Elderly Advice (Not medical in nature) :)

Grrarrgh · Sep 21, 2010

There's an elderly woman who lives in an aparment near my mom. This woman should not be living on her own. Her apartment is filthy because she can't clean it - there are flies. And mice. And other various bugs and crawly things. Yesterday she fell, and my mom, who's in her 60s, spent 3 hours trying to lift her 160 pounds of deadweight off of the floor and into a chair instead of calling 911 or something to help her. Which ticks me off for a whole host of other reasons. Her mind is going. She has kids and a sister, but they live in different states and don't bother with her.

Am I right in thinking that there has to be an organization or something that I can contact about the situation? I don't necessarily want this woman to be removed from her home, but someone needs to at least be checking on her. Fortunately when she fell yesterday she was able to call my mom for help and my mom was home, but that could just as easily have not been the case. My mom has tried to contact the family, but the neighbor refuses to give her their information, and internet searches haven't turned up anything. Should I contact someone? Is it my place? She just can't be on her own anymore.....

Susan Coffin · Sep 21, 2010

Make an anonymous call to your local police department. They would know what to do.

kayleamay · Sep 21, 2010

Most states have an Adult Protective Services for vulnerable adults (namely disabled and elderly). Call your local social services office and they should be able to put you in contact with someone. You can also call the police. Depending on how things work in your neck of the woods, they can do anything from file the report with APS to doing welfare checks on her. If her living conditions are unsafe, they should file a report. Police are mandatory reporters.

ETA: They try not to displace elderly people if it can be avoided. They might be able to get her some help though (cooking, cleaning, routine checks, etc.).

Maryn · Sep 21, 2010

Grr, here's the website where you would begin (in your general area, IIRC). (BTW, if you'd rather keep that private, holler and I'll delete the link.) They have a Contact Us link. When you click on the Services link, they have a free-and-low-cost compassionate home care program, which it sounds like she needs.

Maryn, pretty sure help is available for her

Grrarrgh · Sep 21, 2010

Thanks, guys. I figured there had to be some organization that would help. I feel a little strange getting involved since I know she has family, but it's obvious that they're not going to do anything.

shadowwalker · Sep 21, 2010

Definitely contact social services or police. There are services like Meals-on-Wheels, which isn't just to provide nutritious meals but to act as a check-up to make sure people are okay. Many elderly are eligible for nursing visits or day care through various social programs. They definitely prefer to keep the elderly in their own homes if at all possible, simply because there aren't enough spaces/personnel in nursing homes and assisted living residences.

heyjude · Sep 21, 2010

Yep, call your local Department of Aging. Protective Services likely won't take it, as it's not an imminent threat case (unless they operate differently in your area), but you can ask (nicely) that the visit be sooner rather than later.

Be nice to the intake worker.

And don't worry about the family. If they don't care, thank goodness at least you do.

Elderly Advice (Not medical in nature) :)

Grrarrgh

Not so new, not so much a kid

Susan Coffin

Tell it like it Is

kayleamay

I'm on the phone.

Maryn

At Sea

Grrarrgh

Not so new, not so much a kid

shadowwalker

empty-nester!

heyjude

Making my own sunshine