Tips for surviving hotel residencies.

Fenika, I hope this is a good situation you're in. And this is a nice handy reference too, thanks!
The few times I get to travel I only peek at hotels.com along with the sites on Kayak.com (a multi site travel site), yet I've always thought I was getting a good deal. I really want to travel more next year and any tips on how to save money is good - what are some good haggle pointers? (I hate haggling, I feel like an annoying rude cheapskate - no offense - but I'm starting to fear I've got to do it and do it well.)

Brian's Random Rules for hotels:

141. Ask for a room on the top floor. Those rooms are the quietest.

173. Ask for a room without a connecting door to the next room. Connecting doors are lousy at keeping sound from the next room at bay.

37. If your hotel has doors that don't go all the way to the carpet (surprising how often this is true), one of those nice big bath towels placed against the bottom of the door does a surprisingly good job of reducing sound from the hallway.

203. Try to stay in good hotels. Lots of deals can be found. I stay most often in Marriott-branded hotels (Marriott, Courtyard, Residence Inn, etc.). The good hotels are often far better than the lower-priced equivalents and deals can be found. If you need to stay in a lower priced hotel, look for a Fairfield or other hotel affiliated with one of the major chains. It will be run like a better hotel.

401. If you are going to unpack your suitcase, look carefully in the drawers for a moment to see if their are bedbugs or other insects in them. Even good hotels can have insect problems in some cities (i.e., NY, LA).

261. Bring your own soap. Hotel soap is lousy. I recommend Dove.

784. Go to a hardware store and buy an adapter that turns a standard wall outlet into an outlet that supports three plugs. These cost about $3.00 and can really make a difference in hotel rooms that don't have enough handy receptacles.

119. If you will be staying in a hotel for more than a day or two, stop by the front desk and ask to speak with the manager. Introduce yourself and say hello. If you have any gripes, let him or her know. You will get better service and recognition if you make yourself known.

302. Smiles work wonders with desk clerks and other hotel employees. (Note: they also work wonders with gate agents and TSA folks.)

63. A dollar bill left on the pillow each morning will make the maid happy and a happy maid is a maid who does a good job.

Yes, do tip the housekeeper! (I'm one, so...) You will get better service if you tip, because we feel appreciated and will make an extra effort to clean your room better. Also, if you don't wish to have your room cleaned, put the do not disturb sign on your door. No one but management is allowed to go past it. If we knock and you don't want your room cleaned, don't be an ass and yell (or be an ass, period). We're just doing our jobs. Yes, the quietest rooms are on the top floor. Don't smoke in a non-smoking room, that smell is hard to get rid of, and though this might just be my hotel, we can get written up or fired for not being able to get the smell out. Complain about things that really truly matter, if you have one, because any complaint on a room automatically comes down on the housekeeper who did that room, and again (could just be the hotel I work at) can lead to being disciplined or fired. And don't trash the room, too. Ya, we housekeepers get a lot of crap thrown at us.

Bring your own tea/coffee/cocoa. Travel with a corkscrew. Buy a surge supressing powerstrip. Bring your own ethernet cable. Bring earbuds and a sound source of your own, iPod, laptop, something. Get a Netflix subscription. Bring your own toiletries.

And always tip housekeeping.

find out if the concierage will send hot, naked men to your room. you won't be thinking about any of these other tips, if so.

Cut out the middle man and find out if the concierge looks hot naked.

Tip 422: Bring USB Speakers for your laptop. They don't have to be huge, but most movie files have quieter sound than music files, so if you do want to watch a movie on your laptop, you'll probably need some speakers. The smaller ones do both "make it loud enough to hear" and "fit into the zipper part of your laptop bag". A godsend.

Just think yourself lucky you're not staying in a hostel. Yes, I did that. Yes it was for far too long. Yes, it was my own fault.

Maryn said:

5. Check the clock-radio's alarm, since it's easy to accidentally set it to 'alarm' rather than 'off' when you're done listening to its music. Pretty jarring to wake at 5:45 to somebody else's musical tastes. (This has happened to us many times.)

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Yes.

Maryn said:

187. Bring your own toiletries and remove your soap from the tub area after use, lest housekeeping discard it.

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Yes!

This story has been around for ages. I'm sure you've all seen it before but it still makes me laugh.

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Dear Maid,

Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way.

Thank you.
S. Berman


Dear Room 635,

I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which are my standing instructions from the management. I hope this is satisfactory.

Kathy, Relief Maid


Dear Maid -- I hope you are my regular maid, Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning the little bars of soap. When I got back to my room this evening I found you had added 3 little Camays to the shelf under my medicine cabinet. I am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have brought my own bath-size Dial so I won't need those 6 little Camays which are on the shelf. They are in my way when shaving, brushing teeth, etc. Please remove them.

S. Berman


Dear Mr. Berman,

My day off was last Wednesday so the relief maid left 3 hotel soaps which we are instructed by the management. I took the 6 soaps which were in your way on the shelf and put them in the soap dish where your Dial was. I put the Dial in the medicine cabinet for your convenience. I did not remove the 3 complimentary soaps which are always placed inside the medicine cabinet for all new check-ins and which you did not object to when you checked in last Monday. Please let me know if I can be of further assistance.

Your regular maid,
Dotty

Dear Mr. Berman,

The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder informed me this A.M. that you called ham last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid service. I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will accept my apologies for any past inconvenience. If you have any future complaints please contact me so I can give it my personal attention. Call extension 1108 between 8 A.M. and 5 P.M. Thank you.

Elaine Carmen,
Housekeeper


Dear Miss Carmen,

It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel for business at 7:45 A.M. and don' t get back before 5:30 P.M. That's the reason I called Mr. Kensedder last night - you were already off duty. I only asked Mr. Kensedder if he could do anything about those little bars of soap. The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was a new check-in today, since she left another 3 bars of hotel soap in my medicine cabinet along with her regular delivery of 3 bars on the bathroom shelf. In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24 little bars of soap. Why are you doing this to me?

S. Berman


Dear Mr. Berman,

Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to your room and remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further assistance, please call extension 1108 between 8:00 A.M. and 5:00 P.M..

Thank you.

Elaine Carmen,
Housekeeper


Dear Mr. Kensedder,

My bath-size Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from my room including my own bath-size Dial. I came in last last night and had to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets.

S. Berman


Dear Mr. Berman,

I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap problem. I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room since our maids are instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time they service a room. The situation will be rectified immediately. Please accept my apologies for the inconvenience.

Martin L. Kensedder,
Asst. Manager

Dear Mrs. Carmen,

Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came in last night and found 54 little bars of soap. I don't want 54 little bars of Camay. I want my one damn bar of bath-size Dial. Do you realize I have 54 bars of soap in here. All I want is my bath-size Dial. Please give me back my bath-size Dial.

S. Berman


Dear Mr. Berman,

You complained of too much soap in your room so I had them removed. Then you complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your soap was missing so I personally returned them - the 24 Camays which had been taken and the 3 Camays you are supposed to receive daily. I don't know anything about the 4 Cashmere Bouquets. Obviously your maid, Kathy, did not know I had returned your soaps so she also brougth 24 Camays plus the 3 daily Camays. I don't know where you got the idea this hotel issues bath-size Dial. I was able to locate some bath-size Ivory which I left in your room.

Elaine Carmen,
Housekeeper


Dear Mrs. Carmen,

Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap inventory. As of today I possess: On shelf under medicine cabinet - 18 Camay in 4 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2. On Kleenex dispenser - 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 3. On bedroom dresser - 7 Cashmere Bouquet in 1 stack of 3 & 1 stack of 4, 1 hotel- size bath-size Ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4. Inside medicine cabinet - 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2. In shower soap dish - 6 Camay, very moist. On northeast corner of tub - 1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used. On northwest corner of tub - 6 Camays in 2 stacks of 3. Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the stacks are neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that stacks of more than 4 have a tendency to tip. May I suggest that my bedroom window sill, which is not in use, will make an excellent spot for future soap deliveries. One more item, I have purchased another bar of bath-size Dial which I am keeping in the hotel vault in order to avoid further misunderstandings.

S. Berman

Ooo... I've got some.

3. Go ahead and ask for a nicer room, or an upgrade for the same price. If there's no one in the hotel, most hotels usually don't mind you taking the upgrade for the night. I totally would give people a nicer room if the rooms were empty anyway. Usually during the week there was no one there. (I had to clean the rooms, too. I didn't mind changing up the rooms I cleaned.)

3. Staying on the beach is going to be way more expensive than staying 10 miles inland. For example, a beach hotel may cost $200 a night, while something 10 miles away from the beach might be only $80 a night. If you don't mind the short drive to get to the beach, opt to stay at a different location. (Is the view that important?)

3. When I was a maid, I was never tipped. I never knew if I was supposed to be tipped. I was surprised when I was. And once was from parents whose kid puked all over stuff in the hotel room. So if your kid pukes, or if you puke, and you make me clean it up... please tip me. I may not go home totally grumpy that day.

3. If all you need is extra towels, leave a note on your door. I'll pass by. I will see it. I will leave towels. You don't have to wait for me. And yes, use the sign if you don't want me in there. If you call the front desk, that message may or may not get to me.

3. Take the top cover off. Don't sleep with the top cover on. That's not a blanket. The blanket is the thinner thing below the top cover.

3. They don't always wash the top covers after every visit.

3. Coffee pots that are provided aren't used that often and if the maid doesn't see that it has been used, she may not have cleaned it out. You may want to check for used coffee and clean it a little before trying to use it in the morning.

3. Carry clothes that you don't have to iron. Dragging out the ironing board and iron may not happen, because I may not know where it is.

3. Don't look underneath the bed.

3. Just don't.

3. Trust me.

3. If you had 100 rooms to clean, would you lift the bed up every single time to see if someone bothered to leave anything underneath?

3. Don't call me into your room and complain about the room and then when I ask you if you want your money back so you can leave, you tell me no, you'll stay.

3. In fact, after you get into your room, don't bug me unless you really need something.

3. Ask me for tips on where to eat. I have an opinion.

3. Don't remake the bed if you sleep in it. A messy bed tells me you want sheets cleaned. That tells me which bed you slept in. If you don't mess up the bed, I'm resistant to trying to figure out which one you slept in. If it looks like you didn't sleep in either of them, I may not change the sheets, because I don't want to waste water and sheets.

ButtonTheCat said:

3. They don't always wash the top covers after every visit.

3. Coffee pots that are provided aren't used that often and if the maid doesn't see that it has been used, she may not have cleaned it out. You may want to check for used coffee and clean it a little before trying to use it in the morning.

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Button is being nice. I'd amend these rules to:

3. They almost never, every wash the top covers. Pull them off, pile them in a corner and then go wash your hands. Thoroughly.

3. You don't want to know what stuff has been inside that coffee pot. Really. If you really want to make hot beverages in your hotel room, spend $14 for one of these handy gadgets. Also, assume that any dishes in your room have only been rinsed out (at best) after the last guest used them. If they are not sealed in some sort of package, wash them with hot water and soap before you use them. Otherwise, you might not want to know what you've been drinking. If you're going to be in a hotel room for a few days and it has a dishwasher (a la Residence Inn), throw all of the dishes and silverware into the dishwasher and run it. Then you'll know that you're eating off clean dishes.

PS:

3. Don't look under the bed.

I'll be staying in a Motel for the next 3 days. Fortunately, my dad owns it, and he always gives me the biggest room (free) and I can go into his house to get whatever I want. And it'll be hot there, so I won't be using the top cover. No frickin' way.

Which brings me to the next tip:

Find your favourite hotel and marry into the manager's family.

Fenika said:

Article 5426.1 states that it is a VERY bad idea to drive to the beach. Parking nightmares, meter costs, etc. Plus you'll still have to lug your 4 beach chairs, 3 beach bags, 2 coolers, and extra beach towels and whatever your kids shove at you, including but not limited to everything they bought and their boogie boards, over 3 blocks, since you couldn't find parking closer.

Find a bus route, bike in, or hike it for extra exercise. Pack light. All you really need is sunblock and a wallet

Plus you'll be surprised how much faster you can walk than bumper to bumper beach traffic (Not kidding though)



I staid at a Residence Inn, and all my stuff disappeared into the dishwasher (I figured this out the last evening). Before using something, I did check it over for cleanliness and only one item failed. Maybe I got lucky or the ick was invisible.

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I agree, depends on the beach of course.

Get a cab if you can. I had a few cabbies when I lived on the beach and kept their cards. So much easier to let someone else do the driving for the day for $10. You pay that much in parking anyway.

If you have their card, you can tip them off about when you will be ready to leave and give them a call when you are ready. They'll be there.

At Hampton Inn, where I work, we have to change the duvet covers for every check out room, and for extended stays only if needed. The extended stays get their sheets changed every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, whether they want them changed or not. Unless they have belongings on the bed, of which we're not allowed to move. Changing those duvet covers are a pain in the arse, but I've changed so many that it only takes me five minutes to strip and remake the bed.