Advice That Shouldn't Be Taken

if i hear 'my eyes are up here!' one more time.....



gah!

My father went in to see the doctor for a migraine, who told him "Ok, so let's see if this is something we can put medicine on, or if we just need to amputate."

No means no.















kidding!

Sit down and shut up.

Keep your hands to yourself.

dclary said:

My father went in to see the doctor for a migraine, who told him "Ok, so let's see if this is something we can put medicine on, or if we just need to amputate."

Click to expand...

When my friend and I were about 18, he got bitten by a dog. He told the doctor, 'I don't think I need stitches.' The doctor said, 'Oh, don't worry, we don't do stitches. We amputate.' Was it the same doctor? lol

How about when you tell the doctor, 'it hurts when I do this', and the doctor says, 'Well, don't do that.' =)

Don't do that you'll poke you're eye out!

You'll go blind.

*buys t-shirt with eyeballs on the front, imagines everyone naked, smiles*

What's the name of this thread again?

If you go you'll wish you hadn't. If you stay home, you'll wish you'd gone.

This is actual advice. I heard it many times.

'If you're ever by the river, drop in.' Of course, I guess that's more of an invitation than advice, lol.

... forks on the left, spoons on the right. Can never remember which. So the advice is bad because I always feel foolish no matter which way I lay them out, thinking I did it wrong. Not that it really matters, but still ....

"You gotta be smarter than the table"

Example: Me, as a kid, rushing thru the living room. I bump into the table, turn around, kick it and curse at it. Then my dad would say "well son, you gotta be smarter than the table"

Thanks dad, real confidence-builder there.

"Don't sell those Doomed.com stocks yet. It's just a little dip. Hold out for a couple of year and you'll triple your money. "

Advice from my now unemployed investment advisor in 2001. Jackass.

(Company name changed to to protect the innocent and salvage what's left of my dignity.)

Gugland said:

"You gotta be smarter than the table"

Example: Me, as a kid, rushing thru the living room. I bump into the table, turn around, kick it and curse at it. Then my dad would say "well son, you gotta be smarter than the table"

Thanks dad, real confidence-builder there.

Click to expand...

ha ha ha!!!

"Let's take a shortcut."

Words I regularly said to my friends in my youth. Usually right before leading us straight into trouble.

GW to DC, "Is waterboarding really legal?"

"Yes junior, because you are going to sign an executive order making it legal."

"I can do that?"

"Can't you add some war scenes or something?"

--Advice from a new writer/critiquer for my literary short story about mother/daughter relationships.

"Taste it, you'll like it!"

"It's an acquired taste."

If I don't like it, why would I want to eat or drink enough of it to acquire a taste for it?

ETA: I hear this a lot because I can't stand beer. Beer, people. Get your heads out of the gutter.

Ooohh.. that's another one. "Get your head out of the gutter."

"Better safe than sorry."

And I typically ended up safe and sorry...

Ill advice for a multiple choice test:
"When in doubt, circle in C."

Took me four years of high school and one year in College to figure out that this one didn't work exactly 99.9% of the time.