My plate is too full.

This year my two oldest kids started middle school and high school and the two youngest are still in grade school. This means that the oldest one has to be at school at 7 a.m. and the youngest not until 9 a.m. This also means that the oldest gets out at 2:00 and the youngest at 3:30.

I work nights and sleep in the day so I can get them to and from school and make sure they aren't getting into trouble in the afternoons, but this new schedule means that when I come home from work I only have from about 9:30 a.m. until 3:00 p.m. to sleep. It also means that every time I work I have to stay awake and still function at a reasonably high level for about 20 hours at a time.

I also have three boys playing youth football on two different teams who practice on different days, so the running never seems to stop. Now add in doctor's appointment, ER visits (not work related) and all other parental responsibilities and I'm buried.

I've barely written anything since this started and I'm too flustered to track submissions, so all writerly things have come to a standstill.

Lately I've been thinking that the only logical thing to do is put writing/publishing dreams on the back burner for now, but I feel like if I do I might never get back to it, or that it will be years before I do. (Like when I decided to take a "break" from college at 22 and didn't get back to it until I was 30.)

Has anyone else done this and lived to tell about it? Is it weird that I feel greedy for not wanting to give it up? I've learned a lot in the last couple of years and my writing has certainly improved. I don't want to dust off the keyboard at a later date and find that I'm so rusty I can only write in shorthand, because that's what happened the last time I "took a break" from writing. Can you break from writing for years and not have to start over at step one?

Sorry if this seems whiny, but it's not really something I can talk to my non-writer friends about. To them, it's just a hobby. To me, it's momentum and opportunities lost.

Okay, long post. I'll shut up now.

Thanks Caro and DeleyanLee. Head space...good term. That's what I'm out of.

My highschooler has Downs so she needs to have an adult put her on the bus and be there when she gets off. She's a super easy kid, but her disability comes with a few extra responsibilities for me.

As for the younger three, they are boys and close in age. Any two of them together can help out, but when you add the third to the mix they tend to get competative and it always turns into a war. Hence, keeping my eye on them when they're home. They help out with laundry and dishes, but their cooking misadventures are more than I can take.

My husband helps out as much as he can by getting my daughter up and moving before he leaves for work and ferrying kids to football when I can't because of work, but he's feeling taxed too. We only saw each other in passing for four days straight last week. I think we've adopted the "We'll catch up when the kids leave for college," mentality.

As it sits right now, I can't schedule anything. The best I can hope for is to get a few words in on the rare occasion that I'm left alone for short spurts and my brain is still functioning well enough to do so.

The local orgainizations for folks with developmental disabilities only help out the adult population. She gets picked up and dropped off by the school district, but that's about all I can hope for right now.

As for the boys, we live too close for the bus to pick up (they don't run routes here unless you live more than 2 miles from the school) but they would have to walk past a park where most of the towns homeless population live and several of them are wearing sex offender bracelets. If I let them walk I wouldn't be able to sleep anyway because I'd be obsessing that someone was trying to abduct one of them.

I know it will change eventually. Everything does. In a few years they'll be more independent and I'll be able to relax a little more. In the mean time, what's a mother's helper? Is that like a nanny? Do they do that for older children?

quickWit said:

Peas-out, baby.

Click to expand...

PEAS-OUT???? We can't be out of peas! I was going to make a friggin' caserole for dinner! What am I supposed to do now? Let everyone starve? Oh, that's just great, bunneh.

*adds peas to grocery list*
*sobs hysterically*


Nah, I know I need to roll with it. It's just crazy right now and I don't acclimate quickly. I figure I'll get the system down right about the time it changes again.