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View Full Version : Parents with boys AND girls... question.



Dario D.
10-25-2010, 06:52 AM
Just wondering if it's usually easier to raise boys or girls...

C.bronco
10-25-2010, 06:59 AM
I only have a boy. As I hear, boys are harder to raise when young, and girls are harder when in their teens. I'd probably guess that's pretty accurate; I worked with teenage girls for 11 years.
If I'm wrong, I'm in for it!

quickWit
10-25-2010, 07:06 AM
My kids are both great, but my daughter has been tougher, no question. She's 15, my son is 12.

Chris P
10-25-2010, 07:09 AM
Two girls, one boy (all steps, if that makes a difference). Each child has been difficult in his/her own way. The boy (20 now) was more openly defiant (almost coming to blows at one point), the older girl (18 now) was just as rebellious but was more sneaky about it, and I'm going to have more boy worries with the youngest girl (15 now). So, it's hard to say. Define "easier."

Mom'sWrite
10-25-2010, 07:19 AM
My oldest is a boy and I have two girls. My son was the dream baby. If he cried for 2 minutes once a week, that was a lot for him. He was calm and sweet and thoroughly happy...until his younger sister came along.

He's 13 now and I have to say he has been quite a challenge and it looks like that will continue into the future. I do see gender differences between my girls and my son and I wonder if that's due to my parenting or if it's a cultural phenomenon. I can (unconsciously) train my girls to be good, responsible women but I can't train my son to be a good man, a good person maybe, but not a good man. I'm hoping that can be gleaned from his peers or his friends' dads.

Storyteller5
10-25-2010, 07:27 AM
My kids are still small, but so far, my daughter is the tougher one. I think it entirely depends on what age you are referring to.

Kenra Daniels
10-25-2010, 03:40 PM
I only have a girl, but I worked with kids from birth to ten years for fifteen years. Literally, a couple thousand kids passed through my classrooms. In general, boys tended to be rowdier, more rough and tumble. Girls tended to be more empathetic and gentle. Of course, there were rough and tumble girls, and gentle boys. I think it was due to parenting differences between the sexes, and cultural influences.

As for teens, IMO, girls are more worrisome. They can be as rebellious as boys, but with boys, you really only have to worry about one penis. With a girl, you have worry about them all. ;D My daughter had bipolar disorder, with onset in her late teens, so that made her more of a challenge to get safely through to adulthood.

KTC
10-25-2010, 03:58 PM
Just wondering if it's usually easier to raise boys or girls...

My own personal experience (and it will vary, I am sure) is that it is about 100000000000000000000000000% easier to raise boys.

Our daughter was a struggle from the beginning. She tested us in every way possible. She was a total and utter slob. She rebelled against the most laidback parents ever. I mean it was ridiculous that she rebelled against us. It literally did not make sense. She didn't let us into her life when it came to school. She was a living hell. As a young child, when we'd put her to bed...she occasionally opened her bedroom window and screamed, "THEY'RE KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" <<<I'm not kidding. She was a nightmare at bedtime. She CRIED as a baby too!

Our son. Polar opposite. He's an absolute open book. He shares everything with us...maybe too much. He NEVER rebels. He is tidy. He takes out the garbage and unloads the dishwasher without being asks. He gives tons of love. Just completely opposite from his sister. And as a teen...this hasn't stopped at all. We go golfing all the time. The two of us went to a movie together Saturday night...after hitting a restaurant for some wings. Oh...and as a child he was perfect at bedtime. He'd just go to bed and fall immediately to sleep. He never cried as a baby either.

I'm going with Girls are much harder to raise. But this is only my own personal experience.

Cella
10-25-2010, 04:21 PM
My daughter is only 4 months old but so far she has been a much easier baby than my son, who is about two. I picked the last option on the poll.

CaroGirl
10-25-2010, 07:28 PM
I'm the only one, it seems, who's leaning toward my girl being easier to raise than my boy. Granted, she was a far more difficult baby--crying a lot, fussy, not interested in sleeping--but she also didn't have tantrums, readily apologized for bad behaviour, and was far more compliant in general than my son. However, although my son is typically easy going, when he's stubborn about something, he's STUBBORN. And he has attention problems that make school difficult (for him and us).

I picked "about the same" because I have different challenges with each child at different stages of their lives. We're just entering the teen years now, so we'll see what that brings.

Maryn
10-25-2010, 08:18 PM
I picked 'about the same' because while each child presented his/her own challenges, the level of difficulty was fairly even. One's got these issues, acts this way, does this thing, and the other has those issues, acts that way, does that thing.

Our family is somewhat unusual in that our kids grew up as allies and were very close, so rivalry was not the problem it seems to be in many families. They were both quite close to me and spent a lot of time just hanging around with me and one another, so they kept few secrets and I knew what was going on in their little pointy heads most of the time.

Pretty much even, really.

It wasn't all wonderful and I was not the perfect parent, but they turned out okay despite my efforts.

Maryn, imperfect

Gretad08
10-25-2010, 08:32 PM
My kids are still babies...daughter's 2, son's 1, but as babies my son has been a zillion times easier than my daughter. My daughter has an independent streak a mile long. She's bossy, defiant, and challenges EVERYTHING, literally everything I tell her. Part of this is b/c she's 2, but part is her personality. My son's temperant is far more calm.

RobJ
10-25-2010, 09:51 PM
A step-daughter now 31, and a step-son now 28, that I've know since they were 7 and 4 years old. A daughter almost 21, and a son almost 18. They've all been easy, never had any trouble with any of them, so for me there's been no difference. I've known friends who've had terrible problems with their kids, mostly girls, but somehow we got lucky.

sheadakota
10-25-2010, 11:40 PM
My kids are 13 months apart the boy is 13 and the girl is twelve and I have to say without a doubt the boy has been easier!
My son is pretty straight forward- feed me and I will be fine-
My daughter? Oh Dear Lord! One minute she is all sweetness and loving the next her head is spinning around 360 and she is spitting out pea soup- Please let puberty end soon-

defyalllogic
10-25-2010, 11:47 PM
[this is all very scary for a person with no kids..]

thought to add though, I'm a girl, my sister was awful and i learned i just had to be less awful and i'd seem like a dream and get what i want. also, bad behavior looks insane to the other kid in the household so age may also be a factor in ease of rearing. if the eldest is a girl and the next is a boy then they could just be learning what not to do, regardless of gender.

LaurieD
10-26-2010, 12:00 AM
We have one of each - my Ms. Girl is 11, Li'l Dude is 7.

They've each had their moments that pushed and tested our parenting theories - Li'l Dude from about 15 months until two summers ago. Ms. Girl is in the midst of such a moment, this go-round has so far gone on for about three weeks.

*headdeskheaddeskheaddesk*

Um, yeah, I voted about the same - I have a rather unpleasant feeling Ms. Girl is just getting warmed up...

Monkey
10-26-2010, 12:09 AM
Every child is unique, with their own challenges. Each will have a mix of masculine and feminine traits, and each will fit into the family in their own unique way.

That said, even though I was (and am) a hardcore tomboy, my daughter has a good deal of feminine traits. My boy is about as masculine as a six-year-old can be...although he can be clingy at points and loves cuddle time.

My boy is a handful; he's loud, excitable, and extremely active, and pretty much has to be watched closely at all times. He enjoys taunting his sister, even though the two of them are extremely close.

For her part, my daughter actually seems to enjoy screaming when her brother harasses her. It's a game the two of them play, and they frequently laugh when I come in to break it up. At three years old, she can play quietly by herself for hours at a time. She's very cuddly and affectionate, and just all around a sweet, gentle child. She does love to fuss, though; any small bump requires a good fuss and a band-aid afterward.

My boy hardly blinks unless there's blood, and even then, he's likely to use the blood to chase his sister.

So which is easier? I guess if I'm looking for some writing time, my daughter is the easiest...she can sit and play in the floor while I work, content just to be near me. But if I've got running around to do, my son's the easiest--he can keep up, he likes the activity, and if he stubs his toe along the way, I'm not going to have to spend the next half hour calming him and searching frantically for a band-aid.

Sometimes, having them both is easier than just having one. They entertain each other.

Other times, they get into their little game of harass-and-scream, and they can be nigh unbearable.

Of the two of them, my boy takes after me. Looks like me, acts like me. My daughter takes after my husband's side of the family. Both of them want Mommy Mommy Mommy all the time, unless Daddy's willing to play. Then Mommy is chopped liver. :D

whacko
10-26-2010, 12:11 AM
I live apart from my daughter and the little bugger stopped talking to me when she turned 17. Seriously, it hurts.

She's 18 next month. So should I get the little ingrate a present? Or should I wait until she's 20 something, and we're pals again, and give her the 18th birthday treat?

Mom'sWrite
10-26-2010, 05:45 AM
I'm the only one, it seems, who's leaning toward my girl being easier to raise than my boy. Granted, she was a far more difficult baby--crying a lot, fussy, not interested in sleeping--but she also didn't have tantrums, readily apologized for bad behaviour, and was far more compliant in general than my son. However, although my son is typically easy going, when he's stubborn about something, he's STUBBORN. And he has attention problems that make school difficult (for him and us).

I picked "about the same" because I have different challenges with each child at different stages of their lives. We're just entering the teen years now, so we'll see what that brings.

I'm leaning toward my son being the major parenting challenge and for the same reasons.

WalkingContradiction
10-26-2010, 03:53 PM
Just a thought, I'd guess that the difference between firstborn and 2nd born is more statistically significant than different genders.

Undercover
10-26-2010, 04:32 PM
My son is 16 and my daughter is 13. My daughter is definitely harder to raise, she questions everything and pushes me to the max! My son goes with the flow on pretty much everything...someone said "feed me" and he'll be fine. That's my guy too.

But my girl? WOW...a big challenge.

Gretad08
10-26-2010, 07:37 PM
Just a thought, I'd guess that the difference between firstborn and 2nd born is more statistically significant than different genders.

I agree that birth order and gender play a huge role in development and personality. Of course, not every child is the same, but often there are traits that are similar, and parents have similiar experiences with their boy vs girl or oldest vs youngest.

In my family My Mom, daughter, niece, and I are all female oldest children. All four of us have very strong, similar personality traits that presented at an early age.

abctriplets
10-26-2010, 07:44 PM
I have a boy and 2 girls, all 3yrs old. The boy has an easy-going personality, and the girls have a more emotional personality. So I find it easier to relate to my son.

lexxi
10-29-2010, 07:03 PM
Just a thought, I'd guess that the difference between firstborn and 2nd born is more statistically significant than different genders.


And also individual temperament. My sister has three sons. The twins are more different from each other than they each are from their older brother.

cherubsmummy
10-31-2010, 07:14 AM
I have two boys, aged 12 and 7 and a girl aged 10. So far the degree of difficulty has been similar, though the issues we have faced have varied greatly between the genders. My daughter's problems tend to focus on emotional problems (friend drama) and my sons' have been more about learning impulse control (let's not run screaming after our friends brandishing a big stick, please).

I agree that birth order plays a role too, and we have had plenty of issues that were across all three children.

Kitty27
11-01-2010, 12:26 AM
I have three boys and one daughter. Boys win this poll easily.

My oldest son tried to be a handful. Luckily for his limbs and life,we quickly established who was in charge. Once he accepted his place in the natural order,things went smoothly. I wonder if first born parents and first born kids have issues more than other types of parent-child birth orders. He's quite moody and unpleasant. Other than that,he's a lovable child. My other sons are easy going and tend to behave wildly. I worry that they'll hurt themselves but I remember how my brothers behaved.


My daughter is usually calm. But she is dramatic,prone to fits of hysterics about anything,and can sometimes be a bit moody. Any hint of someone not liking her or what seems to me to be a minor issue results in tears,wails,and tearing of clothes.

Other than that,she's pretty easy to deal with. But the teen years with a girl can be a bit bothersome. Once the hormones hit,GOOD LORD.

C.bronco
11-12-2010, 08:06 AM
I just have to say that since my freshman year in college, I've been apologizing to my mom for being a horrible teenager.
I know there are others like me, LOL.
I love my Mom.

night-flyer
11-12-2010, 08:20 AM
I have a son and daughter. My son was always the more difficult one, not that my daughter doesn't have her moments. He always seemed to push it, where she may have done the same thing just quieter and not to the extent he took things.

She tried to hide her evil doings, but he just rebeled outright. It was tougher dealing with him, but harder on me when I found out whatever she had done. Kids can make you pull out your hair and age ten years in a week, no matter what sex they are.

Jessianodel
11-12-2010, 08:35 AM
I'm not sure. My mom said that I was perfect as a child. I never cried, the birth was perfect (she almost died with my older brother and then went into C-section with my younger), and I practically potty-trained myself. But now I get yelled at for having an attitude, being too loud, and not doing my chores.

With my older brother it's a fight about his grades and anger issues. He was apparently really bad as a baby and the only thing that would get him to stop crying was driving in the car. My mom would wait hours in the car for my dad to get home because she was so afraid to move him.

With my younger, it's his lack of respect and his whining and crying and superiority. I think his only problem was not listening well. We have an old video of him body-slamming our cat on Christmas. My dad would tell him to stop, he would stop and then do it again. He's my mom's little angel, so he doesn't get yelled at as much. I'm a daddy's girl but if anything, he yells at me more.

So I guess it's how you look at it. Ages probably play a role too. But for the most part, we're bad in different things.

hammers
11-12-2010, 02:41 PM
I have one daughter who is still young and she is hard work, very very demanding, has an answer for everything and bedtime can be a nightmare, whereas my nephews are all angels compared to my little girl, I also worked in cub scouts and the boys very usually well behaved.
So I say girls are harder work imo.