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DeathsLove
09-26-2005, 05:15 AM
Under the Sun

Looked & saw the oppression
Pain under the sun
>(something)
>(something)

Tears of the oppressed
Comfort for no one
Power’s on the other side
No place to run & hide

Declared the dead
Those who died
Happier than
Those alive

But better than both
He who has not been
Has not seen the evil
Done under the sun


Thanks

Unique
09-26-2005, 05:55 AM
....fighting this change in direction
....why has this feeling begun

or...

....another war of agression
....benefits no one

or.....

throw them out if they don't suit and try again tomorrow.:D

Alphabet
09-26-2005, 09:16 AM
I liked

....another war of agression
....benefits no one

I didn't like


Declared the dead
Those who died
though.

DeathsLove
09-26-2005, 12:04 PM
perhaps i was being a little non discritive. I wrote this song in like hmm 10 mins...I was writing it for my friends band they wanted to make part of this sciprture into the band. They are going for a Hard rock christian but idk how its going to work but ya....

thank you so much for the ideas i really appriciate them!

JustRite
09-28-2005, 07:10 AM
the horror and the sadness -
it spared not a one.

OR

the horror and the sadness -
the world come undone.

DeathsLove
09-28-2005, 08:31 AM
Hey how bout
(i'm taking Just rite's suggestion)

Looked and saw the oppression
Pain under the sun
the horrors and the saddness
{Look what you have done!(jk jk) } actual>> The world has come undone

Whatcha think?

JustRite
09-28-2005, 09:10 AM
Hey how bout
(i'm taking Just rite's suggestion)

Looked and saw the oppression
Pain under the sun
the horrors and the saddness
{Look what you have done!(jk jk) } actual>> The world has come undone

Whatcha think?

I like "Look what you've done". Good one - works better I think, but ask the experts :)

kevink
09-30-2005, 09:51 AM
neverending transgressions

making the weak lies run

martin webster
11-04-2005, 08:46 AM
Life without the hope of heaven

Lived under a gun