He stoked a Gently Growing Fire

Not as lewd as I was expecting.

Meanwhile, from the title of this thread I thought it was going to be about woodsmanship.

In a way, I guess it is.

I think OP is a good place for it--the book you highlighted isn't the only gem on the blog.

And in a way, it is about trees. Vera watched, fascinated, as Robert's tree grew taller...

Okay, I'll leave now...

Lyra Jean said:

I was wondering if I should have put this in the romance section.

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It's welcome in this room, Lyra; but if you prefer the other forum, just say the word and I'll ever so gently caress it with my steel-hard, pulsating manhood all the way move it to the Romance section.

Lyra Jean said:

SK I'm so glad I wasn't drinking anything. If it's not too much of a hassle that would be great. I think it would fit in better there.

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Your wish is my command.

dear holy mother of awful eye singing books! lol, I was CRINGING at the horror of some of those. Aw, jesus, what has been seen cannot be unseen. As a romance writer I just get that squicky feeling when I read really bad purple prose. It's like, highlighting the potential for other people to be laughing at YOUR work when you read that kind of stuff

Oh, man. "...the double meaning of his gaze was very obvious?"

Notice how many of those are "was" sentences? None of them are active. There's nothing inherently wrong with "was," but for those...I can think of half a dozen better ways to say every single thing those lines say, and without bad cliches too.

Wow.

what hurts the most is that i've recently critiqued an 'erotic' short that used many of those phrases, or variations thereupon. unironically. sigh.

I've read recently published stories with variations of those phrases. I feel as if I should now scan every romance story I've written to see if I've included any raking eyes or jolting pulses

ha, hilarious! I like the "he was so disturbing to her in every way." I wanna know what kind of sex those two were having. Reminds me of Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Quotes, which are arguably not all that bad (are they?).

I'd have to look, but I think I have this book... **cringes**

My fave, hands down, is: she replied with complacent buoyancy.

I LOVE lines like this, that cancel each other out and make no sense at the same time. They make me happy in a totally perverse way.

Thank you ALL so much for the post and the reactions!
I truly needed a laugh today.

Oh look, he's a Star Trek teleporter!

he scanned her critically and beamed approval

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Approval is an odd name, though.

I love these, thanks! Too funny.

Maybe it's a burning bush?

"his eyes raked boldly over her"

"his gaze was riveted on her face"

"his steady gaze bored into her in silent expectation"



Does he get his eyes from Home Depot?

Hey, I can write lines like that. And usually I have to work hard to come up with them. I should write romance.