The Loner Thread

Hey cmi,

Nothing wrong with being a loner. Right up until the weekend. Then, you get this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PODMzqaWBow

Yeah, I'll be crying myself to sleep with this one too.

Regards

Whacko

Here's my "All Alone" music. WARNING: Do not listen to this if you are on the verge of suicide.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iaeh0JJeqJw

The wierd thing about myself is that while I am a VERY social person, I find that I isolate myself. I'm the kind of person who somehow turns himself into the center of any group of people I'm in, but yet I'm lazy. A lot of times I'd rather just be alone to work on my art then make the effort to go out and do things.

cmi0616 said:

As another Friday without plans passes, I think about what a loner I am. It's not that I can't make any friends, but rather that I don't like most people. I find that too many of them are these dimwitted bullshit artists, and more often then i don't enjoy their company. I'd rather be alone, reading, writing, or listening to music.

While I do date women pretty often, I don't have too many people who I'm just "friends" with. I've never really grasped the concept of "male bonding" and I have only one person who I truly consider a friend, and even that friendship is called into question more often then it probably should.

Maybe I'm fucking crazy, I don't really know. But I get the feeling that I'm not the only person in the world who feels like this.

Any other loners here?

Click to expand...

Well, I'd say you're well on your way to making new friends here!

I only have 2 girlfriends and I only see them maybe once a month, sometimes not even that often. My husband works long hours Monday thru Friday. I work from home so I have no co-workers.

So, yeah, I'm a loner quite a bit. Fortunately, I can turn to writing, drawing and music. I think that's how I first got started writing, being alone so much.

Reading is also a great past-time.

I get on pretty well with my colleagues and we do sometimes meet outside of work, but besides that I don't have any real 'friends' as such. Doesn't bother me particularly as I've always been quite happy with my own company and I enjoy just getting some work done on my research / writing etc. I have a couple of family members that I talk to regularly, that's it. No boyfriend / husband and I doubt if there ever will be, not without some drastic plastic surgery!

So yeah, go loners!

Well, he'd have to be fine with having a pathologically untidy girlfriend... one of the other advantages to being a loner. My cat doesn't care if I don't dust for a few days...

I'm a hermit. Always have been, always will be. I don't like many people at all and find that I grate on others nerves as well so it works out fine.

OMG and then friend number 6 said, "They're not real ya know!" and we all laughed and and...

And I'm talking about the TV show "Friends" of course, for I am super loner.

I'm actually quite nice to people I do meet, but I don't go out of my way to spend time with other people.

For instance, this coming Thursday I have a graduation to go to, and then a birthday dinner with family. I organised getting my family to go to my graduation, and I suggested the dinner afterwards.

Sounds sociable, right?

Well, this was literally the first time I ever made plans and had people agree to my terms.

I used to have friends, but whenever I tried to make plans half of them would groan or simply not show up. Now that I don't see these people anymore, I'm much happier.





And I have a moral objection to socialising with all you loners. It ruins my cool aloof image to be seen actually talking to people.

Hmm. I better make a joke quickly...

What's the funniest thing about the Saw movies?
Trying to get to sleep afterwards while keeping your blood in your veins.

Yeah.

JessRamage said:

Well, he'd have to be fine with having a pathologically untidy girlfriend... one of the other advantages to being a loner. My cat doesn't care if I don't dust for a few days...

Click to expand...

Dust every few days?? I clean my bathtub once a semester.

Yup. Loner. At home by myself every night for the last 2 years. Even when I was married and there was another body around regularly, I felt like I was alone a lot still.

It used to bother me, but then I realized that the energy it took to go out and socialize was greater than the benefit I got from hanging out with people that I had very little in common with.

Maybe it's just me but a lot of other people seem to be lacking in something... When I do try to socialize I feel like I'm talking with paper cutouts most of the time.

This thread warms my heart



Here I have been trying to make friends, because I feel bad for being such a loner, and then I find a whole bunch of other loners who are perfectly happy just as they are. Aww, that's awesome!

Wanna be friends anyways?
/Dea

As a writer,
I've found that I need a lot of people in my life.
Not as friends mind you, but so that I can watch them,
very, very carefully,
and take tons of notes...

Although I do love satire,
consider this as a choice for the thread's theme song;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-kHB2fWUS8

Dramatic irony in action. Very meta.

Years ago, before I knew why or how, being easy both with and without others was kind of my natural state. It was unfraught. Then more life happened, I lost that easiness, and eventually figured out that writing-as-process was necessary.



Oh dear. This isn't going to get all co-dependent, is it?

I don't need people.

That sounds weird. But it's the truth. I'm perfectly content with my own company. If I was in a position where I went a week without saying a word to anyone, it wouldn't faze me in the least.

I talk to people at my new job, but afterwards, I come home, watch tv, eat dinner, go to bed...rinse and repeat. At the weekends, I do my grocery shopping, then come home. Minimal human contact. Doesn't bother me in the least.

Of course, it's a quite reasonable assumption that there's something personally repugnant/offensive about me that keeps people from wanting to have any contact with me

You might find this article interesting. I've always been more of a loner, but a bit of a smartass when attempting to be social. (har, har) I got a copy of this issue recently. It made me feel a little less "odd" with all the extroverts out there...

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201008/revenge-the-introvert

*pushes up to the bar, snorts back a pint* What are y'all looking at?
Just playin'...I surround myself with a community of people who share my interests, even if I have to travel around to meet the different interest groups. I got my writer friends, my musician friends, my music nerd friends, my social reform friends, et cetera, and they all keep me sane and happy. (I love living near a big city!) Let's not forget you guys here. Dawwww....
When I get home, however, I like having my own space and my own very private world. I guess I have to eventually give in to companionship instincts the getting laid part of my life? Even if it ever existed, it would be so over but I will miss my private world.

I have never been a social person. What people who rag on the internet for being detrimental to social activity miss is that without it I (and many other natural loners) would choose not to interact with basically anyone, so, really, the net has made me a million times more connected with others.

I also am not sure I would write if I were not a loner. It's a lonely job, and if I were more social, it would likely drive me nuts.