No one eats salad.

Devil Ledbetter · Sep 23, 2010

If there is a salad anywhere near a celebrity interview it's almost guaranteed that no one will eat it. They will pick at it. This is the second-most predictable phrase in interview stories.

As she sat down and daintily picked at her salad...
she sipped a non-fat latte and picked at her mango chicken salad as we ...
.. recalled as she picked at a fruit salad ...
Emily picked at her salad nervously.
As he picked at a fruit salad in a restaurant
dynamics have changed,” he said as he picked at his salad
while she picked at a Caesar salad;
But she's not perfect,” C told the group as she picked at her salad. ...
Sitting at a desk, she picked at her salad. "I love my salad," she said,
during a recent interview as she picked at a green salad on the patio
picked at beet salad for his pre- game meal
and she picked at a salad while talking incessantly on her cellphone.
As his wife picked at her salad,
Mrs B just picked at a salad whilst
picked at her salad and tried not to appear visibly uncomfortable

The first most predictable phrase is "I caught up with ______..."

I caught up with Charlie to see what's on his mind
I caught up with Issaquah's record-setting wide receiver
I caught up with him via email to talk about
I caught up with Santelli just moments ago and talked to him
I caught up with the legendary Ridley Scott last week
I caught up with Katie this week as she
I caught up with Robert De Niro
I caught up with him a couple months back
I caught up with the trio to talk costumes,
I caught up with him recently at his home
I caught up with Brett Dennen on the
I caught up with Ann over email
I caught up with him about getting
I caught up with Fabio to ask him a few questions
I caught up with Wasik before his talk
I caught up with Karsten Wade,
I caught up with the mesmerizing Jack Donner

Apparently no reporter can simply talk to, telephone, email with, visit or have lunch (and pick at a salad) with an interview subject without first catching up with him/her. Because apparently celebrities run everywhere they go. And those interviews can never be described as anything but "catching up." They can't be conversations, discussion, exchanges, etc. It must always be "I caught up with."

You'd think reporters are always running behind, I guess, either literally or figuratively. Probably a result of all that time wasted waiting for their previous interview subjects to finish picking at salads.

Okay, these might not be the two most predictable phrases in interviews, but I'm electing them for retirement.

Which interview phrases would you like to chucked into the "overused" bin?

LGwenn · Sep 23, 2010

See, and I always think...So, you two are old friends and you are just "catching up" in an interview for your magazine. How nice.

Shadow_Ferret · Sep 23, 2010

Hmm, I'm with Devil. I always thought "caught up with" meant these people are so busy you have to track them down and tackle them during the middle of some activity to get in any sort of interview.

Me, I'd love to have my interviewer write, "We found Ferret lazying around in his backyard in the hammock, and while we talked, he scarfed down a double-cheeseburger, a bowl of french fries, and washed it all down with a cold I.P.A."

BenPanced · Sep 23, 2010

Devil Ledbetter said:
Which interview phrases would you like to chucked into the "overused" bin?

"Madonna was breathless as she breezed into Chez Platypus fifteen minutes late."

"Beyonce, breezing into Chez Wombat 10 minutes late, was breathless as she sat down at our table..."

"Breathless because he was three days late, John Lovitz breezed into the LaJolla Ave. McDonald's."

You can rearrange the words as much as you'd like...

Maryn · Sep 23, 2010

This reminds me why I've let all our magazine subscriptions expire.

Maryn, breezing out of here--unless you catch up with her

firedrake · Sep 23, 2010

"The (insert name of small-town paper here) sat down with..."

BenPanced · Sep 23, 2010

Damn. Big tables they got at Chez Stoat.

Devil Ledbetter · Sep 23, 2010

Shadow_Ferret said:
Hmm, I'm with Devil. I always thought "caught up with" meant these people are so busy you have to track them down and tackle them during the middle of some activity to get in any sort of interview.

I always read it as a chase-down, but realize it also means "catching up" on information. In either case, it's one of those things like "arms akimbo" or "a shock of red hair" that seem to only ever be used in Writing.

LGwenn · Sep 23, 2010

I read an interview where a woman "caught up" with Ad- rock from the Beasties...long interview full of chummy type talk where she insinuated that they were best-ys. Only the photos were of MCA... LAFF LAFF LAFF

Phaeal · Sep 23, 2010

I prefer NPR interviews, because they seem to have enacted a salad moratorium. I can't remember any salads there, except on "The Splendid Table," and those people would not pick at salads, they'd dive in head first. Especially Jan and Michael Stern.

GeorgeK · Sep 23, 2010

Shadow_Ferret said:
these people are so busy you have to track them down and tackle them during the middle of some activity to get in any sort of interview.."

and hence the not eating of the salad

Gretad08 · Sep 23, 2010

Devil Ledbetter said:
I always read it as a chase-down, but realize it also means "catching up" on information. In either case, it's one of those things like "arms akimbo" or "a shock of red hair" that seem to only ever be used in Writing.

I can't think of anything in magazine interviews, but when you said "shock of red hair" I laughed out loud. That phrase drives me crazy. Also, "startlingly blue eyes",or "Piercing, blue eyes". Oh, and "Razor sharp nose".

Devil Ledbetter · Sep 23, 2010

BenPanced said:
"Madonna was breathless as she breezed into Chez Platypus fifteen minutes late."

Speaking of Madonna, I'd love to see just one story about her that refrains from using the word "reinvent." If there was a drinking game involving the words Madonna and reinvent being paired in a sentence, we'd have all died of alcohol poisoning by now.

What I don't get is why reporters want to keep on saying the things that have already been said and said and said.

And by the same token, on an indie-rock journalism note, I'd like to see a piece about My Morning Jacket that doesn't use "reverb," "reverb drenched" or "reverbed soaked" or "reverb goin' on for days."

happywritermom · Sep 23, 2010

In defense of the salad eaters, you can't really "chow down" on a salad while you're being interviewed. But would it hurt for the interviewer to avoid describing the meal for a change?

Devil Ledbetter · Sep 23, 2010

happywritermom said:
In defense of the salad eaters, you can't really "chow down" on a salad while you're being interviewed. But would it hurt for the interviewer to avoid describing the meal for a change?

Or if he must describe it, say something like "She ordered a chef's salad minus the bacon, eggs, bleu cheese, avocado, onions and croutons." That attention to detail would convey more about the individual than the predictable "picked at."

Polenth · Sep 23, 2010

Devil Ledbetter said:
Or if he must describe it, say something like "She ordered a chef's salad minus the bacon, eggs, bleu cheese, avocado, onions and croutons." That attention to detail would convey more about the individual than the predictable "picked at."

If I saw that, I'd assume the interviewer was more interested in the salad than the celebrity. Which may be true. Maybe they didn't eat breakfast or they really love salads.

Devil Ledbetter · Sep 23, 2010

Polenth said:
If I saw that, I'd assume the interviewer was more interested in the salad than the celebrity. Which may be true. Maybe they didn't eat breakfast or they really love salads.

Fair enough. My point is I'd like to see anything but the predictable "picked at." Maybe the real problem is that they start the interview write up too early. First the writer must "catch up with" his subject, then they're in a restaurant, then the subject is "picking at her salad." The next thing we know were being told that Madonna has reinvented herself. Groundbreaking!

Wake me up when something interesting happens.

whacko · Sep 23, 2010

Hi David,

You've got to remember it's a two-way street. The interviewer wants us to think he/she's only knocking out a thousand words in between salad for lunch, roast pheasant for dinner and vintage champagne with celeb pals in Monaco.

I used to get a magazine called Classic Rock but binned it, because I was finding out more about the bloody journalists than the buggers on the cover.

Regards

Stacia Kane · Sep 23, 2010

Shadow_Ferret said:
Hmm, I'm with Devil. I always thought "caught up with" meant these people are so busy you have to track them down and tackle them during the middle of some activity to get in any sort of interview.

Me, I'd love to have my interviewer write, "We found Ferret lazying around in his backyard in the hammock, and while we talked, he scarfed down a double-cheeseburger, a bowl of french fries, and washed it all down with a cold I.P.A."

Only very skinny actresses get to eat big burgers in interviews. It's supposed to show that they're, giggle, just naturally slim with very fast metabolisms, and stave off any anorexia rumors.

(As a side rant, I hate that crap. Drew Barrymore can brag all she wants about how in the Charlie's Angels movie she insisted there be a scene with all the Angels eating burgers to encourage young women to eat, but when they see very thin women eating like that all it does is make them feel more inadequate that they have to work at being thin, unlike everyone else. Staying very thin involves sacrifice if you're not born with the metabolism of a cheetah; I have to be very careful about what I eat to stay as slim as I am, and so do most women, and it infuriates me to see smug actresses--who you know are aware of what hard work it is--acting like they're doing some kind of public service by holding up yet another totally unrealistic standard for young women. Be honest and admit that to stay very slim you don't get to chow down on fat juicy burgers and mountains of fries every day.

Rant over, sorry.)

Eddyz Aquila · Sep 23, 2010

I hate that "caught up with" expression. I find it bland and to me it has absolutely no substance whatsoever apart from it being a sentence-filler and in order to illustrate how busy celebrities are from the reporters' point of view.

Next!

The Lonely One · Sep 26, 2010

I had a fellow reporter, as a joke to the editor for some unimportant special section, write about a fudge factory (I forget the specifics), mentioning the majestic fudge waterfalls and butterflies and rainbows...I think he was using hyperbole. And of course the editor caught it and cut it.

I also recall the phrase "God bless ____ County and nowhere else" in the early draft. It's the little things I miss about journalism.

whacko · Sep 27, 2010

Another nasty cliche is the My Hell... headline. Over the weekend, one paper squeezed it in twice. My Hell In Kylie's Shadow, and somebody else, possibly Vicky Beckham, in Hell for something else.

Cyia · Sep 27, 2010

Devil Ledbetter said:
I always read it as a chase-down, but realize it also means "catching up" on information. In either case, it's one of those things like "arms akimbo" or "a shock of red hair" that seem to only ever be used in Writing.

And why, exactly, is it a "shock" of red hair anyway? Did they not have red hair the last time you saw them? Where you expecting them to be blond and the realization that they weren't was so overpowering you did a spit take? Did you faint dead away at the hue because you thought their head was on fire?

GeorgeK · Sep 27, 2010

a wizard did it

Devil Ledbetter said:
What I don't get is why reporters want to keep on saying the things that have already been said and said and said.
"

It's the "Drivel" spell. In order to maintain the illusion that they are saying something worthwhile, they have to keep talking. When they stop, it breaks the spell and they risk their bosses realizing that they have nothing to say.

The Lonely One said:
mentioning the majestic fudge waterfalls and butterflies and rainbows...I think he was using hyperbole. .

...Or, he was using hallucinogens.

No one eats salad.

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