View Full Version : Beta needed for YA thriller --happy to swap

11-19-2010, 10:51 PM

I'm looking for someone to read the beginning chapters (and more, if they want) of my 72,000-word long YA thriller set in the 1100s in Sweden, end of the Viking era.

I'm looking for the big picture, not a careful line-by-line edit, and I'm happy to swap and read your story. Because my book is intended for a female audience -- the kind who enjoyed "The Hunger Games" -- I prefer female betas as I need to know if it appeals to females. This is especially important since my protagonist is male.

See my pitch below and send me a pm if you want to swap:

Even though 16-year-old Leif Blackhair must marry younger than customary to help his father and family through tough times, he couldn’t be happier. He’s madly in love with Thora, the girl who becomes his wife.

This abruptly changes when he finds himself accused of having raped and strangled Hilda, daughter of the powerful Jarlabanke clan, during a birthday feast. So drunk at the time he can’t remember what transpired, Leif eventually accepts guilt. After all, he’s lost his temper before while drunk; right after his mother died he started brawls at the smallest provocation. And he was found passed out on the victim, his hands still around her neck.

Only when the People’s Assembly sentences him to exile instead of death and his family to give up their farm does Leif realize he was set up -- by his supposed friend Ragnar Jarlabanke, the victim's half brother, who's obsessed with Thora. Leif’s only chance to redeem himself and his family is to prove what really happened the night of his alleged crime. But without evidence or witnesses combined with the Jarlabankes’ influence over the community, this seems impossible. And before he can even begin to think of a way he must get to a neighboring country where no one knows him by crossing a vast forest full of wild animals and criminals eager to kill him—without a single weapon to defend himself.

11-20-2010, 12:45 AM
I'll read the beginning.

11-20-2010, 01:03 AM
Sounds interesting.
I'd enjoy swapping.
My second manuscript is set in Stockholm 20 years after a nuclear war.
I'm curious about Sweden in the 1100's.
My three main protagonists are 16 year old girls, but the story is for adults.
Would you be interested?

11-21-2010, 08:26 AM
Sounds very intriguing. I'd love to swap first chapters and see if we're compatable writing buddies.

My YA novel is a fantasy of 75,000 words. Interested in swapping?

11-21-2010, 09:00 PM
Jaylia, sent you a pm. Also critiqued your query in QLH.