OMG they're coming??

tiny

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Have you ever extended an invitation that you just knew the recipient would turn down?

Yeah, I did that.


They're coming. I've never cooked for my parents. They never leave their house during the holidays. So, with confidence I asked them on my last visit to come to my house for our Wednesday Thanksgiving (this is how the ex and I have worked out holidays for the kids).

They said no. I was relieved. Then Pops called two days ago. "Just wanted to let you know Mom and I are going to come on Wednesday."

OMG.
 

alleycat

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Make them sit at the little table.
 

quickWit

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I had something for this...
put the car in the garage, turn off the lights & lay on the floor. if they're really old they can only stand on your porch for so long before they've got to either pee or take some form of medication. An hour, tops.
 

Cella

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leave a message on their answering machine saying, "Make sure you come to the new house."
 

Wicked

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They're coming. I've never cooked for my parents.

OMG.

Cheat and have it catered. :D

I always make my husband cook the turkey, not that anyone argues.

After that one little incident where I was in charge, no one wants me to do it again. Sheesh! How was I supposed to know they had the nasty giblets and stuff jammed up inside the turkey in a plastic bag?
Cooked plastic in turkey juice. Ick.
 

alleycat

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Have you ever extended an invitation that you just knew the recipient would turn down?
Yeah, that how I ended up babysitting three kids for a day.

Me: "Well, I would offer to babysit the kids, but, you know, I just don't think I could handle all four of them."

Her: "Hey, guess what! Rob will be at soccer that day, so there will only be three of them. Thanks for offering! I'll bring them over about seven. You're a sweetheart!"

Me: "Uh . . . "
 

kinshipknight

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Yep. I'm feeling your same pain this thanksgiving. I offered to cook, host and they ACCEPTED! Now I'm in a world of hurt and confusion.
 

CaroGirl

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Hosting is easy. Prepare everything that you can ahead of time and make sure you start drinking well before the first guests arrive. Keep the booze flowing freely throughout and even if you fuck it up, no one will care.

ETA: If the drinking thing fails, tell them you meant Canadian Thanksgiving and that you're so sorry they missed it. The turkey was perfect.
 

alleycat

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Hosting is easy. Prepare everything that you can ahead of time . . .
And remember, Hungry Man frozen turkey dinners are available at your favorite supermarket, ready in only six minutes . . . and cleanup is a snap! ;-)
 

MaryMumsy

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And remember, Hungry Man frozen turkey dinners are available at your favorite supermarket, ready in only six minutes . . . and cleanup is a snap! ;-)

The Marie Callendar ones are better. And I'm sure it would have been cheaper to do that instead of what I am doing.

MM
 

CaroGirl

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And remember, Hungry Man frozen turkey dinners are available at your favorite supermarket, ready in only six minutes . . . and cleanup is a snap! ;-)
Meals on Wheels also makes a mean turkey dinner. But stealing food from poor old people is almost a guarantee you'll spend eternity roasting in the fires of Hell. Depending on how much you dread hosting your parents, though, it might be worth the trade-off.
 

Wicked

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I offer two strategies.

Should the guests live nearby, and would only be staying for the day- Sabotage the food. Burn it. Dehydrate it. Have the little girl next door prepare it in her easybake oven. Get experimental. Octopus tenticle souffle? Go for it. Just make sure it's bad, and the courses get progressivly worse.
This should ensure the guests find an excuse to leave the party early. :D

Now, if they are long distance, and will be spending the night, go the opposite route. Make the food divine. Make it delicious,make it decadent, make it too good to put down, and make too much of it. This should ensure they eat too much and end up snoring on the living room couch for the remainder of the day.
Spike it with NyQuil if you have one of those bird eaters that refuse to over indulge. :evil
 

firedrake

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I still cannot believe they're leaving the house. Now I have to make a real shopping list instead of the one that starts with beer and cigarettes. And of course, I promised the hub a cheesecake instead of a pumpkin pie. Crap. CRRRRRRRAP.

simples.
Pumpkin cheesecake. :D
 

tiny

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Well, the turkey is in the oven - we're doing the big dinner today since we have a blended family and I don't want my kids to have to choose who to miss. The house is clean - though I can't seem to keep the cats out of the bathtub in the guest loo.

I think now I need a cup of coffee.

Tomorrow begins 10 days of an empty house, only Chris and I. I cannot wait.
 

rhymegirl

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Well, the turkey is in the oven - we're doing the big dinner today since we have a blended family and I don't want my kids to have to choose who to miss. The house is clean - though I can't seem to keep the cats out of the bathtub in the guest loo.

I think now I need a cup of coffee.

Tomorrow begins 10 days of an empty house, only Chris and I. I cannot wait.

Coffee sounds like a great idea. I am cleaning my house today. That should take oh...the whole day.
 

Caitlin Black

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Now I have to make a real shopping list instead of the one that starts with beer and cigarettes.

LOL. Sounds like my shopping list.

Good luck with the meal. I've never cooked for more than 4 people... although I did figure out that I could cook a meal for 8 people in my kitchen, if I was clever. Just never had cause to try it.