would happen and all, I realised it was just that. I was VERY relieved instead of more upset

I keep copious notes and outlines and such. When I get hit with a bad fibro day it's hard to remember what to do go to the bathroom.

I make myself write on those days too. It takes longer but it's cathartic and I can get into a zone.

Fibro is a special kind of something for writers isn't it?

My mom recently died of Alzheimer, which is hereditary. Sometimes, my brain just will not function. It drives me nuts. When it happens I stop and wait to see if it will come to me. I also pray it's my meds and not Alzheimer.

I had a few concussions in my younger days and have some memory issues from time to time... unable to find the correct word I want to use... and couldn't tell you why but I always have a hard time remembering people's names, and I can be having a conversation and just for a sentence or two what the other person is saying becomes jibberish in my head and I have no idea what they just said.

To be honest, I don't think I would write anything. I really enjoy writing but, if that were happening to me, writing wouldn't matter anymore. I'd concentrate more on the things that mattered much more to me than writing - relationships.

I know it's all hypothetical and I didn't respond in the spirit in which the question was asked but that's my honest answer.

I'm with Jack on this one. I would probably give up writing.

Given how important language is to me--and I don't mean just natural language--I'm not sure I could cope well. The perpetual frustration would probably drive me into becoming an unpleasant person.

I think that loss of speech, and of understanding of speech, and of understanding of writing, and of coherent writing – these losses will amount to the loss of my mind. I know what this feels like and it has no insides, no internal echo. Mind means talking to oneself. There wouldn't be any secret mind surviving in me.

Click to expand...

What a heartbreaking article.

I'm torn on this one to be honest. Having watched last years documentary with Sir Terry Pratchett, who has Alzheimers, and he's still writing. The programme showed the difficulty he has with even the most basic of tasks now, and I really admire him for his commitment to getting what he has to say out there.

But honestly, much as I love writing, if it were me I would be spending more time on other things, and any writing i did would be of a deeply personal nature - letters etc.

If my time was running out, I would write more fiction. No letters or emails. Fiction is more truthful.

I would write the best damn book of my life-then I'd walk away. Maybe. I'm not sure I could give it up while I can still type.

This thread just gave me an idea for a book. Ironic, huh?

What a horrifying thought. I'm quite sure that I would immediately go into denial and keep plugging away until every last coherent bit of word-smithing was gone.

I think I'd spend all the time I could writing to people, not writing fiction. Though I admit that Isaac Asimov's answer to a somewhat similar question is also appealing. When asked what he would do if he learned he had only six months to live, he replied "I'd type faster."

But I still think I'd spend my time writing to all the people I've known, saying all the things I never said, and writing to people I wish I'd known personally or better.

... always loved those war flicks. Soldier gets shot up. Know they've got about 10 seconds if that to live. Reasonable thing to do would be to lie down and wait it out. But these are soldiers. So they continue carrying out their mission to their last dying breath: chucking a grenade at the enemy encampment or shouting encouragement to the troops, "Come on troops. Give 'em h*ll!" Good lesson here and not just for soldiers. If you ain't got that sort of toughness you'd be better off taking up crochet. Writing isn't a war, but in some ways pretty darned close.

Jamesaritchie said:

But I still think I'd spend my time writing to all the people I've known, saying all the things I never said, and writing to people I wish I'd known personally or better.

Click to expand...

You know that phrase, "If I knew then what I know now..." James, this is that moment for you. You do know it now. If there are relationships you want to cultivate and words you want to express... now is the time, before there is a tragedy. So now the question becomes, what will you do with what you know now? Why put it off until tragedy comes and limits your time?