Thanks for the help guys, ive deleted my current work to submit it to SYW. Also if anyone needs a beta reader I'd happily volunteer! Just send me a private message or email me at [email protected]
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NEW TO AW - Desperately seeking Beta reader
- Thread starter Myjewel
- Start date
- Status
- Joined
- Oct 10, 2009
- Messages
- 490
- Reaction score
- 17
- Location
- Canada
- Website
- www.arielemerald.blogspot.com
I agree, post in SYW. You need to reformat first though. You need to seperate out the dialogue. Everytime a different person speaks,start a new line. I did the first paragragh to get you started. Plus a few pointers.
“Mother, why is everyone making a big deal about it?” Who is speaking?
“About what honey?” Same here.
Elliot buried his face in his mother's bed. “You know exactly what. Do they really deserve this kind of attention?” He mumbled.
Elliot's mother gave herself one final examination in the mirror. “Alright I’m ready! How do I look?” She spun around for her son only to be greeted with a dull face.
“You never answered my question” he muttered.
“Well, you never answered mine; now be a good boy and give your mother a compliment!” She frowned.
“Ugh, this night makes my stomach turn” he replied.
Martha giggled. “Oh Elliot, don't be so serious all the time, you wont be a kid forever you know.”
Elliot twitched at his mothers words. “I'm not a kid anymore...” he said coldly.
Martha looked at her son through the mirror and forced a grin. It's not something she wanted to admit.
Be prepared to be told to get rid of the dialogue tags. Good luck.
“Mother, why is everyone making a big deal about it?” Who is speaking?
“About what honey?” Same here.
Elliot buried his face in his mother's bed. “You know exactly what. Do they really deserve this kind of attention?” He mumbled.
Elliot's mother gave herself one final examination in the mirror. “Alright I’m ready! How do I look?” She spun around for her son only to be greeted with a dull face.
“You never answered my question” he muttered.
“Well, you never answered mine; now be a good boy and give your mother a compliment!” She frowned.
“Ugh, this night makes my stomach turn” he replied.
Martha giggled. “Oh Elliot, don't be so serious all the time, you wont be a kid forever you know.”
Elliot twitched at his mothers words. “I'm not a kid anymore...” he said coldly.
Martha looked at her son through the mirror and forced a grin. It's not something she wanted to admit.
Be prepared to be told to get rid of the dialogue tags. Good luck.
It means 'share your work'. It's a sub forum that's not accessible for search engines, you have more privacy for posting your work. And that's where the people who are willing to critique look shorter excerpts look first.
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