View Full Version : In need of a fast Beta reader

09-17-2010, 07:59 AM

I'm in need of a fast beta reader who enjoys YA paranormal romances. I started querying for this ms two days ago. Since then, I received a full request from a really good agent. I already received my rejection from her today. She loves the premise, but the characters fall too flat for her ( whatever that means). So, I'm looking for one or more betas to give me their honest opinions on the story. I'm willing to swap. Here's the story line in case anyone's interested :

Seventeen-year-old Allie Anderson's telekinetic powers are anything but useful -- she can't bring her father back, can't stop her mother's downward spiral into alcohol, and can't keep herself from falling in love with Ethan Bradley. In fact, she can't control her telekinesis at all.

When Ethan first steps into her metaphysical shop, Allie knows he isn't like anyone she's ever met. His eyes are deep and dark, and even though Allie swore she would never fall in love, she finds it hard to stay away from him. When she witnesses Ethan heal with his hands and toss someone through the air without lifting a finger, she discovers his ability to manipulate energy with his mind. Loving him is easy, but it comes with a hefty price: Ethan is an immortal, and according to their rules, immortals are prohibited from interacting with mortals.

When the immortals find out about Ethan and Allie's forbidden relationship, they slam into the mortal world using Ethan's portal and take him away, sealing the doorway behind them. In order to re-open the portal and reunite with Ethan, Allie must find a way to control her telekinesis. But there's someone who will do anything to make sure the portal stays closed. If Allie can't learn to control her powers and fight, he will make every attempt to stop her beating heart, and not even the energy of an immortal can bring her back.

Thanks =)

09-19-2010, 01:06 AM
I don't need to swap, since I have a good beta I am working with, but I am great at character building. I'd be glad to send a few chapters...or if you want you can stop by scifi syw and check out the first section of my MS which is currently giving me a headache. It gives you some insight to my MC's personality though, and if you are interested I can email you more or you can send a chapter or two to me for a test run.

I recently helped my last beta find a way to give her character a better voice in her novel without changing the storyline. She was pleased with the results although it did of course lead to some work.

I'm prompt and a fast reader and I am nice but thorough with crit. I don't do grammar/spelling.

I need a break from revisions before I burn my novel.

09-19-2010, 05:55 PM
I like paranormal romances and I'm willing to give you some help with your characters. Mostly, I'm good at finding character inconcistencies. I don't need to swap right now, but might need around November. :)
If you would like my help, send me a private message. Also, just to clarify, what's the word count?