I am shallow and mean-spirited

heyjude

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though not usually. Usually I'm quite nice, a very mild person.

But in this case...

A very, very long time ago a boy in school told me I was ugly. I wasn't, really, but I hadn't grown into myself yet, if you know what I mean. I brushed the comment off and tried not to think about it. Well, it's (quick count...) twenty years later (ish) and I still remember it, so obviously it didn't just slide off.

A few years after high school I happened to see this guy at a club. By then I had prettied up a bit. He followed me around like a puppy and I ignored him. Excellent.

Just saw my high school reunion photos and the guy? He is overweight and not at all the handsome, slick, in-crowd person he once was. This made me happy. Just for a second. Then I felt bad for feeling happy.

Please tell me I am not the only petty person here.
 

Uncarved

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Living well is the best revenge :)
 

alleycat

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I think we all have some things we regret saying or doing, especially when we were in school. I tend to remember those more than stuff done to me.

It's okay to be a petty about some long-ago insult; you just don't want it to be such an issue that you're a guest on one of those revenge episodes on daytime TV. ;-)
 

Button

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It's great that you feel good about yourself. A little glee in knowing you turned out well is nice.

You did feel a little guilty. A truely petty person wouldn't feel that way. You don't wish him ill, it's all good. :) Not that we could judge you and your feelings. :)
 

Rebekkamaria

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Yeah, the best revenge is to live a good life. :) I think this is something you can allow to yourself.
 

Velma deSelby Bowen

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Definitely something you can indulge in for a bit, and then let go, in my opinion. Been there, done that.
 

Shakesbear

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What goes around comes around - and ugly came around to him. You should not feel guilty - rather you should feel that you experienced a perfectly normal reaction.
 

backslashbaby

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The irony is always amusing, eh? ;)

Nah, if you didn't wish him any ill and were only fleetingly shallow, that's no problem at all, imho :)

I just saw a pic of my first flame the other day, btw, and he got so hot! I complimented myself on my good taste, of course :D
 

KTC

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every single person in my high school was a dirt bag. i hate them all and wouldn't even care to see what they look like now. they can all rot in hell--fat, pretty, skinny, ugly...every mother f*cking last one of them.

i'm a nice person.
 

Sheila Muirenn

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every single person in my high school was a dirt bag. i hate them all and wouldn't even care to see what they look like now. they can all rot in hell--fat, pretty, skinny, ugly...every mother f*cking last one of them.

i'm a nice person.

I wish we'd had classes together, because I never knew we went to the same school!
 

KTC

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When did you go to my high school?

haha. No, no. You, I like.


I was spit on every day. Kicked every day. Punched every day. Disallowed to enter the cafeteria (it was too distracting for the other students). I was thrown in front of a moving car on the street outside the school. I was pissed on once...that was a highlight. I was picked on every day. When you're in a good mood, that isn't so bad. When you're absolutely down...people calling you the names they called me was the straw that broke the camel's back...but mostly, the camel was usually bludgeoned to death on the ground and they smeared my face in its blood. I had a jolly good high school time!
 

Kate Thornton

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KTC - it's all behind you now. Please don't let the horrors of the past hurt you now. You are too valuable for that. Grind it all in your writer's mill.

And heyjude - you sound pretty normal to me - not petty at all, as your concern shows.
 

jvc

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And heyjude - you sound pretty normal to me - not petty at all, as your concern shows.
Yeah, Jude, you aren't pretty at all. Oh, hang on, must be getting tired eyes, I read that wrong. Not petty at all. My bad.

And Jude, I've seen your pic. All I can say is Hey Jude :e2brows:
 

heyjude

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:ROFL:

You are all very, very kind. And we're getting Jed to the eye doctor...
 

brainstorm77

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Jude it really is normal. I've been out of school since 1995. I did have my friends and others had no time for me.
Over the years I lost touch with everyone. I moved away and well people change and life goes on.
When FB first came on the scene and I joined, all of sudden these people all came out of nowhere, trying to 'friend' me etc... Even the people who had no use for me growing up.
It takes all kinds... That's all I have to say on it;)
 

kayleamay

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I'm still holding a grudge against a boy who threw a glass soda bottle at my head (slicing open my forehead) in the third grade. When the playground aide asked him why he did it he said, "Because she's so ugly it doesn't matter." Still not over it, but I know I should be. So, I suppose I'm petty too.

I wouldn't do the same in return if I had the chance, but I can't say I'd be very sympathetic if he rolled into my ER with a shard of glass above his eyebrow.
 

BenPanced

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every single person in my high school was a dirt bag. i hate them all and wouldn't even care to see what they look like now. they can all rot in hell--fat, pretty, skinny, ugly...every mother f*cking last one of them.

i'm a nice person.
This[sup]10[/sup]. If not wanting to see anybody or hear anything any of them have to say after 26 years makes me petty, then I'm petty to the core.
 

NeuroFizz

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If someone was a bully or insulting, or worse, it's natural to distance yourself from them and not care to ever have any kind of contact with them again. But I wonder about delighing in how a person's appearance changes. We all age differently, and it doesn't reflect the kind of person we've become. Maybe this guy did age poorly (in your eyes), but maybe he also became a nice guy who regretted some of the things he did in high school, or maybe he just became a nice guy in general. And maybe some people who were rather plain in high school became "hot" later in life, but if they also became petty and vindictive, did that make them better for the apprearance change?

If a person can only feel better about him/herself by putting others down, there is a basic problem with that person's self esteem. I'm not saying this about the OP because she questioned the feelings. And we all get some satisfaction in what we consider to be positive outcomes from our righteous indignations. So the reaction is normal as long as it isn't part of a more habitual method of judging former classmates.

And I see nothing wrong with wanting absolutely nothing to do with former classmates, particularly if a person had a horrible high school experience. But is that a reaction to every single classmate or a reaction to the situation in general? Either way, it's still legit and best to hold steady.
 
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shyne

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No you're not and I too was a late bloomer. I was friends with this young lady and soon we started dating. I did all the nice things I assumed you should do, but she ended up dumping me out of the blue. Didn't see her for years, but after I got out of the military I came back to NC. Pulled up to the Bojangle's drive thru, and lo and be damn hold...who is giving me my combo? My cajun seasoned fries? My chicken *shameless plug* sandwich? My large red soda? It's her in all of her round and robust glory. I played it cool, smiled, and asked her how she'd been. I pulled off and high five'd the shit out of myself.