1st grade girl is being bullied because she likes Star Wars

Um, fair warning folks!

If you don't have a Google account or a blogger.com account (whatever that is) you can not leave a comment for the little girl in this linked article.

-K

Huh. That counts me out.

I wasn't going to leave a comment there anyway. I read the blog entry and article, and though I feel a little sorry for that girl's plight, I think folks are making too big a deal out of her situation, especially the girl's mom. So a few first grade boys made fun of her water bottle? What are they, about six or seven years old?

I don't get it, sorry. All that girl needs is a little dressing for her bruised feelings and a few words of encouragement, not an all out cyber campaign reaching out to a bunch of strangers for support.

Really? Um okay..... we all dealt with something like that in our lives. She'll get over it.


~Snow

This isn't an issue about a Star Wars water bottle. This is an issue about bullying. This is about bullying starting way younger than most people know. It is about a little girl who is already different: wearing glasses when none of the other kids do, being adopted, already set apart by things she has no control over. It is about her self confidence being destroyed by the attack of her peers due to her differences. This is about letting a child know that differences do not make them bad and do not justify abuse, verbal or otherwise. And finding a means to rebuild that child's confidence and acceptance of her unique qualities.

I applaud this mother's actions in supporting her child and letting her know that there is nothing wrong with her just because she has differences. And I applaud the woman who picked up on this story and got additional support for the mother and her child.

Perhaps there will be one less teenage suicide in the years to come.

Ambrosia said:

This isn't an issue about a Star Wars water bottle. This is an issue about bullying...

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No, it's not. To me, anyway.

She's not being "bullied" at all. Some boys commented that her water bottle isn't meant for girls. Maybe they even teased her. I'm not justifying their beliefs or behavior, but do you seriously think that constitutes an internet campaign by the mother on behalf of her daughter?

I'd hate to be that mom, because when the shit really hits the fan for her daughter in terms of being bullied in school, her audience will have lost interest because she cried 'Wolf!" one too many times.

Being "teased every day" for not conforming to gender standards is bullying. And she didn't start an internet campaign, she just asked for some words of encouragement for the kid to bolster her confidence.

I have failed to properly conform to gender standards of female dress/appearance/behavior since the age of three, and at every age I got a hard time for it. And it sucked. And yeah, Star Wars water bottle is a dumb thing to pick on, but it doesn't mean it's not hurtful.

I left a comment. Star Wars isn't a girl thing or a boy thing--or at least it shouldn't be. And I agree with what Kitty said about gender standards.

I must be out of touch these days. When my kids (four of them) had problems, we never turned to the Internet for help with pleas such as that girl's mom:

She just asked for other female Star Wars fans to comment. I feel it's just asking readers to share it's OK to like boy things and it is OK to be different.

I think that's a little different than rallying behind someone for bullying. She didn't want to confront the kids. She knows the kids. She just wanted to show the girl she doesn't have to be ashamed to be who she is. It's a clever idea, if it works.

I was a little girl who was skinny, non-athletic and with glasses. I had to learn to appreciate that I was different. By golly, if I had a mom who supported me for being different, it would have made a huge difference.

ButtonTheCat said:

It's a clever idea, if it works.

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I gotta admit. Even taking the question of bullying out f the equation, I kinda love the idea of hundreds of female fans all saying they love Star Wars. It's like a very geeky version of Nike's "If you let me play..." ad.

It also strikes me as a very fandom thing to do.

Kathleen42 said:

I gotta admit. Even taking the question of bullying out f the equation, I kinda love the idea of hundreds of female fans all saying they love Star Wars. It's like a very geeky version of Nike's "If you let me play..." ad.

It also strikes me as a very fandom thing to do.

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That's exactly it. It's not an internet campaign, it's not about crying wolf or getting those boys in trouble or whatever.

It's about people telling a kid that she's allowed to like whatever she wants to like. And the fact that people here think this is bad astounds me. You're WRITERS. You should want kids to be true to themselves -- unless you really think every little girl should be told she can only read The Clique and Twilight even if she wants to read Ender's Game. Because that's what this is about -- these kids are teaching her what she is ALLOWED to like because of her genitalia.

Silver King said:

It's pathetic, and I'd be forever embarrassed for seeking such help.

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Silver King, I'm sorry that you can't see this not as "pathetic" but as beautiful -- technology allowing people to tell this girl that different isn't bad, that entertainment isn't gendered. She's happier now, and maybe she'll be truer to herself. And maybe this "pathetic" blog post will help her stand tall in her interests in middle school and high school. And I'm happy about that.

SK, I respectfully disagree with you about this not being about being bullied. I also see no reason to be ashamed for asking for support, regardless the source. But, I think others here have spoken to the matter more elegantly than I would, so I am going to leave it at that.

Silver King said:

I must be out of touch these days. When my kids (four of them) had problems, we never turned to the Internet for help with pleas such as that girl's mom (...) It's pathetic, and I'd be forever embarrassed for seeking such help.

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Yeah, there's a very pathetic place in this same forum, too. What a bunch of losers, right? Shame on them.



Ooh, a sarcasm detector. What a useful invention- *boom*

Kaiser-Kun said:

Yeah, there's a very pathetic place in this same forum, too. What a bunch of losers, right? Shame on them.

Ooh, a sarcasm detector. What a useful invention- *boom*

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Though not as useful as a Frog Exaggerator.

I was actually in the "being made into a bigger deal than it needs to be" camp, but then SK took it so overboard I'm almost uncomfortable in making such a statement. Almost.

This would prob get more responses in PC&E.

brainstorm77 said:

This would prob get more responses in PC&E.

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I thought of moving it there yesterday, but then realized I'd make even more people angry about how I feel regarding this situation.

I don't see it as bullying. Others do. That's cool. We're allowed to disagree here and still remain on friendly terms.

Jcomp said:

...I was actually in the "being made into a bigger deal than it needs to be" camp, but then SK took it so overboard I'm almost uncomfortable in making such a statement. Almost.

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Yeah, sometimes I'm too blunt for my own good. But this whole anti-bullying awareness is starting to get on my nerves. What started out as a useful means to bring awareness to a serious problem has morphed into including just about anything negative kids say to one another. And in this instance, I don't believe the girl's minuscule issue warrants talking about, let alone drumming support for her.

I was bullied as a child, and I know the difference between teasing and truly awful behavior and everything in between. I shared an experience here recently, which is only one of many such episodes I endured while growing up.

Anyway, from my experiences and those of others I know, little Katie's problem doesn't register even the slightest blip on my bully radar, regardless of how it's phrased or presented.

SK, what you went through goes beyond bullying. That was assault, plain and simple. I can understand why you have difficulty seeing what this little girl went through as bullying after reading your post in the other thread. The little girl was going through mental and emotional bullying, not physical. It does not mean that it is less damaging.

I am sorry you went through that crap. No child should ever suffer like that.

Silver King said:

It's pathetic, and I'd be forever embarrassed for seeking such help.

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As would I.

It's perhaps my lack of online visibility, but I don't think so.

I'm with SK on this one.

People are going laugh at the clothes she wears at 14, the car she drives at 17 and the person she dates at 20; point being there will always be someone there to make you feel bad if you let them. I'm afraid that this mom may have made the situation worse by making such a big deal about it.

Ambrosia said:

...The little girl was going through mental and emotional bullying, not physical. It does not mean that it is less damaging.

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I understand there are different degrees of bullying, including the physical, mental and emotional kinds. I didn't offer that link earlier as a standard of bullying but simply as an acute example of something I experienced as a child.

In a sense, it helped shape the person I would become, as I developed a very low tolerance for kids and adults who pick on others. I've intervened on behalf of people over the years, sometimes at great peril to myself, to protect them from bullies. But I wouldn't do it for Katie, not here or anywhere else because she hasn't been bullied, in my view. She's been teased some, and it may lead to bullying, but I just don't see it at this point.

And her mom, again in my view, appears to be seeking far more interest and attention for her daughter than this situation warrants.

While I don't consider it bullying, I don't think that asking for people who like Star Wars to cheer her is a bad thing to do. Isn't it a basic way of encouragement to show the kids at an early age that it's okay to like whatever you want by a cool person?

The people who criticize the mother make it appear as if she's putting her daughter to psychological emergency treatment, when she's just asking for kind words.

Silver King said:

IBut this whole anti-bullying awareness is starting to get on my nerves. What started out as a useful means to bring awareness to a serious problem has morphed into including just about anything negative kids say to one another.

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I'm inclined to agree with this. Bullying had a totally different meaning when I was a kid. You got the crap beat out of you for a nickel. You were physically harassed and emotionally tormented. You'd sneak around school to avoid that person or persons. Or you'd pretend you were sick so you wouldn't have to face them. In fact, you didn't need to pretend because the fear made you physically ill.

Now it seems any small incident that hurts someone's feelings is considered bullying. And telling a girl that Star Wars isn't a girl thing in first grade isn't bullying, it's just first graders talking out of their asses.