Ahhhhh, agents

whoiswaltlong

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Under the heading of "I'm sure I'll regret this":
Although I've had limited dealings with literary agents, I can say without hesitation that they are - as a group - the most arrogant people on the planet. Their unwillingness to accept work that isn't formatted precisely according to their "submission guidelines" is only slightly more irritating than the fact that every agent has his or her own very specific rules. Even more annoying than that is the addendum included in many manifestos giving notice that any reply may not be forthcoming…they're simply too busy. And they are clearly unbending…their steadfast demand that all prospects study and adhere to their guidelines is more suggestive of a great benefactor than a money-grubbing intermediary. Of course, agents in general have destroyed every business they've meddled in, (see: Boras, Scott), and hasten the decline of a society that no longer produces anything; but views counselors, advisors, and agents as the most respected and rewarding professions. I won't argue that in the end a good agent earns his commission - but is it really too much to ask that when rejecting a work, he or she take 5 minutes to email the poor, hopeful wretch with the briefest of criticisms?
 

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but is it really too much to ask that when rejecting a work, he or she take 5 minutes to email the poor, hopeful wretch with the briefest of criticisms?
5 minutes times 100 queries a day is 8 and 1/3 hours. So, yeah, that's probably too much to ask.

Although, I know I've always appreciated being able to draw a line through a query as completed, one way or another, so I'm not a big fan of no response unless they're interested.

In other news, unless you're giving up on the industry or you're really, really sure this screen name can't be traced back to you, I'd ask a moderator to delete the thread. They do Google, those lousy agents.
 

whoiswaltlong

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No big deal...I don't like lawyers, car salesmen, or doctors either; but I have to deal with them on occasion. And I have no doubt whatsoever that an oily agent will handle my work if he/she thinks it will make money.
 

whoiswaltlong

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And every agent (last count, somewhere around 1200) receives over 36,000 queries a year? No wonder it's so hard to get published.
 

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Imagine shopping for a shirt. You find a few you like. Now look at every shirt in the store you didn't buy and spend 5 minutes coming up with a reason why you didn't buy it. Yeah, it's too much to ask, especially when agents are obligated to work for their current clients first and foremost.

I second Perks's suggestion of asking a mod to delete this thread. Agents do show up on AW.
 
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whoiswaltlong

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You guys kill me...are you really afraid that some agent's going to catch you reading a stupid post on some obscure blog that's defamatory toward their esteemed profession?
 

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And every agent (last count, somewhere around 1200) receives over 36,000 queries a year? No wonder it's so hard to get published.
Not all, but some, and maybe only on the craziest days. Even so, they certainly couldn't possibly manage to give commentary on every query they receive.
 

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You guys kill me...are you really afraid that some agent's going to catch you reading a stupid post on some obscure blog that's defamatory toward their esteemed profession?
Not afraid really. I have an agent. But yeah, they do read, here and there.

I understand your frustration. I swear to god I do. And if you're just having a bit of a bitch, that's fine. But you're not really representing the process fairly.
 

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Why don't you tell us what's happened? Post your query letter in the Query Letter Hell section and let some people who've been on this merry-go-round for a while give some advice. There's been some amazing successes here at AW, sometimes starting at just as frustrated as you are now.

It's a tough business to be sure, but there are ways to stand out in the crowd. Take a mulligan and welcome to AW.
 

whoiswaltlong

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Of course they could reply to every query...some, in fact, do. I'm not suggesting they write an in-depth critique, but a simple acknowledgement that they received it but aren't considering it.
 

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Of course they could reply to every query...some, in fact, do. I'm not suggesting they write an in-depth critique, but a simple acknowledgement that they received it but aren't considering it.

Oh, in this case, I think a form email is nicest, sure. I definitely prefer that. But what are you gonna do?

You'd said up top that they should offer everyone a brief criticism and take 5 minutes. That's a lot of 5 minutes and trying to articulate why you don't feel like reading something.
 

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Deep breath. Getting published isn't easy, or it wouldn't be worth all the work. You need several layers of rhino hide and some fellow writers to commiserate with.

You've got the latter right here, now that you've joined AW. Post your query in Query Hell and we'll try to help.
 

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Agents are looking for manuscripts to represent, not to offer critique on every query they get. If you want criticism, join a crit group and find a beta partner. Don't expect agents to provide feedback for you, for free, when that feedback should have come much, much earlier in the process.
 

Susan Coffin

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Under the heading of "I'm sure I'll regret this":
Although I've had limited dealings with literary agents, I can say without hesitation that they are - as a group - the most arrogant people on the planet. Their unwillingness to accept work that isn't formatted precisely according to their "submission guidelines" is only slightly more irritating than the fact that every agent has his or her own very specific rules. Even more annoying than that is the addendum included in many manifestos giving notice that any reply may not be forthcoming…they're simply too busy. And they are clearly unbending…their steadfast demand that all prospects study and adhere to their guidelines is more suggestive of a great benefactor than a money-grubbing intermediary. Of course, agents in general have destroyed every business they've meddled in, (see: Boras, Scott), and hasten the decline of a society that no longer produces anything; but views counselors, advisors, and agents as the most respected and rewarding professions. I won't argue that in the end a good agent earns his commission - but is it really too much to ask that when rejecting a work, he or she take 5 minutes to email the poor, hopeful wretch with the briefest of criticisms?

Did you know there are agents who frequent this forum, as well as repsond to threads? Do you know agents talk to one another?

So, if you've had limited dealings with agents, what makes you say they come off as the most arrogant on the planet? I mean, come on. Is this because you don't want to follow their guidelines?

Think of it this way: their guidelines help to weed our writers who think agents are arrogant, and writers who think they should be able to just submit however they want to submit. Agent guidelines are in place for a reason. If an agent wants me to send a query letter on blue paper addressed to Mr. Donald Duck, you bet your bottom dollar I'm going to do it. I know that's an exaaggeration, but in all the guidelines I've read, I would say they are pretty similar, except some want a query letter with more or less information, or three chapters and a synopsis, or somewhere in between. It's just a matter of complying with the guidelnes.

Finally, agents are really busy people. Most don't have time to email detailed ciritques, nor do they have time to personally respond to every query that comes through except with a form rejection.

Just so you know, I'm not an agent, but a writer who has been dealing with agents for awhile, has met several via writer's functions, and who is in the query process right now. My experience has been good.
 

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The thing is, I remember wishing that there was a more standard querying format - a query letter, some contact info and, say, ten pages.

But now I know that as much as writers vary in their styles, agents have different ways of deciding what projects to take on. Some agents don't have time to develop an author who can't distill a query letter. Some find that the letter is not as important as what's on the first few pages, or even the first few lines. Some feel more comfortable with people who have done their research and not pitched something they don't represent.

It's hard, especially starting out, to see it from their perspective.
 

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I understand both sides of this discussion. However, in defense of the original poster, I do believe this is a writers forum website where writers can come get advice and support.
How is that agents can post on their blogs rather terse complaints about writers mistakes, but we as writers are “hushed up” when we vent our frustrations on a writers website?
Whoiswaltlong didn’t name names. Unfortunately, we’ve become so politically correct and cautious in our posts that true support is inhibited. Now, I am in no way saying we should name names and blast individual agents personally here. But writing about our experience and getting support through this brutal process, without fear, would be nice.
 

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I understand both sides of this discussion. However, in defense of the original poster, I do believe this is a writers forum website where writers can come get advice and support.
How is that agents can post on their blogs rather terse complaints about writers mistakes, but we as writers are “hushed up” when we vent our frustrations on a writers website?
Whoiswaltlong didn’t name names. Unfortunately, we’ve become so politically correct and cautious in our posts that true support is inhibited. Now, I am in no way saying we should name names and blast individual agents personally here. But writing about our experience and getting support through this brutal process, without fear, would be nice.

I agree that you should be able to commisserate with other writers; don't you think there's a difference between getting support and saying "agents are the most arrogant people on the planet", though?

In addition, there's a whole forum on AW dedicated to venting... Ask the Agent ain't it.
 
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rugcat

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When I was looking for an agent, I found some of them to be brusque, some of them pleasant, some couldn't be bothered, some went way out of their way to encourage me. You know, just like people.

My current agent is a lovely and totally professional person. Most agented writers I know feel the same way about their own agents. Those who don't usually find a different agent,
 

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I'm not saying I support the whole "agent's are the most arrogant people in the world" opinion. Is the opinion harsh? Probably. Is it true? For some but not all. That's just my opinion. Obviously, others will disagree. I'm just an advocate for being able to say it without fear. Doesn't mean whatever the person wrote is true or correct.
I think all the advice given by others is valid and on point. I'm just looking at the other side by asking the question: why is it fair for agents to complain and not writers?
 

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But writing about our experience and getting support through this brutal process, without fear, would be nice.
I have to agree here. It would be nice. It would also be nice if I had my back tickled until I fell asleep every night, but I can't seem to get anywhere on that score either.

Look, it's a scary process. At the very least, we're opening ourselves up for the shredding of our hard work. Soul-searching, world-building, eye-straining, neck-cricking, teeth-grinding, dictionary-bending, keyboard-smashing, smiling-past-the-bile-in-your-throat, and that'll just get you through your first beta-readers.

Beyond that, modern publishing is built on a long tradition of hurdles of all sorts. Literary gatekeepers and transom-jumpers and inner-circles and critics so scary they give your dog nightmares are just the ones you expect.

Do your best to follow the agents' requests. After a few dozen queries, it gets easier. I mean, not the rejection part. That sucks right through the 73rd one. Don't ask me how I know that.
 

mscelina

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If the OP wants support b/c agents aren't responding to sent queries, that's all fine and good.

But calling them 'oily?' That's not looking for support. Whining because they are offering critique? That's not looking for support. Calling them, and I quote--"the most arrogant people on the planet?" Yeah, you guessed it--not looking for support.

There's a huge difference between looking for support and wanting to bitch. The comments about agents reading this forum? That was in the nature of friendly advice, as in "Are you sure you want to call all agents oily, arrogant money-grubbing intermediaries and then really wonder why they don't bother to offer any free advice to you?"

Just my opinion, of course. *shrug*